Transcript The Hurting Women Around Us

ABUSE
AWARENESS
DAY
2004
WHERE IS THE
LOVE?
God’s Word says
• Dear friends, let us love one
another, for love comes from
God. Everyone who loves has
been born of God and knows
God. Whoever does not love
does not know God, because God
is love. 1 John 4:7,8 NIV
Why has the church been reluctant
to talk about abuse?
• Acknowledging that there are hurting people in
the church seems to deny that God is able
• Secrecy
• Hard to accept the sins
of the world are also
the sins of the church
• Easier to deal with
the pain of strangers
than the pain of those we know
• Legal aspect of abuse
What is abuse?
Abuse or domestic violence is when one person
uses violent or intimidating behavior to control
or dominate the other person, which results in
physical, sexual and or psychological damage,
forced social isolation or economic deprivation,
or behavior which leaves the victim living in
fear. Abuse is more than just an argument or
disagreement. It includes fear, control,
domination, victimization and harm. Someone
is being hurt.
Types of abuse
• Physical – actions which cause
humiliation, physical pain or injury, such
as kicking, pushing, or punching
• Psychological/Emotional – actions which
cause loss of self-esteem, and/or loss
of self-determination, such as name
calling, isolation, or criticizing
More types of Abuse
• Sexual – actions of a sexual nature that
are unwelcome, uncomfortable, or
forced; this includes rape
• Neglect - not providing basic needs such
as food and clothing for a dependent eg a
child or elderly person, and abandonment
• Spiritual – using the Scriptures to create
guilt or fear to make people do what we
want them to do
General Abuse Indicators
•
•
•
•
Social isolation
Low self-esteem
Depression
Physical injuries
for which
explanations seem
inadequate
• Minimizing personal feelings and needs
• Acceptance of responsibility
for maltreatment, i.e. self blame,
expressions of guilt
• High defensiveness about
traditional male-female roles
• Unrealistic hopes that change
is imminent
• Drug and alcohol abuse
and/or other self-destructive behaviors
Child Abuse Indicators
• Sadness, fear, depression,
anxiety
• Aggressive, disruptive, and/or
destructive behavior
• Passive, compliant behavior
• Withdrawal
• Drug and alcohol abuse and/or
other self-destructive
behaviors
Indicators of Child Sexual Abuse
• Breast or genital irritation, pain or injury
• Torn or stained underclothing
• Difficulty sleeping, bed-wetting,
nightmares, fear of the dark
• Unusual interest in or knowledge of
sexual matters
• Sexual acting out
• Expressing affection in ways which should
be beyond the child‘s experience and
understanding
So what can we do?
• Accept the fact that
abuse and family violence
exist in the church
• Break the silence on abuse
• Understand that abuse and
domestic violence are
about power and control
• Listen to the abused and
accept their feelings
without judging
• Treat seriously all reports of incidences
of physical, emotional or sexual abuse
• Respect a victim’s right to make
decisions about how they will respond to
their situation
• Protect the victim – find them a safe
place
• Help family members get professional
help
• Assure the victim that abuse is never
their fault
• Maintain confidentiality
• Hold the abuser
accountable for
their actions
• Provide a supportive
network
• Report abusive and
violent incidents
“I will exalt and
rejoice in your
steadfast love,
because you have
seen my affliction;
you have taken
heed of my
adversities.”
Psalm 31:7
“The eyes of the LORD are
open to their cry…
The righteous cry and the
LORD hears, and
delivers them out of all
their troubles.
The LORD is near to the
brokenhearted, and saves
those who are crushed in
spirit.”
Psalm 34:15-18