Transcript Writing Effective Endings

Writing Effective
Conclusions
Goal:
To understand the essential elements
of a conclusion.
BACK TO THE FUTURE!
Writers must look to the future….and know where
to find BOTH the front and the back of the train!
Four Ways to Conclude
1. Touch back
2. Look to the future
3. Go to the heart
4. End with a zinger!
The “Touch back” conclusion
• Physical representation: Reach your hand
over your shoulder, pat your back.
DEFINITION:
Touching back to the main idea of the essay
as stated in the thesis paragraph.
“Look to the Future” conclusion
• Physical Representation: Hold your hand up
to your forehead to demonstrate the
importance of looking to the future.
Go to the Heart of the Matter
Conclusion
• Physical representation: hit your heart with
your fist to signify the importance of going
to the heart of the matter.
• Think: WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT
ALL MAKE? WHY SHOULD THE
READER CARE?
End with a Zinger
Conclusion
• Physical Representation: Pull back your arm
like you are about to let go of a sling shot.
This is the “zinger” or final statement that
leaves the reader thinking, “WOW!”
• Think: how can I surprise my reader?
Let’s Have Some Fun
• Join in now and gesture with your teachers
as they shout, “Touch back; look to the
future; go to the heart and end with a
zinger.”
• Come up in groups of 4 and let’s see how
fast you can touch back, look to the future,
go to the heart and end with a zinger.
Your conclusion is very important.
It gives you a chance to:
• remind your reader of your main idea or
opinion.
• give the essay a sense of completeness.
• leave a lasting impression with the reader.
Trent Lorcher Examples continued….
• Drawstring: I glanced over and noticed Franklin
had a smirk on his face. He had done the same
thing during a shark attack in New Zealand. We
have held a secret respect for each other ever
since.
• Surprise: I opened the newspaper and read "Mass
murderer eaten by shark." I couldn't believe that
12-year-old was a mass murderer. It looks like I'm
a hero.
End with a Quotation: Remember, "You don't
have to be faster than the shark; you just have to
beExamples
faster than the person
are swimming
fromyou
Trent
Lorcher
with."
• A lesson learned: I guess I should have listened to my
Mom when she said, "don't smear blood on your legs and
swim with sharks"
• Action: As the shark came closer, I corralled the obese adolescent,
shoved him in the predator's path, and swam like heck to safety!
• Dialogue: The angry parent cornered me and yelled, "You killed my
son." I responded, "no ma'am, that shark killed your son."
• Emotion: The horrified parents looked on as the shark chewed their
son's knee cartilage. I drove away, relieved that it wasn't me.
Tips on Writing Conclusions
• Last movie lines provide great ideas of how
to end without leaving the audience
hanging.
– “Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard?” Chip, Beauty and the Beast
– “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” Dr. Emmett Brown,
Back to the Future
- Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: ‘With
great power comes great responsibility.’ This is my gift, my curse. Who
am I? I’m spider-man.” Peter Parker, Spiderman
Synthesize, don't summarize
• Include a brief summary of the paper's main
points, but don't simply repeat things that
were in your paper. Instead, show your
reader how the points you made and the
support and examples you used fit together.
Pull it all together.
One of the first things a reader
remembers after having read a piece of
writing is the last words the writer uses.
Effective conclusions are particularly
important in persuasive essays since they
are the last chance the writer has to
convince the reader. The following is a
collection of suggestions for writing
effective conclusions.
1. Use a summary statement rather than phrases like the
following: "In summary...," "To conclude...," "To
summarize...," or "In closing...." These are too obvious and
vague to be effective. Use a transitional phrase which
summarizes a point in your essay instead. A sample
summary statement is as follows: "As we have seen,
poverty is a known contributor to crime; therefore, it
should not be discounted when considering ways to
prevent crime.
2. Use a quotation, such as "As a man thinks, so is he," when
your paper has just explained how negative thinking has
created problems for someone.
3. Refer to the story or character used in the introduction,
such as "So don't be like Sally, be informed."
Continued
4. Use a cleverly crafted generalization, such as "Poverty is
not a great issue, if everyone is poor."
5. Express your hopes as you look to the future. "We
can only hope that people in our society will become less
self-centered, and become more involved in helping
others." Or "We have some poverty programs, which are of
great value, but in ten years the problem will still remain,
unless we change our attitudes."
Persuasive essays should include one of the
following:
• Issue a call for action, such as "Now that we
have seen how poverty contributes to crime, give
the local representatives a call to learn how to help
combat poverty."
• Use a question and a call for action together.
Example: "Why do we continue to ignore the
poverty situation in America? One can help, so get
involved."
So What?
• Answer the question "So What?" Show
your readers why this paper was important.
Show them that your paper was meaningful
and useful.
Redirect your readers
• Give your reader something to think about,
perhaps a way to use your paper in the
"real" world. If your introduction went from
general to specific, make your conclusion
go from specific to general. Think globally.
Create a new meaning
• You don't have to give new information to
create a new meaning. By demonstrating
how your ideas work together, you can
create a new picture. Often the sum of the
paper is worth more than its parts.
Echoing the introduction:
Echoing your introduction can be a good strategy if it is meant to bring the
reader full-circle. If you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with
the same scenario as proof that your essay was helpful in creating a new
understanding.
Introduction
• From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom
standing stately against the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose
even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds of Adventureland. As I
entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an oldfashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced.
Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.
Conclusion
• I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing
time, leaving the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind
me. I could see tired children, toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as
best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the parking lot tram
that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit sad to think
that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to
my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.
Looking to the Future…
• Looking to the future: Looking to the future can
emphasize the importance of your paper or redirect the
readers' thought process. It may help them apply the new
information to their lives or see things more globally.
Example
• Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more
than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying careers
continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there
will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the teachers
available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth
will suffer. And when youth suffers, the future suffers.
• Thesis Statement: San Francisco is a
stimulating place to visit because of its
magnificent location, its theaters and art
galleries, and its many fine restaurants.
• Summary Statement: If you love beautiful
surroundings, world class theater and art,
and an exquisite meal, then San Francisco is
the place for you.
The Clincher
• The clincher, also referred to as the closer,
is your last opportunity to connect with the
reader. One way to make the most of this
moment is to return to the technique you
used for your grabber.
Clincher:
Make a recommendation.
• People of all ages can learn about nature, cooking,
health, history and science, to just name a few
subjects, from the comfort of their own homes
while watching television. Instead of
automatically turning off the television, it might
be worth your while to occasionally sit down with
your family and watch some of the fascinating and
educational programming currently available on
your television set.
Clincher:
Asking the rhetorical question
It is amazing to consider how much we
rely on underground aquifers to supply our
drinking water. Knowing this, can we
possibly justify the continued pollution of
our main source of fresh water?
Clincher: rhetorical question
“These three important information tools
of communication – the cell phone, the
personal computer, and the U.S. mail,
are an ever present force in our lives.
Many people can not imagine life before
they arrived. Even with their various
drawbacks, can you imagine your life
without them? “
Clincher: end with a quotation.
INTRODUCTION:
H. L. Mencken defined “Puritanism” as “the haunting fear that someone
somewhere, may be happy.” The clerks at the Department of Motor Vehicles
must be Puritans. They seem to do their best to see that each person who comes in
to get a license or registration, has to wind through a confusing maze of lines,
must wait an eternity for help, and has to remain standing the entire time.
CONCLUSION:
I have learned to never go to the DMV without a book, a comfortable pair of
shoes, and a lot of patience. Maybe I will become a better person as I
navigate the labyrinth that is the Department of Motor Vehicles. After all, as
the philosopher Johann von Schiller once said, “ Only those who have the
patience to do the simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult
things easily.”
Clincher: end with a quotation.
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH:
Never do yourself what you can afford to pay someone else to
do." That is a motto my brother lives by. Had I lived by it, too, I
could have saved myself a large expense, much griminess, and a
painful injury to my hand the last time I tried to fix a leaking toilet.
CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH:
There was one important lesson that I did learn as I tried
unsuccessfully to repair our leaky toilet. As a wise
homeowner once said, “Knowing your limitations is the
first step in overcoming them.”
Clincher: end with a quotation.
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH:
Writer Dave Gentry once said, "True friendship comes when silence between
two people is comfortable." I know exactly what Mr. Gentry means. My best
friend, Elizabeth Reynolds, and I, can talk on the phone for hours or we can sit
together in the mountains or at the beach and just enjoy the silence. Since she's
been my best friend for twenty-five years, we're able to connect in many ways.
CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH:
I feel very fortunate to have been friends with Elizabeth all
these years; no one knows me or understands me as well as
she does. So I try to keep it in my heart what Thomas
Fuller said: “If you have one true friend , you have more
than your share comes to.”
Clincher: end with a quotation.
Here's an example of a concluding paragraph for the
"favorite pet" essay that uses a quotation as the clincher:
“Nothing can compare to a dog’s dedication, intelligence,
and friendship. Because a dog offers all these wonderful
qualities, and more, I realize once again
why people say that,
“a dog is man’s best friend.”
I would feel fortunate to have a dog
as an animal companion.”
Clincher: End with a personal anecdote.
The young man with the hammer hoisted himself
onto the top of the wall. All around him on the
wall and on the ground, people chanted and
cheered. The young man knelt down, with his
hammer, and began to chip at the cold, gray
concrete. Little by little, the wall began to
crumble. As I watched in amazement, it was
hard to comprehend the fact that I was
watching the Berlin Wall coming down.
Clincher – using description to end.
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH :
For anyone fortunate enough to have a wood-burning fireplace,
sitting in front of a healthy fire on a frosty winter afternoon
provides a sense of comfort and luxury. Unfortunately, many
fireplace owners do not understand the three essential steps for
achieving a successful fire. Everyone should learn the basics of
preparing the fireplace, arranging the materials before igniting,
and tending the fire.
CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH:
It is easy to take the three simple steps to safe and successful fire
preparation. And then, when you are finished, you can pull up
that easy chair, read your favorite book, and feel the warmth and
satisfaction that comes from sitting in front of a well-tended fire.
Clincher – using description to end.
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH:
Its left ear is partially detached. One of its black plastic eyes is
gone. Parts of its fur is worn and matted from being hugged and
tugged around the house. Food and juice stains dapple its tan coat
in places. Some people might think this little stuffed bunny should
be thrown into the junk heap. But this old bunny is one of my
favorite childhood possessions, and we've been through a lot
together.
CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH:
Even though people might think I am crazy for being so attached to
an old toy, I can’t imagine what I would do without Mr. Softie.
Every torn stitch, every missing piece, every worn spot brings back
a childhood memory that I will cherish forever.
Immature Endings to Avoid!
• Beginning with an unnecessary, overused
phrase such as "in conclusion," "in
summary," or "in closing." Although these
phrases can work in speeches, they come
across as wooden and trite in writing.
Immature Endings to Avoid!
• “That’s all folks!”
• Do not write, “The End.”
• Do not just repeat your main idea and three reasons. The reader
has already read your paper. Show them how your reasons fit
together to prove your main point.
• Do not just leave the reader hanging. Have you ever watched a
movie or T.V. show that just suddenly ended? You want the
reader to have a sense of closure at the end.
Let’s Fix It Up!
• The next few slides have conclusions
clearly lacking one or more of the elements.
Work with a partner to identify the
weaknesses and rewrite the conclusions.
Fix Me Up
“I think athletes should get paid for playing sports at any school. They
work too hard to not get paid. College athletes get paid, why can’t high
school athletes? Schools that have sports should pay their athletes.
You can get more and have more if you pay. Nothing is always free. I
want to know why high school athletes do not get paid. You will have
a great team if you are willing to work and be a good team together.
High school sports is for training for the real world and in the real world
athletes are paid for playing sports. I believe that if school athletes are
paid, they will do a better job. I mean they will be trying harder. If they
are getting paid, they won’t have to get an extra job to pay for things
they need; and they will have more time to practice their sport.
Well that’s my story about high school sports.
Fix Me Up
• “Good work habits make people get jobs
easier and keep their jobs. If you have good
work habits there is a low possibility of you
being fired.”