Transcript Theological Perspectives on Marriage and Family

Some Theological Reflections
on Marriage
Joann Heaney-Hunter, M.S., Ph.D.,
LMHC, NCC
Columbus, Ohio
November, 2009
Overview of Presentation
Marriage is a Sacrament
Marriage is a Domestic Church or
Household of Faith
Marriage: a vocation to be supported
Marriage as a Sacrament
Marriage can reveal the life of the Trinity
Marriage can reveal the Paschal Mystery
Marriage can reveal the Eucharist
Marriage can reveal Reconciliation
Marriage Can Reveal Immanent Trinity
Immanent Trinity – a Unity of Persons
– Trinity – perichoretic union – the dance -- an embrace of the
members of the ensemble – an expression of its unity. Trinity
first described as a dance by John Damascene in the 8th century
– How does this relate to marriage? Couples draw close with
flexible bonds that encourage interdependence within unity.
– Couples infuse ordinary activities with the love of God
– Couples develop as community, with the potential to be open to
people and experiences, and to be a model of unconditional
commitment.
Marriage Can Reveal Economic Trinity
Economic Trinity – The persons of God reaching out in
love to the world
Economic Trinity – Presumed in early Eastern Church
(Especially found in the writings of the Cappadocian
Fathers -- Basil, Gregory of Nazianzus, Gregory of
Nyssa)
How does this relate to sacramental marriage?
– Couples reveal Economic Trinity through life as a community of
faith and evangelization
Reaching out to children and the broader community
Reaching out as ministers of evangelization
Marriage can reveal the sacraments of
the Church
First – married couples invited to reveal Christ – the primary sacrament –
by living the paschal mystery each day
Second – focus on two ways that couples reveal the sacraments – how do
they reveal Eucharist and Reconciliation?
Sacramental Couples can reveal Eucharist
– Blessed
– Broken
– Shared
Sacramental Couples can reveal Reconciliation
– Called to confess
– Called to absolve
– Called to restore
Married Couples Reveal
Paschal Mystery
Romans 6:3-11
Called to die with Christ
– Death to all that keeps couple far from Christ
Death to selfishness
Death to isolated individuality
Death to fear of commitment
Called to rise with Christ
Luke 24
John 21:1-19
Marriage – Called to reveal Eucharist
First and foremost, called to be people of thanksgiving
Sacramental couples challenged to “be Eucharist”
– Augustine – Sermon 272 – be what you receive, receive what you are
– Sacramental couples called to be Christ’s body blessed, broken and
shared
Blessed by commitment
Broken by the events of life
Shared in the community of family
Marriage – Called to Live Reconciliation
Each day, couples called to live as
reconciling communities
– Every person causes pain – every person
must forgive
A thought from Ronald Rolheiser
– in families, “we cannot not hurt each other.” “The
name of the game is forgiveness,” he says, because
“when we forgive, when we live beyond our hurts and
hypersensitivities, God can enter our lives in a way
that approximates what happened at the resurrection.
Forgiveness is the force that rolls back the stone.”
Marriage reveals the rituals of reconciliation
Confess
– Each day, couples and all family members share honestly about
hopes, failures, issues, sins
– Through open communication and sharing – couples grow in a
trusting relationship where sharing faults is possible
Absolve
– The call to forgiveness is constitutive for all Christians, especially
those in intimate relationships –
Restore
– The process of forgiving and reconciling is built into the fabric of
the sacramental couple
Reconciliation in the Gospels
Gospel calls us to forgive and reconcile as Jesus did
Forgiveness and reconciliation are about healing relationships
– Luke 24:13-35 -- Describes reconciliation that takes place when the Risen Jesus
shares a meal with his despondent disciples
– John 21: 1-19 -- Great story of Petes’s reconciliation with Jesus – even after
the tragic betrayal – Jesus makes all things whole
Married couples called to forgiveness and reconciliation – as were
the first disciples
Forgiveness and reconciliation can occur at many times
– interpersonal exchanges
– prayer
– times together
Forgiveness springs from God and is lived out in families each day
Marriage called to be a Domestic Church
Quick Historical Perspective on the
tradition of Domestic Church
Contemporary Perspectives on Domestic
Church
– John Paul II – Theology of the Body
– Benedict XVI – Deus Caritas Est
The Domestic Church in Christian History
I Corinthians 7 assumes domestic church – a marriage was Christian
because of the faith of the spouses
By Fifth Century – East and Western Theologians referred to marriage as a
domestic Church
– What made a marriage holy was the life of faith shared
By 13th century in Latin West, marriage often regarded as a
sacramental contract – but domestic church receded in importance
– Peter Lombard (mid-twelfth century)
– Thomas Aquinas (Questions 42-50 Supplement 3rd Part of
Summa)
– Fourth Lateran Council 1215 assumes the sacramentality of
marriage – primarily contractual issues
Council of Trent to Vatican II
Document Tametsi (1563) provides framework
for celebration in the Church – but little focus on
Domestic Church
– Declares marriage is sacrament if:
2 people are baptized
Proper form is followed
Marriage is consummated
Vatican II recovers idea of domestic church
– Lumen Gentium
– Gaudium et Spes
– Apostolicam Actuositatem
Contributions of Pope John Paul II
Familiaris Consortio – foundational document
Theology of the Body
– Presents vision of human sexuality as radical gift
– Describes tremendous potential for human sexuality
and its’ place in building up the Christian family
– Begins with the perspective of the complementarity of
genders
– Concern – can be overidealized --
Benedict XVI – Deus Caritas Est
Starting point – God is love
– Spends considerable amount of time describing the meaning of
love
Emphasizes importance of BOTH eros and agape
Says that love is intimately connected with service – can’t talk about
love without talking about service
– Building the Domestic Church with Eros and Agape
Desire for – Desire for the good of another perfectly united in God
alone
Humans strive for the union of eros and agape
Desire for can lead to desire for good of another
– Love and service are intimately connected
Love without service is empty
Love without service is not complete
Call to the entire Christian community to recognize that love of God
leads to love of neighbor
Uses marriage as an example of the first place where connection
between love and God and love of neighbor
Supporting the Vocation of Sacramental
Couples
Supporting Sacramental Couples through the life
cycle
Early years
– Can’t discount importance of high end marriage
preparation – good content, faith sharing, community
support
– Marriage Preparation plants the seeds – goal,
especially if couples stay in an area, is to keep them!
– Support for engaged and newly married
– Help these couples feel welcome in the community
Encouraging Baptismal Spirituality in
Young Couples
Young couples invited to reveal Baptismal
Spirituality
– High end Baptism preparation
Bringing children to the church and celebrating
faith in the home
Welcoming those who are seeking to deepen faith
“Confirming” faith by a life of prayer and loving
action in the name of Christ
Supporting couples with young families
Young families may feel isolated –
especially if both partners in couple work
outside home
– Baptism Preparation can be a critical tool for
evangelization and support for young
marriages
– Theology of Baptism
– Mentoring from “Sponsor Couples”
– Social Support
Nurturing families with young children
Different parishes and dioceses will have a
variety of solutions
– Various toddler and preschool programs
– Elizabeth ministries as support for young mothers
– Liturgical programming – variety of solutions – many
conversations with different people – you choose!
– Making sure new, young families are represented on
various boards and councils
Supporting families with School Age
Children
How does Religious Education support
evangelization of married couples?
Parent involvement on many levels
Some classes with parents and children
together
Opportunities for parents to build
communities and share faith
Times of reflection/retreat for parents as
well as children
Couples of the Sandwich
Generation
What faith support can we provide for
couples caring for multiple generations?
How do we support young adult
ministries?
Can we create partnerships to provide
respite for caregivers?
Bereavement resources for middle aged
adults?
Senior Couples and Singles
The heart of so many parishes
Need support and faith sharing as they face the
challenges of later life
Consolation ministries take on new importance for
seniors
Create opportunities for multi-generational events – ex.
Teens and seniors – seniors and religious education
children
Create opportunities for seniors to serve others
The Sacrament of Marriage – A Lifetime of Service
Serving the Church as communities of faith
– Bringing the faith of the family to the wider community
– Serving the Church through the priesthood of all
believers
– Sharing in the priestly, prophetic, and royal life of
Christ in their own lives
– Serving the World and transforming it
Mission of the Laity found in Apostolicam Actuositatem,
Christifidelis Laici, and most recently in Deus Caritas Est and
Sacramentum Caritatis
Christian Marriage – A Way of Life:
Rooted in God’s love for us
Revealing the Sacraments
Formed as Domestic Church
Nurtured through the life cycle