Transcript The How of Happiness - Colorado State University

The How of Happiness
Based on the research of
Sonja Lyubomirsky
What would make you happier?
Jot yours down…..
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Relationship?
Looking younger?
A new job?
An extra bedroom?
A more attractive spouse?
A baby?
Losing Weight?
Relief from your backache?
Your child excelling in school?
Knowing what you really want to do with your life?
More Money?
Think of your three happiest
moments of your whole life
What Determines Happiness?
• 50% Genetics
3 Reasons to be pessimistic about
increasing happiness
1. We’re all born with a genetically-determined
“set point” for happiness –
Research from behavioral genetics compares
identical twins raised apart.
2. Happiness is a life-long trait –
Like a personality, happiness shows stability
across your lifetime. If it’s part of personality,
can we still change it?
3. “Hedonic Adaptation” – We adapt to all
things positive
We are good at adapting to and getting used
to changes over time.
(Study of 2,000 Germans before, during and
after marriage. The “Marital boost” lasted
about two years, and then people returned to
their set point.)
• 10% Circumstances: Wealth, beauty, health,
marriage, prestige, power, etc.
“We’re running faster and faster, but we seem to
end up in exactly the same place.”
--the Red Queen, in “Through the Looking
Glass.”
So Why Bother???
• 40% Unexplained positive behaviors we can
do.
Think of your happiest moments.
What are the common denominators?
40% is a LOT to mess with!
Happiness behaviors can be
cultivated!
Research Shows that Happy People:
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Nurture and enjoy their social relationships
Are comfortable expressing gratitude
Are often the first to help others
Practice optimism about the future
Savor pleasures and live in the present
moment
• Make physical activity a habit
• Are often spiritual or religious
• Are deeply committed to meaningful goals
Happy people tend to do these things.
Happiness is about ways we act and think and
goals we follow
Happiness Behaviors
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Expressing Gratitude
Cultivating Optimism
Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison
Practicing Acts of kindness
Nurturing Relationships
Developing strategies for Coping
Learning to forgive
Doing more activities that truly engage you
Savoring life’s joys
Committing to your Goals
Practicing religion and Spirituality
Taking Care of your Body
225 Studies on the Benefits of
Happiness:
Happy People:
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Are more productive at work and more creative
Make more money and have superior jobs
Are better leaders and negotiators
Are more likely to marry and to have fulfilling
marriages, and less likely to divorce
Have more friends and social support
Have stronger immune systems, are physically
healthier, and even live longer
Are more helpful and philanthropic
Cope better with stress and trauma
Expressing Gratitude
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Promotes the savoring of positive life experiences
Bolsters self worth and self esteem
Helps people cope with stress and trauma
Encourages moral behavior
Helps build social bonds, strengthening existing
relationships and nurturing new ones
• Inhibits envious comparisons with others
• Helps us thwart Hedonic adaptation
How to Practice Gratitude
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Gratitude Journal
Think about your objects of Gratitude
Keep the strategy fresh
Express gratitude directly - conversations,
letters
• Naikan Practice
Cultivating Optimism
• Not only about celebrating the present and
the past but anticipating a bright future
• “Big Optimism”
• “Little Optimism”
• Optimism has to do with the way we explain
events to ourselves – attribution. Depressed
people ruminate and make things pervasive,
personal and permanent.
Practicing Optimism
• Best Possible future self exercise – Imagine
yourself in the future, after everything has gone
as well as it possible could. You have worked hard
and succeeded at accomplishing all your life
goals. Think of this as the realization of your life
dreams and of your own best potentials.
-- randomly assigned subjects experienced increase
in positive moods several weeks later and
reported fewer physical ailments several months
later.
• Best Possible Selves diary
• Goals and sub goals diary
• Identify barrier thoughts – put a penny in a jar
every time you have a pessimistic thought.
Replace that thought with a more charitable or
favorable thought
• Make “kind guesses”
-- what else could this situation or experience
mean?
-- Can anything good come from it?
--Does it present any opportunities for me?
--What lessons can I learn and apply to the future?
--Did I develop any strengths as a result?
Practicing Optimism through writing
• Enables you to recognize that it is in your
power to transform yourself and to work
toward valued goals.
• Writing is highly structured so it prompts you
to organize and integrate and analyze your
thoughts together in a coherent manner.
• Opportunity to learn about yourself, your
priorities, emotions, identity, etc.
Optimistic thinking:
• Confidence prompts investing effort
• More likely to persevere
• Prompts us to engage in active and effective
coping.
• Optimists maintain better mental health even in
times of stress (Optimistic women less likely to be
depressed following childbirth)
• Promotes positive mood and high morale
• Less depression and anxiety
Optimism is not self deception. It is about
choosing to punctuate a situation positively.
Research shows that optimists are more, not
less, vigilant of risks and threats. It's not about
blinders.
“Flexible optimism” does not mean that we
don’t own up or have clear sight when the
situation calls for it.
Avoiding Over thinking and Social
Comparison
• Over thinking (ruminating) ushers in a host of
adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens
sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking,
impairs a person’s ability to solve problems,
saps motivation and interferes with
concentration and initiative.
In 15 Seconds Complete the Following Words
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People recently told they “failed” a
fake laboratory experiment were more
likely to fill in the blanks with:
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DUMB
LOSER
IDIOT
EMBARASS
Social Comparison
• Distract yourself from such thinking – redirect
your attention
• Act to solve problems
• Dodge over thinking triggers – learn
relaxation/meditation
• Control what you can
Investing in Social Connections