Transcript Related Services and Support Personnel

Win-Win in Conflict Settings
Subtitle: the hot potato
Conflict
• Power
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Legitimate (degree, certification)
Referent (consistent values = trust)
Charisma
Expertise (language)
Situational (post office clerk)
Sharing information = bond
• Overlapping Power Bases
– Lack of role clarity
– Attempts to increase power or influence
Dealing w/ Adult
Aggression
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Listen, use a warm tone, and don’t judge
As they speak louder, you speak softer
Match pace and intensity
Focus on the here and now
Write down what they say
– When they slow down ask what else is of concern to them
– Ask for clarification
– Show them the list and ask them if there are more
concerns.
– Ask them for suggestions for solving any of the problems
– Help them prioritize problems, identify options and
resources
• Irrational Thinking
Ability
• I must do well and get approval
• I or my child must have one talent
• People must achieve their full potential or
they are of little value
• Their must be one correct solution to my
problem(s)
 Interactions with others
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Others must treat me well and be fair
I must have approval from sign. Others
I need other to rely on
Others control events that make me feel
anxious, dependent, depressed, incompetent
 I can’t stand these emotions
 Things like justice,democracy, fairness must
prevail.
 Life Patterns
 Life must be easy, comfortable
 If events are too stressful, I must
continue to make myself upset
about this
 It is easier to avoid facing
difficulties than to face them
 I can do little to alter my problems
 My life should have a special
meaning
 I should be able to live as long as I
want to live
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Negotiation Moves:
Win Win
Nibbling
Hot potato
Appeal to higher authority
Set aside issue
Good guy/bad guy
Never say yes to the first offer
Don’t argue; always agree
Be modest
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Ask for more than you want
Visually react to the first offer
Ask for something in return right away
People believe what they see in writing
Congratulate the other negotiator;
encourage other to split difference
• Decoy or red herring
• Puppy dog technique
• Reluctant buyer or seller
Applications
ROLES:
1. CONFLICT GENERATOR (parent,
teacher, child)--you determine problem
2. CONSULTANT and CONFLICT
RESPONDER
3. OBSERVER/RECORDER and
SUMMARIZER
Applications
1. Parent who doesn’t want the child to
receive any positive recognition at school
because he isn’t doing well at home. Parent
comes to school to ask you to stop using
positives (i.e., she is a tough love proponent).
2. Johnny’s 5th grade teacher has been told
to use cooperative groups. S/he blames
Johnny for the fact that the groups flop.
Johnny is on your case load and the teacher
has come to talk with you about ‘your
student.’