Transcript Invitation Etiquette

Invitation Etiquette
http://www.party411.com/invitations.html
http://homegarden.expertvillage.com/experts/i
nvitation-etiquette.htm
Party Invitation
• When to Send Your Invitation
• Send your invitation two to three weeks in advance of
the dinner party.
• Send invitations out eight weeks before (especially to
out-of-town guests) your event. If you are planning a
non-profit event or a special event at a convention or
tradeshow, you may want to consider sending a savethe-date card in advance since people tend to book up
quickly! Save the Dates can be sent as much as 3
months in advance. Holiday weekends are especially
busy for everyone--so, if you're having a party to
celebrate a special event (such as a wedding or Bat
Mitzvah), be sure to get those invitations out early.
When to send out invitations?
http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/rude_situations.htm
The Event
Anniversary party
Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Bon Voyage party
Casual party
Charity Ball
Christmas party
Cocktail party
When to Invite
3 to 6 weeks
1 month
Last minute to 3 weeks
Same day to 2 weeks
6 weeks to 3 months
1 month
1 to 4 weeks
Debutante Ball
Formal dinner
Graduation party
Housewarming party
Informal dinner
Lunch or Tea
Thanksgiving dinner
6 weeks to 3 months
3 to 6 weeks
3 weeks
A few days to 3 weeks
A few days to 3 weeks
A few days to 2 weeks
2 weeks to 2 months
Informal Invitations
• It's absolutely fine to call
people up, and say :
'I am having a party in
a week. Can you
come?'
• For an informal invitation
you may do something
like this:
You are cordially invited for dinner
On Friday, October 7th
7 o'clock
Address
Your name
RSVP or please reply
your phone number
Formal Invitations
•
Wording your Invitation
1. All phrasing is in the third person.
2. Punctuation is not used at the ends of lines
(commas, periods, colons, etc.); however, commas
are used within lines to separate the day from the
date, the city from the state and a man's surname
from "Jr./junior/II/III," etc.
3. No abbreviations are used. Either spell out a name
or leave it out: "Mark Claude Manet" not "Mark C.
Manet." Also, "Road," "Street," "Avenue,"
"Reverend," "Doctor," and all military titles should
be spelled out. Exceptions are: "Mr." and "Mrs."
Wording your invitation—continued
4. If both Mr. and Mrs. Smith are doctors, they can
be referred to as "The Doctors Smith."
5. Days, dates, and times are always spelled out.
6. Only proper nouns are capitalized (names of
people and places, cities, states, name of the
day of the week, month name, etc.) Exceptions
are the year line ("Two thousand") or where
the noun is the beginning of a new sentence or
thought ("T" in "The favour of a reply is
requested" or "Reception to follow")
Wording your invitation—continued
7.
8.
Be consistent with your usage of "honour/favour" or
"honor/favor." Traditionally the formal, British spelling
with the "u" is preferred in proper wedding etiquette,
but whichever form you choose, use it in both words.
It is considered socially incorrect to write, "no children
please" on the invitation or any part of the wedding
ensemble. "Black tie" does not traditionally appear on
the invitation. If the event takes place after six o'clock,
your guests should assume that it is a formal event. If
you are concerned, however, you may write "Black tie"
as a right footnote on your reception card. Note: the
"B" in "Black tie" is capitalized, but not the "t."
Wording your invitation—continued
9.
It is considered extremely socially incorrect to make
any mention of gifts on invitations on the theory that
we should expect nothing from our friends except their
presence, therefore never list where you are
registered, the name of a charity for donations or your
desire for money rather than presents. The only slight
exception to this strict rule is for shower invitations
where it is permitted to list the theme of the gifts
("Linens", etc.) but never where one is registered or
any mention whatsoever of money.
Example of a formal invitation
Name (Ms. Cathleen Hanson)
Requests the pleasure of your company for
The event (dinner)
Date line (Friday, the seventh of October)
Time (at seven o'clock)
Address
Favor of reply is requested
How to address people on an invitation
It depends on how the people prefer to be
addressed.
• Some people prefer to be addressed with their
husband's name - "Mr. & Mrs. Robert Boon".
• Some people would prefer to have their name as well "Mr. Robert and Mrs. Virginia Boon".
• Sometimes, the woman would have a higher title than
the man - "Dr. & Mr. Lee". Or, it could be "Dr. Cynthia
Lee and Mr. Douglas Perry".
• A couple that is not married would have their names on
separate lines.
Information on Dress Code
You should list any dress required of the guests in the lower
right hand corner of the invitation.
• "Semiformal" usually means that a man or woman can
choose a more laid-back outfit, such as dress slacks
instead of a dress or suit.
• "Black Tie" or "Formal" usually signifies tuxedoes for the
men and dresses for the women.
• "White Tie" is the most formal evening wear. It means,
just what its name implies, for a man - white tie, wing
collar and tailcoat. For a woman a long elegant gown
should be worn. White tie is advised for only the most
diplomatic or dramatic occasions.
• If you go too far in your dress code people may not feel
comfortable enough to enjoy themselves.
Drinks to the party
• If you want others to bring their own drinks to the
dinner party, you can put "BYOB" on the
invitation. This stands for "bring your own bottle"
and guests can bring a favorite drink of their
choice to share.
• If you are planning a potluck, you can also put
this on the invite. It is advisable to assign
specific dishes for people to bring, so that you
don't end up with a lot of side casseroles and no
main courses or vice-versa.
RSVP
• From the French, it means “Répondez, s’il
vous plaît,” or, “Please reply.”
• This little code has been around for a long
time and it’s definitely telling you that your
hosts want to know if you are attending.
Reply promptly, within a day or two of
receiving an invitation.
How do I respond?
Reply in the manner indicated on the invitation.
• RSVP and no response card: a handwritten response to
the host at the return address on the envelope.
• Response Card: fill in and reply by the date indicated
and return in the enclosed envelope.
• RSVP with phone number: telephone and make sure to
speak in person – answering machines can be
unreliable.
• RSVP with email: you may accept or decline
electronically.
• Regrets only: reply only if you cannot attend. If your host
doesn’t hear from you, he is expecting you!
• No reply requested? Unusual, but it is always polite to let
someone know your intentions. A phone call would be
sufficient.
Is that your final answer?
• Changing a ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ is only acceptable on account
of: illness or injury, a death in the family or an
unavoidable professional or business conflict. Call your
hosts immediately.
• Canceling because you have a “better” offer is a sure fire
way to get dropped from ALL the guest lists.
• Being a “no show” is unacceptable.
• Changing a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ is OK only if it will not upset the
hosts’ arrangements.
“May I bring…”
• Don’t even ask! An invitation is extended to the people
the hosts want to invite—and no one else.
• …a date. Some invitations indicate that you may invite a
guest or date (Mr. John Evans and Guest) and when you
reply, you should indicate whether you are bringing
someone, and convey their name.
• …my children. If they were invited, the invitation would
have said so.
• … my houseguest. It’s best to decline the invitation,
stating the reason. This gives your host the option to
extend the invitation to your guests, or not.
Say “Thank You.”
• Make sure to thank your hosts before you
leave, and then again by phone or note
the next day.
How to be the perfect guest
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-be-theperfect-guest
Useful Websites
• http://www.mygatsby.com/invitations/etiquette/
(wedding invitations, baby showers, and general
invitations)
• http://www.southworth.com/page.php?id=127
(wedding invitations)
• http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/invitation_eti
quette.htm