Transcript Are you Professional !! A Good Parent..
You Professional !! Are you a Good Parent?...
Dr. SHAVINDRA R.DIAS
MBBS,MD Psych.(colombo) Dip in Psychol.,BA(Oxon UK) Senior Lecturer in Psychiatry Department of Psychiatry Faculty of Medicine University of Peradeniya Kandy, Sri Lanka
What kind of a parent are you???
• Being a parent is a wonderful thing..
• However, it’s not always easy..
• We want our children to behave well, and to: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ have respect for themselves and others; be polite to others; know how to behave in different situations; be able to concentrate and pay attention; share and to take turns; know how to win and how to lose;
• But children often behave quite differently, and we may feel annoyed, frustrated and embarrassed.
• Parents of teenage children or children with a disability may face additional challenges and pressures.
Parenting Styles
Parent Child
Authoritarian Style
– – – – – – Not involved or responsive, but set strict limits Expect children to follow strict rules Does not explain why rules should be obeyed Punish children who disobey rules Are controlling/power-oriented Use verbal threats or spanking Children lack social competence Mental illness and abuse Obedient Proficient (Good at what they do) May view parent as enemy May be confused about what is right/wrong Have levels happiness & self-esteem
Parent Child
Permissive Style
– – – – – – Very involved and responsive, but don’t set limits Has no firm rules, lenient Accepts child as he/she is Disciplines through love, praise and affection Communicates and nurtures child Acts more like a friend than parent Dependent Irresponsible / Lacks self-control Immature Experiences problems with authority Experiences problems in school (i.e. completing projects)
Parent Child
Neglectful Style
– – – – Makes few demands Low responsiveness to child Detached from child, but fulfills his/her basic needs In extreme cases parents REJECT or NEGLECT needs of child Children not well adjusted; resentful Feel neglected / abandoned, have self-esteem Lack self-control
Parent Child
Authoritative Style
– – – – – – Very involved and responsive, but set limits Supportive of child’s decisions Child centered; foster independence Guides and shows by example Willing to discuss choices they or their child makes and the reasoning behind these choices Disciplinary methods are nurturing & forgiving Well adjusted children Good decision makers Independent, but seek help when needed Happy Capable Successful
High
Parenting Styles
Demandingness (control)
High Low Authoritative Permissive Low Authoritarian Neglectful
You can be a good parent…
Tip 1: Talk and Listen
• Talking and listening to your child helps them to understand what’s going on.
• Do not expect the near impossible; be understanding.
Tip 2: Understand Changes As They Grow
• • • Exploring: Independence: Encouragement • Consider the age of child. Use age-appropriate methods
Tip 3: Set Boundaries
• • • • • Set Reasonable limits; do not set them too high or too low Children need clear rules, boundaries and routine.
Word the instructions positively.
Be consistent.
If you make promises keep them. Be true to your word.
Tip 4: Reward and Notice Good Behaviour
• • Rewards do not have to be material things.
Real praise and encouragement is the best reward as it can boost a child and build self esteem and confidence
Tip 5: Build Self Confidence
• Help them to try out new things, make friends and cope with the upsets and problems they meet as they grow up.
Tip 6: Have Realistic Expectations and Allow Consequences
• • Children are children.
They will be messy, noisy and, at times, disobedient.
• Give them the freedom to make mistakes.
• Encourage your child to think for themselves and take responsibility for their actions.
• Let the children know the consequences of their behaviour
Tip 7: When Things Are Getting Difficult
• Stay calm.
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• Think practically about the applicability of disciplinary actions, and let children know that you are serious.
• Flexibility is fine – life can be chaotic and having a flexible approach will help your children learn to do the same.
• • • Do not punish accidents.
Give a second chance. Let bygones be bygones.
Remember
• All children are unique.
• The most important thing is that your child feels loved and happy even when sometimes things are difficult