The Role of Communication in Maintaining Relationships

By Mr Daniel Hansson

Questions for Discussion

1. Think of a relationship that works well and a relationship that does not work so well. Think of reasons why there is a difference in how well these relationships work 2. Think of ways that men and women are different when it comes to communication 3. List all the personal information that you know about people in the class 4. Think back to the therapy role plays that we did last year. What worked well, what did not and what were the reasons?

Characteristics of communication

We communicate for a variety of reasons Communication may have intentional and unintentional effects Communication is reciprocal Communication involves at least two people who influence each other’s actions Communication involves the use of symbols Communication need not be successful to have occurred

Communication and relationships

Communication is one of most important factors for a well functioning relationship If there is no communication there is no relationship Communication is especially important in therapeutic relationships

Communication Factors Influencing the Quality of a Relationship

Attribution Self disclosure Individual and cultural differences in communication

Attribution

Attribution theory (Kelley 1973):

We use multiple observations of others to draw inferences about the causes of someone’s behavior. Our knowledge about people is based on these inferences and affects our perception about them

Attribution

Fundamental attribution error:

The tendency to overestimate dispositional factors and to underestimate situational factors of behavior

Bradbury & Fincham (1990):

Conducted a meta analysis of research studies on attributions made by couples on each others behavior. Poor marital quality was related to attributing negative behaviors to dispositional factors.

Bradbury & Fincham (1993):

A 12-month longitudinal study showed that the kind of attributions married couples made predicted marital satisfaction at the end of the study.

Self Disclosure

Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973):

Relationships are formed by a gradual process of self-disclosure; the sharing of personal facts, inner thoughts and feelings

Collins & Miller (1994):

A meta analysis showed that people who disclose intimate information about themselves are more liked than people who don’t

Johari window

Known to self Known to others Open Not known to self Blind Not known to others Hidden Unknown

Individual Differences

Tannen (1990):

In observational studies, she found gender differences in how men and women have conversations. Men interrupt more, women use more language tags, women prefer emotional support whereas men tend to have a problem solving approach to problems

Reis (1986):

Women self disclose more than men. Women also disclose more to other women than men to other men.