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Innovative Approaches for Treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Acute Trauma and Disorganized Attachment IVAT, September 2009 Mark Schwartz, Sc.D. and Lori Galperin, MSW, LCSW Castlewood Treatment Center for Eating Disorders 800 Holland Road 636-386-6611 www.castlewoodtc.com 1 2 INTRODUCTION 3 HOW IS RECOVERY MEASURED? Recovery is not just the absence of symptoms…it is the presence of a full life as evidenced by the ability to be human. A truly recovered life will reflect spontaneity, freedom, the ability to breathe, to have wants, needs and desires, knowing that the quest for perfection is an unattainable illusion. Having the ability to embrace the feminine, having close intimate relationships, and it is being aware of the tears in your eyes (whether out of intense or subtle sadness – or out of the joy – or from a flicker of utter gratefulness) and then to allow your tears to flow freely. It is a life in which decisions and choices are made more from self and less from a shame and fear based prison. It is a life where you fully experience pleasure, joy and passion and believe and know it is good to desire and enjoy sex… (Theresa Chesnut, 2002) 4 UGLY NEEDS, UGLY ME A defensive parent’s own limitations can also translate into shame for the child… She perceives her little girl as overly demanding and repeatedly scolds her for being selfish. The child comes to believe that she is selfish and despises herself for it. Her natural self-assertion is compromised as she comes to feel that she should not take, should not ask, should not calculate in her own behalf, for any of these things may exhibit the hatred quality. What’s more, she finds that if she is restrained and solicitous, her mother likes and approves of her. Nevertheless, her unmet needs keep rising to the surface and she acts them out in ways that cause renewed displeasure in her mother and renewed self-hate in herself. As she gets older, the girl compensates for her supposed defect with rigid displays of generosity. She remembers everyone’s birthday, she’s always ready with a compliment, she seems content to settle for second best. No one must ever know what she truly is; no one must ever see that clawlike third hand reaching out of pocket with “Selfish!” written all over it. Becoming Attached, Robert Karen, Ph.D., Oxford University Press, 1998. 5 UGLY NEEDS, UGLY ME, CONT. Because this inner dynamic proceeds largely outside of awareness, the shame image often persists into adulthood in a strangely unevolved form. If not understood or worked through, it retains the terrible charge of parental rejection. The girl becomes a young woman who unconsciously believes not just that she suffers from a troubling flaw, but that she is revolting and untouchable and that her selfishness is a deformity that makes her unfit to live among other human beings. People differ in the degree to which they defend against shame. Some obsessively avoid it by restricting their lives and narrowing their consciousness. Through an addictive or compulsively busy lifestyle, unwanted selfimages can be kept from impinging upon awareness. Others are more aware of their shame and tormented by it, sometimes to the point of depression. Perhaps the best evidence that these two styles of living with shame are associated with avoidant and ambivalent attachment comes from a study of six-year-olds by Jude Cassidy. Cassidy found that securely attached children have a strong feeling of self-worth and competence, but when pushed were able to acknowledge imperfections. In other words, they seemed to be neither tormented by shame nor rigidly defending against it. Avoidant children, in contrast, persistently portrayed themselves as perfect and refused to admit to any shortcoming; while the low self-worth of ambivalent children was prominent and undisguised. This study suggests that from an early age quality of attachment may be connected not only with the degree of shame formation but with the development of fundamental dysfunctional personality styles. Becoming Attached, Robert Karen, Ph.D., Oxford University Press, 1998. 6 Each mother can only react empathically to the extent that she has become free of her own childhood, and she is forced to react without empathy to the extent that, by denying the vicissitudes of her early life, she wears invisible chains. (Alice Miller) 7 CREATION OF THE PUNITIVE FALSE SELF Parent ignores the emotional attunement with the emerging self in order to mold them into objects. Infant’s needs met with inconsistent and unreliable attunement, develops a self as unworthy of attention and incapable of influencing other who care. Parent intrusively over involved creating false self based upon compliance and externally imposed standards. 8 FAILED PROTECTORS Where part got the idea that it had to coerce and shame her into dieting, working, being nice – usually a parent monitoring and scorning – part like a single parent – these are inner censors and tyrants that control us, keep our noses to the grindstone and do not risk any behavior that brings us the slightest embarrassment. 9 EARLY MALADAPTIVE SCHEMAS Self-perpetuating More resistant to change At the core of self-contempt Are actively maintained Are tied to high levels of affect and arousal Lead to distress 10 INTERNAL WORKING MODELS Structural processes to limit access to information (Main, 1985). “Conscious and unconscious rules…that direct not only the feelings and behaviors but also attention, memory and cognition. Rules to live by emerging out of survival based system. Strategies of actively employed – child distracts himself from wanting mothers comfort – and rejects her, or denies having needs or preoccupies self with caring for others. 11 PREMISES PHILOSOPHICALLY Different developmental trajectories Symptom has developed as a survival strategy Symptom is logical, rational and adaptive Symptom remission is dependent on understanding the logical development and allowing for a more optimal solution. 12 IFS 13 PARTS Sub-personalities or aspects of our personality that interact internally in patterns that are similar to the ways that people interact in human systems. We all have parts: Think of your playful part, your organized part, shy part, etc. All parts are valuable and have good intentions. Even though the behaviors might appear to be destructive, they are intended to protect the individual. 14 PARTS In response to life experiences, parts can become extreme and destructive, obscuring the leadership of the Self. People who have undergone severe trauma typically have more discrete, polarized parts. 15 QUALITIES OF SELF Calmness Curiosity Joy Gratitude Clarity Compassion Confidence Courage Connectedness Humor Equanimity Perspective Peace Kindness 16 COMPASSIONATE WITNESSING This occurs when the Self of the client is able to witness the stories of parts from a compassionate position. Ask the client to identify an activated part (usually associated with extreme behaviors, thoughts or feelings). Ask the client where in the body the part is and how they feel toward it – the answer may indicate that another part is blended with the Self. Ask the blended part to please step aside and let the Self work with the activated part. This may include asking more than one part to step aside. 17 COMPASSIONATE WITNESSING When the stories have been told, ask the Self to be with the part in the way the part had wanted someone to be with them when the event really happened. (Many clients do this visually). The part in question may be stuck in the past, so self may need also to retrieve the part & bring it to a safe, comfortable place in the present, after which Unburdening can proceed. (It is important to note that this process may take different forms and the above is a general way to do this part of the work). 18 UNBURDENING Burdens are thoughts, feelings or energies that constrain parts and keep them from assuming their natural healthy roles. After compassionate witnessing has taken place, ask the part whether it might like to get rid of the (burdensome) thoughts and feelings it took on, related to the scenes just witnessed. Ask where in the body the burden is located, and what they would like to give it up to. 19 INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS INNOVATIONS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Delegates capacity for healing within the client: “self-healing” Defenses accessed first. Get to know them and celebrate their genesis. Get permission to access the parts they protect. Get fear, shame and punitive internal voices to step back, allowing a more vulnerable core affect – and more accurate self-reflection. Deep structure, access to sensorimotor, visceral, image-dominated, right brain – previously unavailable material. 20 INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS INNOVATIONS Unlock the unconscious 7. Integrate disowned parts of self-consolidation. 8. Release of potential residing within 9. Establish a cohesive coherent autobiographical narrative. 10. Establish an “earned secure” attachment with self and parts as well as affect regulation. 11. Integrated affect and cognition. 6. 21 INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS INNOVATIONS 12. Therapist being “in self” allows what Kohut called empathy – mirroring “without judgment, without sympathy, without excessive analysis.” It mirrors the subjective experience of the self providing self-cohesive. 22 ATTACHMENT 23 BOWLBY Attachment systems in infancy prepare to regulate arousal by effective utilization of others for self-soothing and self-control. 24 CRAVING The psychologic distress underlying the craving is the result of an inability to metabolize negative emotions utilizing the attachment system (Fosha, 2003; Neborsky, 2003). Successful therapy restores secure attachment which allows for intimate relationships to utilize for self-soothing. Injury to the attachment system is the result of difficulties between the caregiver and child that results in segregated systems of attachment and dissociated self-systems. The result is a variant of narcissism or a false-self personality organization as a means of avoiding the need for attachment. 25 SECURE ATTACHMENT Because their caretakers have been routinely available to them, sensitive to their signals, and response with some degree of reliability (though by no means is perfect care required), these infants develop a confidence that supportive care is available to them. They expect that when a need arises, help will be available. If they do become threatened or distressed, the caregiver will help them regain equilibrium. Such confident expectations are precisely what is meant by attachment security. L. Alan Stroufe, 2000 26 ATTACHMENT AND SELF FANTASY Attachment becomes a highly structured vehicle through which increasingly complex information about the self becomes available. Developmentally, attachment contributes to acquired selfhood structures. Children abstract their uniqueness from the experience of being involved in a unique relationship with and then transform that relationship to identity. 27 MIDDLE ADOLESCENCE “What am I as a person? You’re probably not going to understand. I’m complicated! With my really close friends, I am very tolerant. I mean I’m pretty understanding and caring. With a group of friends, I’m rowdier. I’m also usually friendly and cheerful but I can get pretty obnoxious and intolerant if I don’t like how they are acting. I’d like to be cheerful and tolerant all of the time, that’s the kind of person I want to be, and I’m disappointed in myself when I’m not. At school, I’m serious, even studious every now and then, but on the other hand, I’m a goof-off too, because if you are too studious, you won’t be popular. So I go back and forth, which means I don’t do well in terms of my grades. But that causes problems at home, where I’m pretty anxious around my parents. They expect me to get all A’s and get pretty annoyed with me when report cards come out. I care what they think about me, and so then I get down on myself, but it’s not fair! I mean I worry about how I should get better grades, but I’d be mortified in the eyes of my friends if I did too well. So I’m usually pretty stressed out at home, and can even get very sarcastic, especially when my parents get on my case. But I really don’t understand how I can switch so fast from being cheerful with my friends, then coming home and feeling anxious, and then getting frustrated and sarcastic with my parents. Which one is the real me? I have the same question when I am around boys. Sometimes I feel phony. Say I think some guy might be interested in asking me out. I try to act different, like Madonna. I’ll be a real extrovert, fun-loving and even flirtatious, and I think I am really good-looking. And then everybody and I mean everybody else is looking at me like they think I am totally weird! They don’t act like they think that I’m attractive so I end up thinking that I look terrible. I just hate myself when that happens! Because it gets worse! Then I get self conscious and embarrassed and become radically introverted, and I don’t know who I really am. Am I just acting like an extrovert, am I just trying to impress them, when I am really an introvert? But I don’t really care what they think, anyway. I mean, I don’t want to care, that is. I just want to know what my close friends think. I can be my true self with my close friends. I can’t be my real self with my parents. They don’t understand me. What do they know what its like to be a teenager? They treat me like I’m still a kid. At least at school, people treat you more like you’re an adult. That gets confusing, though. I mean, which am I? When you are 15, are you still a kid or an adult? I have a part-time job and the people there treat me like an adult. I want them to approve of me, so I’m very responsible at work, which makes me feel good about myself there. But then I go out with my friends and I get pretty crazy and irresponsible. So which am I, responsible or irresponsible? How can the same person be both? If my parents knew how immature I act sometimes, they would ground me forever, particularly my father. I’m real distant with him. I’m pretty close to my mother though. But it’s being distant with one parent and close to the other, especially if we are together, like talking at dinner. Even though I’m close to my mother, I’m still pretty secretive about some things, particularly the things about myself that confuse me. So I think a lot about who is the real me, and sometimes I try to figure out when I write in my diary, but I can’t resolve it. There are days when I wish I could just become immune to myself! The Construction of Self 28 MAIN Cecilia displays distress immediately upon finding herself in the unfamiliar laboratory environment, even though her mother -- a slightly disheveled, overwhelmed-appearing woman -- is present. When the stranger enters, Cecilia looks suspicious and ill-at-ease, and refuses to engage in interactive play. Immediately upon separation, she begins to cry, while angrily resisting the stranger’s attempts to comfort her. Reunited with her mother, Cecilia cries loudly; when picked up, she does not settle, but continues crying, wriggling uncomfortably on her mother’s lap. She does not calm even after the mother has held her for a full minute. As her mother attempts to interest her in the toys, she looks momentarily out into the room, then turns back to cling again to her mother, crying and apparently still uncomfortable. The mother repeats, “Calm down, calm down, you’re OK,” but Cecilia refuses to get off her lap and engage in play. 29 MAIN, CONT When the mother leaves again, Cecilia begins crying loudly and crawls toward the door. The stranger enters at once, but Cecilia angrily resists her advances. The mother is sent in almost immediately and after a lengthy pause in which she watches as Cecilia continues to cry, she picks her up and holds her. However, when she tries to put her down, Cecilia throws herself backward in a tantrum movement. When mother reaches out to comfort her, her crying increases and she closes her eyes, throwing herself about. Two minutes later, Cecilia remains focused on her mother, clinging to her knees and fussing in a petulant, dissatisfied way. She has never engaged with the toys. 30 MAIN, CONT Her interest was in the narrative coherence. Rather than focusing on the individual’s story, she looks at the structure of the story. What the person allows themselves to know, feel and remember in telling the story. Breaks in the story, disruptions, inconsistencies, contradictions, lapses, irrelevancies, and shifts are linguistic efforts to manage that which is not integrated or regulated in experience or memory. Fonagy calls this “mentalizing” affective experience to reflect upon the diversity and compliant of internal mental states. Specific memories used as evidence supporting general descriptions of primary relationships are important. 31 AVOIDANCE (C) In the avoidant individual, therefore, reiterated refusal of his request for help has made him defensive with regard to his attachment needs. Often by discounting them and making a show of self-sufficiency, allows avoidance of new refusals and reduces the risk that the other may become irritated or leave forever. 32 RESISTANCE-AMBIVALENT (B) The resistant-ambivalent patient’s attachment needs, on the other hand, has received contradictory and unpredictable responses. Moments of comforting physical and emotional intimacy have alternated with moments of despairing aloneness and lack of attunement. 33 DISORIENTED-DISORGANIZED (D) The disoriented-disorganized patient is even more complex. Searching for and maintaining intimacy triggers unbearable anxiety and fears that make it difficult to satisfy his attachment needs. His pattern has its roots in traumatic attachment. 34 DISMISSING OF ATTACHMENT Idealization Dismissing derogation Lack of memory Response appears abstract and remote from memories or feeling Regard self as strong, independent, normal Little articulation of hurt, distress or needing Endorsement of negative aspects of parents behavior Minimizing or downplaying negative experiences Positive wrap-up No negative effects Made me more independent 35 OGAWA RESEARCH 126 children with disorganized attachment followed until age 19. Prediction of Dissociative Disorder from maternal unavailability and disorganized attachment in the first 24 months of life was more predictive than trauma. Trauma history did not add to the prediction, of dissociation after disorganized attachment. Specifically maternal Dissociative symptoms, disrupted maternal affective communication, maternal lack of involvement at 12 months, significantly contributed 5 other measures non >19 36 DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT Drawing close to the other is thus accompanied by the expectation of re-experiencing the anxiety of unpredictable availability, the fear that allowing oneself to ask for and obtain care may mean giving up one’s identity and independence. 37 ADULT ATTACHMENT 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Describe your relationship with your parents as a young child (i.e., derogation, relevance violation, loving). 5 adjectives to describe your relationship with mother/father as young child (i.e., idealization, dysfunctional). Your first remembered separation from parent Ever frightened or worried as a child Did you tell your parents Any close relative or loved one die How did you respond Do you think loss has had an affect on your personality What is your relationship like with parents now 38 ATTACHMENT 82% of infants who were maltreated were classified disorganized (Carlson, 1989). Strange situation at 12 months predicted AAI results reverse, 75% accuracy (Main, 1985). AAI predicts strange situation results before children are born (Lizendorn, 1995). Strange situation consistency is changed by trauma, in the negative direction. Psychotherapy can transfer insecure into secure attachment in adults (Hesse, 1999) 39 THERAPISTS JOB WITH ATTACHMENT TRAUMA 1. Transformation of the self through relationship. 2. Provide a secure base for exploration, development and change. 3. Provide attunement in helping the client tolerate, modulate and communicate difficult feelings. 4. Affect regulating interactions for accessing disavowed or dissociated experiences strengthening narrative competence. 5. Deconstruct the attachment patterns of the past to construct new ones in the present (see David Wallin, Attachment in Psychotherapy, Guilford Press, 2007) 40 META PSYCHOLOGY: DECONSTRUCT HOW AND WHY – AND WHAT IS THERAPEUTIC ABOUT THERAPY? WHAT IS CHANGED? HOW TO CHANGE IT? WHY DID IT NOT WORK? a. Self – accessing the Self (of client & therapist) b. Affect – Regulation/Soothing/Awareness c. Relationship – Bonding, Attachment 41 METACOGNITIONAL Metacognition means treatment of one’s mental contents as “objects” on which to reflect, or in other words “thinking about one’s thinking.” Distinct skills contribute to its characterization, such as the ability to reflect on one’s mental states, elaborating a theory of the other’s mind, decentralizing, and the sense of mastery and personal efficacy. 42 REFLECTIVE FUNCTION (FONAGY) Relates to our capacity for insight and empathy. Parents with high reflective function have secure children. Buffers early trauma and diminishes intergenerational transmission. Allows us to feel our feelings and reflect upon the meaning. Allows parents to a. b. c. Understand child’s distress Can then, cope with alleviate the distress Understand that the parents state of mind becomes the child’s. 43 FACILITATING “EARNED SECURE ATTACHMENT” 1. Facilitating a coherent cohesive and reflective narrative 2. Neutralizing idealization and loyalties to family system 3. Facilitating metacognition 4. Facilitating self-compassion 5. Utilizing an attuned relationship with therapist as a home base for exploration of developmental change 6. Asking others for self-soothing under stress 7. Re-examine detailed beliefs about self and others 8. Relinquishing defense of dissociation and re-associating affect, sensation, and knowledge 9. Not inhibit or minimize internal experiences and learn to tolerate, express attachment and related emotions 10. Resolution of internal relational exchanges between parts of self 11. Internalize self-parenting, is forgiving of mistakes, listens to disowned parts of self 12. Sets and teaches healthy boundaries 13. Resolution of significant losses in one’s life 14. Deconstruct the attachment patterns of the past and construct new ones 15. Integrate traumatic attachments, losses and re-enactments. 16. Establishing appropriate entitlements related to having needs, expressing needs, and meeting needs 44 TRAUMA WORK 45 AFFECT AS A “TRAILHEAD” Every deep desire, every powerful emotion, gives a trail into the unconscious. Usually there is only oneway traffic: outbound, toward the world of sensation and action. But we can follow the trail to its source by going against the current. With this desire to go against desire, to buck the demands of biological conditioning, the journey of selfrealization begins in earnest. Meditation in Action Eknath Easwaran 46 DISSOCIATION AND SELF-DEVELOPMENT Sexual and physical abuse at the hands of family members cause the child to split off experiences, relegating them to an inaccessible part of self. Dissociation of one’s experiences sets the stage for loss of one’s true self. The true self becomes corroded with inner badness and is concealed at all costs. Persistent attempts to be good, thus leading to a socially acceptable self, are experienced as non-authentic. The adolescent is compelled with the demand to create multiple selves in different contexts. 47 REPETITION Nevertheless, the need to repeat also has a positive side. Repetition is the language used by a child who has remained dumb, his only means of expressing himself. A dumb child needs a particularly empathic partner if he is to be understood at all. Speech, on the other hand, is often used less to express genuine feelings and thoughts that to hide, veil or deny them and, thus, to express the false self. And so, there often are long periods in our work with our patients during which we are dependent on their compulsion to repeat - for this repetition is then the only manifestation of their true self. - Alice Miller 48 REENACTMENT 1 There was a time at age 10 (right before I almost got beat to death and put into a foster home) that I was babysitting while my parents were out of town. I felt so lonely and scared. I had an empty funny feeling inside I had to fill – I didn’t know what it was. I found myself in the room where my younger brother was asleep. He evidently was sleeping nude because I really don’t remember taking his unders down. I touched him down there so we could “fill each other”. I felt sick as I started doing this but kept on a couple of seconds more. He was asleep and looked so innocent that I really felt disgusted and I stopped. I got really sick and ran crying because I was so ashamed. I wonder if he remembers it. I’m sure he does. I did the same thing one time with my younger sister. My older sister had taught me how to masturbate when I was 5 so men wouldn’t touch me. I was changing my younger sister’s panties and when I pulled them up I guess I was “triggered” into wanting to “break” her in. (So she wouldn’t hurt? Or to get her used to it? Or maybe I even wondered what my older sister had gotten out of touching me?) I touched her and realized I didn’t like what I was doing. I felt sick in my stomach – guilty – ashamed and sorry for what I had attempted to do – or had started to do. I never even thought these things again – ever – with any children. One day (at age 21?)…my mother lived across the street from me. She would ask my husband if I could go drinking with her so I could drive home and it was okay with him. I was over at her house. I always had a “need” to be close to mommy and hoped there would be that one day she would hold and comfort me – and tell me she was so sorry for what happened to me. That day she said, “Let’s go lay down.” I said, “OK!” (I remember thinking – I was going to take a nap with my mommy! We were lying down. I had my clothes on. She was lying there with her eyes shut. I glanced down and saw she wasn’t covered. She was either undressed or dressed very seductively. Her leg moved out a little (while she was sleeping?). All of a sudden I felt anger, a rage and an overwhelming feeling I can’t describe. I wanted to molest my mother. I wanted to do to her what had been done to me by my father and stepfather. She had allowed it to happen – she knew about it all along. I wanted to rape her. I reached over and put my hand on her crotch and started to put my finger in her. She squirmed with a moan of desire and I snapped into reality. I was overwhelmed with feelings of a sickness in my stomach. I felt both shame and guilt – I don’t know. I ran out. I got sick and went home. It has never been mentioned again. 49 REENACTMENT 2 As a child I would lock myself in the bathroom and play with dolls the way I had been touched. One would be in bed, the other would fondle him or her. I couldn’t understand why I did this or where it came from. I was ashamed of this awareness, but couldn’t help acting it out, I thought the shame belonged inside me, that the awareness was created solely from me. During teenage, I turned to boys to duplicate some of those feelings – of being cared for or loved. I knew I was fooling myself, I felt the emptiness I was left with after my liaisons with boys, but was all I had. I was desperate to feel loved. My need for affection was so great, I couldn’t say not to many people and I rarely did. Do you want to know why I had my tubes tied at age 18? Because whenever I thought of myself around my child, a mental image would always appear. The image was clear, and I believed in its certainty. I saw myself not being able to control the thing that lived in me from you. I saw myself fondling sexually my own infant. 50 REENACTMENT 3 It was because I couldn’t lay still when she was putting that thing in my pee-pee. I sat in my bed eating chips and wondering who was going to help me, eating peanut butter to take the taste of her pussy out of my mouth, eating more peanut butter because I can’t get the taste of Petey’s blood out of my mouth. Counting all the holes in the ceiling, wondering who I was going to talk to, eating handfuls of raw oatmeal, wondering who was going to sit with me in the window, wandering if I’d really, really had enough goodness in me to lay really still. I remember eating peanuts one by one counting them as I went 380 peanuts all together. I ate them. It was ending the loneliness and guilt for having Petey slaughtered in front of my eyes. Watching his throat being sliced and 380 peanuts later I decided it was my fault, and I wanted my mouth to be drenched in his blood, in my mouth I wanted to be back in the blood, I was bad. I felt like I was a fat bitch and I felt guilty for having the need to eat the candy, I didn’t deserve to have the food I had, I was very bad, 12 x 12 = 144, 12 x 6 = 72, 12 x 3 = 36 – half of half. I wanted to cry, because I didn’t have any tears I was afraid to cry, I hated the idea of who was going to protect me after my father left my bed at night. Who was going to be there to pet when they brought back to the house in the wee hours of the morning. Who was going to lick my face and make me giggle. No one, I was alone, totally alone 12 x 4 = 48, 6 x 6 = 36 – no one. I want to cry but I’m afraid – I’ll eat that’s what I’ll do, I’ll eat this and it will make me feel good to have this in my belly. 51 Trauma related to structural dissociation then, is a deficiency in the cohesiveness and flexibility of the personality structure. The lack of cohesion and integration of the personality manifests itself most clearly in the alteration between the vivid re-experiencing of the traumatic event and avoidance of reminders of the traumatic experience (van der Hart et al. 2006) 52 If ego states are split off, projected, rejected, indulged or otherwise unassimilated, they become black holes that absorb fear and create the defensive posture of the isolated self – unable to make satisfying contact with one’s self or others. When split-off ego states are made conscious, accepted and tolerated or integrated, the self can be at one, and compassion can be released. Epstein, 1995 53 EATING DISORDER IS… Inability to express internal distress to others… Way to shout help… Way to get love and attention… Fear of growing up and assuming adulthood… Not having an identity, an anchor… Not having the structural capacities to make it as an adult… Fear or overwhelming terror to be… A manifestation of unresolved trauma… A manifestation of parent’s unfinished business… A way of separating from mother… A way of identifying with mother and father… A way of staying connected to mother to protect her from her own emptiness… A substitute for love… A good girl’s method of rebellion… A manifestation of cravings due to inner emptiness… A relief from depression… A way of coping with loneliness – a substitute relationship… A solution to internal double binds – I must but I can’t… An escape from requiring perfection… A manifestation of the need to care for a parent and simultaneously to escape… A susceptibility to influence and needing to please people, while people reject you and are never pleased… An Obsessive Compulsive Disorder… The manifestation of an insoluble double-bind… Having something that is one’s own that no one else can touch… A need for father’s presence… A desire to maintain a child’s body… A sacrifice of authentic needs and desires in order to seek illusion of ideal… A way to cope with or cover up other horrific, intrusive thoughts or memories… An attempt to waste away… An attempt at acquiring perfection… A holding pattern A question: will anyone notice? “Safety” (that can kill) A distancer 54 “SELF-EMPATHY” - The internalizing (evoking) of the attentive, validating, caring relationship to oneself. This involves helping the client articulate her experience and bring it into her own internal relational context. 55 INTER-PSYCHIC INTIMACY (between the couple) vs. INTRA-PSYCHIC INTIMACY (within the individual) 56 TRAUMA RECOVERY DOMAINS (MARY HARVEY, Ph.D.) 1. 2. 3. 4. Authority Over Memory – can take event from the past, talk about it with sense of empowerment. Integration of Memory and Affect – can feel some appropriate affect with cognition. New affect (adultoriented) (1995). Affect Tolerance and Trauma – Related Affect – feeling no longer overwhelmed, get overwhelmed and back into the trauma, ignore the walk into danger. Symptom Mastery – Hypervigilant, anxiety, depression, dissociation, somatic, compulsivity, how much do we need to measure remission. 57 TRAUMA RECOVERY DOMAINS (MARY HARVEY, Ph.D.) 5. 6. 7. 8. Self-esteem – capacity for self-care and regard, properly eat, exercise, sleep and selfsoothe. Self-cohesion – how one experiences oneself, fragmented, compartmentalized, self-trust. Safe Attachment – Negotiate and maintain safety in relationships. Making Meaning – Making meaning of their experiences. 58 STEPS IN TRAUMA RESOLUTION 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Develop safety and trust. Establish grounding and containment Establish control over out-of-control behavior Teach cognitive errors, affect modulation and life skills. Establish relationship between injured and executive selves. Allow injured self to “tell,” reassociating affect, sensation and knowledge. 59 STEPS IN TRAUMA RESOLUTION 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. Permit the injured and adult selves to reprocess information with therapist assistance. Encourage release of affect embedded in memory. Encourage catharsis. Encourage confrontation. Encourage presentation. Facilitate greater integration. 60 STUCKPOINTS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. How am I avoiding remembering? How am I avoiding feelings? How am I avoiding talking about it? How am I minimizing? How am I avoiding focusing on enjoying parts of life? How am I avoiding noticing triggers that cause me to hurt self? How am I avoiding dealing with current life stresses? How am I still protecting those who hurt me? How am I avoiding being close to others? What secrets have I not yet discussed? How am I fighting my therapist and working my program? 61