Transcript Talking to your teen about sexuality

Talking to your teen
about sexuality
Vicki M. Warnock RN, BSN,CSN
BTHS School Nurse
Just the facts:
CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey
shows:
• 65% of American 12th graders have
had sexual intercourse
• 53% are currently sexually active
Take a minute to reflect
on your own teenage years.
How did you learn about sexuality?
Think, pair, share:
If you are comfortable sharing,
Please share your “birds and bees”
education with your neighbor.
Now- Reflect on what you want for
your child.
• THE Perfectly Healthy Young Adult:
– What would you want them to know?
– What would you want them to do?
– What values would they have?
– What character traits?
The Power of Parents
In 2010, teens across the country, ages 12-19, were
asked: When it comes to your decisions about sex,
who is most influential?
Research Update
Research Update
Engaging Parents
& Families
Research Update
Facts on American Teens’ Sources of Information about Sex; February
2012; www.guttmacher.org
Research Update
Topics parents feel should be included in sex education in high
schools
Studies show that some parents:
Need assistance
To address sexuality-related issues
May struggle
With how to talk about sex
May worry
That they don’t have the knowledge or skills
May fear
Their efforts will be ineffective
or may actually encourage their child to
become sexually active.
Barriers to communicating with teen
about sexuality
• They “Know all that
already”
• Completely close down
on discussion
• “don’t want to talk
about it”
• Withholding
information provides
control
Participants described various blocking techniques apparently
used by the young people, including claims to have full prior
knowledge on the issue, physically absenting themselves from
the situation, becoming irritated or annoyed, or ridiculing
parents’ educational efforts (Hyde et al, 2010)
Four areas critical
to parent-teen communication
Timing
Content
Frequency
Delivery: How parental
messages
about sex are
delivered
(Guilamo-Ramos, V., Bouris, A., 2009)
Think Health- Talk Social
• Early adolescence =
interest in romantic
relationships & dating
• Address the social
reasons for sex
• the positive
expectancies
– May be open to sex
• Health risks
• Multiple talks vs 1 Big Talk
– often primary focus= Sti’s
pregnancy, & HIV
– keep pace with cognitive,
social, & physical
development
– repeat sexuality messages
• Contraceptives
• Be knowledgeable, open,
& accessible when talking
about sex
•
40% of sexuality discussions start too late
(Guillamo-Ramos & Bouris 2010)
(Pediatric health 2009)
Don’t wait for the perfect timeperfect may not come in today’s busy world.
Sexuality did not appear to be perceived as something woven
into the fabric of everyday life, but rather was constructed as
a special subject of conversation that required delicate
management. Thus, in the parents’ narratives, sexuality
already acquired the status of being distinct from everyday
conversation. (Hyde, et al, 2010)
The more you discuss sexuality-related
topics, the more likely it is that adolescents
will internalize those messages.
Adolescents whose parents repeat specific
sexuality messages reported:
(a)
more perceived openness in
parental
communication about sex
(b) feeling closer to their parents
(c) a greater ability to talk with their
parent about sexuality-related and
general topics
(Martino, Elliott, Corona, Kanouse, & Schuster, 2008)
Barriers to communication
• Independence increases
and parent monitoring
decreases
Know their friends &
activities
Communicate values
Be clear about
expectations
• Parental rejection and
harshness have been
identified as a risk
factor for adolescent
sexual risk-taking
• Adolescents who feel
warm, close, and
connected to parents
are less likely to engage
“ I don’t want you to have sex, in risky behaviors,
including sexually risky
but if you do, then practice safe activity (Guillamos-Ramos 2009)
sex”
(
Inherent values of Sexual Health Education
Parents should be the primary sexuality educators of their
children.
Sexuality includes physical, ethical, social, spiritual,
psychological, and emotional dimensions.
Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of living.
In a pluralistic society, people should respect and accept the
diversity of values and beliefs about sexuality that exist in a
community.
Young people develop their values about sexuality as
part of becoming adults.
Young people explore their sexuality as a natural
process in achieving sexual maturity.
Early involvement in sexual behaviors poses risks.
Abstaining from sexual intercourse is the most effective
method of preventing pregnancy and STD/HIV.
Young people who are involved in sexual relationships
need access to information about healthcare services.
HELPS
• Describe your
feelings/perceptions
• Be direct and clear
• Give clear feedback
• Above the belt
• Attack the problem
• Constructive humor
&
HINDRANCES
• Criticize and accuse
• Be indirect, evasive
• No feedback: 1 way
only
• Below the belt
• Attack the other person
• Destructive humor
THE EFFECTIVE “NO”
FOR OLDER TEENS
•
•
•
•
•
Use the word “no”.
Make sure your body language says “no”.
Repeat your refusal.
Suggest and alternative.
Confirm the good things in your relationship..
Education on
sexuality-Here at
BTHS
Science based
Goal: To equip the students to make
mature and intelligent decisions
about their sexuality throughout
their lives.
• Students share their thoughts
and values.
Reflect on personal
and family values
• Reflect on their life goals.
• Discuss consequences of and
Critical analysis:
responsibility for actions.
(examine all sides)
• We Stress: individuality above
peer influence, refusal skills.
Decision model
We encourage, promote, & direct teens to talk with
their parents on all issues.
Parents may be encouraged that even as
adolescents age and become sexually active
and despite other emotional and behavioral
disorders and family stresses that preoccupy
time and energy, preventive communication
about sexual issues can make a lasting
impact. (Hadley et al, 2008)
Common Parent Questions
Answer
Overview
Research Update
Engaging Parents
& Families
Teaching Ideas
Common Parent
Questions
Resources &
Next Steps
Question:
Won’t teaching kids
about sex
encourage them to
try it?
Common Parent Questions
Answer
Overview
Research Update
Engaging Parents
& Families
Teaching Ideas
Common Parent
Questions
Resources &
Next Steps
Question:
Doesn’t sex ed teach
young kids graphic
details about how to
have sex?
Common Parent Questions
Answer
Overview
Research Update
Engaging Parents
& Families
Teaching Ideas
Common Parent
Questions
Resources &
Next Steps
Question:
Doesn’t sex ed
undermine the
rights of parents to
teach their own
family values?
Sexuality Education Resources at BTHS
•
•
•
•
Answer @ Rutgers
Sex ETC.
Glencoe Health Text
Nova: Life’s Greatest
Miracle DVD
• Discovery Education
• Speakers: Planned
Parenthood, Solutions,
County Prosecutor’s
Office
• Hazelden: Safe Dating
program
• National Sexuality
Education Standards
• NJCC Standards
References
Gelperin, N. (2012), Answer, Rutgers University, retrieved from www.
Answer.rutgers.edu
Siecus, Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States,
www.siecus.org
National Sexuality Standards, (2012) American School Health Association
http://www.ashaweb.org
Hadley, W, Brown, L. K., Lescano, C. M., Harrison, K., Spalding, K., DiClemente,
R., Donenberg, G., (2009)Parent–Adolescent Sexual Communication:
Associations of Condom Use with Condom Discussions. Aids Behavior
(13)997–1004 doi 10.1007/s10461-008-9468-z
Hyde, A., Carney, M. Drennan, J., Butler, M., Lohan, M., & Howlett, E., (2010)
The silent treatment: parents’ narratives of sexuality education with young
people. Culture, Health, & Sexuality (12) 4 359-371
Guilamo-Ramos, V., Bouris, A., (2009, May) Working with Parents to Promote
Healthy Adolescent Sexual Development. The Prevention Researcher 16(4)