Transcript Metaphysics Meets RecoveryBy: Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Life Coach

Metaphysics Meets Recovery
By:
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Life Coach
What you can expect today:
•Introduction:
About me, my story
What I do
How I do it
•Metaphysics Meets Recovery:
How the environment, the world and how we view them can have a powerful impact on recovery.
•Law of Sobriety Presentation
How I fused together these powerful resources into a working therapeutic framework.
•Demonstration of how the Law of Sobriety is applied to the addicted population:
Clips of Celebrity Rehab:
•Behind the scenes of Celebrity Rehab:
How treating celebrities is a unique experience compared to treating the rest of the population.
Questions and Answers
About me:
I am a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in individual, couples, family, and group
psychotherapy and maintains a private practice in Agoura, CA .
I have over fifteen years of experience as a clinician, and I am a graduate of USC
specializing in addictions, eating disorders, parenting, single parenting, divorce, and life
coaching, and I am currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad
spectrum of clients.
I also do a considerable amount of consulting for several high profile treatment centers
and work with many high profile clients and celebrities.
I lecture and give presentations at local and National conferences and to general
audiences on numerous topics.
I am a practical, interactive, solution-focused therapist. My treatment approach is to
provide support and practical feedback to help clients resolve current problems and longstanding patterns. I incorporate a blend of conventional and alternatives approaches,
drawing upon a variety of styles and techniques to formulate what will be most helpful for
each client. I work with sensitivity and compassion with each client to help them build on
their strengths to identify and achieve life goals.
And I am the Celebrity Life Coach and Psychotherapist
on Celebrity Rehab 2, 3, 4 and 5 Sober House, and Celebrity Rehab's Sex
Addiction with Dr. Drew on VH1
How watching a movie (“The Secret”) with my clients, helped to
transform my life.
How the “Law Of Attraction” has manifested in my
life…
#3 RECEIVE
1# ASK
#2
BELIEVE
Metaphysics Meets Recovery:
To understand this union we must first address the “addiction” component
as it relates to the world of psychology and the metaphysical world.
Addiction is locked in ones thinking/thoughts which is intrinsically tied into
ones feelings/emotions, this is why the psychological therapeutic process is
so important to the recovery process.
The metaphysical aspect relates to the world around us, the energy we put
out into that world and the energy we receive.
I have had tremendous success by blending the unique attributes of
psychological approaches and metaphysics. So much so that I have fused
them together into a clinically sound and successful modality of treatment
that has proven to have the potential to greatly increase the rate of positive
treatment outcomes for anyone working with people struggling with
addiction. I have published these principles in my book called “The Law of
Sobriety”.
One of the most fundamental principals is; we are surrounded by an Infinite Intelligence.
Because we are spiritual beings, we sense the presence of an Intelligence which is beyond
what we see.
The way we access universal energy is thru expanding our awareness, our consciousness
which is done by mindfulness, meditation, affirmations, journaling, and awareness.
Our infinite intelligence responds to us when we are true to its own nature. When we are in
love, inspiration, joy, we are being our true self.
Our thoughts are the engine and our emotions are the fuel. Our thoughts create our reality.
Words, thoughts, and emotions create our energy and that is what is attracted back to us.
What we are and to become depends on what we are thinking.
The awareness inside us is the basis of all reality.
New age thinking is not new.
Prana is a cosmic energy – the breath transforms us.
Balanced Chi makes better health.
Karma means action – our words and action create our karma.
Judaism/Christianity – the power of faith brings about positive change.
The Science of Mind – To live successfully, chose positive thoughts.
Integrates spiritual truth and science/physics.
Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life –
Positive thoughts are a gateway to healing the body.
Deepak Chopra - the energetic force behind the LOA is the field of potentiality. This is
where we reach our greatest selves, where our infinite wisdom lies. This is why numbing
our feelings, using drugs and alcohol does not allow us to access this core aspect of
ourselves.
The Law of Sobriety has helpful tools at the end of each chapter that engage and
empower the reader to begin the process of reaching our greatest selves.
Some of the tools that we use are:
Journaling
Silences the internal editor.
No right or wrong way
Write down whatever you are thinking.
Be non-judgmental
Releases emotions related to trauma
Helps you access your dreams, hopes, and purpose
Meditation
Breathing, guided visualizations, non-judgmental, don’t push for anything, mediate on finding
harmony in the universe and you may find your answers there.
Positive Affirmations
Statements that describe what you want to happen in your life that you repeat over and over
again.
Training the mind to stop bombarding yourself with negative emotions. It teaches your mind to
accept positive ideas as truth.
Ex: I will never find a job…. A new job is exactly what I allow now….Employers want to hire
me
Here is how I fused together these powerful
resources….
”The Law of Sobriety”
Here is the framework (along with
the therapeutic dynamics) for
successful use of the principles and
tools that are the foundation of
“The Law of Sobriety”:
The Components:
The Law of Attraction
Positive Psychology
Cognitive & Dialectical Behavioral Therapies
These components are fused together to create a
powerful client-centered approach to addiction
treatment.
The Law of Attraction
The principle of “The Law of Attraction” has been
around for thousands of years, even before Plato
came up with his “Law of Affinity” (like tends
toward like or likes attract).
It did not become a popular philosophy however
until the early 1900’s when it became the
foundational cornerstone of the New Thought
Movement.
The Law of Attraction states:
The reality of our life is related to the
thoughts, both conscious and unconscious,
that we put out into the universe.
Thoughts are a form of energy, and the
energy we project into the world is the energy
we will receive or attract back into our lives.
We attract back to ourselves whatever
we put out into the universe
on two levels:
1. The energy of our emotions
&
2. Energy of our thoughts
The Energy Of Our Emotions:
If you are emanating joy, peace, and
happiness, you will attract those emotions
back to yourself.
and
If you are projecting fear, rage, and
discontent, those are the emotions you will
attract back.
The Energy Of Our Thoughts:
When it comes to our thoughts, if you think you
will never be able to achieve a goal then you
never will achieve it.
(for example: getting the job you want)
But if you think you will get that great job, and
you imagine yourself working there, eventually it
will happen.
Practical Application:
When we learn how to consciously control what
we think, we are no longer controlled by our
own negativity or by ideas about ourselves that
come from other people.
We can then raise the level of thought at which
we attract happiness and serenity to ourselves.
You can view The Law of Attraction
literally (and many people do),
or
You can see it as a metaphor for
understanding how we can all get trapped
in negative ways of thinking
(and how much damage that can do in our lives)
And then how changing our thinking can
change our lives.
Positive Psychology
One idea inherent in the Law of Attraction is that people with a positive
outlook tend to have happier lives, and psychologists agree.
In fact, there is a whole branch of psychology that is known as positive
psychology.
Positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues
that enable individuals and communities to thrive, and the types of
psychological interventions that build happiness.
There is an International Positive Psychology Association, as well as
positive psychology centers at the University of Pennsylvania, the
University of Michigan, and other universities that promote research,
training, and education about positive psychology.
Researchers in the field of positive
psychology have found that the
qualities recognized as character
virtues and strengths seem to be
fairly consistent throughout the
world. The most commonly
endorsed strengths that contribute
to fulfillment (as reported in a 2005
American Psychology article by M.
E. P. Seligman, et al.) are:
Kindness
Fairness
Authenticity
Gratitude
Open-mindedness
Emotional strengths such as:
Zest
Gratitude
Hope
Love
are also more strongly associated with
life satisfaction than are intellectual
strengths.
The article also reported that “Happy
people are healthier, more successful,
and more socially engaged.”
In other words, people who are happy
and filled with gratitude and love attract
back to themselves health, success, and
social camaraderie.
Positive Psychology espouses that when we are engaged
in exercising our own virtues, we are happiest. When we
make a conscious effort to put more energy into our
strongest areas, we are happier, and when we strive to
improve an area of weakness, it increases our happiness,
as well.
Here are some examples of virtues (from Marty
Seligman’s 2003 book Learned Optimism) and ways to
enhance these virtues:
Wisdom and Knowledge –
Learning and applying insight i.e. artistic achievement, exploring and discovering
experiences, embracing curiosity, thinking things through, not jumping to conclusions,
have perspective.
Ex: create a picture, submit a piece to a blog, brainstorm new ways to do things,
Ex: Listen to speakers, lecturers, tele-seminars, ask questions and learn about their
insights, discover new places, read a new book that you wouldn’t ordinarily pick up, go
out with a new colleague that differs from you, get a quote a day online, interview
someone wise and ask how they live.
Courage –
Accomplishing goals even when fears, insecurities, and obstacles are in the way.
Bravery i.e. speaking up for what is right, Perseverance i.e. staying the course in spite of
obstacles, embracing integrity, honesty, speaking the truth, enthusiasm i.e. approaching
life with excitement and energy .
Ex: speak publically, speak up for an unpopular idea you believe in, publically admit
when you are wrong, notice when you inhibit yourself because you are afraid to speak,
appreciate your genuineness at the end of the day, go out of your way to get more
involved in an organization or volunteer work.
Love –
Valuing close reciprocal relationships –kindness and generosity, social, personal and
emotional intelligence – being aware of other’s motives and knowing how to be social
acceptable in different situations.
Ex: express love with a note, send an e-card, give a hug, when being loved, savor the
moment, due an act of random kindness, try to see the virtues in others
Justice – being loyal, farness i.e. treating all people the same, leadership i.e.
encouraging a group to gets things done but at the same time good relations with
them.
Ex: pick up litter, volunteer, let someone speak without passing judgment, stay
impartial in an argument.
Temperance –
Forgiveness, humility i.e. not regarding one’s self as more special than another,
cautious i.e. not saying or doing things that might later be regretted
Self-control – regulating one’s feelings and emotions.
Ex: see things from another perspective, practice forgiveness, when someone does
something you find un-comfortable, try to understand his/her intentions, give
compliments freely, don’t gossip,
Transcendence –
Noticing the beauty in nature, art, everyday experiences, gratitude, optimism i.e.
expecting the best, playfulness, spirituality, sense of purpose – believing in a
higher purpose and meaning of the universe.
Ex: pick out moving music and listen with appreciation, keep a journal and write
something that inspired you, keep a gratitude journal, say thank you more often,
try to see the optimistic side of something difficult, review lessons of bad
decisions you have made, visualize accomplishing your goals, think about the
purpose of your life, pray, read a spiritual book, mediate or contemplate a virtue
you hope to develop.
Some of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques that are
used with this approach:
Systematic Positive Reinforcement: The systematic positive
reinforcement is one of the cognitive behavioral therapy techniques in
which certain (positive) behaviors of a person are rewarded with a positive
reinforcement. A reward system is established for the reinforcement of
certain positive behaviors. Just like positive reinforcement helps in
encouraging a particular behavior, withholding the reinforcement
deliberately is useful in eradicating a maladaptive behavior.
Writing in a Journal: It is the practice of maintaining a diary to keep an
account of the situations that arise in day-to-day life. The thoughts which
are associated with these situations and the behavior exhibited in response
to them are also mentioned in the diary. The therapist along with the client
reviews the diary/journal and finds out the maladaptive thought pattern and
how do they actually affect the behavior of an individual.
Guided Discovery: The objective/purpose behind using this
technique is to help the client and enable him understand his
cognitive distortions.
Modeling: It is one of the cognitive behavioral therapy
techniques in which the therapists performs role-playing
exercises which are aimed at responding in an appropriate way to
overcome difficult situations. The client makes use of this
behavior of the therapist as a model in order to solve the
problems he comes across.
Homework: The homework is actually a set of assignments given
by therapists to clients. The client may have to take notes while a
session is being conducted, review the audiotapes of a particular
session or he may have to read article/books that are related to the
therapy.
Some of the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy techniques
that are used to help clients find their purpose with
intention are:
Clients learn to use specific skills that are broken down
into four modules:
Core mindfulness skills
Interpersonal effectiveness skills
Emotion regulation skills
Distress tolerance skills
What is core mindfulness?
Comes from Buddhist teachings.
It is the balance between the logical mind and the emotional mind to become the
wise mind.
Addicts are distracted by their thoughts.
The wise mind is a balance between an intuitive knowing while experiencing it
logically.
What are interpersonal skills?
Addicts have un-realistic ideas of what others can do and tend to put others on a
pedestal and then feel inadequate.
Interpersonal skills are maximizing a person’s goals in specific situations while not
damaging interpersonal relationships.
What are emotion regulation skills?
Experiencing emotions without judging, blocking, distracting, pushing them away.
Life is painful but don’t have to suffer.
Suffering is secondary emotions that you attach to your pain.
You are not your emotion.
What are distress tolerance skills?
The ability to tolerate and accept distress.
You accept you are part of some cosmic process.
You have reverence for it and you stoop resisting reality.
What you resist what is, you are resisting the universe.
How do we fuse together all of these powerful
concepts into one functional therapeutic
framework?
The answer is:
“The Law of Sobriety”
This approach combines all of the effective and powerful techniques and
philosophies we have just discussed. The concept consists of seven action
steps that galvanize the resourcefulness that is unique and inherent in every
client so they can achieve a life of meaning, purpose and value that is free
from addiction. The steps are:
1. Find your purpose with intention
2. Live a life that is true to your values
3. Live a life of authenticity
4. Learn to live in appreciation, forgiveness, and compassion
5. Live a life of right action
6. Live with awareness and mindfulness
7. Learn to let go of resistance and attachments
This unique blend of solution oriented approaches and philosophies have
been fused together into a clinically sound and successful modality of
treatment that has proven to have the potential to greatly increase the rate of
positive treatment outcomes for the addiction treatment profession.
Some Important Principles of The Law of Sobriety
The Law of Sobriety takes the principles of the Law of
Attraction and puts them to work for a specific purpose to
help individuals recover from addiction (be it alcohol,
drugs, sex, gambling, eating disorders etc…).
The Law of Sobriety states that by taking certain action
steps and applying conscious energy to these steps, a life
of peace and serenity is possible.
The goal of the Law of Sobriety is to take actions in
recovery that will not only bring sobriety, but will also
promote a life that is purposeful and meaningful.
Some Important Principles of The Law of Sobriety
The Law of Sobriety is about our clients living their lives on
purpose, clean and sober, and mustering up all the energy they
have to go after exactly what they want.
Our clients are not only going after sobriety, but they are also
pursuing whatever it is that brings them joy.
Discovering their life’s purpose in sobriety may be the most
important breakthrough they will ever make: it may even be one
of the key elements that helps to save their lives.
That’s because deciding why they are here and what gives their
life meaning, will help to keep them on track by enabling them to
choose (maybe for the first time ever) where to put their energy.
The First Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Finding Your Purpose with Intention
The Law of Sobriety is about living your life on purpose, clean and sober,
and mustering up all the energy you have to go after exactly what you want.
You are not only going after sobriety, but are also pursuing whatever it is
that brings you joy.
Discovering your life’s purpose in sobriety may be the most important
breakthrough you will ever make: it may even save your life.
That’s because deciding why you are here and what gives your life
meaning keeps you on track by enabling you to choose where to put your
energy.
Living on purpose and with intention means living
with focus and clarity, with self-determination and
an insatiable appetite to be the best you can be.
It’s about getting out of a negative mind-set, turning
up the positive frequency, and going after what you
most desire, starting with recovery.
The Second Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Living a Life that Is True to Your Values
The Law of Sobriety is about being more purposeful and less
random, more powerful and less impotent.
It is based on the concept that if you are willing to put your energy
into sobriety, that same energy will come back to you—and you will
reap the rewards.
The Law of Sobriety is grounded in accountability for your actions.
Your actions and the consequences of them are not the results of
chance or luck, but rather are a direct result of the values you live by
and believe in.
If you are not living a life that is true to your values,
there is a good chance that you feel dissatisfied,
depressed, angry, frustrated, and fearful.
If you are not living in alignment with your core values,
you will have very little energy to pursue what you desire
in your relationships, work, spiritual life, health and wellbeing, and, of course, recovery.
When your values align with your true essence, you are
doing the things you are good at and truly enjoy.
We all have unique talents. When your gifts are manifested in your
life, you will feel whole, complete, and fulfilled. It’s important to
remember that not all gifts involve your career or a job. Your special
talent may be fostering a happy family life, playing a musical
instrument, writing, working in your garden, acting, speaking, being
a volunteer, or something else that just “feels right” for you.
Your gift comes in a form that authentically expresses who you are.
When you find it you will know it, and you must follow that
knowing.
It will be what brings you the most inner peace, joy, freedom, and
exhilaration. It will resonate from the values that you will be most
proud of when you look back on your life.
The Third Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Living a Life of Authenticity
Authenticity is about being honest, especially with yourself, in
everything you think, say, and do.
The Law of Sobriety states: “when you are living authentically, the
energy of who you are on the inside will be expressed on the
outside”.
Behaving in an authentic manner is the only way for your true self
to emerge. If you have spent years lying and hiding from yourself,
this may not be easy for you. What you need to remember is that not
living a life of authenticity carries a very high cost, while living in
your truth brings huge benefits.
When you are using drugs or alcohol, you get caught up
in a vortex of lying to yourself and everyone around you.
In some situations, lying may seem easier than telling the
truth. But hiding your truth makes you defensive, fearful,
angry, shameful, and unwilling to change.
If you can escape the vortex of lying and access who you
really are, the Law of Sobriety says you will awaken to
your true nature.
No matter what the circumstances, you will be aligned
with your true self. This is what it means to live a life of
authenticity.
The Fourth Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Learning to Live in Appreciation, Forgiveness, and Compassion
Appreciation, forgiveness, and compassion are interrelated concepts.
To live in appreciation means living so that you fully appreciate your life.
The Law of Sobriety says you should begin appreciating the gifts of your sober
life even if you haven’t fully achieved sobriety, because embracing positive
change brings more positive change to you.
To live your life in appreciation, you must first learn to forgive yourself for your
mistakes and forgive others who have caused you emotional pain. And
forgiveness stems from compassion.
You cannot forgive until you develop a profound compassion for yourself and
others, and understand that those who came into your life were put there for a
reason—even if it was to teach you a painful lesson.
The Fifth Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Living a Life of Right Action
Living a life of right action means acting in accordance with who you are truly
meant to be—not just doing what is right, but doing what is right for you. It means
directing your energies toward what makes your heart sing.
To live a life of right action, it is imperative to ask yourself whether the choices
you are making align with your goals or with someone else’s.
Addicts and alcoholics are often suffering from low self-esteem. It’s important to
realize that until you raise your sense of self-worth, you will continue to attract
negative results into your life.
The Law of Sobriety says you get what you expect to get. It is therefore vital to
exercise your muscle of self-respect; when you respect yourself and the path you
are on, you “expect” a better life—and you get it! You build your self-respect by
following the path that is yours and yours alone.
The Sixth Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Living with Awareness and Mindfulness
Mindfulness means being aware only of the moment you
are in, without thinking about the past or the future or getting
caught up in opinions or judgments about what’s going on.
Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on
purpose, in the present moment and without judgment.
Mindfulness provides a simple but powerful route for
getting ourselves unstuck, and back in touch with our own
wisdom and vitality.
Living mindfully on purpose is all about a life fully lived with
each breath you take. Each moment is meaningful and joyful
because you are being the authentic person you are meant to be.
All the choices and actions you take are done thoughtfully,
with your values and goals at the forefront of your mind.
Living mindfully on purpose enables you to live in gratitude
each and every moment in whatever way the moment unfolds.
The energy of mindfulness emerges when you stop grasping
for whatever you think you don’t have and accept what you do
have right now, in this very moment.
The Seventh Action Step in The Law of Sobriety is:
Learning to Let Go of Resistance and Attachments
The final step of the Law of Sobriety is learning how to let go of your
attachment to the idea that your life ought to be a certain way, and to let go of
resistance to who you really are.
 When you live with the Law of Sobriety as your guidepost, you are able to
deal with whatever is in front of you because you are not attached to having
things turn out exactly as you imagined them.
When you let go of the way you believe things are supposed to be, you free
yourself from negativity—the perpetual disappointment, doubt, and frustration
that come when things don’t turn out as you thought they would.
When you let go of your attachment to a false sense of who you are and
what your life should be, you invite positive energy into your life.
What does it mean to resist the reality of who you are? If you
continue believing that the next time you use drugs or drink the
outcome will be different, you are refusing to accept the part of your
true self that cannot control your alcohol or drug use. Instead, you are
embracing a false self that does not embody your authentic nature.
Acknowledging the reality of your disease is not a prison sentence,
but rather a personal truth.
The Law of Sobriety works best when you recognize your true self.
Making the shift from wanting things to be different to being honest
with yourself about how things truly are enables you to take actions
that are constructive and energizing.
Only when you make that shift can you attract all you desire in life.
Questions
and
Answers
Thank You
For Your Time and Attention