Transcript This is the first slide

Welcome to Kinkspeed
Some minor things to note:
• Each presenter only has 5 minutes
• Please don’t ask questions of the presenter until after
KinkSpeed is over.
• Feel free to laugh
Next up: Jordyn – Responsible Bottoming
Responsible Bottoming
Or, “How to be the awesome bottom
everyone wants to play with”
Presented by: Jordyn
Fetlife: NumberOneCrush
XCBDSM.com as Kasai No Yosai
What the heck does
“Responsible Bottoming” mean?
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Oh rly…?
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Three Tips on Being a Responsible,
Ethical, Awesome Bottom:
1.Communication
2.Drop- Not just for subs.
3.Realizing your ultimate self-responsibility.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Communication
• Super important to negotiate shared “operational definitions”:
• What is “sex”? What is “a scene”?
• What does “impact play” mean to each partner?
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Unless you negotiate otherwise, it’s OKAY
to (respectfully) talk during a scene.
This provides the top with:
• Feedback on sensation
• Enthusiastic consent
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Enthusiastic Consent
• Bratting- “Are you even hitting me??”
• “Is that the best you got?”
• This “egging the top on”
communicates that you can
handle more pain/sensation.
• “This is so much fun/ so amazing”
• “I feel so good right now”
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Non-Verbal Communication:
• Sexy Noises of appreciation (moans, groans, sighs, etc.)
• Moving your body, shaking your ass.
• The “Sub Dance”- dancing to music (you can’t really dance if
you’re in a bad mental place).
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
It is VERY possible to communicate during a scene respectfully,
without taking away from the power dynamic.
Arming your top with info and letting them decide what to do
with it is different than insisting on WHAT they do with that
information.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Direct Communication is Better
Than Just “Safewords”
• Direct, immediate feedback is more
valuable than having to stop and ask what
the problem is.
• “My hands are going numb”, “I’m freaking
out”.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Drop: It’s NOT Just For Bottoms Anymore!
This is super sekret, but tops…
…They can drop, too.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Top Drop Can Look a Lot Like Sub-Drop:
• Depression
• Feeling Sick
• Guilt
• Regret
Some differences can be:
• Obsessing over technical
mistakes in an otherwise happy,
well-ending scene.
• Guilt over treating someone that
way.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
“A Thousand Bonus Points For Asking”
• Ask your top what THEIR aftercare needs are, too!
• “Cuddles, sugar, water, and protein” is excellent general
aftercare protocol- for bottoms AND Tops.
Post-Scene reassurance can help go a long way• Tell them what a good time you had, that you’re okay.
If not…
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
• If it wasn’t so great, talk about that, too. (Wait til an appropriate
time when they’re less emotional).
• Responsible bottoms caringly tell their Tops about the good and
bad, without criticizing the Top as a person.
• This helps your Top learn and grow in their Toppy-ness.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Finally, the BEST way to be a responsible bottom…
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Is to realize and remember that ultimately,
it is literally YOUR ass on the line.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
You and you alone are responsible for your well-being.
Even when you’re “giving up” your responsibility to someone
else for a little while. (Or a long while).
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
It is up to you to communicate well about
YOUPre-, during, and post- scene.
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
• Thorough negotiation
• Full disclosure (intoxication, health
problems/medications, emotional state)
• Disclosing “newbie” status
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
Go forth and be awesome!
Be kind, be respectful, be considerate!
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai
I guess I wasn’t responsible. I
didn’t say no pool noodles.
Next up: Takenbysilence - Blowjobs
FetLife: NumberOneCrush. XCBDSM: Kasai No Yosai