Transcript The Anxiety Disorders Some Practical Questions & Answers

Dealing with
Unhappy
Coworkers
Some Practical Coping Strategies1,2
A Presentation for the SOMC
Medical Imaging Seminar
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
March 4, 2006
Why is this important?
• There are a lot of unhappy
people in the world.
• Most of them have to work.
• They often bring their misery
with them.
• And their coworkers have to
deal with that.1
• It can be a challenge.
• But the unhappy people at
work need not ruin your day.
• The practical strategies in
this presentation can help
you manage others’
unhappiness instead of
letting it manage you.2
• After mastering the information
in this presentation, you will be
able to describe
– How unhappy coworkers behave,
– Some of the reactions these
behaviors elicit in others,
– Some practical strategies for
dealing more effectively with
unhappy coworkers,
– Why you should adopt these
strategies, and
– How you can deploy these
strategies successfully.
• While you will not be able to
make your miserable colleagues
happy, you will be able to
minimize their negative impact
on your life.
• That’s no small thing.
How do unhappy people
• They whine to anyone
who will listen.
• They complain about
everything.
• They find fault with
everything and
everybody.1
• They are sensitive and
easily offended.
• They take everything
personally.2
behave at work?
• They blame others for
everything that goes
wrong.
• They stay mad about
something most of the
time.
• They talk about people
behind their backs.
• And they feel perfectly
justified in acting the
way they do.
• Worst of all, they just
won’t shut up.
What reactions do unhappy coworkers
elicit?
• Their coworkers feel
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Bummed
Frustrated
Resentful
Impatient
Tired1
Imposed on
Fed up
Distracted
Weary
Overwhelmed
Hopeless2,3
• And they dread coming to
work!
What practical strategies will assist you
in dealing with unhappy coworkers?
•
•
•
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Recognize them.
Accept them.1,2,3
Observe them.
Predict them.
Manage them.*
Agree with them.
Poke fun at them.
Avoid them.
Pity them.
Learn from them.
•
•
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•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Appreciate them.
Distract them.
Recruit them.
Use them.
Isolate them.
Inform them.
Ignore them.
Confront them.
Expunge them
Leave them.
Manage them.
• Why should you?
– This approach puts you in
charge.
– This perspective recognizes
that these aggravating
people can be managed—
that is, you can manage your
reactions to them.
– This stance limits their
ability to infect you with
their fetid emotional drool.
– This intention provides a
welcome distraction as you
reflect on what to do next.
– This posture gives hope to
your colleagues who are
similarly oppressed by these
troublemakers.
• How can you?
– Observe recurring patterns
of behavior.1
– Confirm your observations
with others.
– Document these patterns.
– Predict their behavior.
– Prepare yourself and others
beforehand.
– When you turn out to be
right, flash the “I told you so”
signal.
– Practice emotional
detachment.
– Remain unfailingly good
humored.
What have you learned?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
There are a lot of unhappy people in the world.
There are always some of them at work.
These people are a threat to your mental health.
Their bad moods—like all moods—are highly
infectious.
The practical strategies we have discussed will help
you minimize the negative impact these folk impose
on your life.
Happiness really is a choice, but it is not easy.
To achieve it, you are going to have to shake off some
pretty miserable influences at work.
But the payoff is worth the effort.1,2,3
Where can you learn more?
•
Bernstein, Albert J, Emotional Vampires:
Dealing with People Who Suck You Dry,
McGraw-Hill, 2002
Cavaiola, Alan A and Lavendar, Neil J, Toxic
•
Publications, 2000
Lloyd, Kenneth L, Jerks at Work: How to
•
•
•
Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional
People on the Job, New Harbinger
Deal with People Problems and Problem
People, Career Press, 1999
Scott, Gini Graham, A Survival Guide for
Working with Humans: Dealing with
Whiners, Back-Stabbers, Know-It-Alls and
Other Difficult People, AMACOM, 2004
Stewart, Kendall L et. al., A Portable Mentor
for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress,
2003
Please visit www.KendallLStewartMD.com to download related White Papers and presentations.
How can you contact me?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
VPMA and Chief Medical Officer
Southern Ohio Medical Center
President & CEO
The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.
1805 27th Street
Portsmouth, Ohio 45662
740.356.8153
[email protected]
[email protected]
www.somc.org
www.KendallLStewartMD.com
Are there other questions?
www.somc.org
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