Transcript Listening to Learn

Listening to Learn
Joseph Trovato
Troop Guide
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Listening to Learn
Provide ground rules:
•Note taking is encouraged-Objectives given out
•Additional Handouts at end of presentation
•Ask questions when you have them
The most important leadership skill is Communication.
The most important communication skill is Listening.
Have you ever been in a situation where people weren’t listening?
Or you thought they were, but they misunderstood?
Or perhaps you misunderstood?
Or perhaps you understood what they said, but you didn’t fully
appreciate the importance to them?
Do you know how to listen effectively?
Effective listening is key to many of the other leadership skills, so it is
the first one taught in Wood Badge.
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Learning Objectives
Become aware of how we listen.
 Explore good listening as a
communication skill.
 Practice the skills of active and
empathetic listening.
 Examine the relationship between
listening skills and the receiving
and giving of feedback.

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Learning Objectives
Become aware of how we listen.
 Explore good listening as a
communication skill.
 Practice the skills of active and
empathetic listening.
 Examine the relationship between
listening skills and the receiving
and giving of feedback.

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Role Play
Let’s talk about a recent trip or vacation.
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Role Play: Instructions: group into pairs, one speaker/one listener.
Speaker talks to listener for 1-2 minutes about a recent trip or vacation.
Listener is given behavior card to follow. Behaviors are: Interrupt the
speaker; give advice before speaker is done; give blank look; be bored.
Discussion: Put answers on flip chart
Ask speakers: What did you just experience?
How did the reactions of the listeners affect you?
Ask the listeners: How did the speakers respond to your behavior?
What is Listening?
Why is listening such an important part of learning?
Listening is an essential part of communication, yet we take it for
granted. We don’t teach it in our schools. There are courses on
writing and in public speaking, but seldom does a course focus on the
skill of listening.
This Wood Badge session is designed to change that. By making
ourselves aware of the importance of listening and the ways in which
we do it, all of us can more effectively use listening as a tool for
learning and for leadership.
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Why is listening a
key skill of
leadership?
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Why is listening a
key skill of
leadership?
Solicit responses and put on flip chart.
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Why is Listening a Key Skill
of Leadership?

Listening is a primary means for
connecting with other people.

Listening provides the means to
make decisions and solve problems.
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Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership?
• Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people.
Sharing ideas and experiences with one another creates a pool of
familiarity among us. From that grows trust, understanding, an
awareness of strengths and skills – the building blocks of friendships
and teamwork.
Listening can be powerful when young people are involved. For
many of Scouting age, it is unusual to have adults truly pay
attention to them. Listening to them with care and understanding
can be very meaningful for young people and also for the adults.
• Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve
problems
Listening is the glue that holds a team together. It is the doorway
through which ideas pass. It is the window in which solutions
appear.
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“Seek first to understand
then be understood”
Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People
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“Seek first to understand
then be understood”
Stephen Covey
Stephen R. Covey is chairman and founder of Covey Leadership Center.
He is author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, with over
12 million copies sold in 32 languages.
Known internationally as an author, lecturer, teacher and leadership
mentor.
Trained thousands of leaders in business, industry, education and
government in the principles of management and leadership
development.
There are two types of effective listening active and empathetic.
What do you think active listening means? Board them.
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Two Parts of Effective Listening
Active Listening
 Reflects back
 Rephrases
 No value judgments
 Strives to hear the message
 Looks for the main thought or idea
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Two Parts of Effective Listening
Active Listening
Reflects back what a person is saying to confirm
comprehension “What I understand you to be saying is
this…”
 By rephrasing the information and bouncing it back to the
speaker, the listener confirms that the message has
been correctly received.
 Listeners doing this are not making value judgments.
 They are simply making sure they are hearing what the
speakers have to say and they are letting the speakers know
that their messages are getting through.
 A good listener looks for the main thought or idea. We
don’t all think the same way – some will first state the big
picture, others will start with the details. A skilled listener
can extract the message regardless of the style of the
speaker.
Q: Now we know what Active Listening is…What is
Empathetic Listening? Put answers on flip chart

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Two Parts of Effective Listening
Empathetic Listening
 Sincere attempt to understand
 Pay attention to body language, tone of
voice, emotional sense
 Imagine things from the speaker’s point
of view
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Two Parts of Effective Listening
Empathetic Listening



Sincere attempt on the part of a listener to understand
in depth what a speaker is saying.
Empathetic listeners pay attention to more than just
the words they hear. They also take care to notice a
speaker’s body language, tone of voice, and emotional
sense and consider them part of the message package
the speaker is sending.
Requires listeners to:
– Put themselves in the speaker’s place
– Imagine things from the speaker’s point of view
– Try to understand how the speaker feels
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Exercise in Effective
Listening
• Simply say “I got it”
• Respond by rephrasing the message.
• Rephrase the message, and also share any
deeper understanding of the speaker’s
feelings.
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Exercise in Effective Listening
•
Participants form pairs – one speaker, one listener
•
For several minutes, the speakers will talk about something they
enjoy (hobby, sport, or family activity)
•
Listeners will try out different listening styles:
•
•
Pay close attention and acknowledge a speaker’s message
simply by saying, “I got it.” Offer no further feedback or
judgment.
•
Pay close attention and respond by rephrasing the message.
•
Rephrase the message, and also share any deeper
understanding of the speakers’ feelings. Listeners should
take into consideration the speakers’ body language, tone of
voice, facial expressions, and other spoken and silent signals
that will help enhance understanding.
Listeners and speakers trade roles and repeat the exercise. Now ask
Which style was the most effective?
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Effective
Listening:
Active
and
Empathetic
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Effective
Listening:
Active
and
Empathetic
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Monitoring
Our
Listening
Level
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Monitoring our Listening Level
How do you respond –
• When you are hearing something you
don’t want to hear?
• When a speaker is angry?
• When you are tired or hungry?
A key to effective listening is being aware of our
current situation, energy level and interest.
• If we are upset, it may affect how we listen.
• Being drowsy will impact our attention span.
• What if you are chilly, hot, or late for another
appointment?
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Monitoring
Our
Listening
Level
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Monitoring our Listening Level
What are some things you can do to help you adjust
to better grasp the message of a speaker?
•Focus more on what is being said.
•Call time out to put on sweater, get something to
eat, take care of something distracting you, or let
your emotions cool down.
Then you can get back together under conditions
more conductive to good listening.
Can we control every listening situation?
Often we are in situations that make communication
difficult.
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Good Listening Skills
Are powerful tools for:
•
calming adversarial situations
•
finding solutions to problems.
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Good Listening Skills
Are powerful tools for:
•
calming adversarial situations
•
finding solutions to problems.
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Role Play
Listening in Adversarial Situations
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Ask for Volunteer - You are to play the role of a scout who is very angry about
the way others in his unit are treating him.
•
So, what seems to be the problem? (Encourage the scout to keep talking)
•
I See.
I hear you saying…..? (Offer no judgment or feedback)
•
Is there anything else?
•
Now we’ve heard what you don’t want (give some examples), Now tell me
what you do want……… (focus on positive aspects rather than negative ones)
Lead discussion – ask…..
What did you observe? How did the scout react to the leader listening?
How did the leader show the scout that he was listening?
Would you say that speakers respond to how others are listening to
them?….Acknowledge but don’t immediately judge their
complaints….If there is no enabling by the listener, complaints will
seem smaller and ultimately more manageable.
By taking a negative and flipping it around to a positive, a listener can
also structure a more productive framework for finding solutions. (I
hear what you don’t want, now tell me what you do want)
A conversation cast in a positive light naturally involves more empathy
and support. Body language of listeners and speakers becomes
more open, and chances for resolution are greatly enhanced.
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Listeners should always
strive to create a
positive present
as opposed to a
negative past.
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Listeners should always
strive to create a
positive present
as opposed to a
negative past.
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Giving &
Receiving
Feedback
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Giving & Receiving Feedback
Receiving feedback can sometimes be difficult. However, by using
effective listening skills, a feedback situation may be turned into a
positive experience.
ASK –
Have you ever had someone give you advice about something? How did it
feel to be receiving feedback?
Have you ever been in a position to tell people how they can do something
better? Or how they might make a positive change in their behavior? How
did it feel to be offering feedback?
From time to time, all of us find ourselves giving and receiving feedback. It
is a basic part of team development, of leadership, and of friendships.
For feedback to be helpful, both parties must use the skills of effective
listening. Show slide on Tips on Giving/Receiving Feedback.
Also in handout form……
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Giving and Receiving Feedback





Ask questions to build rapport.
Use open-ended questions.
– Who? Why? How?
Listen to their message.
Be aware of your body language.
Be aware of their body language.
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Giving and Receiving Feedback





Ask questions to build rapport.
Use open-ended questions.
– Who? Why? How?
Listen to their message.
Be aware of your body language.
Be aware of their body language.
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Tips on Giving Feedback








Be helpful.
Is recipient open to feedback?
Deal only with changeable behaviors.
Deal with specifics, not generalities.
Describe the behavior; DO NOT evaluate
it.
Describe the impact to you.
Accept your responsibility.
Check understanding
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Tips on Giving Feedback








Consider your motives. Feedback should always be
helpful; otherwise there is no reason to offer it.
Find out if the other people involved are open to receiving
feedback. Listen carefully, then rephrase what they are
saying to be sure you understand them.
Deal only with behavior that can be changed.
Deal with specifics, not generalities.
Describe the behavior; do not evaluate it.
Let the other person know the impact the behavior has
on you.
Use an “I” statement to accept responsibility for your
own perceptions and emotions.
To make sure the recipients of feedback have understood
your message in the way you intended it, ask them to
rephrase what they heard you say.
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Tips on Giving Feedback
You can give caring feedback
without a good technique,
but the slickest technique in
the world will not hide a lack
of caring.
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Tips on Giving Feedback
You can give caring feedback
without a good technique,
but the slickest technique in
the world will not hide a lack
of caring.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback

Seek out feedback.

Listen carefully.

Listen actively.

Listen empathetically.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback




Seek out feedback. It will nearly always provide you
with information that will in some way help you
improve your performance.
Listen carefully. Receiving feedback requires a
heightened awareness of yourself and the person
offering the feedback.
Listen actively. Restate the feedback in your own
words so that the speaker knows that the message you
are receiving is the same as the one the speaker
intended to send. Ask clarifying questions.
Listen empathetically. Put feedback in its proper
context by observing the speaker’s body language,
tone of voice, and emotions. Consider the speaker’s
reasons for offering feedback.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback

Try not to become angry or
defensive.

Remember
– You are not a “bad” person
– People still like and respect you

Retain perspective and context.

Do not discount feedback based upon
the source.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback





Notice how you are feeling when someone is offering
you feedback. Becoming angry or defensive can
cloud your ability to listen effectively.
Having another point out your improvement areas
does not make you a “bad” person.
It does not mean the person will no longer like or
respect you because of your “imperfections.”
You should always put the feedback in its proper
perspective and context. Constructive feedback
should not be weighed disproportionately.
Do not automatically discount the feedback
based upon the source.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback
Consider feedback
to be a gift.
It truly is.
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Tips on Receiving Feedback
Consider feedback
to be a gift.
It truly is.
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Summary





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Effective Listening is a skill that each of
us can learn and can constantly improve
upon.
Listening plays a vital role in forming
relationships, developing teams, and
finding solutions.
The best listening is both active and
empathetic.
Listening can be a tool in turning a
negative situation into a positive one.
Listening well is an important part of both
receiving and giving feedback.
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Summary





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Effective Listening is a skill that each of
us can learn and can constantly improve
upon.
Listening plays a vital role in forming
relationships, developing teams, and
finding solutions.
The best listening is both active and
empathetic.
Listening can be a tool in turning a
negative situation into a positive one.
Listening well is an important part of both
receiving and giving feedback.
23A
Learning Objectives




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Become aware of how we listen.
Explore good listening as a
communication skill.
Practice the skills of active and
empathetic listening.
Examine the relationship between
listening skills and the receiving and
giving of feedback.
24
Learning Objectives




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Become aware of how we listen.
Explore good listening as a
communication skill.
Practice the skills of active and
empathetic listening.
Examine the relationship between
listening skills and the receiving and
giving of feedback.
24A
Thank You !
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