Transcript Keys to a Successful Freshmen Year

- Hodding Carter
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Bellarmine values your interest in, and
relationship with, your freshman and his/her
college experience
Bellarmine acknowledges that freshmen are
likely to have very close parent & family
relationships…that’s good
Bellarmine’s goal is to facilitate growth and
empowerment in your freshman, which
includes helping him/her overcome
challenges (which involves making mistakes)
ENMESHMENT (two or more people
weave their lives and identities
around one another so tightly that
it is difficult for any one of them to
function independently…VS
SELF-RELIANCE (dependence on
one’s own judgment, efforts &
abilities)
You are there to…
 Provide structure
 Give advice (when asked!)
 Be a sounding board
 Serve as a role model (a good one!)
Yet, your freshman needs to step up to the
plate…
to build skills in making
decisions & facing challenges.
A snow plow…
who tries to smooth out
every bump or problem and solve every issue…
A hovercraft…
who calls daily (or
more), is an alarm service, makes academic &
financial decisions, is overinvolved in emotions…
A blackhawk…
administrators,
or rescues, may
who calls profs or
intervenes in conflicts
even employ threats!
1) Inform yourself about BU’s student services,
campus activities, and organizations that
are available to provide support (ARC,
Campus Ministry, Counseling Center,
Disability Services, etc.)
When problems arise, direct your freshman to these services rather than
solving the problem yourself (ie, roommate issues, difficulty with a course
assignment, low test grade)
2) Wait until your freshman calls you…they will
call!!! This helps to avoid:
A) Emotional rollercoaster
“I hate it here, my
classes are dumb, I
don’t like anyone!”
Translation: I want you to buy
me a car so that I can go see my boyfriend two
hours away!
B) Reacting too quickly to homesickness…
Most freshmen experience some degree of
homesickness, which is very natural and may
occur even several months after beginning
college. BU has many support services to help
freshmen deal with this. You can help by encouraging these services, re-assuring
that this will pass, and reminding
yourself that overcoming this will
strengthen their ability to cope.
3) This is the time for freshmen to learn…and
to make mistakes…let them! Avoid being
over-involved in their academic life:
A) If your freshman is upset over a grade or
confused about an assignment, advise him/
her to talk with the professor (profs do not
appreciate calls from parents!) or seek help
from the Academic Resource Center (ARC).
B) We learn by doing the work ourselves!
Resist the temptation to “edit” your freshman’s
work!
4) Students will follow their own passion,
which, by the way, may be different from
what you envisioned!
Be patient…forcing a son or daughter into
an academic field can result in intentional
failure on the student’s part or significant
unhappiness after college.
***Career Services can help!
5) Stress that learning is HARD WORK!
Generally speaking…there is NO EXTRA CREDIT
in college!
Parents can be most supportive by:
 Stressing the need for their freshman to abide
by all policies/procedures in course syllabi
and the university handbook;
 Discouraging absenteeism from classes,
including “parent-approved” absences;
 Helping their freshman understand that
college is different; there are high
expectations for performance that require
compliance to professors’ requests and
standards.
6) Avoid being the anti-helicopter parent as
well! Appropriate parent support is
beneficial - ask how things are going…
including coursework, relationships with
friends, campus activities, etc.
Most important…if you suspect that your
freshman may be depressed or excessively
stressed or struggling, do not hesitate to
contact the university!
When you feel the urge to “hover,” or when you
think you need to “smooth out some wrinkles,”
Please call the ARC (502-452-8071) and
simply say…
“I want to speak to one of the
advisors.”