Transcript Be a Mentor, Inc. 24301 Southland Drive, suite 504 Hayward

Welcome!
Please take a seat and help
yourself to refreshments!
Training manual and other docs
are digital and will be emailed to
you after the training. Feel free to
use the provided materials to take
notes!
Prospective Mentors’ Training
BE A MENTOR, INC.
24301 SOUTHLAND DRIVE, SUITE 504
HAYWARD, CA 94545
TRAINING GUIDELINES
Maintain confidentiality
 Be here now: Turn off cell
phones
 Respect differences
 Ask questions
 Respect other attendees’
time
 HAVE FUN!!!
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WHAT’S TODAY’S TRAINING ABOUT?
Be A Mentor program protocols, expectations,
and current projects
 Better understanding the issues facing youth
 Establish the role of a mentor
 Understand and demonstrate skilled mentoring
practices
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We all come from different experiences and lifestyles.
What you need to learn could be vastly different from others’ needs.
There’s a lot we can learn from one another.
Let’s start with introductions!
INTRODUCE YOUR PARTNER!
Introduce yourself to your partner.
Each person will have 3 minutes to ‘interview’ their partner.
Once both of you have had an opportunity to interview…
You will introduce your partner to the group and share:
3 things that YOU THINK make your partner a
GOOD MENTOR!
HOW TO BECOME A MENTOR
Make an application at beamentor.org
 Complete mentor eligibility clearance items
 Interview with a coordinator
 Families are interviewed
 Coordinator contacts you about a match
 Match meeting with family and coordinator
 Keep activity logs on your weekly outings
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Pending – Mentors for
Cox Elementary black
boys, 8-12 years old, east
Oakland. Need to reduce
recidivism for repeated
disciplinary action for
class disruption and
occasional fighting.
Pending – DreamCatcher
homeless & trafficked
youth shelter. This
program would aim to
match 10 youths a month
with mentors. Still in the
works, not much
information.
CURRENT PROJECTS
THE ROLE OF THE MENTOR
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Academic help
Goal-setting
Career exploration
assistance
Emotional support
Exposure to new things
Companionship
WHY DO YOUTHS NEED MENTORS?
Peer pressure
 Substance abuse
 Sexuality
 Social skills
 Anger management
 Role-modeling
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Mental illness
 Nutrition & Health
 Home pressure
 Goal-setting
 Failing grades
 Absenteeism
 Bullying
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BREAK!
We’ll be taking a 5 minute break. Please help yourself to refreshments.
Bathrooms are back in the hall you entered through, on your left.
Women’s bathroom code is 142
Men’s bathroom code is 152
IF I HAD A TIME MACHINE…
STAGES IN A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP –
IT’S A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!
“Honeymoon period”-
Trust
WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
What would make you upset to see or hear about when you visit with your mentee?
Take a few minutes to share with your partner what would personally upset you.
Examples: the youth’s home is very filthy; the youth curses a lot; the mentor has
observed the youth’s parents yelling at them sometimes
Now, one of you will pretend to be the ‘mentor’ and one will pretend to be the
‘mentee’. The mentee will act out the ‘uncomfortable’ issue and the mentor will
choose how to engage. Really think about how YOU would FEEL encountering this ‘pet
peeve’ of yours, or in the mentee’s case, the situation. You have 5 minutes!
Mentor:
How will you deal with your discomfort
with the situation? How will you choose to
engage your mentee about it?
Mentee:
Pretend you are 13 (just like in the time
machine activity) and dealing with the
mentor’s described uncomfortable
situation. What do you think about the
mentor engaging you about it?
An exercise in active listening
Tell me a story about a girl who doesn’t do well in school, why she doesn’t do well, and what she
could do to be better.
Each person will contribute a line.
Let’s start with:
“Kara’s 12th birthday was last week, but she didn’t get to have a birthday party
because her grades were so low that Mom was very mad.”
A STORY TO TELL
ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS
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Engage yourself
Keep an open mind
Minimize distractions
Focus solely on
speaker
Respond appropriately
Maintain eye contact
Paraphrase / restate
Ask for clarification
• Check your
assumptions
• Summarize
• Reflect on content
• Make empathic
connections to content
• Give feedback
• Use “I” Statements
• Ask questions
BREAK!
We’ll be taking a 5 minute break. Please help yourself to refreshments.
Bathrooms are back in the hall you entered through, on your left.
Women’s bathroom code is 142
Men’s bathroom code is 152
TOP 8 MENTORING MISTAKES!
1. Failure to communicate or
maintain boundaries
2. Sporadic meetings
3. Expecting equal participation
4. Imposing personal values
5. Not asking for help from your
coordinator
6. Expecting gratitude
7. Giving cash, used items,
expensive gifts
8. Becoming the parent’s friend,
not the child’s
SKILLS OF AN EFFECTIVE MENTOR
Allows Youth to
Make Mistakes
Respects
Youth’s
Viewpoints
Communicates
Authentically
Is Committed
Involves Youth
in Decisions
An Effective
Mentor
Keeps Relationship
Alive
Separates
Expectations
GUIDELINES FOR DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
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Discuss the problem.
Think beforehand about
what you want to
accomplish.
Bring things up early in visit.
Separate the behavior from
the person.
Stay serious but supportive.
Discuss sensitive issues in a
private place.
Consider relating something
personal.
Reinforce something
positive about your Mentee.
CONFIDENTIALITY
When do I break it?
 How should I break it?
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Scenario 1:
You pick your mentee up for lunch. He seems
more distracted than usual. After talking about
school for a bit, your mentee reveals that he can’t
concentrate because he hasn’t been getting much
sleep. He’s been sleeping on his friend’s couch for
the past couple of weeks because his mom kicked
him out of the house after finding out he’s gay.
Scenario 1:
Your mentee has mentioned that she may be going
to a party over the weekend. She laughs while
telling you that “it’s gonna be crazy” and “it sounds
like some of my boy’s connects are going to be
there.” While she has never received punishment
for substance abuse, she has continuously made
comments insinuating that she does drugs. When
asked, she denies it.
MENTOR COMMITMENT
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Consistent weekly outings (or more)
Weekly telephone contact
Consistent contact with parents
Attend mentor events
At least one year of a mentor relationship
Log activities with mentee on our site
Don’t be afraid to ask for help!!
THANK YOU FOR COMING!!
Please, help make us better! Fill out the evaluation sheet before you leave!
If you haven’t had an interview with a coordinator yet, let’s set one up before you go!
You’ll be followed up with on Monday and be emailed on what to do next, and be given
a training resource manual! It’s all digital so you can access it whenever you want!