Transcript Slide 1

PARENTING THE
PAMPERED GENERATION
Living in a Culture
of Entitlement
Dr. Maggie Mamen
Psychologist
WARNING!
This presentation may involve
politically incorrect opinions,
relatively coarse language,
and common sense.
Viewer discretion is advised.
“Children these days are tyrants.
They contradict their parents,
gobble their food, and tyrannize
their teachers.”
Socrates, 400 BC
CREATING THE “ME”
GENERATION
Backlash against “Victorian” parenting
Children’s rights movement
Legislation regarding decision-making
Legacy of abuse
Child-centred, focus on self-esteem
NOTE TO SELF:
YOU GOTTA DO THIS FOR
YOU.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
THIS ISN’T ABOUT ANYBODY.
LIVE FOR YOU.
HONOUR YOU.
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THAT.
MYTHS THAT CHILDREN SHOULD
…
always be happy and never be bored
be given choices, and be consulted before
adults make decisions
be told why they have to do something
and agree with the reason
be treated equally to each
other and to adults
have their needs met immediately
always feel good about themselves
Culture of entitlement
Confuse
rights/privileges,
wants/needs
Think they’re
‘management’
THE PAMPERED
GENERATION …
Addicted to high levels of
stimulation
Zero tolerance for
boredom
Limited problem-solving
skills to deal with real life
experience
Lack of respect for
adults/authority
Child-driven, powerless,
devalued parents
THE PAMPERED
GENERATION …
Increasing incidence of
mental health problems
FIVE LESSONS
TO COUNTER THE
CULTURE OF
ENTITLEMENT
“SHORT-TERM PAIN FOR LONGTERM GAIN”
To learn to develop patience
and a good work ethic
not everything we do is “fun,” and we won’t
always like what we’re asked to do
sometimes we have to do something over
and over in order to improve
 hard work, persistence, grit pay off!
“OUT OF BOREDOM
COMES CREATIVITY”
(Albert Einstein)
To learn to develop internal resources
to adapt to the real world
 we need to tolerate “down-time”
 being “bored” isn’t the ticket to
more exciting things to do
 even virtuosos sometimes have
to play with the orchestra
“SOMETIMES CHILDREN
SHOULD BE SEEN BUT NOT
HEARD”
To learn respect for others
“good listening”
 impulse control
 a time and a place
“YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY
FOR!”
To learn that our choices give us
some control over our fate …
informed choices – if there is a
choice!
 living with chosen
consequences
 building trust and
“LIFE IS NOT
A DEMOCRACY”
To learn that life does not always treat
people equally
 you will not always be consulted
about important decisions
 “weighted” votes
 who said life is fair?
A DOZEN USEFUL PHRASES …
That’s nice! Good for you! Really?
It’s your choice. It’s up to you.
I don’t have to, I choose to.
We have a problem here.
So this is what’s going to happen.
If you want an answer now, it’s “no.”
That’s not the issue.
When you have …, then you may …
Let me know when you’re ready.
I know you’re angry/upset/…, so …
Because I asked you to!
Suck it up!
Available from
www.centrepointepros.co
m
www.amazon.co.uk
www.jkp.com
or
as an e-book