Academic Administrators Leadership Series – Managing Conflict

Chris Loschiavo, JD Associate Dean of Students and Director of Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution

Overview

• • • • • •

Background of SCCR Types of Conflict We Deal with The definition of “Conflict” Different styles of conflict Tools for conflict resolution Conflict Resolution options at UF and in the community

Background and experiences

• • • •

Education My job Certified mediator Expanding conflict resolution options at UF

SCCR

• • • • •

2300 cases ranging from underage drinking, drugs, theft, physical assault, sexual assault, honor code, etc.

2.5% recidivism rate 444 honor code charges 98% either admitted responsibility or were found responsible in honor code cases 2% appeal rate

Activity

Words that come to mind when you hear the word conflict.

Reframing Negative Mindsets

Conflict is …

Rewarding Stimulating Positive Change Helpful Constructive Collaborative Inevitable Opportunity Creative Enriching Unifying Vital Healthy Growth Win/Win Learning Exciting Productive

Honor Code Procedures

• • • • • Gather documentation of academic misconduct. Please provide as much detailed information as possible.

Call Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution (392-1261) to determine if student has a prior violation which would require the student to have a hearing.

– If the student has a prior, you will automatically forward the case and any evidence along with an explanation of the case to Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution. – If there are no priors that would require a hearing, you will proceed to meet with the student. Additionally, you can receive advice on how to confront the student regarding the incident.

Schedule a meeting with the student to discuss allegations. You may choose to have your supervisor in the room with you when meeting with the student.

Share with the student all information related to the academic miconduct.

Thoroughly complete Faculty/Student Resolution Form

Honor Code Procedures (continued)

• • • • • • • After discussion, have the student select one of the three resolution options and then sign the form.

Give a copy of the completed form to student.

Forward Faculty/Student Resolution Form and the original documents to the Dean of Students Office whether the student agrees with the outcome or not.

If the student disagrees with the allegation(s) brought forth, he/she will have an informational meeting with Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution and a hearing with the Student Conduct Committee will be scheduled.

Faculty will be asked to attend the hearing.

Follow up letters referencing the outcome will be sent to the student and faculty member via email.

If the student is found responsible for academic misconduct, the faculty member needs to submit the appropriate grade at the end of the semester to reflect the grade penalty. (In the meantime, give the student an “I” until the matter is resolved.)

Tips for Confronting Students Regarding Honor Code Violations

• • • Present all the facts/reasons for your suspicions. We aren’t interested in hiding anything from the student.

Listen to what the student has to say. Have an educational conversation with them regarding your concerns and the reasons why we are concerned with academic dishonesty.

Avoid the temptation to threaten the student with more serious consequences if they don’t accept responsibility. If they want a hearing, that is a right that they have as a student.

Tips (continued)

• • • Try not to take the behavior personally. Most students don’t realize how much faculty are affected by their conduct. Explain to them how the conduct effects you.

Allow the student to have an advisor present if he/she wishes. The advisor cannot speak for the student, however.

Remember that sometimes these incidents occur because they are a cry for help. The student may be dealing with other issues outside the classroom and he/she acted out of desperation. Certainly, other times it is just a student taking a short-cut.

•

Conflict is…

Conflict is an

inevitable

part of every relationship of value.

• Conflict can be resolved so that both parties feel they have “won” and without the need for someone to “lose.” • Conflict signals a need for change/evolution in a relationship.

• Conflict can be a

healthy

and

enriching

experience, strengthening rather than weakening relationships.

• Conflict can be

positive

and

productive

, providing opportunities for

learning

and

mutual understanding

.

Perceptions, Assumptions and Values

• Perceptions: the individual frames of reference in which we view the world • Assumptions: a guess or conclusion based on perceptions • Values: individual beliefs that we regard highly

Breaking Down Conflict

• Perceptions, assumptions and values are highly regarded individual beliefs • They are also self imposed barriers to communication that can often inhibit resolution of conflict • To resolve conflict effectively, it helps to consider how our perceptions, assumptions and values are expressed. The three primary components expressed in conflict are:

Positions, Interests and Needs

The PIN Model of Conflict

P OSITIONS

: What we state we want

I NTERESTS

: What we really want

N EEDS

: What we must have

The PIN Model

Consider …

Amy and Latrice share an off-campus apartment. Latrice is upset because Amy had a party without telling her and damaged Latrice’s sofa, staining the cushions with food and drinks. Latrice is demanding that Amy pay $600 for a new sofa and that she no longer use any of her belongings, including furniture.

Positions (Tip of the Iceberg) What we state we want

“You and your friends have no respect for others.” “Quit using my stuff.” “Give me $600 by the end of next week.”

Interests (Just under waterline) What we really want

“I want the cushions cleaned.” “I want you to be more careful when people are over.” “Let me know when you are having people over.” “Please show me some respect.”

Needs (Deep under surface) What we must have

“I need to be able to trust my roommate.” “I need to feel respected.” “I need to not have to worry about my stuff when going away for a weekend.”

Anger Iceberg

•

How is anger expressed in the world?

•

What might the underlying causes be for this expression of anger/violence?

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

•

The role of Unmet needs in driving conflict

All Violence/Anger Is An Expression Of An Unmet Need

•

How Recognizing Interests/Needs Support Positive Outcomes (Empathy)

•

CHAMPPP Universal Needs Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

CHAMPPP

• • • • • •

• CONNECTION HONESTY AUTOMOMY MEANING PEACE PHYSICAL WELLBEING PLAY Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

CONNECTION

• • • • • • • •

ACCEPTANCE APPRECIATION BELONGING LOVE NURTURING RESPECT COMMUNICATION CLOSENESS CONSIDERATION EMPATHY SAFETY STABILITY SUPPORT UNDERSTOOD INCLUSION TRUST Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

HONESTY

• • •

AUTHENTICITY INTEGRITY PRESENCE Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

AUTONOMY

• • • • •

CHOICE FREEDOM INDEPENDENCE SPACE SPONTANEITY Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

MEANING

• • • • • • • •

AWARENESS CHALLENGE CLARITY MOURNING PURPOSE SELF EXPRESSION CREATIVITY DISCOVERY GROWTH HOPE LEARNING TO MATTER UNDERSTANDING Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

• • • • • • •

BEAUTY COMMUNION EASE EQUALITY HARMONY INSPIRATION ORDER

PEACE

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

• • • • • •

AIR FOOD WATER MOVEMENT REST SEXUAL EXPRESSION SAFETY SHELTER TOUCH Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

• •

JOY HUMOR

PLAY

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

Conflict Styles

• • • • •

AVOIDANCE ACCOMMODATION COMPETITION COMPROMISE COLLABORATION Everyone has a default style

Avoidance

“Passive Aggressive”

• • • •

Strategies: Ignoring Denial

the conflict

When to Practice:

• When issue or

relationship is unimportant

of the conflict Evasion of the conflict Joking about the conflict • • • When there is no chance of a positive outcome

When risks of confrontation outweigh benefits of resolution

When other party has greater power • When one or more parties needs time to “cool down” • • When it is appropriate to let others resolve conflict

When you’re wrong

Avoidance

• • • • • •

Disadvantages:

Decisions made by default/without input

Issues likely to remain unresolved

Loss of influence in a situation or relationship Leads to self-doubt and loss of self-esteem May be unable to deal with conflicts in the future

Demonstrates a lack of caring/investment/credibility

Accommodation

“The ‘YES” Person” or “People Pleasers”

• • •

Strategies: Giving in

or

giving up

Denying one’s own needs

Placing harmony over issues

• • • • • •

When to Practice: When one is wrong/other is right; wrong person acknowledges and can give in

When there is a desire for harmony in the relationship

When relationship is more important than the dispute

When losses can be minimized When party needs to “save face”

When one wants leverage for future conflict

Accommodation

• • • • • • • •

Disadvantages:

Requires party to give something up

Issues likely to remain unresolved

Does not generate creative solutions

Can cause frustration and/or resentment when someone accommodates and places harmony over resolution

Creates a loss of influence in situation/relationship Can damage relationships Can foster competition over “niceness”

Loss of credibility

• • • • •

Competition

Type “A” Personality

•

Strategies: Hostile

remarks or jokes Threats and/or coercion Denial of own responsibility

Verbal arguments

Physical altercations Covert actions • • • • • • •

When to Practice: When immediate and decisive action is necessary

When the style will be rewarded When there is no relationship of value

When the issue is more important than the relationship

Where a party needs to prove commitment/strength When total victory is desired When competing can bring parties together/make both better

Competition

• • • • • • •

Disadvantages: Strains/damages relationships

Requires that one/both/all be “losers” in conflict

Conflict may escalate

Less likely to use constructive approaches later May encourage covert actions Can lead to stalemates

Creates resentment and/or desire for revenge

Compromise

• • • •

Strategies:

Both parties give and take to find a “

middle ground

Offer a ”

short-term resolution

for “peace-keeping” Appeals to fair play/fairness

Each person “gives” a little

; so each person “looses” a little, too • • • •

When to Practice:

When a temporary solution is needed When parties are of equal power

When parties wish to save time and energy

When doing so “ all parties

seems fair

” to

Compromise

• • • • • •

Disadvantages:

Often leaves

underlying issues unresolved

Issue may become a recurring problem

Parties required to give something up

One/both/all parties may not be completely satisfied Becomes an easy way out of creative conflict resolution Leads to “position padding”

Not getting beneath the water of the PIN iceberg!

• • • • • • •

Strategies:

Collaboration

When to Practice: Open and honest dialogue

that is positive and constructive

Willingness to listen to another view

Emotions dealt with properly

Seeking input from other party

• • •

When the relationship is important

When a

mutually satisfying

outcome is sought When

both views/sides are too important to compromise Willingness to accept responsibility for actions

• When underlying issues need to be addressed Giving ground without “giving in” (reason v. compromise) Instead of both “giving in” a little, you

come up with a different solution

• • When one wants to avoid destructive means for handling conflict When new and creative solutions are desired

Collaboration

• • • •

Disadvantages: Takes more time and energy

Requires both parties to be

committed

to the process Makes a party appear unreasonable if he/she later decides against collaboration A collaborative party may appear weak to an aggressive party

Conflict Resolution Tools for YOU

Engaging in Healthy Dialogue

• • • • •

Active & Reflective Listening Being Attentive Summarizing & Restating Reframing You / I Statements

Listening

Active Listening

• Paying Attention • Listen with an open mind

Reflective Listening

• Demonstrate Empathy • Signals understanding • Non-verbals: nodding, eye contact • Verbals: rephrasing and reframing

Attending

• • • • •

BODY POSTURE EYE CONTACT NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS PAYING ATTENTION AVOID NERVOUS BEHAVIORS

Summarizing/Restating

• •

Ability to reflect information back to someone in your own words.

Confirms to the speaker that you were listening to them

Restating

Question Prefaces: • • • • So you are saying that… In other words… It sounds like you...

I’ve heard you say that…

Summarizing/Restating

Example: Student #1: I am teaching six classes this semester

and I don’t have a lot of time.

Student #2:You are saying that you are very busy

because of your heavy course load.

• • • •

Reframing

To reinterpret a statement or comment into a problem-solving frame. Restate what is said Remove negative language

Reframe the discussion from positions to interests

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

Reframing

Using reframing to deescalate:

•

Faculty #1: You’re a liar. You said you would give me

the opportunity to run this clinical experience.

•

Department Chair #2 :It sounds like you are angry

because you felt you were promised the opportunity to teach this clinical experience

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

Reframe this statement

How would you reframe this to state an interest?

•

“He’s a liar. Every time he promises to do something he has broken that promise. I can’t trust him.”

Reframe this statement

How would you reframe this to state an interest?

•

“John is a jerk. He always disagrees with me. Every time I make a suggestion he criticizes it.”

Practice Active Listening and Reframing

(content and feelings)

Active listening activity • Get with a partner. For 1 minute, one of you describe a conflict that is going on in your department. The second person, should display poor active listening skills (interrupt and offer suggestions, don’t pay attention). Then we will switch.

• For 1 minute, the next person will describe a conflict in their department. The second person should be listening and should engage in active listening and reframing.

“I” vs “You” Statements

• Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. • For instance, say “ saying in our departmental staff meeting," instead of, “You are

disrespectful of me!"

I feel

angry when you interrupt what I am

• To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.

“I” vs “You” Statements

•

“You” statements tend to attack and/or place blame

“You never show any concern for my feelings!”

•

“I” statements tend to have the speaker assume responsibility for her or his feelings.

“

I feel

angry when you talk with Sally instead of listening to what I have to say in our staff meetings.”

“I” vs “You” Statements

How could you re-word this?

•

“You really tick me off when you dominate conversations.”

Poisons in Communication

Some words and phrases are more likely to be perceived as rude, abrasive, or insulting, and make it easier for the listener to act in a defensive or retaliatory manner. These are considered poisons in communication and offer a good opportunity for reframing or questioning.

Poisons in Communication

Commands Comparisons

• • • • •

You should… You shouldn’t… You will… You can’t… You must… • You’re just like… • You’re nothing like… • She would never… • If I were you I’d …

Poisons in Communication

• • • • • • •

Exaggerations

Always Never Constantly Everybody Nobody Six times = two Weeks = days

Other Poisons

• Shaming • Ignoring • Name-calling • Threatening • Blaming • Contempt • Anger

Anger

• • •

Anger is: A physical or psychological defense against something A response to not getting what we want A response to our belief that we are being violated in some way

• • • • • •

Managing Anger

Check your own emotions and don’t get angry Acknowledge the anger (Validate) Restate / Reframe Questions Take a Break Move on to something else

Empathy

An unwavering presence that enables a deep and meaningful connection with another person. Reflecting another’s feelings, interests and needs without any judgment or evaluation.

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

The ladder of inference

•

See handouts Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

What power dynamics are present in your department?

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

Some dynamics to think about

• • • • • •

Department Chair and faculty Tenured faculty and non-tenured Adjuncts Faculty and staff Faculty and students others/?

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

Scenario

•

You are the Department Chair and there is a conflict in your department regarding services provided by your administrative support staff. Some of your faculty feel as though one of their colleagues is monopolizing her time and they have come to you. They are angry because they feel as though they don’t have the same support as this other faculty member. What would you do?

Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt

UF Conflict Resolution Options

• • •

What we currently offer and how it is accessed Mediation demonstration (video) http://www.dso.ufl.edu/sccr/video/mediation.mpg

Where we are headed

Questions?

Contact us

• • • • • • • Associate Dean and Director: Chris Loschiavo [email protected]

Associate Director: Laura Matthews: [email protected]

Asst. Director: Matthew Scruggs [email protected]

Asst. Director: Ashleigh Wade [email protected]

Program Asst.: Keondra Brown [email protected]

Graduate Assistants: Mick Early and Christine Natal Undergraduate Case Coordinators: Jasmin Tahirovic, Alexa Jacobson, Kaitlyn Hargrove Taken from "The Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects." Schirch and Campt