Transcript THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM”

“THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM”
A Workshop on
Domestic Violence and
Power Imbalances in the
Collaborative Process
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Presenter
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Survey Says
Question
Yes
Is domestic violence an issues in
your work?
Are power imbalances an issues in
your work?
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No
77.8% 22.2%
96.0%
4.0%
Survey Says
Do you currently screen for
domestic violence and/or power
imbalances in your work?
Have you had any training in
matters concerning domestic
violence or power imbalances?
Have you had any training in
screening for domestic violence
and/or power imbalances?
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81.6% 18.4%
73.0% 27.0%
61.9% 38.1%
Survey Says
If domestic violence is an issue in
your work, for what percentage of
cases would this be an issue?
0 - 20%
20 - 40%
40 - 60%
60 - 80%
80 - 100%
Unsure
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82.9%
13.4%
2.4%
0.0%
0.0%
1.2%
The Statistics Say
Estimates from the Canadian Violence Against Women Survey
(Statistics Canada, 1993) indicate that 29% of ever married
Canadian woman and 50% of divorced women have been
victims of abuse.
…the divorce rate for non-abused women is 15% and for
women who experienced high severity abuse in a first
marriage have a divorce rate of 75%
Bowlus, A and Seitz, S., Domestic Violence, Employment and Divorce, International Economics Review, Vol 47, No 4, Nov
2006
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Goal
 This workshop is to raise the awareness
of problems arising in the collaborative
process that flow from domestic violence
and power imbalances existing between
the parties and facilitate management of
same for more balanced and durable
agreements.
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Objectives
 You will learn:
 Definitions of domestic violence and power
imbalances
 The impact on children and adults.
 Strategies to identify domestic violence and
power imbalances
 Strategies to advance the Collaborative (as
appropriate) process in light of such findings.
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Warning
You will be exposed to very distressing
material within this presentation.
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Additional Disclaimer
 Tip of the Iceberg…
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The Literature on DV in CP
There is no substantive body of literature!
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Even after this presentation…
 You will have to:
 Determine your response to Domestic
Violence and Power Imbalances;
 How to respond to safety concerns;
 How to manage the collaborative process;
 How to work with professional partners.
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Why discuss this?
 Domestic violence and power
imbalances undermine the parties ability
to negotiate and settle disputes on a fair
and equitable basis. The very process
may put a party at risk of harm.
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What it looks like:
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What it looks like:
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Definitions
 Domestic Violence:

Screaming, yelling, name calling, belittling, intimidating,
threatening, stealing, confining, controlling resources,
throwing objects, slapping, hitting, hair pulling,
punching, kicking, choking - by one party to another or
between parties, both subject to an intimate co-habiting
relationship between themselves. In the context of
separation and settlement, there is a concern both for the
heightened risk to safety and the impact of domestic
violence on the ability of the victim to settle matters
equitably.
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Definitions
 Power Imbalances:

A compromised ability by one party to represent
and negotiate their needs with another party such
that a negotiated solution would likely wind up
with a lop-sided outcome to the disadvantage of
the party with the compromised ability. The
ability to represent oneself may be compromised
by the power and control tactics of the other
party.
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Types of Power Imbalances
 Domestic violence
 Mental health issues
 Immigration issues
 Caste or social status
 Education
 Extended family resources
 Other…
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Basic data…
 Statistically, women are the victim of domestic
violence, versus men, by a factor of 9:1
 The likelihood of injury and death of a woman
subject to domestic violence far exceeds the risk of
same as to a man.
 More typically, where a man is injured or killed, it
is in the context of defensive behaviour on the part
of the woman.
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More basic data…
 Domestic violence is found similarly in same-sex
relationships.
 There are multiple types of domestic violence and levels of
risk ranging in dangerousness from little to lethal.
 Between 3.3 - 10 million children witness some form of
domestic violence annually.
 Domestic violence causes not only physical harm, but
emotional, psychological, social and vocational harm.
 Exposure to domestic violence as in child witnessing, causes
similar harm…
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Domestic Violence Defined
from a Child Perspective
 Hostile, abusive or neglectful behaviour targeted at the child
directly by parent or adult in the home
 Child’s direct exposure to acts of violence between adults
in the home as in the case of seeing, hearing or smelling
abusive behaviour
 Child’s indirect exposure to acts of violence as when seeing
bruises, broken objects, distressed parent, blood or other
evidence in the aftermath
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0 – 1 year old
Ways of Being Drawn In
Effects of Abuse
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Seeing it
Hearing it
Being awakened by it
Being injured by it
Being ripped from mother's arms
Having toys broken
Being born prematurely
Being hit while in mom's arms
Being thrown
Physical injury
Death
Fright
Being traumatized by it
Sleep disturbances
Eating disturbances
Being colicky or sick
Insecurity because of being
cared for by a traumatized mom
 Not responsive or cuddly
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Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html
2 – 4 Year Olds
Ways of Being Drawn In
Effects of Abuse
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Seeing it
Hearing it
Trying to stop altercation
Becoming abused themselves
Being used as a physical
weapon against the victim
 Being interrogated by perpetrator
about victims activities
 Being held hostage by
perpetrator
Acting out violently
Withdrawal
Trouble with other kids
Delayed toileting
Eating problems
Nervous, jumpy
Sleep problems
Insecurity, fear and Depression
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Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html
5 – 12 Year Olds
Ways of Being Drawn In
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Seeing & hearing it
Picking 1 parent to defend
Physically intervening
Calling the police
Running to neighbors for help
Being used as a spy against
Mom
 Forced to participate in attack on
Mom
 Being physically or sexually
abused to control Mom
 Being restricted from contact
with others
Effects of Abuse
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Fear & insecurity
Low self esteem
Withdrawal/depression
Running away
Early drug/alcohol use
School problems
Bedwetting
Sexual activity
Becoming caretaker of adults
Being embarrassed by one's
family
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Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html
Teen Boys and Girls
Ways of Being Drawn In
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Killing/trying to kill perpetrator
Trying to stop the abuse
Hitting parent or siblings
Becoming physically abused
Being used as a spy
Being used as a confidante
Being coerced by perpetrator to
be abusive to mom
Effects of Abuse
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School problems
Social problems
Sexual activity
Shamed & embarrassed
Truancy
Super-achiever at school
Tendency to get serious
relationships too early to escape
home
 Depression
 Suicide
 Alcohol/drug use
 Confusion about gender roles
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Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html
Gender Specific Effects
Effects Specific to Boys
 Learning that males are violent
 Learning to disrespect women
 Using violence in his own
relationships
 Confusion or insecurity about
being a man
 Attacking parents or siblings
Effects Specific to Girls
 Learning that male violence is
normal
 Learning that women don't get
respect
 Accepting violence in her own
relationships
 Embarrassed about being female
 Becoming pregnant
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Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html
Domestic violence has an
impact on children
 Thinking constantly about the traumatic event.
 Having nightmares.
 Avoiding places, people, or activities that re-mind
them of the event.
 Losing interest in doing things that they liked
before.
 Feeling alone, empty, sad, anxious, or uncaring.
 Becoming irritable, angry, and easily startled.
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When children are exposed to
domestic violence, it shows…
 Behavioral, social, and emotional
problems
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higher levels of aggression, anger, hostility,
oppositional behavior, and disobedience; fear,
anxiety, withdrawal, and depression; poor peer,
sibling, and social relationships; low self-esteem.
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It hurts them…
 Cognitive and attitudinal problems
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lower cognitive functioning, poor school
performance, lack of conflict resolution skills,
limited problem-solving skills, acceptance of
violent behaviors and attitudes, belief in rigid
gender stereotypes and male privilege.
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…and can last a lifetime.
 Long-term problems
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higher levels of adult depression and trauma
symptoms, increased tolerance for and use of
violence in adult relationships
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Impact of Exposure
On Child Come Adult
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Difficulty with trust
Difficulty forming relationships
Anxiety / depression  Behaviour!
Shame, Embarrassment
Desensitization to violence and abuse
which may result in an inability in both
victim and perpetrator to assess risk.
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Domestic Violence
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Emotional and Psychological Abuse
as well as Power Imbalances…
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Child learns to hit…
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Child learns to tune out…
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SCREENING:
Primary Consideration
 SAFETY and INTEGRITY
1. The parties
2. Their children
3. The process
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Some Cases
Should NOT Even Be Considered:
Safety concerns discernable by:
 Ongoing violence
 Weapons offences
 Broken ground rules / restraining orders
 Substance/alcohol abuse
 Violent fantasies
 Stalking behaviour
 Coercion
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Negative Assumption
 In the presence of domestic violence and/or
power imbalances you should not engage in a
Collaborative process – unless you can
mitigate concerns...
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Typical policy of the abuser
and the abused…
Don’t ask… Don’t tell.
So, if you want to know, you must ask…
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Woman Abuse Screening Tool
 Development of the Woman Abuse
Screening Tool for use in family practice.
 Brown JB, Lent B, Brett PJ, Sas G, Pederson
LL.
 Department of Family Medicine, University
of Western Ontario, London, Canada.
 Fam Med. 1996 Jun;28(6):422-8.
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WAST and WAST-Short
 Woman Abuse Screening Tool:
 7-item questionnaire
 2-item questionnaire where these two
items alone are highly predictive of
domestic violence/abuse.
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WAST
WAST
• Woman Abuse Screening Tool
– Valid: significant difference (p<0.001)
– Appropriate
– Highly reliable: internal consistency (0.95)
– Sensitivity: first 2 questions
abused 91.7%
non-abused 100%
Development of the Woman Abuse screening Tool for use in family Practice, Brown.
JB et al Fam Med 1996;28(6):422-8
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WAST - Short
 1. In general how would you describe your
relationship ...
[]a lot of tension []some tension []no tension
 2. Do you and your partner work out arguments
with ...
[]great difficulty []some difficulty []no difficulty
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WAST - long version adds
1. Do arguments ever result in you feeling put
down or bad about yourself?
2. Do arguments ever result in hitting, kicking, or
pushing?
3. Do you ever feel frightened by what your
partner says or does?
4. Has your partner ever abused you physically?
5. Has your partner ever abused you emotionally?
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Making Sense of the Data
Analyze
Plan
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Analyzing Type of Violence
 Coercive controlling violence
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Domestic violence used to gain power and
control over an intimate partner
Based on: Joan B. Kelly and Michael P. Johnson, Differentiation Amongst Types of Intimate Partner Violence:
Research Update and Implications for Intervention, Family Court Review, Vol 46, No 3, July 2008, 476 - 499
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Power and Control Wheel
Developed by the Domestic Abuse
Intervention Project in Duluth, MN
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Analyzing Type of Violence
 Violent resistance
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Typically applied to woman who themselves
utilize violent behaviour as a means of selfdefense
Based on: Joan B. Kelly and Michael P. Johnson, Differentiation Amongst Types of Intimate Partner Violence:
Research Update and Implications for Intervention, Family Court Review, Vol 46, No 3, July 2008, 476 - 499
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Analyzing Type of Violence
 Situational Couple Violence or Interactive Violence
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Not a matter of one seeking to necessarily control the
other, but of situations where both may be limited in
terms of conflict resolution and problem solving skills, or
resort to violent behaviour to act out negative feelings.
Based on: Joan B. Kelly and Michael P. Johnson, Differentiation Amongst Types of Intimate Partner Violence:
Research Update and Implications for Intervention, Family Court Review, Vol 46, No 3, July 2008, 476 - 499
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Analyzing Type of Violence
 Separation Instigated Violence

This would appear in the context and distress of
the separation process and there would likely be
little or no history of prior violent acts. The
behaviour would appear “out of character”.
Based on: Joan B. Kelly and Michael P. Johnson, Differentiation Amongst Types of Intimate Partner Violence:
Research Update and Implications for Intervention, Family Court Review, Vol 46, No 3, July 2008, 476 - 499
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Analyzing Severity
Frequency
Duration
Intensity
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Assessing Risk
 Low Risk
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Persons in this category exhibit little to no
indicators of domestic violence or power
imbalances and would be deemed suitable
candidates for arbitration with no modifications
to the Collaborative process.
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Assessing Risk
 Moderate Risk - Level 1
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Persons in this category would be subject to some issues regarding
power imbalances. It may be that one party is overwhelmed and/or
suffers a mental condition that could somewhat interfere with
judgment and/or feels the need to acquiesce on matters to bring
about a resolution to tension and/or has been systematically excluded
or manipulated from receiving information or input with regard to
facilitating decision making between the parties on matters of mutual
concern. Persons in this category may benefit from personal
counselling or coaching to address these issues in the Collaborative
context. There would be no concern for physical safety.
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Assessing Risk
 Moderate Risk - Level 2

Persons in this category would be subject to minor forms of violence
such as yelling/screaming, pushing, throwing of light objects not
aimed at or in direction of another person, slamming of doors. There
has been no physical harm and such behaviours may be one or both
sided. The purpose of such behaviour may or may not be directed
towards intimidation, as much as an expression of frustration or
inter-personal conflict. None-the-less, children may be exposed to
such behaviour, which may be frightening and upsetting. The risk of
physical harm is low, but possible, even if accidentally.
Modifications may be necessary to ensure safety as well as integrity
to the Collaborative process.
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Assessing Risk
 High Risk

Persons in this category are subject to violence and power imbalances in
the context of their intimate relationship. Violence may take the form of
hitting; pushing; blocking exits; intimidation through threats of violence
to self or other; and/or withholding access to necessary resources.
Behaviours are directed to control the behaviour of the intimate partner.
While the violence may not be dangerous in terms of resulting in serious
injury or death, it and/or acts of intimidation and/or control induce fear,
thus undermining the ability of a participant to contribute fully in the
Collaborative process. There are safety concerns for persons in this
category and for service to proceed, safeguards are required to maintain
the safety of parties and the integrity of the Collaborative process.
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Assessing Risk
 Extreme Risk
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Persons in this category would be subject to serious acts
of violence that could easily result in serious injury or
death. It is unlikely that sufficient safeguards could be
erected to provide for the safety of a participant or the
integrity of the Collaborative process. In circumstances
such as these, service is contra-indicated.
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Safety and Safety Planning
 Is your client safe now?
 In the presence of data suggesting or
demonstrating domestic violence or power
imbalances, how would you rate it and what
safeguards could be put in place to maintain
the integrity of the Collaborative process
given your rating?
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Not safe now?
 Advise not to return home unescorted.
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Escort may include police.
 Seek residence elsewhere until safety
concerns have been addressed.
 Refer to nearest women’s shelter.
 Just call police.
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Safety Planning for the
Collaborative Process
1. Counselling and/or coaching prior to attendance
2. Clear enunciation of “Rules of Conduct” for
behaviour during meetings and clear enforcement
3. At least one party to be escorted to and from the
meetings
4. Separate arrival and departure times with alleged
abuser arriving first and leaving second
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Safety Planning for the
Collaborative Process
5. Parties are not to be left unattended together
6. Parties are required to have separate residences
prior to engaging in process
7. No contact rule outside of process
8. Parties are required to arrive sober with no trace
of alcohol on breath otherwise meeting cancelled
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Mental Health Professional
 Many of the concerns regarding screening for
domestic violence and power imbalances and issues
arising from screening can be mitigated with the
use of a mental health professional whose training
and experience includes matters therein.
 The mental health professional can not only screen,
but can act as Facilitator in the Collaborative
process.
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Proposed Process
 As per the Regulations of the Arbitration Act
of Ontario, parties to a family arbitration
must be screened by a trained third party and
the arbitrator has seen and reviewed the
screening report.
 A similar process can be adapted for
Collaborative Practice.
 Ethical issues???
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Better outcomes require
addressing issues…
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Recap - Objectives
 You will learn:
 Definitions of domestic violence and power
imbalances
 The impact on children and adults.
 Strategies to identify domestic violence and
power imbalances
 Strategies to advance the Collaborative
process in light of such findings.
www.yoursocialworker.com
“THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM”
A Workshop on
Domestic Violence and
Power Imbalances in the
Collaborative Process
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Presenter
www.yoursocialworker.com