Transcript Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence

Bullying: Lifelong Pain
Prelude to Violence
SuEllen Fried
BullySafeUSA
Definition of Bullying:
Bullying occurs when one or more
individuals inflict physical, verbal,
emotional, psychological and/or
sexual abuse on another or others.
Is it really a problem?
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In 2/3 of the 37 school shootings since 1974, the attackers
felt persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked or injured.
There has been an alarming increase in youth suicide in the last
decade and more and more students are experiencing
depression. Between 1980-1997, the rate of suicide increased
109% for 10-14 year old students.
74% of 8-11 year old students say that teasing and bullying
occur at their school.
Recent study indicates that in the United States,
5,736,417 students are involved in bullying- as a bully, a target
or both.
Journal of American Medical
Association Research Article on
Bullying
● The study measured the prevalence of bullying behaviors among youth and
attempted to determine an association of bullying and being bullied with
indicators of social adjustment: problem behavior, school adjustment,
social/emotional adjustment, and parenting.
● The sample included 15686 students grades 6-10 throughout the US. Students
filled out a survey that measured their involvement in bullying- either as a bully
or as a target.
● They found that 29.9% reported being involved as a bully (13.0%), a target
(10.6%) or both (6.3%).
● They concluded that the prevalence of bullying among US youth is substantial,
and that given the behavioral and emotional difficulties associated with
bullying, as well as the long term negative outcomes for the youth involved, the
issue of bullying merits serious attention- both for future research and
PREVENTATIVE INTERVENTION.
Four Major Concerns
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Targets
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Bullies
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Witnesses
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Teachers
Targets
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Over 160,000 students stay home from school
each day because of fears of what might happen
to them on the bus, the playground, the
bathroom, the cafeteria, the hallways, the locker
room, the classroom, or walking home from school.
Anxiety increases for students being bullied and
decreases concentration- lowering students
ability to retain and learn materials covered in
the classroom.
Today’s target can become tomorrow’s bully- most
of the students involved in classmate shootings
had suffered rejection at the hands of their
peers.
Bullies
In a research study done by Dr. Leonard
Eron, he found:
 One out of four bullies nominated by their
classmates in the third grade, had a
criminal record by the age of 28
 Male bullies were at greater risk to have
become abusive husbands
 Female bullies were more likely to have
become abusive mothers
More Bully Research
In another research study conducted in Norway by Dan
Olweus, 60% of children identified a s bullies between
grades six and ten were cited for criminal behavior as
adults, and 40% had three or more convictions.
A study published in Learning 94 concluded that bullies
whose behavior is allowed to continue are five times more
likely to be involved with the juvenile justice system, to be
convicted if crimes and to have children with aggression
problems.
Witnesses
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The “Silent Victim”
Develop a range of responses
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They may become angry at the target for failing
to eliminate the situation
They build a wall around their feelings to
diminish the discomfort
They conceal the situation for fear of reprisal
They encourage and support the bully to gain
favor with the perpetrator
They become an accomplice
Teachers
On a daily basis:
 6,250 Teachers are threatened with
bodily harm (National Education
Association, NEA)
 260 Teachers are physically
assaulted (NEA)
 Teachers are also witnesses, often
experiencing the same responses
Teasing VS. Bullying
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What is the difference between
teasing and bullying?
Teasing occurs when there is a “give
and take” - No one gets hurt
Bullying occurs when one person does
all the giving and the other person
does all the taking- Someone gets
hurt
5 Types of Bullying
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Physical
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Verbal
 Emotional
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Sexual
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Cyber
Can words really hurt?
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Sticks and stones can break your bones, but
words……..
CAN BREAK YOUR HEART
Recognize the cycle of violence
Pain
Revenge
Rage
Recognize the cycle of violence
Pain
Suicide
Depression
Three Kinds of Bullies
The Proactive Bully
• Bullies for the pleasure of it
• Has no apparent motive
• Has antisocial traits
• Does not form attachments
• Can be cold and calculating
The Reactive Bully
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Bullies in response to a
perceived threat
Is hyper-vigilant to signs of
provocation
Does not believe that he/she
initiates bullying behavior
May be or have been a target
The Elitist Bully
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Bullies because of perceived position
Has been corrupted by the power
he/she acquires because of
attractiveness, wealth, athletic ability,
or parents’ status
Apathy/Sympathy/Empathy
Discussion with students
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Apathy- lack of feeling
Sympathy- feeling sorry for someone
Empathy- caring about and trying to
understand how someone else feels
“Walk a mile in my shoes”
Strategies for schools
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Develop a school-wide policy on bullying prevention and
intervention.
• Define unacceptable behaviors and the consequences for
those behaviors and consistently impose them.
• Use consistent terminology to hold students accountable for
various forms of bullying.
• Saturate the school atmosphere with anti-bullying messages
and incentives.
• Determine high-risk locations for bullying and actively
monitor these areas.
• Involve everyone to make it a whole-school team approach.
• Involve parents- SAC, PTO, Parent Handout
Strategies for Teachers
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Emphasize the importance of respect and dignity
for EVERYONE in the classroom.
Emphasize a respect for differences of all kinds.
Model appropriate behavior- apologies and
appreciations. The ways in which you handle your
own anger, stress, frustration and mistakes
provide valuable lessons for students.
Discuss difference between tattling and
reporting
Role play situations with students- develop
strategies with them to handle bullying situations
Teach about ethics and ethical behavior
• Assure students of confidentiality when reporting
bullying. THIS IS CRUCIAL!
• Never dismiss a report. Be responsive to students’
communications.
• Speak with targets and bullies separately.
• Bring the bully and victim together only if the target
consents, but do not leave the target exposed and
vulnerable.
Interventions with Bullies
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Confront bullies in private- avoid giving them
public status and power
Determine source of bullying behavior- i.e.
low self esteem, past target, difficulties at
home, anger etc.
Give opportunity to make amends
Offer incentives for positive behavior
Give opportunity to teach Kindness and Bully
Prevention strategies to younger students
Interventions with Bullies
Proactive Bullies need to experience the consequences
of their choices. Set the boundaries, establish the
limits and enforce the penalties.
Reactive Bullies need to develop relationship skills. Refer
for anger management, empathy training, mediation and
social skills training and problem solving approaches.
Elitist Bullies need to become less self-centered.
Assign them service learning experiences,
community volunteer opportunities and
opportunities for creative leadership.
Interventions with Targets
٠Targets need to hear that no child deserves to be
bullied and that you will do all you can to help
them.
• Teach and role play assertiveness. Give them
language ideas, scripts and role-playing
opportunities.
• Discuss body language and facial expressions.
• Help them recognize and break any annoying habits
that irritate peers and attract bullies.
• Support and emphasize the strengths of the
target.
Teach students that bullies “shop around” for
targets and look for students who will:
Cry
Comply
Deny
Fly off the handle
Don’t Get Hooked By A Bully
Interventions with Witnesses
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Establish a respectful atmosphere in the
classroom
Remind students of responsibility to report
bullying incidents to an adult
Make a commitment to keep reports confidential
Role play strategies to support targets
Encourage them to support the target in
whatever manner they are comfortable.
Discuss a sense of fairness, justice, and a moral
code that reflects the ethics of students.
Students are in need of S.O.S. from teachers
Skills - Observation - Support
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Skills for targets, bullies and witnesses have been discussed
earlier.
• Observation
Monitor your class and the hallways. Instead of talking to
another teacher, watch what is happening between classes.
Occasionally walk into student restrooms.
Discern bullying behaviors. Become more attuned to the
slights, derisive laughter and ostracizing that takes place.
Supervise thoughtfully. Students are concerned when the
teacher leaves the classroom physically or mentally. Leave
specific instructions for substitute teachers.
Support
Ten Ways to Offer Support
1. Establish clear rules and consequences regarding
unacceptable behavior and enforce them consistently.
2. Deal with verbal abuse before it escalates.
3. Mobilize witnesses.
4. Take bullying reports seriously.
5. Realize the challenges of making changes.
6. Guarantee and maintain confidentiality.
7. Avoid embarrassing students.
8. Use classroom leaders.
9. Speak to bullies and targets separately.
10. Reinforce the classroom Code of Conduct
(Support continued)
Collaborate with colleagues
1. Counselors
2. School Nurse
3. School Social Worker
4. Custodians
5. Media Specialist
6. Aides
7. Secretaries
8. Food Service Workers
9. Bus Drivers
10. And, of course, other teachers