Transcript Grief Recovery Inc. - Alma Public Schools

Grief Recovery Inc.
• Helping People Grieve and Grow
• 4622 Still Meadow Dr.
• Saginaw, MI 48603
• (989) 249 – 4362
• [email protected]
• www.griefrecovery.ws
Suicide
• Suicide is not about death
• Suicide is about ending pain
Address It
• Perhaps the most valuable
result of all of education is the
ability to make ourselves do
the things we have to do,
when it ought to be done,
whether we like it or not
Suicide Statistics
140
120
100
80
39
60
40
20
0
1960
1970
1980
1990
2000
Recent Statistics
• 14 teens complete suicide each day (x4.5)
• Suicide is a common thought to 62% of U.S.
adolescents
• The 10 to 14 age group increased 124% from
1995 to 2005
• Within a typical classroom, it is likely that 3
students (one boy and two girls) have made a
suicide attempt in the last year
•
Mich. Assoc. of Suicidology State Conference
% Risk by Gender
35
30
25
20
East
West
15
10
5
0
thought
plan
attempted
complete
20th Century Guidelines for
Measuring a Successful man
• According to a recent newspaper article,
adolescents rated a successful man by:
– His ability to make money
– The type of car he drives
– The job he holds/how good he is at it
– Clubs he belongs to
– The size and style of his house
How AdolescentsDefine
Success
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Accomplishing goals
Getting good grades
Peaceful family
Giving your best in life
Being good at something
Being happy
“I don’t deserve to be successful”
Myths About Teen Suicide
• Youth who talk about suicide rarely
attempt it
• Talking about suicide will make it happen
• The tendency toward suicide is inherited
• Teen suicides happen at night
• If a person wants to complete suicide
nothing can stop him
• Once a teen has been suicidal he is never
out of danger
Suicidal Crisis
• Experts claim that every
person in a suicidal crisis
will tell between 2 and 4
people that he/she is
thinking about ending
his/her life
Why Are They Thinking Suicide?
•
•
•
•
Relief from problems
End of a burden
Solution to problems
Revenge
How to Recognize A Potential
Suicidal Individual
• Poor self concept
• Usually an antisocial isolate. They are
introverted and become withdrawn
• Excessive use of alcohol or other drugs
• Change in habits of appearance
• Gives away prized possessions
• Poor communications with family and friends
• A history of prior acts of suicide
What to Look For
• Previous attempts
• Scratching or superficial cutting of the
body
• Themes of death or depression in writing,
art, talk
• Verbalization of intentions
• Recent significant loss
• Discord in the home
What to Look For
• Sudden decline of academic performance
• Sudden loss of interest in things once
passionate about
• Acute personality changes
• Statements like “I’d be better off dead,”
“Nothing matters,” “I won’t be a bother to
you much longer.”
• Feelings of hopelessness and depression
How We Can Help
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Be a good listener
Evaluate the individual
Don’t suggest they go do it
Accept every feeling the person expresses
Don’t be afraid to ask them directly
Beware of fast recoveries
Be supportive and affirmative
Seek further consultation
Help the person realize that a completed suicide is
irreversible
• Never leave the person alone in an acute crisis
4 Questions That can save a life
•
•
•
•
Are you thinking about suicide?
What is going on?
Where does it hurt?
What can I do to help?
Suicide Assessment
SLAP
• S – How SPECIFIC is the plan
• L – How LETHAL is the proposed method
• A – Have the ACQUIRED the means or
how AVAILABLE is the means
• P – What is the PROXIMITY of helping
resources when and where the person
plans to attempt
Prevention Tips
• Remove guns from the home. Teens are
likely to act on impulse.
• Early detection of substance abuse
• Family therapy for families experiencing
multiple stressors
• Upon signs of depression – get a
professional evaluation
• Listen, Listen, Listen
How Can I Help
Review
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Be direct
Be willing to listen
Be non-judgmental
Get involved
Don’t dare
Don’t act shocked
Don’t be sworn to secrecy
Recognize your limitations
Ways to Support a Depressed
Family Member
• Try to maintain as normal a relationship as
possible
• Acknowledge that the person is suffering
• Don’t expect the person to snap out of it
• Encourage efforts to get treatment and get
better
• Express affection, offer kind words, pay
compliments
Ways to Support Cont.
• Show that you value and respect the person
• Help keep the person an active, bust family
member
• Don’t pick on, criticize or blame the person for
his/her depressed behavior
• Don’t say or do anything you think might worsen
the person’s poor self image
• Take any talk of suicide seriously and notify the
person’s health caretaker immediately
How Parents Can Turn Things
Around
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Bury the hatchet
Stop trying to run their lives
Don’t deny your cooperation
Let them experience the consequences of their
actions
Give them choices
Don’t portray that you were a perfect teen
Let them know that you are there for them
There is Hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What Adults Can Do
• Smile at every child and adolescent you see
• When your children’s friends come to your
home, greet them, make them feel welcome,
pop popcorn, invite for dinner, etc.
• Regularly do things with your children, including
projects around the house, recreational
activities, and service projects
• Model and talk about your own values and
priorities
Do’s and Don’t Review
• Talking to a person in crisis:
– DON’T
•
•
•
•
Sound shocked
Stress shock on family and friends
Engage in philosophical religious debate
Assume responsibility for a person’s actions
Do’s
• Talking to a person in crisis:
– DO
•
•
•
•
•
•
Emphasize alternatives
Stay calm and understanding
Mention family as source of support
Emphasize tackling problems one at a time
Develop a contract with the person
Emphasize that if he completes it, there is no
second chance
• Process all contacts with a professional counselor
Most Common Asked Questions
• Why do you use the term “completed
suicide” instead of “commit suicide?”
• Won’t I put ideas in kids’ heads by talking
about suicide?
• If I am talking to a person who at the time
seems to be suicidal, should I come right
out and ask him if he is thinking about
suicide?
• What is wrong with today’s kids?
Common Questions Cont.
• Isn’t depression the result of a character
flaw? Maybe if the person made better
decisions he wouldn’t be depressed?
• How is grief from suicide different than
grief from death of other causes?
• Can I scare kids out of suicidal thoughts?
• Is medication for depression causing
suicidal behavior in teens?
Questions Cont.
• What are the most important things to
teach teens while helping a friend in
suicidal crisis?
• What have been some of the worst things
that can be said to a teen in suicidal
crisis?