Transcript TOY essay feedback 08-09

Essay feedback lecture
Troubles of Youth
What are we going to cover?
• What does a good essay look like?
– Style/presentation
– Referencing
– Structure
– Content
• Critical thinking
• The specific questions
Marking guide
1st
70% +
2.1
65% 69%
60% 64%
55% 59%
2.2
3rd
50% 54%
45% 49%
40% 44%
Condoned 35% 39%
fail
Fail
Everything for a 2.1 plus originality
Everything for a 2.2 plus an argument that is sophisticated and
interesting with tight referencing to material that exceeds the
required reading.
Everything for a 2.2 and a clear argument throughout the essay
supported by tight referencing to the required sources.
Good understanding of subject & question. More descriptive than
critical. A well organised essay (clear structure, good introduction,
maintains focus throughout).
Good understanding of question & reasonable understanding of
subject. Includes required sources. Some weaknesses in focus or
structure.
Reasonable understanding of the question and subject. Very
limited references. Weak structure and/or poor English
Only limited understanding of the question and the subject. Very
limited references. Weak structure and/or poor English
Very limited understanding of the subject. Virtually no attempt to
address the question. Very limited/non-existent references. Weak
structure and/or poor English
Based partly on Roberts, A., Burford, C. And Mew, S. (undated) Essay Marking Guide
http://www.mdx.ac.uk/WWW/STUDY/MarkGuid.htm
EFFECTIVE USE OF ENGLISH
Style/presentation
What we are looking for
• Clear use of English
• Good presentation
– Conventional font in a
reasonable size
– Page numbers
– Double spacing
Common problems
• Poor use of English
made it hard to follow
arguments
– Poor sentence
construction
– Spelling mistakes/typo's
• Not including page
numbers
Sentence length
• Average sentence length of 15-20 words.
• “This does not mean making every
sentence the same length. Be punchy.
Vary your writing by mixing short
sentences (like the last one) with longer
ones (like this one), following the basic
principle of sticking to one main idea in a
sentence, plus perhaps one other related
point.”
Plain English Campaign (2001) How To Write Reports in Plain English
STRUCTURE
Structure
What we look for
• Clear introduction
demonstrating
understanding of
subject and question
• Sections defined clearly
• Maintaining focus so
that your
argument/thesis is
clearly developed
through the essay
Common problems
• Limited introduction or
no introduction
• Disjointed – lack of flow
• Lack of sign-posting
What is ‘sign-posting’?
• Your essay probably has between 3 and 6
main sections.
• At the start of each section, ‘sign-post’ for the
reader eg
– “I will now examine the strengths of police crime
statistics . . .”
– “Having described the strengths of the jury
system, this essay will now analyse the
weaknesses . . .”
SOURCES AND REFERENCING
Sources and references
What we are looking for
• Reference to a range of
sources (eg text books,
articles, newspapers)
• Use of predominantly
academic sources
• Where non-academic
sources are used their
limitations are recognised
and they are used
appropriately
• Well chosen quotes
Common problems
• Insufficient references
• Over reliance on one source
• Not using Harvard
referencing
• Not including all references
in the Bibliography
• Uncritical use of sources,
particularly non-academic
ones
Why is this so important?
• The use of an appropriate range of resources
and their effective citation is important
evidence of:
1. Your understanding of the topic
2. Your ability to think critically
Selecting quotes
•
•
•
•
Only quote when:
it is a key piece of text;
a succinct summary of an overall point; or
a piece of text that would lose its meaning if
you paraphrased it.
Harvard referencing
There is a clear distinction to be made between multi-agency
working and inter-agency partnerships. The latter are
distinguished by the way partnerships change the way
individual agencies work and the degree of interdependence
between partners (Crawford 1998: 175).
Bibliography
Crawford, A. (1998) Crime Prevention and Community
Safety, Longman
Referencing from edited collections
• When referencing books such as the Oxford
Handbook of Criminology which are compendiums of
material by a number of authors, it is not sufficient
to reference them simply by the name of the editor
eg Maguire et al.
• This leaves the reader unable to identify which
author was responsible for the material being
referenced.
• Fox, C. (2000) ‘What I Did On My Holidays’, in
Ellingworth, D. The Bumper Book of Tedious Holiday
Stories, London: Anyoldrubbish Publications
CRITICAL ANALYSIS
Critical analysis
What is it?
• Establishing whether we
believe what we see or hear
• Actually trying to find out
whether something is likely
to be true
• Arguing and presenting our
own case and convincing
others to accept our point
of view
Indications
• Identifiable and dependent
steps in an argument
• Statements are supported
by evidence (theories or
research findings)
• Strengths and weaknesses
of theories and research are
discussed
Poor critical analysis
• Broad/generalising/sweeping statements
which are not clearly supported by evidence
• Limited referencing or a narrow range of
sources
• Poor choice of sources (eg Wikipedia) or a
failure to identify the potential bias or
limitations of a source
Essay questions: 1st essay
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
To what extent are young people’s lives affected by ‘risk aversion’, and
what are the effects of this?
How useful is the concept of ‘gangs’ to explaining young people’s
deviance?
What significance should be placed on economic and political shifts since
1980 in understanding the experiences of young people?
How can an understanding of the age-crime curve inform appropriate
ways of responding to young offenders?
What are the important differences in the experience of young women
and young men?
Critically assess the links drawn between parenting and youth deviance.
Why do youth justice professionals argue for a reduction in the use of
incarceration for young people, and why has this been unsuccessful?
Question
1. To what extent
are young
people’s lives
affected by ‘risk
aversion’, and
what are the
effects of this?
When it was done well




Good definition of risk aversion

Recognised the distinction between risk factors
and risk aversion, but addressed the links

between them
Considered aspects associated with different
areas: e.g. parenting, schools, criminal justice
Considered the theory critically
When it was done
poorly
Focussed on just risk
factors
Little empirical evidence
of trends
2.
How useful is

the concept of
‘gangs’ to

explaining young
people’s

deviance?

Recognised the contested nature of the term

'gang', and the range of definitions used
Considered both objective aspects (causal
links), and subjective meanings

Recognised that 'gangs' and 'young people's
deviance' are two separate phenomena
Engaged with contemporary literature eg Pitts

for an up-to-date view and Morash to challenge
the ‘classic’ studies
Adopted a simple, single
definition of the term
'gangs'
Relied on just 'classic'
studies, and/or popular
media output
Didn't use the articles
provided through the
Wiki
3.
What

significance

should be placed
on economic
and political
shifts since 1980
in understanding
the experiences
of young
people?
Detailed consideration of area
Focussed on a particular issue (e.g. criminal
justice policy)

(Nothing specific to note)
5.
6.
What are the important 
differences in the
experience of young

women and young
men?
Critically assess the

links drawn between
parenting and youth
deviance.


7.
Why do youth justice

professionals argue for
a reduction in the use
of incarceration for

young people, and why
has this been
unsuccessful?

Identified one or two areas to
consider in detail
Achieved a balance between
empirical and theoretical material
'Unpacked' the term parenting, and
considered family structure, parenting
style (e.g. discipline, attachment)
separately (poss. also
affluence/deprivation, and genetic
links)
Recognised the 'scapegoating' of
parents as an 'easy target' in the
media, and as a target for
intervention by the government
Engaged with relevant research
evidence
Considered the level, trends in youth
incarceration (how much, how is it
used, what forms does it take);
Discussed a number of arguments
against its use (eg high rates of
recidivism, quality of rehabilitative
work, cost);
Identified reasons for its continued
use (e.g demonisation of youth; lack
of faith in alternatives; sentencing
policies)








Failed to talk specifically about
the experience of young people
Or failed to draw out the gender
aspect
Little empirical material
Saw problematic parenting as
simply 'single parenthood'
Used terminology such as the
'broken home' or 'dysfunctional
family' uncritically
Assumed links between single
parenthood and youth deviance
without evidence
Didn't use the articles provided
through the Wiki
Didn't discuss (one or more of)
uses youth incarceration;
arguments against its use; and
reasons for its continued use