Transcript + Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

+
Seven Sacraments of The Church
Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Marriage
Our Faith
• It is our faith that all of the Sacraments were
instituted by Our Lord Jesus Christ, but marriage
is as old as the human race. It goes all the way
back to creation. It was founded by the Creator
Himself when He said: “It is not good for man
(male) to be alone” [Genesis 2:18] Then He
created woman (female), and He blessed them
saying; “Increase and multiply and fill the earth”
What did Our Lord Jesus Christ teach about
Marriage?
• Our Lord Jesus Christ confirmed these words
when He said, “Have you not read that He who
made them from the beginning made them male
and female, and said, “For this reason Man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined
to his wife, and the two shall become one! So
they are no longer two but one. What therefore
God has joined together, let no man put
asunder” [Matthew 19:4-6]
Marriage in The Coptic Orthodox
Church
• In our Coptic Orthodox Church, the purposes of
marriage are numerous; high on the list is the
procreation of children.
• The couple “Male & Female” is understood to be
co-workers with God, not only in the
perpetuation of human life through the
conception, birth and physical care of children,
but also to take care of the spiritual nurture of
new members’ of God’s kingdom.
Marriage as a Sacrament
• In the early church, marriage was considered a
Mysterion or a Sacrament, Tertullian wrote in the
second century telling us that; “A Christian couple who
desired to be married applied for a civil license and
then went to church on Sunday to receive communion
during the liturgy and the blessing of the Bishop or the
Priest. Just as God blessed that first marriage, so He
blesses ours today when we stand before His Holy
Altar. This is why marriage is a Sacrament in the
Coptic Orthodox Church. It is a way by which Christ
comes to us to bless us.
Marriage is NOT an agreement!!
• In our Coptic Orthodox Church,
marriage is not simply an agreement
of a man and woman to share their
lives together.
• It is not performed by the bride and
the groom with the clergyman and the
congregation as witnesses to their
decision.
• Their union based on their freely willed decision to join
their lives together as husband and wife becomes
sacramental because: they are joined together as
Orthodox Christians who are sharing the Body and
the Blood of Christ and receiving the grace of God
for their union through the ministrations of the
church in the person of the clergyman in the
presence of the gathered people of God.
• Marriage is the single most important
relationship in life next to one’s
relationship with God. In his book
“Magnificent Marriage” G. MacDonald
says’ “The relationship of a man and a
woman in marriage is the prime
relationship of all mankind, superseded
only by that relationship which
man/woman establishes with his/her God.”
What the Sacrament says
about Sex?
n
t
s
a•
y
s
a
b
o
u
t
S
e
x
The fact that Matrimony is a Sacrament tells us
much about God views sex! After creating man
and woman and ordering them to multiply, God
not only said that it was “good” as He has said
of all His previous creations. He now said that
it was “very good” [Genesis 1:31]
•
He created sex for a very special
relationship called “MARRIAGE” which He
had blessed then and still blesses now.
• If God surrounds sex with many
commandments, He does so not because it
is something evil, but because it is precious
that He builds a fence around it to protect it.
The Three Ingredients of True
Love

Spiritual Attraction:
By spiritual
attraction, we mean two young people
can talk about God and agree. They can
talk about the goals of life and agree. No
wall exists between them when they talk
about the purpose of life. Spiritual love is
the gift God comes to give through the
Sacrament of Matrimony. It is God’s kind
of love.
• Mental Attraction: By mental attraction,
two young people are interested in each
other’s personality. We call this friendship
love
 Physical Attraction: By physical attraction,
a boy and a girl are attracted to each other
physically. Physical attraction should not
be the only attraction.
We call this
beautiful (Eros) love.
Ideal Christian Home:
• Unity of Marriage: One man and one woman as
God created them at the beginning.
• Independent Living: “For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife” to have a separate stable life, to avoid
troubles and contacts between his wife and his
parents. However, the man shall continue loving
and caring for his parents and supporting them
to have their blessing according to the
commandment.
Ideal Christian Home (Cont.)
• One Flesh: “They are no longer two, but one
flesh”, one spirit, one heart, and one life.
• Stability and Continuity of Family: As there is no
divorce in Christianity except for adultery,
whoever encourages divorce is breaking a
divine law placed by God Himself when he
wedded Adam and Eve, and blessed them as
“What God has joined together, let no man
separate”. (Matthew 19:6).
Before the Ceremony
• The time of the original rite of the Sacrament of
Matrimony is Sunday morning, after the morning
raising of incense, right before the Liturgy. In the
past, the tradition was that the bride and the
groom stay up during the wedding night in a
special hall attached to the church praising and
praying. Each one accompanied by one of their
friends. In front of St. George Church in Old
Cairo, Egypt, this hall still exists in its original
form.
The Ceremony
The Pauline
• Before reading the Pauline, deacons chant [TAY
SHORY] the Pauline Hymn, which specifically for Saint
Mary, so the Bride should resemble and behave like her
mother the Virgin St. Mary in Her purity, modesty and
spirituality.
• St. Paul writes about marriage in his letter to the
Ephesians. Before we look at it, however, we need to
remember that Paul lived in a pagan world where the
views on marriage were much like ours today. The world
at Paul’s time held a low concept of marriage. All kinds
of sexual immorality prevailed. Paul called on Christians
to disassociate themselves from those prevailing
attitudes.
The Ephesians [5:22-33]
• Husbands and Wives
1. Wives to submit to their Husbands as the church
submits to Christ (5:22-24)
2. Husbands to love their Wives as Christ loves the
Church (5:26):
• Christ died for the Church (5:25)
• Christ lives to make the Church Holy and Clean
(5:26)
• Christ will someday present the Church to Himself
as a glorious Church without Stain and wrinkle
(5:27)
3. Husbands are to love their Wives as they love their own
bodies
(5:28-33)
Psalms and Gospel Readings
• Psalm 18:5, 6: “Like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber
and rejoices like a strong man to run its race. This is a
prophecy about Christ rising from the dead in victory, strong
and happy like the bridegroom coming out of his chamber
filled with happiness.”
• Psalm 128: 3, 4: “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine, in the
very heart of your house. Your children like olive plants all
around your table….” This Psalm finishes by “Blessings of
those who fear the Lord.”
• Matthew 19: 1-6: “What God has joined together, let no man
separate”. The Gospel that is read from Matthew 19: 1-6
includes some important principles for a stable marriage and
the formation of an ideal Christian Home.
The Rite of the Ceremony
The marriage ceremony of the Coptic
Orthodox Church is ritual and full of
symbolism. Each of the acts has special
meaning and significance, see the
following:
• The Rings: The exchange of rings gives the
expression to the fact that the spouses in
marriage will constantly be complementing
each other. Each partner will be enriched by
each other, and by their union. Placing the
two rings in a red ribbon, as red denotes the
bond of the couple to the Blood of the Lord
Jesus Christ, who is the Third Partner in
every Christian family. The ribbon is made
from silk, as silk is a very expensive material.
Likewise, matrimony is valuable and
precious.
• The Candles: The candles are like the
lamps of the five wise maidens of the
Bible. The candles symbolize the spiritual
willingness of the couple to receive Christ,
who will bless them through this
sacrament.
• The Joining of the Right Hands: The right
hand of the bride and the right hand of the
groom are joined when the priest reads
the prayer that beseeches God to “join
these them servants, unite them in one
mind and one flesh.” The hands are kept
joined throughout the service to symbolize
the “oneness” of the couple.
• The Crowning: The crowns are signs
of the glory and honor with which
God crowns the couple during the
sacrament. The groom and the bride
are crowned as the king and queen of
their own little kingdom, the home,
which they will rule with wisdom,
justice and integrity.
• The Cloak: The cloak is a priestly
vestment. The groom wears it here
because he becomes a leader of the
house, and he leads his family in
prayers at the family altar.
Rites and meaning, cont..
• Anointing with the Holy Oil: Anointing the couple
with the holy oil has many advantages: It is oil for
sanctification and blessing as the Bible says, “You
anoint my head with oil.” (Psalm 23:5). It is an
anointment of purity and incorruption and a strong
weapon against all lustful thoughts. The holy oil is a
sign of gladness and joy, as the Bible says, “Your
God has anointed you with the oil of gladness more
than your companions” (Psalm 45:7).
• Reciting the Orthodox Creed: To remind the couple
that their wedding is founded on the Holy Orthodox
Faith of the One Holy, Universal and Apostolic
Church to keep it in their life and hand the same faith
over to their children.
The Commandments
• The priest takes the bride and the groom before the
altar’s door facing the east, he recites for them the
commandment before the altar to become a witness that
they are married before the Lord and must keep what the
Church commands/advises them.
• It is important that the priest recite the commandments
slowly and married couples must listen carefully,
because it is very important for married couple to know
each other’s rights and fulfill it completely before asking
for his/her rights.
The Groom’s Commandment:
 “My blessed son (name), take (name) your wife,
in purity of heart and sincerity. Do all that good
for her. Have compassion on her and always
hasten to do what gladden her heart...”
 This commandment is an invitation of love,
sacrifice and giving in to live happily, also it is
warning him against selfishness and uncaring
which are the basis of troubles.
The Bride’s Commandment
• “And you, blessed daughter and happy bride
(name)… You must honor and respect him, do
not disagree with him but increase your
obedience to him… You must receive him with
joy and cheer. Do not ignore any of his rights
upon you and fear God in all your deeds with
him…”
• It is important for the bride to humble herself and
practice this commandment
Commandment for Both
• “Now since you have been present at this
blessed time before the sanctuary of the
Lord of Hosts and His Holy Altar, you
(Bride & Groom) have been joined
together and united in the blessedness of
matrimony…So you (Bride & Groom)
must submit yourselves to one another in
LOVE & PURITY.
After the Ceremony
• The traditional which was derived from the book of Tobit,
that the newly wed spend the first three days in prayers
and spiritual readings to start their new marital life with a
holy beginning as a strong foundation. When Tobit the
righteous man married to Sarah, he said to her; “Rise up
my sister, let us pray to God today, tomorrow and after
tomorrow. As in those three days we join God. After the
third night we consummate our marriage, as we are
children of saints and can not marry like Gentiles who do
not know God. So both rose up, prayed fervently for God
to bless them” (Tobit 8:4-6)
Birth Control
• The question of birth control can only be solved by individual
Christian couples. They can make the right decision only if they
accept their Christian commitment with ultimate seriousness. In any
case, the advice of a good father of confession could help much in
taking the right first step in married life. Fr. Stanley Harakas,
Professor of Orthodox Ethics at Holy Cross Seminary, writes, “In the
Orthodox Church, the purposes of marriage are numerous. High on
the list is the procreation of children. The couple is understood to be
co-workers with God. Not only in the perpetuation of human life
through the conception, birth and physical care of children, but also
in the more profound sins of the spiritual nurture of new members’ of
God’s kingdom. That is why many Orthodox theologians believe
that Birth Control methods may be used by Orthodox couples
when the other purposes of marriage are also respected.
Marriage outside the Church
• An Orthodox Christian must seek the blessing and grace of
Christ for his/her marriage through the Church. “An Orthodox
Christian who excludes his marriage from this gracious union
with Christ in the Church certainly excludes himself from the
communion of the Church.” Fr. Stanley Harakas writes again
in “Guidelines for Marriage….” “Orthodox Christians, who
have not been married in the Church and have been married
civilly, or by a clergyman of another Church or Faith, should
have their union sanctified in Christ through the Sacrament of
Holy Matrimony in the Orthodox Church. Otherwise they are
not in good standing with their church and may not receive
Holy Communion and other sacraments of the church.” A
devout Orthodox Christian will not exclude Christ from such a
vital and important area of life as marriage.
Divorce !!?
• The view of the Coptic Orthodox Church on
divorce: “If a man divorces his wife, for any
cause other than unchastity, and marries
another, he commits adultery.” One point must
be clearly understood: from the point of view of
Orthodox theology, a divorce granted by the
State in the civil courts is not sufficient.
Remarriage in Church is only possible if the
Church authorities have themselves granted a
divorce and issue an authorization to re-marry.
The Second Marriage
• The Coptic Orthodox Church permits the second
marriage and does not prohibit it, BUT does not
prefer it. Saint Paul said; “But I say to the
unmarried and to the widows. It is good for them
if they remain even as I am, but if they can not
exercise self control, let them marry. For it is
better to marry than to burn with passion” (1
COR 7:8-9), the ceremony of the second
marriage is different than regular wedding
ceremony.