Transcript Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Mirror, Mirror on
the Wall …
Southern Central
Counseling Association
December 7, 2012
Dr. Susan R. Rose, Ph.D., NCC
Agenda
8:30 – 8:40
8:40 – 8:55
Meet & Greet/Introductions
Introduction of Body Image
• Positive and Negative Body Image
8:55 – 9:55
How Body Image is Formed
•
•
•
•
•
9:55 – 10:05
10:05 – 10:15
Break
Statistics
•
10:15 – 10:25
10:25 – 11:00
Diets and Dollars
Body Image & Disordered Eating
The Media
•
•
•
•
11:00 – 11:15
11:15 – 11:30
Life Experience
Feelings & Mood
Imagination
Environment
Self-Esteem/Self-Concept
Messages from the Media
Example from Figi
Media Statistics
Media Techniques/Manipulation
Changing the Thought Process
Questions/Comments/Concerns
Introduction
• We are not born with a body image; it is
learned.
– Our culture consistently communicates that
we don’t “measure up”.
– Insecurity about appearance has become a
global norm.
Antecedent
Behavior
Consequence
A Positive Body Image Is
1
A clear and true perception about one’s
body and physical characteristics.
2
3
4
Appreciating and caring for your body.
Accepting others holistically
– not just their physical appearance.
Feeling comfortable and confident
in your own skin.
A Negative Body Image Is
An unaccepting perception of one’s body
(shape) and physical characteristics.
1
2
3
4
Believing you would be accepted
by others if you looked different.
Believing that others are better looking and liked
more because of their physical characteristics.
Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin
or, even worse, embarrassed around others.
How Body Image Is Formed
Imagination
Feelings &
Mood
Life
Experiences
Environment
Body Image
Self-Esteem/
Self-Concept
Life Experiences
• Schema Defined
– 1. a diagram, plan, or scheme.
• Synonyms: outline, framework, model.
– 2. an underlying organizational pattern or
structure; conceptual framework
• A schema provides the basis by which
someone relates to the events he or she
experiences.
Feelings & Mood: Perception
• Think about the models from the sixteenth
century. In their day, they were considered
the ultimate of perfection and beauty.
– Yet, they would have been a size 16 or bigger
in today’s society.
• Consider the ladies with their parasols at the
turn of the 19th century.
– Fair skin was the rage. A tan face and body
meant you had to work.
– Now, we all risk skin cancer for that same tan
skin. Once again, perception rules!
Feelings & Mood Activity: Gift
Feelings & Mood Activity: Gift
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
22 But
the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23
gentleness and self-control.
Feelings & Mood Activity: Gift
• Did you care how beautiful the package was?
– What was your primary concern?
• What was on the inside!
• That’s what our bodies are. They are simply the
package that carries us around. We are not the
package, but rather the personality on the inside.
Learn to appreciate that beautiful person just like
elementary children!
• When I leave this old world, I surely hope that I am
remembered for more than the package.
• Let’s stop and think for a minute, what do you want
your legacy to be?
– That’s what creates our self-esteem – those lasting
things we do, not the body that we see.
Imagination
• Imagination
– Who is Norma Jean Mortenson-Baker?
Imagination: Your Own or Somebody Else’s
• In today’s society, she would shop in the “plus size”
section as she was a size 14. But, in her day, she
gained fame from a society that glamorized the curvy
figure.
– Here again, perception rules!
• The tragedy happens when we look deeper to see the
personal perception that Marilyn had of herself.
– Whether you believe that she committed suicide or was
murdered, the fact remains that she was unhappy.
• She was always reaching to fit into that “Beautiful People”
group or the “Success Regime”.
• The sad fact was that she had already arrived.
– The brass ring was not obtainable for her because of her
self-image.
Imagination: Other Examples
• We can think of several such figures
throughout history and within the modern day
society.
– Discussion: Who are some of these figures that
allowed their imagination to either allow their
success or “demise”?
Environment
• A major factor: the message we receive from our parents.
• To a great extent, our body image comes from the physical and
emotional input we received as children.
• Although media driven images and expectations certainly have
an effect, messages from significant others have an even more
dramatic impact on how we feel physically and emotionally
about our bodies as adults.
– Our parents have the most profound effect on our body
image.
• If they like how we look and tell us so, we face the world with a
head start.
• If, on the other hand, our parents dislike our appearance, our
body image will be tremendously influenced in a negative way.
(Engel, 2006)
Environment: Example
• Barbara Streisand [Jay Carr (1996), The Boston
Globe].
– She said, “It’s actually my mother who never told me I
was pretty. The words in the film The Mirror Has Two
Faces are her words when I asked her what I looked like
when I was a little girl. You know we play out the roles
that our parents assign to us. I was the smart kid. I was
the funny kid. My sister was the pretty kid. We play our
roles until we come into a state of consciousness that
says, ‘I will separate from my parents’ view of me’ once
you get mature enough. That’s what’s wonderful about
getting older. You’re not stuck in the mud of the
pattern. You make your choices.”
Environment: Example
• My husband replied to me one day
when I fell into the trap of comparing
myself to another, “Don’t be so
insecure. It doesn’t look good on you.”
– What he meant by this was to
remember who I was: I was his wife,
the mother of his children. Do not be
so foolish as to think that he had
chosen second best for himself.
– I am lucky because he reminds me
of this each and every time I fall into
this line of thinking that I “so
affectionately” call the Rudolph
Syndrome.
Environment: The Rudolph Syndrome
•
Rudolph was given a special gift.
–
–
This could have made him feel “puffed up” or
conceited.
But, he allowed the other reindeer (Those in his
Environment) to cause him to feel ashamed of his gift.
•
•
•
The other reindeer “never let him play”.
He allowed the others to make him feel less than the rest.
– When we begin comparing ourselves, we allow others to
pull us down with them.
What is your “Rudolph gift”?
–
–
Find these gifts and make the most of them for yourself
and your students.
Remember who you are!
•
Whoever you are, you can count on being special to
someone.
Environment: Another Example
• One of my favorite stories is from my daughter.
– One day, when she was a mere preschooler, she looked at
me and said, “Mom, will I look like you when I grow up?”
– At that time, she looked so much like me that I said, “Yes,
honey, I’m sorry, but you will.”
– She threw her hands up as if in a cheer and said, “Yes!”
– That was the biggest compliment I have ever received. She
loved me enough to want to look just like me.
• This love is most important as Rudolph taught us. When
Rudolph accepted his nose and loved himself, others did as
well.
– Now, lest we forget, we know that Rudolph was a fictional
character. Still, the moral of his story is significant for us
today. Because he accepted himself right down to what
others considered his faults, he “went down in history”. We
cannot love others fully if we do not first love ourselves.
Environment: Getting Out of the Muck
• Eliminate the negative, accentuate the positive
• Be accepting of others, so that we can learn to accept
ourselves and teach our students to accept themselves!
– Have you ever wondered why some people turn heads
when they enter a room?
• Because they are the most beautiful or magnificent?
– Then, why don’t all people of the same category turn heads?
• And – a more difficult question – why do some people
whom society would deem merely average also turn
heads?
– The answer this time – it’s the presence.
• Attitude rules! It’s confidence that counts.
– Their own perceptions of themselves breed a positive attitude that is
inviting and contagious.
– We need to unload our bags of negativity before we can
move on to help our students.
Activity: Facing Our Negativity so we can
accentuate the Positive
• Before we move on to Self-Esteem, let’s promise
that beautiful self that you will not put it through any
emotional threatening molds or moods again!
–
The truest form of tragedy is when others can
recognize your gifts, while you cannot.
• Allow those compliments and that praise from those
who love you to set the stage for you.
• This is a primary step in helping your students,
because they see themselves as reflections of you.
• Now, write at least five good things about your body
image. Pull out more paper when you need it.
(Notice I said “when”, not “if”.)
Activity Discussion
• We live up to self-fulfilling prophecy.
– If someone we loved and respected (their
counselor or teachers) told us we were
valued and beautiful, then we believed it.
– This gift of a positive self-image can be
given at any time in a person’s life by
almost any body.
– If a person does not receive affirmation of
a positive self-image, they can develop it
on their own.
– This activity provides that outlet for you.
• Be the one to love yourself enough to give
yourself that gift.
Self-Esteem/Self-Concept: Factors to Consider
There are four main components to an individuals
self-concept of their body.
Visual
How you
see
yourself
Emotional
How you
feel about
your body
Mental
Kinesthetic
What you
believe to
be true
about your
body
How you
feel inside
of your
skin
Self-Esteem/Self-Concept: Let’s Talk About It
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence
but it comes from within. It is there all the time." ~ Anna Freud
• We must first heal ourselves before we can help
others.
– Your body image and the way you feel and care about your
body is an essential part of your overall sense of self worth
and level of self-esteem, therefore improving your body
image can help you make lasting and meaningful
improvements to your overall self-image and vice versa.
– For many people, low self-esteem is caused by a negative
body image, while for others it is low self-esteem that comes
first and the negative body image that follows.
• Does your body say, “I feel really good about myself” or does
it say, “I feel really inferior about myself?”
Self-Esteem/Self-Concept: Reflection
• Just as every little thing is beautiful in its own way, so are all of us.
– Each house with its unique structure is lived in and wanted by
someone.
– Each perfume, with its distinctive smell is purchased, worn and
appreciated by someone.
– Each flower with its special blossom smells sweet and appears
beautiful to someone.
• Even dandelions are enjoyed by children!
– Each animal with its distinguished character and look is cherished by
someone.
• Even Pumba, the warthog, is cute in his own way. And, he
teaches a wonderful lesson in “Akuna Matata”. Just listen to the
words.
– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOPm0GqthGY
Statistics
• 42% of 1st – 3rd grade girls want to be thinner.
• 45% of boys and girls in grades 3 – 6 want to be
thinner.
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.
• A study found that 53% of 13-year-old American
girls are unhappy with their bodies.
– This number grows to 78% by the time girls reach 17.
• About 7% of 12 grade males have used steroids in
order to become more muscular.
• One out of every 5 college aged woman has an
eating disorder.
• It is estimated that 40-50% of American women are
trying to lose weight in any point in time.
Statistics
• In 2007, there were about 11.7 million cosmetic
procedures performed in the U.S.
– 91% of those were performed on women.
• The average American woman is 5’4” tall and
weighs 140 pounds.
• Twenty years ago, models weighed 8% less than
the average woman.
– Today, they weigh 23 % less than the average
woman.
– The average American model is 5”11” tall and
weighs 117 pounds.
Statistics: Diets and Dollars
The diet
industry is a
MULTI-BILLION
dollar industry
with a 99%
failure rate!
25% of
American
Men and 45%
of American
Women are
on a diet on
any given
day.
$$$
The Diet
Wars
The Diet
Wars
$$$
46% of 9-11
year old are
“sometimes” or
“very often” on
diets. 82% of
their families are
“sometimes” or
“very often” on
diets.
Americans
spend over
$40 billion
on dieting
and dietrelated
products
each year.
Body Image & Disordered Eating
• Negative body image can lead to disordered
eating and/or eating disorders.
• Having a negative body image does not mean an
eating disorder exists.
• What are eating disorders?
–
–
–
–
Anorexia
Bulimia
Binge Eating Disorder
EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)
• Obesity and Body Image
– Overweight children/teens are most negatively
impacted by body image concerns
– Obesity issues are multi-faceted
Normalcy
• Fat is common table talk
• Size discrimination is often the reason
students are bullied and directly correlated
with significantly lower self-esteem
• The inherent goal of most teenagers is to
fit in.
– Often, teens will go to extremes to feel
included.
There is
Something
Wrong with
You …
And we’ll fix
it!
If you buy
Messages
from the
Media
our product,
You will be
better!
Example from Figi
•
Ellen Goodman (1999) writes of the “Joy of Fat” in this remote
country. The women greet each other with cheerful exchanges
of ritual compliments of “You look wonderful! You’ve put on
weight!”
•
In Fiji, before 1995, big was beautiful and bigger was more
beautiful.
–
–
–
Food was not only love, it was a cultural imperative.
•
Eating and overeating were rites of mutual hospitality.
Everyone worried about losing weight.
•
“Going thin” was considered to be a sign of some social
problem – a worrisome indication the person wasn’t getting
enough to eat.
But, something happened in 1995. A Western mirror was
shoved into the face of the Fijian people. Television came to
the island.
Example from Figi cont.
•
Within 38 months, the number of teens at risk for eating
disorders more than doubled to 29 percent.
–
–
•
The number of high school girls who vomited for weight
control went up five times to 15 percent.
74 percent of the Fiji teens in the study said they felt “too big
or fat” at least some of the time, and 62 percent said they had
dieted in the past month. (Goodman, 1999)
While a direct causal link between television, magazines,
advertisements and eating disorders cannot be proven, this is
certainly a good argument.
–
–
–
The beautiful starlet does not cause anorexia.
Nor does the pencil thin fashion magazine model cause
bulimia.
Nevertheless, you don’t get a much better lab experiment
than this.
•
In just 38 months, a television-free culture that defined a fat person
as robust has become a television culture that sees robust as
repulsive.
Media Statistics
• By the time adolescents graduate from high
school, they will have spent about 15,000 hours
with the media and 12,000 hours in school.
• The average 8 – 18 year old in the United States
spends almost 6 ½ hours consuming media in a
typical day.
• Marketing strategies exploit consumer’s
tendencies to distort their body images by preying
on insecurities and appearance.
• 1 out of every 3.8 commercials sends some type
of “attractiveness message”.
Computer Retouching
Katie Couric didn’t ask for this to be done!
Computer Retouching
• And More:
• http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2067474/Backreality-Computer-program-shows-EXACTLY-imagesmagazine-photoshopped.html
Other Media Techniques
Product
Placement
CoBranding
Food
Marketing
Immersive
Advertising
Contests
Media Manipulation
• Promises of “quick fixes” and “immediate results”
• Expensive and extravagant lighting
• Body part replacement
• Using celebrities to sell a product
• Vanity sizing
• Propaganda and bombardment
• Subliminal messages
Changing the Thought Process
• We must all love our bodies – no matter what our
differences are!
– The important focus should be on a healthy body,
healthy self-image and a positive attitude!
• Your self-worth is not defined by the packaging!
• The truest form of tragedy is when others
can recognize your gifts, while you cannot.
• Attitude rules! It’s confidence that counts.
• People with a positive self-image have one thing
in common: the ability to leave baggage behind.
– They don’t allow insignificant people to determine
their self-worth.
Focus on the Positive/Celebrate the “Good”
The Dove® Campaign for Real Beauty
• http://www.dove.us/S
ocialMission/campaignfor-real-beauty.aspx
Questions, Comments, Thoughts
References
Brooks, R. (1991). The Self-Esteem Teacher. American
Guidance Service.
Carr, Jay. (Boston Globe). Streisand looks in mirror, See a
funny girl. The Courier Journal. Louisville, Kentucky.
November 17, 1996.
Engel, B. (2006, February 24). Working together to create an
abuse free future. Retrieved January 31, 2008, from Beverly
Engel’s Newsletter.
<http://www.beverlyengel.com/newsletter/2-24-2006.htm>.
Goodman, E. (May 1999). The Joy of Fat. The Courier
Journal. Louisville, Kentucky.
Statistics: dosomething.org
Studenmund, G. (June 1999). When weight gain is the goal.
American Health.
Dr. Susan R. Rose, Ph.D., NCC
[email protected]
www.counselingtoday.com