Transcript Developing Tone and Style

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Developing Basic
Writing Techniques
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Learning Objectives
Make your writing more readable by using
plain language and by substituting familiar
words for unfamiliar words.
Achieve a forceful style by using precise verbs,
concrete nouns, and vivid adjectives.
Recognize and avoid unnecessary jargon.
Recognize and avoid slang and clichés.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Learning Objectives
Eliminate repetitious words and redundancies.
Replace outdated expressions with more
current expressions.
Develop a concise writing style by avoiding
wordy prepositional phrases and long lead-ins.
Recognize and avoid needless adverbs and
expletives.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Plain Language
Avoid legalese, federalese, and
bureaucratese
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Plain Language
Each person to whom this request is herein
addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or
to have his or her department representative
submit, to the appropriate Minister’s office as
described above, a comment on whether the
proposed plan, in his or her considered view,
meets the requirements of the new law. Two
(2) or more such persons may join in a single
comment.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Plain Language
You may wish to comment on whether the
proposed plan meets the requirements of the
new law.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Familiar Words
Avoid long, difficult, or unfamiliar words.
Use short, simple, or common words
whenever possible.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Familiar Words
Avoid indirect, pompous language.
Ineffective:
Please utilize the correct operational
parameters to complete the task.
Improved:
Please follow the directions.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Precise Verbs
Precise verbs help the reader see the action.
General:
Our market researchers said that profits
would improve.
Precise:
Our market researchers predicted improved
profits.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Converting Verbs
to Nouns
 Weak
The manager wanted to make an elimination of
overtime.
 Strong
The manager wanted to eliminate overtime.
 Weak
An application must be made by every candidate.
 Strong
Every candidate must apply.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Concrete Nouns
Concrete nouns name objects to help
readers visualize the meaning of words.
General:
The man asked for a raise.
Precise:
Jeff Davis asked for a four percent salary
increase.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Use Vivid Adjectives
Descriptive, dynamic adjectives make your
writing concrete and lively.
General:
The report was good.
Vivid:
The report was comprehensive.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Jargon
Using terms from a particular profession
outside of that profession can be confusing.
Computer Jargon:
Menu
Alternative:
List of options
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Slang
Using terms common to a social or cultural
group can inject misunderstanding.
Slang:
Ravi asked the committee to mellow out.
Alternative:
Ravi asked the committee to relax.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Clichés
Clichés are overused expressions.
Cliché:
We had reached the end of our rope.
Improved:
We could go no further.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Eliminate Repetition
Repetitious:
Workers will be able to add two additional
workers to help the three previously hired
workers who make up the workers’ team.
Improved:
Workers will be able to add two additional
employees to help the three previously hired
members who make up the team.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Eliminate Redundancies
close proximity
new beginning
exactly identical
personal opinion
perfectly clear
past history
final outcome
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Remove Outdated
Expressions
Replace wordy, dated expressions with
more concise, current wording.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Remove Outdated
Expressions
Instead of this...
Try this…
Pursuant to your letter
As per your request
Due to the fact that
Every effort will be made
As of this date in time
According to your letter
At your request
Because
We’ll try
Now
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Delete Wordy Prepositions
Wordy prepositional phrases can sometimes
be replaced by a single word.
Wordy:
We don’t as a general rule cash personal
cheques.
Concise:
We don’t generally cash personal cheques.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Delete Wordy Prepositions
Students in very few instances receive
parking tickets.
Students seldom receive parking tickets.
She calls meetings on a monthly basis.
She calls monthly meetings.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Long Lead-ins
Wordy:
This memo is to inform you that all
employees will meet May 2.
Improved:
All employees will meet May 2.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Omit Needless Adverbs
Streamline your writing and sound more
professional by omitting intensifying
adverbs such as:
 very
 quite
 definitely
 completely
 really
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Omit Needless Adverbs
Wordy:
Brokers are quite certain that these stocks
are completely safe.
Concise:
Brokers are certain that these stocks are
safe.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Avoid Expletives
Avoid word-wasting expletives such as
there and it.
Wordy:
There are two students who will help us.
Concise:
Two students will help us.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentences using simpler
language for unfamiliar terms.
1. Mr. Johnson said he must terminate
the copier contract.
Mr. Johnson said he must end the copier
contract.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. Please ascertain if Jason monitored the
progress of the remodeling project.
Please find out if Jason checked
the remodeling project.
3. Lisa hypothesized that the accounts were
utilized incorrectly.
Lisa guessed that the accounts were used
incorrectly.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise these sentences to avoid verb-noun
conversion.
1. Could you bring about a change in the
company sick-leave policy?
Could you change the company sick-leave
policy?
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. The investigator made a determination of
the amount of money lost from the robbery.
The investigator determined the amount of
money lost from the robbery.
3. The duty of the general manager is the
calculation of monthly sales.
The general manager calculates monthly sales.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the sentence to include vivid and
concrete language.
1. My assistant will call them soon.
Ms. Kurnweig will call the salesperson on
Friday.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentences avoiding
jargon and slang.
1. A bug in the computer program crashed the
system.
An error in the computer program caused the
system to shut down.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. The shredder manual listed a caveat about
placing metal through the cutting mechanism.
The shredder manual listed a warning about
placing metal through the cutting mechanism.
3. Mr. Hobbes runs a tight ship and expects
project completion right on target.
Mr. Hobbes gives specific instructions and
expects projects completed as scheduled.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentences to avoid
clichés and unnecessary repetition, and to
eliminate outdated expressions.
1. Despite the fact that the deadline has
passed, we still receive applications.
Although the deadline has passed, we still
receive applications.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. Without rhyme or reason District Manager
Niles refused to interface with any
representatives face to face.
For no reason District Manager Niles refused
to speak directly with any representatives.
3. As per your request, every effort will be
made to rush your order.
As you requested, we’ll try to rush your order.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the following sentences to eliminate
wordy prepositional phrases, long lead-ins,
needless adverbs, and expletives.
1. This letter is to inform you that in all
probability we will finish in two weeks.
We will probably finish in two weeks.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. There are really only two candidates that
are worth interviewing.
Only two candidates are worth interviewing.
3. It was his work ethic that definitely
impressed recruiters.
His work ethic impressed recruiters.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning