Transcript Slide 1

SEAL RELATIONSHIPS
STAFFROOM ACTIVITIES
SEAL RELATIONSHIPS WORKSHOP
Presenter: SEAL Team
RELATIONSHIPS –
KEY POINTS FOR ACTIVITIES
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See Purple Set – Relationships – Staffroom
Activities
Designed to be carried out in the staff room to
help adults tune into the strands of the theme at
an adult level
– Opportunity for participants to experience at
first hand some of the activities children will
be engaging with at different stages, prior to
introducing to staff in school
– Health warning – sensitive issues
– Theme deals with loss. It is likely that there
will be members of staff who have
experienced recent loss – emotions could be
very raw – know your audience – allow for
withdrawal– how will you support?
– Important for staff to identify, acknowledge,
explore and reflect on their own emotions
and responses to loss before working with
the children
RELATIONSHIPS – BUILDING ON PREVIOUS
THEME – GOOD TO BE ME
• Builds on (and underpinned by) Key Ideas
from previous Theme – Good to Be Me
• Building emotional resilience
• Coping with anxiety and worrying
• Calming down
• Understanding feelings and how they
influence our behaviour
GOOD TO BE ME – Building Emotional
Resilience
Children need to become resilient if they are to
be healthy and effective life long learners
RELATIONSHIPS – WHY TEACH ABOUT
LOSS?
• Not a
comfortable
subject –
so we need
to be clear
about why
we need to
teach it
‘Death is one of the greatest taboos. It
doesn’t square with our worship of youth,
but the truth, after all, is that we are all
terminally ill. Once we recognise that, we
can enjoy the life we have left.’
Elizabeth Kubler Ross, 1982 (From Good
Grief, By Barbara Ward and Jamie
Houghton).
RELATIONSHIPS – WHY TEACH ABOUT LOSS?
SOME STATISTICS
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One in three marriages ends in divorce: within the school community
there will be many individuals who have suffered loss through the
break-up of family relationships.
One quarter to one third of children, following a significant loss,
have been found to be overactive or aggressive or to destroy
property.
Growing evidence linking childhood loss with adult depression,
anxiety and alcoholism.
Recent study found that 70% of children permanently excluded
from school had experienced a significant family bereavement.
Research by Youth Justice Board found that 54% of young
offenders had experienced the death of a friend or close family
member in the two years before their offence.
RELATIONSHIPS – WHY TEACH ABOUT
LOSS?
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Relatively few children are
bereaved BUT...
Most will experience
significant losses of other
kinds during their childhood –
e.g.
Losing a home
Losing a pet
Changing schools
Losing friends because of
moving house or changing
schools
Leaving their country
RELATIONSHIPS – WHY TEACH ABOUT LOSS?
By helping children learn how to express and manage their
feelings, you are helping them to remain emotionally healthy and
to engage with learning more effectively
Social and
emotional
aspects of
learning
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Slide 1.6
Relationships - Activity One – Types of Loss
Links: Based on Activity for Children in Green Set Year 6
Resources:
Cards with the following written on them, and blank cards on
which to write
additional ideas
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Moving House
Changing schools or jobs
A pet dying
A grandparent dying
Falling out with a friend
Losing a favourite possession
Having an accident that means you will never be able to run again
Leaving your country
Breaking up with a best friend
Flip chart paper and Felts
Relationships Activity One – Types of Loss
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What to do:
Work in pairs
Read through the cards and add any ideas about additional losses on
the blank cards
Place the cards in order, according to how bad you might feel if these
things happened to you
Now work together as a whole-staff group to generate as many ideas
as you can for a spider diagram showing the types of loss that children
may experience in their lives
In groups choose one or two types of loss from your spider diagram
and consider:
How you already support children who have suffered this type of loss
How the school currently supports children who have suffered this type
of loss
What the school might do differently and what more is it reasonable for
the school to do to support children who have suffered this type of loss
Relationships - Activity 2
Feelings of Grief 1
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Resources:
Copies of the speech bubble game from the Green Set Year 6
Background:
Grief reactions vary but there is a consensus that there are
different phases that many people go through when they suffer a
significant loss.
These can be seen as a progression from one phase to another
starting with shock, disbelief and denial, and ending with
acceptance.
People who have experienced loss will say that the route is not
direct, that there are many times when they regress to an earlier
stage and, even once they feel they have accepted the loss, there
are times when they are overwhelmed by despair and distress.
Reactions to loss are highly individual, and there is no right or
normal way to grieve.
Relationships - Activity 2
Feelings of Grief 2
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We have called the feelings associated with significant loss the
‘feelings of grief’
Phase
Associated Thoughts and Feelings
Disbelief
Shock, denial, numbness and disbelief
Recognising the loss
Yearning, anger, guilt, sadness, despair,
pain and distress
Realisation
Sadness, hopelessness and depression
Acceptance
Coming to terms with the loss. The full
range of feelings
What to do:
Using copies of the speech bubble page from the Green Set, Year 6, in which
characters express different feelings about a loss, identify which phase of the
feelings of grief they are operating within.
Relationships - Activity 3
Loss through separation and divorce 1
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This activity is suggested to help staff support children who have
experienced loss through parental separation or divorce.
Maintaining emotional safety when tackling this issue will be
important, as will exploring your own personal experiences before
working with children.
Resources:
Copy of the story Wils or Pilgrim from the Blue set resource sheets
Flipchart and pens
Background:
This activity is based on the techniques used in the Philosophy for Children
approach.
More information in the Guidance Booklet from the Whole-School SEAL
Resource (Appendix 6 ‘Communities of enquiry)
Relationships – Activity 3
Loss through separation and divorce - 2
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What to do:
Volunteer(s) should read the story of Wils or Pilgrim to the group
In pairs, agree a question that you think you would like to explore
deeply, based upon the story. (If the group is small, a thought shower
might be used to generate questions). You might particularly think
about how the story provides an allegory for separation and divorce.
The questions should be written on a flipchart.
When all the groups have written up their question, the whole group
should choose, by voting, a question they would like to explore.
One person should act as a facilitator. Their role should be to support
the discussion by prompting people to keep to the question and, if they
feel confident enough, to ask facilitative questions.
The pair whose question was chosen might start the discussion by
explaining why they thought of this question and what they thought
answers might include.
Relationships Activity 4 – Setting the ground
rules for working with children in distress and
maintaining emotional safety - 1
Resources:
• Copy of the handout What are the worst things that could happen
when we try to help?
• Flipchart or Whiteboard
Background:
• As adults we are often worried about talking to children about
their loss, especially if the loss is due to bereavement.
• However, talking about loss is often useful to a child, as it makes
it feel normal and acceptable rather than something too horrible
and scary to mention.
• This activity is designed to challenge some of our fears by asking
the question: ‘What is the worst that could happen?’
Relationships Activity 4 – Setting the ground
rules for working with children in distress
and maintaining emotional safety - 2
• What to do:
• First thought shower some of those fears by asking the
question:
• What is the worst that could happen?
• Record responses on the whiteboard or flipchart
• In groups choose a fear from the thought-showered list and
discuss the following questions about the fear:
• How might we avoid this?
• What should we do if our fear does happen?
• The ideas might be shared with the whole group and written up
as a chart for reference.
Relationships - Activity 5:
What are we doing now?
What else could we do?
What to do:
Reflect together on the following questions:
• What have you learned from the activities?
• What five or six principles should the school have when
considering how to support children who have suffered loss?
Note: These principles should be designed to ensure the emotional
safety and well-being of the adults and children involved.
In groups, look back at the spider diagram you made during Activity
1. Use this to agree some of your key approaches to supporting
children in dealing with loss – some that you are already doing
and others that you intend to do.
When does a child need extra support?
• No easy answer to this
• Principle to use when considering what the child
might need is to consider what is the least intrusive
intervention that might be effective.
• When considering the individual, you might like to
answer these questions:
• Are the feelings associated with loss preventing the
child from learning and taking part in school life?
• Is the child’s behaviour a concern to themselves and
to others?
When does a child need extra support? 2
• Does the child seem excessively distressed and
unhappy?
• Does the child seem lethargic, depressed and
hopeless?
• Has the child asked for help?
• Have you tried to support the child within the class
and within the school’s own resources?
• Have you spoken to the child’s parents/carers? What
are their views?
• Does the child want additional help?
Do we need to know more?
• Children’s Services’ support to schools where bereavement has
been a particular issue for the whole school community. Contact
Paul Nicklin, School Psychological Service
• Make sure that all staff know about the organisations and
websites that can help them when they are supporting children
who have experienced loss.
• www.itsnotyourfault.org A website to support and inform
children whose parents are separating or divorcing
• www.childbereavement.org.uk The website of the Child
Bereavement Trust, which publishes a helpful information pack
called Supporting Bereaved Children in School
• www.rd4u.org.uk A website for children and young people who
have been bereaved and want news and information designed
for them
• www.childline.org.uk Offers a chance for children and young
people to talk in confidence about their feelings and emotions
More Information
• www.winstonswish.org.uk Provides resources for schools and
grief support programmes for children
• www.ncb.org.uk/cbn The National Children’s Bureau’s Child
Bereavement Network: a database of organisations that offer
services to bereaved children as well as guidelines for best
practice
• www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk Provides resources for
parents and teachers about how children cope with
bereavement, divorce and separation.
• Supporting Bereaved Children – A Handbook – Diane
MacBrairdy
• Bradford Context – Available from the Bradford Interfaith Centre