Transcript Cognitive-Behavioral Approaches to Balance

Cognitive-Behavioral
Approaches to Balance
Facilitated by Robert
Bircher
1
How Thinking Creates
Your Mood
• Your thinking creates your feelings and
much of your thinking (about things you
get emotional about) is inaccurate, thus
creating unnecessary and useless suffering
• CBT-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a
highly effective way to change how you
feel
• It is very simple in theory and much more
difficult in practice-basically it involves
changing the stories you tell yourself,
especially when you are upset or
depressed
2
What is Thinking?
• Thinking and consciousness are
very different things-when you
were born and until you learned to
talk you were aware of what was
going on but at that point you
have nothing to think about
• You then learned to talk which
involves conceptualizing-that
rubber thing is a “ball”-that is my
toy
• “Thinking” then begins usually in
the form of silent monologues or
dialogues within your mind
3
Changing Your Thinking
• Thinking is a part of consciousness, albeit
only a small part, but it can easily take
over or hijack your consciousness to the
point where you begin to believe you are
what you think rather than the truth which
is that your mind endlessly spins stories
about reality some are accurate some are
not
• The problem begins when we tell
ourselves a story and we accept it as fact
or believe it is the TRUTH
4
Changing Your Thinking
• Our thinking, accurate or not, creates
feelings which are very real-e.g.-Thoughts
of loss or rejection will create feelings of
sadness-Thoughts that things should be
different than they are produce thoughts of
frustration etc.
• Most of our thinking is automatic and is
heavily conditioned from the past-if your
mom said-”You are tone deaf and will
never learn music or to play musical
instruments” you may actually believe it
and shy away from any opportunities that
would question or disagree with that
belief
5
Changing your Thinking
• “Nothing is either good or bad but
thinking makes it so” Shakespeare
had it right
• We live in a culture that loves to
blame others-it is repeatedly
reinforced that the problem is
“outside ourselves” and has
nothing to do with our own
behavior or thinking
• This is why it is difficult to shift
the focus to the idea that we create
our own reality
6
Reality and My Story
• Because we are so identified with our
story about reality we forget it is just a
story and is often inaccurate
• What happens in our world is just a
circumstance and is neutral e.g. I gained 5
pounds over Christmas-is just a fact and if
we relate to this alone we can make
sensible choices
• We can make up a story complete with
emotions which amp up the story etc. ”I
am a fat, undisciplined, lazy slob who is
totally unattractive and will never lose this
extra weight” is a story and is full of
distortions or lies
7
Relating to my Story
• This belief may result in sadness
or anger or depression resulting in
more eating to soothe the
emotional pain we have created
• We now have 2 things to deal
with: 5 pounds of extra
bodyweight (reality) and a painful
story about that fact (distortion)
• Dealing with reality is always
empowering-dealing with a
distortion creates a lot of
unnecessary suffering and may
slow down or impair or block
dealing with the situation 8
Cognitive Distortions
• These stories that we make up are called
cognitive distortions-a list of the most
common ones is attached-read this and
notice your favorites
• Usually the first things you think about
after a distressing situation are
conditioned from the past and are called
automatic thoughts which create
predictable feelings
• You can learn to change your stories or
interpretations of reality to more accurate
and less painful thoughts, these are called
rational responses
9
Cognitive Distortions
• For many people who are
depressed or anxious much of
their thinking is distorted-it is
quite a shock for most people,
especially lawyers, to discover
that most of their thinking is
distorted-it occurs irrespective of
education or intelligence
• In addition most of the distortions
are negative, repetitive and
useless, no positive change
results-just obsession and worry
10
Distorted Thinking
Creates Real Suffering
• Even though the thoughts are distorted the
consequent pain and suffering are very
real
• This is how a situation is created where a
person who seems to have everything (a
movie star) is depressed unhappy or
addicted-their internal reality is distorted
• Some people can have positive distortions
which are less problematic since they feel
great about them-I call this the “Forrest
Gump” effect-some politicians and CEO’s
have this-they may be much less
important or useful than they believe
themselves to be
11
Mood Log
• Mood Log Example-My 1992 Acura car
failed the air care test
• Emotion-Anger 7/10-Frustration6/10
Disappointment5/10 Fear 4/10
• Automatic Thoughts-What kind of
government crap is this? I may need a new
engine-my car isn’t worth a new enginethese mechanics will shaft me, replacing
all kinds of parts I don’t need, I feel like a
loser-I should have a newer car at my agethis always happens to me
• Check the sheet and identify the
distortions
12
Mood Log
• Rational Responses: these are
replacement beliefs-they must be
acceptable to you and believable
• For example-I probably only need
a minor repair-my car will run
better anyway-the mechanics have
never shafted me in the past-it will
reduce pollution-it is a minor
inconvenience-my car has a
problem not me -this reduces my
stress considerably
13
Mood Log Exercise
• Do a Mood log of your own now,
pick an event you are willing to
talk about with another
• Get into groups of 3 and go over
your log
• If you do these exercises (in
writing) a lot you can gradually
get to the point where you can
alter your stories quickly-this we
do in our Burns Group
14
CBT in ActionProcrastination
• Procrastination is a problem for
many Lawyers-lets do the
procrastination test
• Procrastination is more than a bad
habit, it goes much deeper than
that – it is a symptom of cognitive
distortions
• Procrastinators believe motivation
comes before action, “I’ll do it
when I feel like it”. In fact, action
comes first you will feel like when
you start doing it-the more you do
the more you feel like doing
15
Procrastination
• Some procrastinators assume
things will be easy and when they
are not they give up easily-non
procrastinators assume there will
be failures and rejections along
the way and that is the way it isthus they rarely quit
• Perfectionism-This is common
among lawyers and is a major
cause of procrastinating-I need to
do it well or not at all-rather than
risk failure it gets put off
16
Perfectionism
• Perfectionists never “make it”-or
they feel they must be “special” or
they will be unlovable-or if a goal
is not reached they feel like a
failure
• Achievement needs to be
rewarded-procrastinators tell
themselves that they didn’t do it
well enough to be rewarded
• Should statements-”I really should
do this”-creates inner resentment
and guilt also it can fire off your
inner “rebel”
17
Why We Procrastinate
• Use “I could chose to do X” or “I chose
not to do X” turns “I should have cleaned
up my room” to “ I chose not to clean my
room”
• Unassertive Procrastinators-rather than
saying no you say yes-then show up late
or “forget” to do it. Rather than deal
directly with your feelings you do it by
your actions
• Passive aggressiveness -you are angry or
upset and deal with it through your actions
– “ forgetting” to take out the trash
because you are annoyed with your wife
for nagging you about doing it
18
Why we Procrastinate
• Lack of desire or interest -the
simple fact that you really, deep
down, don’t want to do it-but for
some reason you think you
“should” do it
• Some people actually don’t mind
a messy desk or house or yard but
think they “should” clean it, or
someone else suggests they do itthey then beat themselves up
• This is a real problem for
perfectionists
19
Prescriptions for
Procrastinators
• People procrastinate because their are
advantages to it-it is not a mystery!!
• For example-it’s easy, you can do
something more pleasurable, you can
avoid tedium, hard work and failure. You
can get back at those who are pressuring
you. Also there can be status in it-I’m
special I don’t have to work hard to be
successful
• There are many great benefits to
procrastination, hence its popularity!!-It is
quite rational-some procrastination is
beneficial in the sense you may not really
want to do it now or ever and you are
simply acting in accordance with your
authentic self
20
Prescriptions for
Procrastinators
• Disadvantages are usually more obvious-I
feel guilty about it, I lose respect for
myself etc.
• You may decide the disadvantages
outweigh the benefits in which case you
can decide not to do it-you are no longer
procrastinating-you have made a
decision!!
• You may decide it is in your best interest
to do it but you still “don’t feel like it”
this is a common distortion-you never will
feel like it-it works better to do it then feel
like it-action precedes interest!!!
21
Cost Benefit Analysis
• Lets do an analysis of something
you have been procrastinating on
the worksheet –then form into 3
groups and share
• Make it easy-make it small and
achievable
• Just plan to do 15-20 minutesoften just starting gets you
motivated
• How you talk yourself into
procrastination-Task interfering
cognitions-distortions-Task
oriented cognitions
22
TIC-TOC Method
• TIC-”I’ll never get my storeroom
cleaned, the junk has been piling
up for years”-distortion-fortune
telling-all or nothing thinking
• “I’ll do it when I feel like it”emotional reasoning
• Looking for a new career is
overwhelming-all or nothing
thinking
• Try the tic-toc method on an area
of procrastination
23