Transcript Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People

Dealing with
Difficult,
Demanding and
Demeaning People
Dorinda Harmon
College of Charleston
SACRAO 2011
Angering… Annoying…
PIA…Disruptive…
Embarrassing …Trying…
Pushing Buttons
…Miserable…Rude…Cruel…
Hateful…Hostile…Mean… Unfair…
Energy Zapper… Hurtful …
Unbearable… Destructive …
Do what you feel in your
heart to be right—for
you’ll be criticized
anyway.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Who Are These
People
and Where Do They
Come From?
• Why Are They So Angry ?
• What Has Set Them Off ?
• Why Are They Taking It Out On
Me ?
• How Can I Get Rid of Them ?
• Is this a Pattern or a One Time
Happening ?
Who Are They?
• Parents
• Students
• Community
Why Do They Act Like
This?
• Personality Traits
• Controllers
• Negatives
• Self Boosters
• Glory Seekers
• Revenge
• Their difficult life/work conflicts
or situation
What Brings These
Behaviors On?
• Parents
• Control, misplaced caring/fear
• Student
• Confusion, fear, pressure
• Community
• Misinformation, control, lack
of resources for resolution of
issues
Why Take It Out On Me?
• You are available
• Seen as someone who
should be able to resolve it
• You get paid to resolve it
• Need to vent / control /
boost
• Are you a victim, instigator ?
Calming an Angry
Person
• Calm Down
• That’s Not My Fault
• You’re way out of line
• It you just hold on, I’ll
transfer you to…
• yellow reference link # 1
Managing You
• Choose a Win-Win attitude
• Give “customers” your
undivided attention
• Learn to handle criticism
with class
yellow reference link # 1
• Depersonalize the criticism
• Assertively restate
comments for clarification
• Seek guidance
• Process the input
• Review progress-seek
follow-up
Getting Promoted: Real Strategies for
Advancing Your Career
Harry Chambers
What Can I Do?
Parents
• Listen
• Is there a reasonable issue ?
• Look for calm resolution
• Do not pass along without
attempting to alleviate
• Use knowledge to avoid /
improve future
• Call on the next level
What Can I Do?
Students
• Listen
• Provide options and
information
• Do not just hand off the
problem
• Try to resolve the issues
What Can I Do?
Community
• Listen
• Clarify the issue (s)
• Consider options and
resources
• Put the issue, not yourself,
as the focus
• Call in reinforcements
Resources:
<a ref="http://careers.stateuniversity.com/pages/100000264/PeopleManagement-Dealing-With-Difficult-People.html">People
Management - Dealing With Difficult People</a>
Rise Above the Fray: Dealing With Difficult People at Work
Some People Are Difficult People
By Susan M. Heathfield, About.com Guide
When Options for Dealing with Difficult People Don't Work
Be Prepared to Change Jobs
By Alison Doyle, About.com Guide
Working with Difficult People: Seven Types of Difficult People
Working with Difficult People. bullet Seven Types of Difficult People.
bullet ABC's of Conflict Resolution. bullet Scenarios. bullet
Resources ...
literacy.kent.edu/salt_fork/work_people/7types.html
Working With Difficult People Feels Like Getting Pinched by a
Lobster Claw! Oregon School Boards Association
Greg McKenzie - [email protected]
Tips for Negotiating with Difficult People
Gina Covell Maddox, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Apr 8, 2010