Transcript Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to

Invoking Inherent Inspiration
(I.I.I. or Aye! Aye! Aye!):
Motivating and Encouraging Youth
through Communication
Michelle Vazquez Jacobus
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“Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he will eat for life.”
Confucius
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Part I: COACHING
Communicating to Invoke
Inherent Inspiration
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COACHING
Is a Two Way Partnership
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Coaching occurs when a worker…
☀provides positive feedback reinforcing healthy behavior
☀listens to the youth and other’s concerns
☀provides corrective feedback indicating concerns about
unhealthy behavior as an impediment to successful living
☀clears the air by tackling issues of concern before
they become crises
☀helps the youth to perform a new task, develop a
skill, solve a problem or build a confidence.
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Coaching Ground Rules:
 Focus on behavior - not the person.
 Be descriptive, not evaluative.
 Listen
 Be concrete
 Be clear and direct
 Be timely
 Be consistent, reliable and, wherever possible, honest
 Deal with one issue at a time
 Emphasize mutual responsibility
 Emphasize building strengths rather than improving weaknesses
 Solicit the youth’s self-evaluation of strengths and needed
improvements.
 Always see and reflect potential for positive change –
Never Say Never Again
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Focus on the Behavior Not the Person
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Be Descriptive Not Evaluative
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Listen and Keep the Focus on the Youth
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Be Concrete and Specific
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Be Clear and Direct
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Be Timely
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Be consistent, reliable, and whenever
possible, honest.
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Deal with one issue at a time
X Meet with teacher
X buy coat
Sign up for lessons
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Emphasize mutual responsibility
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Emphasize building strengths rather
than improving weaknesses.
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Solicit the youth’s self evaluation of
strengths and needed improvements.
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Part II: The Skills of Coaching
Providing Structure
Active Listening
Asking Questions
Making Suggestions
Giving Feedback
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Providing Structure
•Hold regular, preplanned meetings with youth
•Hold meetings when there have been successes as well as
when there are problems
•Ensure that any meetings with others follow clear agenda
•Conclude all formal and informal meetings with youth with
summary of meeting, agreement on actions each will take, and
date of next meeting.
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Active Listening
Do
Don’t
Quiet your own mind
Interrupt
Know when to listen
Finish youth’s sentences
Tell him that you “know”
him, that you know what she
means, or that you know what
he wants (even if you think you
do)LET THEM TELL YOU!
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Use Multiple Forms of Communication
Body language (positive non verbal signs)
Positive open environment
Positive verbal signals
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Body language
Nodding
Smiling
Attentive Posture
Open Posture
Interested Facial Expressions
Eye Contact
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Positive Verbal Signals:
“Oh’
“I see”
“Mmm-hmm”
“That’s interesting”
“Really” (Not with disbelief but confirmation)
“Tell me more about…”
Prompting (repeating youth’s last or most
significant words to ask for more information “You
say you had trouble with your brother then?”
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Positive/Open Environment
Non-cluttered enough that there is room to sit and
move comfortably
Pleasing/soothing colors, fabrics, décor
A few personal (though not intimate) knickknacks
Non obstructed space between worker and youth (worker is
not behind desk)
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Hear the whole youth and
all that s/he is saying
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Summarize
•“Let me check to be sure I understand…”
•“So, you’re saying that…”
•“As I understand you…”
•“Let me see if I’ve got that…”
•“What I hear you saying is…”
•“So, our assignments for next week are…”
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Open Ended Questions:
Clarifying Questions “What does that mean to you?”
Creative Questions “How have you seen other people deal
with the same situation?”
Process Questions “What would you like to get out of the
meeting with the principal?”
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Clarifying Questions:
“What does that mean to you?”
“Can I make sure I understand that…?”
“If I hear you correctly what you are saying is…”
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Creative Questions:
“How have you seen other people handle similar situations?”
“Can you explain more about where you’re going with that?”
“Would you like to talk about that some more?”
“What would you do here if you could do whatever you
wanted (money were not a problem)?”
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Process Questions:
“What would you like to get out of this/that meeting?”
“What do you think I/you need to communicate to ensure
everyone understands…?”
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Follow-up Questions
To get more information
“In what way would this make things easier for you?”
“Just how would you involve your foster siblings in this
task?”
Reflective
“You say you were happy when…How so?”
You say your father was angry when he saw that? How did you
know he was angry?”
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Closed Questions:
“Did you …?”
“When was (this event)?”
“How often did you…?”
“How many times were you…?”
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Other Less Useful Questions:
•Leading questions: “I assume you…didn’t you?”
•Hypothetical questions “If you were me…?”
•Multiple questions, “Would you have gone to the beach
even if your sister didn’t say she was going to be there with
your ex?”
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Suggestions on how to make suggestions:
•Do not impose your ideas.
•Be sure the youth has exhausted her own ideas
before you offer your own.
•Encourage the youth to come up with further
suggestions even if she seems to have “dried up”
•Provide prompts to encourage
creativity.
•Position your suggestions as additional thoughts
which arise from youth’s ideas instead of as the
primary source.
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Giving Feedback
•Feedback should describe the behavior, not judge the person.
•Feedback should be constructive not negative.
•Feedback should be factual, specific, and accurate-not vague.
•Feedback should be about behaviors the youth can change,
not about situations outside the youth’s control.
•Feedback should be prompt but should always respect
confidentiality and privacy.
•Feedback should describe the consequences of behavior in
objective, not reactive, terms.
The way in which you give feedback will determine
whether it is accepted or acted upon.
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Part III:
Coaching Through the Cycle
Reflect
Listen
Plan
Practice
Provide Experience
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Listen
understand
acknowledge youth’s voice
help youth identify needs and wants
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Destination
Plan
Objectives
Goals
Direction
Guidance
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Provide Experience
Real life
Experiential Learning
Safe Space to Grow
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Practice
Learn from Mistakes
Gain Confidence from Successes
Preparation and Readiness
Delay of Gratification
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Reflect
Review
Reconsider
Incorporate Lessons
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Hope
CONNECTICUT Drivers License
BIRTHDATE
EXPIRES
10/16/90
10/16/2010
Amanda Sue Dobson
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Sometimes, teaching a youth to fish
requires sharing your vision of him
catching one.
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