Transcript The Six Traits of Writing - Team Blue

Student Objectives
Students will:
 Write using the elements of the Six Traits of Writing
 Evaluate papers based on the Six Traits of Writing
rubric
What You Will Learn
 How to write using the Six Traits
 Why use the Six Traits rubric?
 The rubric helps students know what is expected.
 The rubric helps students to assess and improve their
writing.
 The rubric helps a teacher assess the quality of a
student’s writing.
Six Traits of Writing
Writing is like….
Writing is like a guitar. Guitars have six different strings. Each string has
a different note or tone to it. Some are high, and some are low. If you
were to play a song with one string, the song would be rather dull,
boring, and monotonous. However, if the six strings are played
together, and they are given an interesting rhythm, the gorgeous
melody floats across the room and stirs the soul.
Writing is the same in many ways. There are many different elements,
rules, ad steps that need to b followed. Without all of the elements,
the writing lacks something. With all of the elements and a little
creativity, the writing can stir the soul.
Analogy by Bryan Hatch
What you will learn
 Ideas & Content
 Organization
 Voice
 Word Choice
 Sentence Fluency
 Conventions
Ideas & Content Domain
 Definition
 The message the writer conveys; what the writer has to
say.
 This should be fresh and original; unique to the writer’s
personal experience.
 The content must contain details to support the main
message.
 Ideas convey PASSION
 Ideas SHOW versus TELL
Ideas Convey Passion
Be passionate about your writing.
Ideas are the heart of any piece of writing. Ideas are all
about information. In a good creative piece, ideas
paint pictures in a reader’s mind. In an informational
essay, strong ideas make hard-to-penetrate text more
‘reader friendly’. Two things make ideas work well in
any type of writing, including persuasive: clarity and
details. Good writing always makes sense. And it
includes details – not just any old detail, but those
beyond-the-obvious bits of information that
thoughtful, observant writers notice.
Show vs Tell
“Show, don’t tell.” ~ Henry James
“Don’t say the old lady screamed – bring her on and let
her scream.” ~ Mark Twain
“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of
light on broken glass.” ~ Anton Chekhov
Show vs Tell
Good writing evokes sensation in the reader – not the
fact that it is raining but the feeling of being rained
upon.
We have all heard the Fred Barnard’s saying, “A picture is
worth a thousand words.”
Your goal: make your writing equal to the thousand
words of a picture.
“Tell” Statement
Tell statement example:
“Martin Luther King, Jr. was a great speaker.”
To convert a ‘tell’ statement to a ‘show’ statement, add details
that incorporate vivid descriptions that makes the reader
feel like he is right there living the experience.
Tell statements are not bad, but for every ‘tell’ statement, you
should have three ‘show’ statements.
ONE ‘Tell’ Statement = THREE ‘Show’ Statements
‘Show’ Statements
Good writing uses a variety of specifics and a lot of
different types of details.
“Leaping the River” means taking your writing from the
learner level (score 1) up to a expert mastery level
(score 4).
To Do: Watch the video “Adora’s Video on Ideas and
Content” to see the perspective of a 12 year old (see
Moodle file).
Ideas & Content Exercise #1
1.
Read the following writing samples (see links on
Moodle):
The Silkworm Example 1 and Example 2
Mouse Alert
2.
3.
Use the rubric to score each writing sample for Ideas and
Content only.
In your Six Traits Notes and Assignments Worksheet (on
Moodle), score Sample 1 and 2 for Ideas (1 – 4) and
answer the following questions for each:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Describe why you gave it the score you did.
Describe what was good and what could be improved.
Describe how each writer fared with Ideas.
Which writing sample conveyed stronger Ideas? How so?
“Leveling”
Level 1 (Tell Statement): Uses an Adjective.
Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke inspiring words.
Level 2 (More Show than Tell Statement): Shows what
you meant with that one adjective by dropping the
adjective.
People stood taller, prouder, feeling the power of King’s
message, knowing that the future would be brighter for
a people that had seen dark days. There would be one
people, all brothers and sisters, together. (More Show
than Tell.)
Level 3 (Show Statement): And now….put yourself mentally
at the scene, in the event, with the person. See, hear, feel,
taste, smell. BE THERE!!! Put the reader there using the
most vivid impressions you can call to mind. Let
POWERFUL VERBS work for you.
Example: The crowd surged forward, a heat wave pushing
against my mother and me. The sea of people almost
threatening to tear me away. People were al around,
everywhere. I gripped tighter to her hand, feeling my
mother’s heartbeat, the excitement building. The voice
of the crowd boiled over when I heard the words, “Free
at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I am free at
last.”
Ideas & Content Exercise #2
1.
Read BOTH of the following student examples (on
Moodle). Pay close attention to the strong verbs.


2.
Tragedy at the Huang He River
The Bloody Nights of Emperor Qin
In your Six Traits Notes and Assignments Worksheet (on
Moodle), score each of the above student examples for
Ideas (1 – 4) and answer the following questions:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Describe why you gave it the score you did.
Describe what was good and what could be improved.
Describe how each writer fared with Ideas.
Which writing sample conveyed stronger Ideas? How so?
Ideas Exercise #2 continued
3. Using your Six Traits Notes and Assignments Worksheet,
complete the Leveling Assignment questions 1, 2, and 3.
1.
2.
3.
Write ONE sentence about a memorable historic person,
place, or event, using ONE adjective to describe that
person, place, or event. (Tell Statement)
Write 2 or 3 sentences, SHOWING what you said in that
one adjective. (Drop the adjective.)
Finally…put yourself mentally at the scene, in the event, or
with the person. See, hear, feel, taste, smell. BE THERE!!
Put the reader there using the most vivid impressions you
can call to mind. Let VERBS work for you (Show
Statements
Organization Domain
Definition of Organization:
Putting things in an order that makes sense.
Making the main idea stand out.
Using a lead (introduction) and conclusion to guide the
reader’s thinking.
To Do: Read the Organization domain on the Rubric.
What do you need to do to score a 4?
5 Paragraph Essay Structure
Paragraph 1:
Introduction
- Hook
- Overarching Main Idea & Thesis
- Stance
Paragraphs 2, 3, 4:
Body
- Topic Sentence
- Details
- Supporting Evidence
Paragraph 5:
Conclusion
- Overarching Main Idea & Thesis (re-worded)
- Stance (re-worded)
- Hook (wrap-around)
- Call for Action
Organization Definitions
Paragraph: A paragraph is made up of a Topic
Sentence, several sentences of details (the paragraph
body), and a conclusion. All parts of the paragraph
need to be aligned with the topic sentence. Everything
in the paragraph should be about the one topic of that
paragraph. If you start writing about a new topic, then
you must start a new paragraph.
Organization Definitions
Topic Sentence: This tells your readers what your
paragraph will discuss. It introduces the topic of this
one paragraph.
Details: The information readers need in order to
understand the subject of a given paragraph. The
sentences must contain details that clearly support the
Topic Sentence.
Organization Definitions
Paragraph Conclusion: A conclusion wraps up or
summarizes the main ideas of your body paragraph.
Organization Definitions
Transitions: Transitions are used to connect ideas:
 within a sentence
 between sentences
 between paragraphs
Think of a transition as a bridge. It carries us over to the
next thought, idea, or topic.
Organization Definitions
The Hook: The hook is just that—a hook. It must
“hook” your reader into your writing. The hook should
grab and hold the reader’s attention; it should make
them want to read the rest of your paper – not bore
them. If you can’t catch the reader’s in the first few
sentences, then you’ve lost their interest.
Types of hooks include: anecdote (short story), quote,
description, rhetorical question, etc.
Organization Definitions
Thesis Statement: A thesis statement is your paper
boiled down to one or two sentences that encapsulates
the topic. Each of your three main points (for a five
paragraph essay) must be included in the thesis
statement.
Introduction: The first paragraph that contains the
hook, thesis statement, stance (your position), and
main idea. This gives your audience a clue about the
direction of your essay.
Organization Definitions
Body: Each of the three paragraphs (for a five paragraph
essay) contain detailed information and examples.
The first sentence is the Topic Sentence that introduces a
new point.
Next, include multiple supporting examples and
descriptions to support that point.
Finally, include transitions to help the audience connect
ideas.
Organization Definitions
Conclusion: The last paragraph is similar to the
introduction but should not be written using the same
words. This is the final thought you are leaving with
your reader, so it needs to remind them of the main
points of your essay. Include an overarching main
idea and thesis statement, your stance (opinion) –
all of which are restructured; a wrap-up to your
original hook; and a Call for Action.
Organization Definitions
Stance: The stance is your opinion – where you stand
on the issue -- what you are trying to persuade your
audience.
Call for Action: The Call for Action asks your audience
to “do something”. It could ask them to look at the
topic from your perspective, write a letter, or do
something else very specifically.
Organization
Practice Essay
Step 1: Read one of the following essays, and then print it
(find essays in Moodle).
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“I have a dream….”
Sir Winston Churchill
“Never give in, never, never…”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
“A Date Which Will Live in Infamy”
Abraham Lincoln
Gettysburg Address
John F. Kennedy
“We choose to go to the moon….”
Susan B. Anthony
Women’s Right to Vote
Patrick Henry
“…give me liberty or give me death.”
Organization
Practice Essay
Step 2: Using the Persuasion Map graphic organizer (also
find it in Moodle), outline your chosen essay.
Step 3: While converting the speech into Outline
format, keep the following question in mind:
What is the vision or goal of the person you read
about, and what did they do to achieve that goal?
Voice Domain
Definition of Voice:
The unique personality and creativity of the writer – in
other words: the writer’s “fingerprint”.
The reader should get a sense that a real person – you –
are behind the words and meanings on the page.
To Do: Read the Voice/Word Choice domain on the
Rubric. What do you need to do to score a 4 for Voice?
Voice Exercise #1
1.
Read the following writing samples (see links on Moodle):
The Haircut from Hell
My Brother’s Nose
Attitude Problem
Parking with Dad
The Opposite of Lonliness
2.
3.
Use the rubric to score each writing sample for Voice only.
In your Six Traits Notes and Assignments Worksheet (on
Moodle), score Sample 1 and 2 for Voice(1 – 4) and answer the
following questions for each:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Describe why you gave it the score you did.
Describe what was good and what could be improved.
Describe how each writer fared with Ideas.
Which writing sample conveyed stronger Ideas? How so?
Voice Exercise #2
Voice Collage
1.
In a small group, choose one of following readings (find
in Moodle).
1.
2.
The Diary of a Young Girl
The Boys of Iwo Jima
Take turns reading the selection to “understand” each
character.
3. Choose a role (see next slide for characters).
4. Create a journal entry (forum)for the next 5 days
reflecting on your day.
5. You will write your journal entries in the “voice” your
selected character. Be sure to sign your character’s name
at the end of each entry.
2.
Voice Collage
Characters in “The Diary of a Young Girl”
Anne, Margot, Daddy, Mummy, Mr. Van Daan, Mrs.
Van Daan, Peter Van Daan, Mouschi the cat
Characters in “The Boys of Iwo Jima”
Harlon Block, Rene Gagnon, Sergeant Mike Strank,
Franklin Sousley, Ira Hayes, John Bradley, James
Bradley
Voice – The Final Word
Tips for success in Voice:
Be yourself: Fingerprints on the page; immediately
identifiable
Match voice to purpose: A mystery story, business letter,
and a persuasive essay all have different types of voices, so
make sure they are correctly matched.
Think of your audience: Who are they?
Care: If you are bored, why should your reader care?
Know your topic: Knowledge gives your voice confidence.
Think of every thing as a letter: Almost nothing, except
perhaps poetry – can match the voice of a good letter. So
imagine you’re writing a letter even when you’re not.
Voice
“In order for your writing to be irreplaceable, it must be
unique.”
~ Unknown
“Voice is linked to knowledge and research.”
~ Vicki Spandel
Word Choice Domain
Definition of Word Choice:
Precise and accurate words create pictures in the reader’s
mind.
The writer should use strong nouns and action verbs, and
descriptive adjectives.
Provide the writer with the sensation of seeing, hearing,
smelling, touching, and tasting the scene that you have set.
To Do: Read the Voice/Word Choice domain on the Rubric.
What do you need to do to score a 4 for Word Choice?
Word Choice Domain
“The difference between the right word and the ‘almost’
right word is the difference between lightning and the
lightning bug.”
~ Mark Twain
“Always and never are two words you should always
remember never to use.”
~Wendell Johnson
“Detail makes the difference between boring and terrific
writing. It’s the difference between a pencil sketch and
a lush oil painting. As a writer, words are your paint.
Use ALL the colors.”
~ Rhys Alexander
Word Choice Domain
Don’t generalize!
Words like good, exciting, fun, special, and nice say
nothing.
They are actually worse than nothing because they are
annoyingly non-specific.
They make your reader do all the work!
Word Choice Domain
Choose Powerful Verbs with meaning!
Which verb gives you more meaningful information?
The soldier walked into headquarters after a long night of war.
or
The soldier (choose from the following list) into headquarters after a long night of
war.
Verb choices: accompanied, advanced, ambled, ambulated, booted, cantered, escorted,
exercised, filed, hiked, hoofed it, lumbered, marched, meandered, paced, padded, paraded,
patrolled, perambulated, pitter-pattered, plodded, pranced, promenaded, raced, roamed,
roved, ran, sauntered, scuffed, shambled, shuffled, slogged, stalked, stepped, strode,
strolled, strutted, toddled, toured, traipsed, tramped, traversed, treaded, trekked, trooped,
trudged, wandered
Specific verbs can change the setting and the soldier.
How many different stories can you envision just by changing the verb?
Word Choice Domain
Guess what?
Specific NOUNS can be just as creative!
The soldier walked into headquarters after a long night of war.
How would the setting change if “office” was used instead of
“headquarters”?
An astute reader would question “whose office”? Where is this “office”
located?
Just by using the specific noun “headquarters”, the reader
automatically understands the soldier is on a military base at his
commanding superior’s office.
Word Choice Domain
Thesaurus
A book that identifies words with similar meanings (synonyms)
and words with opposite meanings (antonyms).
Use the thesaurus often.
When choosing the perfect synonym or antonym, double check the
meaning of the new word to ensure its fit with your intent.
Nothing interrupts the flow of an essay more than an
out-of-place word choice.
Word Choice
Surely Not!
It is your job to determine if the author REALLY
wrote the following two stories:
“The Red Badge of Courage”
“Kaffir Boy”
Word Choice – Surely Not!
Read the excerpt from "The Red Badge of
Courage". Look carefully at the verbs in GREEN
text.
2. Your job is to replace all of the GREEN verbs with
more powerful and descriptive verbs. (Hint: On some
occasions, you might find multiple action words fit
the bill for a single weak verb.)
3. Save the file as "Surely Not...Red Badge" and send it
to me in my Drop Box.
4. Once you have sent me your version, read the
author's original version (under Resources).
1.
Word Choice – Surely Not!
Read the excerpt from “Kaffir Boy". Look carefully at
the verbs in GREEN text.
2. Your job is to replace all of the GREEN verbs with
more powerful and descriptive verbs. (Hint: On some
occasions, you might find multiple action words fit
the bill for a single weak verb.)
3. Save the file as "Surely Not...Kaffir Boy" and send it to
me in my Drop Box.
4. Once you have sent me your version, read the
author's original version (under Resources).
1.
Word Choice – The Final Word
Tips for Success with Word Choice
Collect Quotes: Collect the good….and the not-so-good.
Think of another way to say:
“Alice was angry.”
Alice was vexed, provoked, furious, livid,
hysterical, blue in the face, storming, frenzied,
freaked out, beside herself, ranting, huffy, fiery,
pugnacious, cranky, peppery, explosive, or agitated.
Word Choice – The Final Word
Tips for Success with Word Choice
Think Verbs: No adjective on earth can compete with a
strong verb.
So don’t move forward when you can lunge.
Don’t simply walk down the street if you could trudge,
shuffle, galumph, meander, promenade, or
saunter.
Word Choice – The Final Word
Tips for Success with Word Choice
Make a picture (essay) with details (words).
Cut the fat: Words have power ONLY if the carry their own
weight. So let them. Hack off words that are weak,
redundant, or high falutin’.
“Words—so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing
in a dictionary; how potent for good and evil they become
in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.”
~ Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)
Sentence Fluency Domain
Definition of Sentence Fluency:
The ability to create smooth flow and rhythm of the
sentence structure.
The fluency of short versus long sentences should carry
the reader along seamlessly.
The essay is easy to read aloud.
To Do: Read the Sentence Fluency/Conventions
domain on the Rubric. What do you need to do to
score a 4 for Sentence Fluency?
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
By definition, a complete sentence expresses a complete
thought AND contains both a Subject (the person, place, or
thing in the sentence) and a Predicate (what the subject
does: the action verb).
Several ideas, not just one, may make up this complete
thought.
The trick is getting those ideas to work together in a clear,
interesting sentence that expresses your exact meaning
while maintaining a smooth flow.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
To Do: In the Sentence Fluency section of your Six Traits
Notes and Assignments Worksheet, complete the
following activities for the twelve hot tips in achieving
compelling and readable sentences, and sentence
fluency.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Combine a series of little, choppy sentences into ONE smooth sentence.
To Do: Write the smooth sentence in at least TWO DIFFERENT ways.
Activity #1
The bombers appeared.
The bombers were German.
They appeared over London.
They appeared late on September 7, 1940.
It was called The London Blitz
The bombing lasted 57 nights.
More than 15,000 people were killed.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Use connecting words (but also, nevertheless, however, in
addition, etc.) to show how ideas relate in your new
sentences.
To Do: Write at least TWO connected sentences.
Activity #2
Hitler’s program and policies included killing all people he judged
to be racially “inferior”.
Hitler’s plan included Jews, Gypsies, Slavs, and the mentally ill.
Hitler spoke of his desire to have the perfect race.
Many Germans were mesmerized and blinded by Hitler.
Hitler’s programs led to the death of around twelve million people.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Add details to complete the picture.
To Do: Add more details to the following short and
boring sentences to make them more vivid and
interesting.
Activity #3
They were horrified by the concentration camps.
Kamikaze pilots attacked US ships.
The A-bomb ended the war.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Watch out for run-ons (multiple sentences jammed
together).
Avoid comma splices (two complete independent clauses
or sentences that could stand alone but are connected
incorrectly with a comma).
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
To Do: Correct the following sentences by either splitting the
sentences and adding a period, using a semi-colon, or using
a comma and a conjunction (several FANBOYS would
work). AVOID comma splices, rambling sentences, and
run-on sentences.
Activity #4
The war continued on many were growing tired of the endless
carnage.
The defenses at Pearl Harbor never expected the attack, many were
still asleep, they were still resting on an early Sunday morning.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Avoid rambling sentences that go on and on with no end in sight. Simply
adding an “and” is NOT the solution.
To Do: Correct the following sentences by either splitting the sentences
and adding a period, using a semi-colon, or using a comma and a
conjunction (several FANBOYS would work). AVOID comma splices,
rambling sentences, and run-on sentences.
Activity #5
The Japanese entered the Pearl Harbor and attacked the airfields and bombed
battleship row and sunk many destroyers and killed many people.
Hitler started his conquest of Europe by annexing Austria and he continued to
take more land by annexing Czechoslovakia and finally Hitler conquered
Poland but all of this was ignored by the rest of Europe and the United States.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Make all pronoun (he, she, it I, you, his, her, their, your, etc.)
references clear.
To Do: Rewrite the following sentences so that the meaning
is clear.
Activity #6
During the blitzkrieg, tanks rolled through many towns scaring the
people. They made terrible noise as they went through the town
destroying their homes.
The Russians lost two and a half million soldiers trying to fend off
German tanks. They destroyed and burned factories, farms, and
crops to keep them out of their hands.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Get rid of dead wood. Eliminate the unnecessary words.
To Do: Rewrite these sentences by eliminating the dead
wood, which creates a more concise statement.
Activity #7a
The Russians, meanwhile, that were living in Leningrad during the
siege of that city, which lasted more than two years, suffered
appalling hardships for a long period of time.
Activity #7b
The next day after Pearl Harbor, a grim-faced President Franklin D.
Roosevelt, FDR, addressed by radio a sad nation, telling them that
December 7th was “a date which will live in infamy”.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Avoid jargon, which is language used in a certain profession
or group of people and is not easily understood outside
that group. It is very technical and not a very natural way
of speaking to a general audience.
To Do: Rewrite this sentence by eliminating the jargon.
Activity #8
Many Europeans were utterly dismayed, not conceptually grasping
the United State’s perpetual reliance on the old maxim of
isolaionism.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Avoid shifts in number and verb tense (past, present,
and future).
To Do: Rewrite this sentence at least TWO different
ways, making the appropriate corrections. (Note: there
are two separate errors).
Activity #9
A soldier needs to be extremely careful when they crossed the
“dead zone” between two defensive lines.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Avoid shifts in voice. Do not switch the voice of a sentence. Be
aware of first, second, and third person, as well as active and
passive voice.
To Do: Rewrite the following sentences with the appropriate
corrections.
Activity #10a
Bombs were dropping on Pearl Harbor and many ships were being destroyed
by them. (One verb is in active voice but the other verb is passive. Revise to
make both active.)
Activity #10b
I saw some planes coming in from the harbor, and suddenly you realize that
they were not friendly planes, but Japanese zeros. (Fix the shift in voice.)
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Keep sentence elements (clauses and phrases) parallel; that is,
matching in form (all verbs in the same form).
To Do: Rewrite the following sentences with the appropriate
corrections.
Activity #11
Women built ships and planes, produced munitions and weapons, and were
frequently staffing offices.
British and American women served in the armed forces in many auxiliary
roles driving trucks and ambulances, delivered airplanes, decoding
messages, and assisted at anti-aircraft sites.
In America, many were willing to sacrifice, giving their lives, gave up many
luxuries for the war effort, and working hard to support the war effort.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Hot Tips for Compelling Sentences
Avoid “There is” or “There are” as sentence beginnings. Be
direct.
To Do: Rewrite the following sentences so they are more
direct.
Activity #12
1: There are many things that the Nazis did to humiliate the Jewish
prisoners arriving in the concentration camps.
2: There was a lot of disbelief among the soldiers who discovered the
horrors of the concentration camps.
3: There were, in some cases, friends, neighbors, and even strangers
who protected Jews from the Nazi’s ‘final solution’.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Congratulations!
You finished the
12 Hot Tips!!
Now, you too can write some
SMOKIN’ sentences!!!!
Sentence Fluency Domain
Sentence fluency is the ability to create a smooth flow and rhythm
of the sentence structure. The fluency of short versus long
sentences should carry the reader along seamlessly. Sentences
should be easy to read aloud and sound smooth, not choppy.
If you have ever read something that is full of short, choppy
sentences, you probably had a headache when you were finished
reading. Choppy sentences make for choppy reading. Read
“Sparky, the Dog” (next slide) aloud to see how choppy and stiff
it sounds. Then, see if you can re-write the paragraph,
combining some of the sentences to make it flow more smoothly.
This will create the desired variety of short and long sentences.
When you are finished, re-read your revision to hear how much
the writing has improved.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Mastery Activity
Example
My dog Sparky is going to get into trouble.
Sparky is going to get into trouble because he won’t leave the
neighbor’s cat alone.
Revision
Because he can’t leave the neighbor’s cat alone, my dog Sparky is
going to get into trouble.
Sentence Fluency Domain
Mastery Activity:
Now see what you can do with a paragraph about Sparky
and Tiger. Combine sentences and/or rewrite sentences so the flow is
smoother.
Sparky
My dog Sparky is going to get into trouble. He is going to get into trouble because
he can’t leave the neighbor’s cat alone. The neighbor’s cat is named Tiger. Tiger
has a fierce temper. Everyone knows about Tiger’s bad temper except Sparky.
Sparky does lots of things to annoy Tiger. He nibbles at his food. He chases
him. He chews on Tiger’s toys. Tiger is annoyed by all these things. When Tiger
gets mad, he swats you in the face with his claws.
One of these days, he is going to swat Sparky on the face. If Sparky get swatted by
Tiger’s sharp claws, maybe he will learn to leave Tiger alone.
Transition Words & Phrases
Check for the Flow of Ideas
Let’s say a classmate cannot follow your essay about
working in a factory during the Industrial Age because
you haven’t connected your thoughts well enough.
In the revision, add words and phrases to make it easier
for your reader to follow the sense and flow of your
ideas.
Use connecting words (but, also, nevertheless, however,
in addition, --see Transition List in Moodle under
Resources) to show how ideas connect.
Transition Words & Phrases
Smooth Fluency in an Essay
Remember, in order to create a smooth transition from
one paragraph to another, a writer should use
transition statements to create a bridge from one idea
and paragraph to the next.
Transitions are used to move from one paragraph to
another in an essay. Like a paragraph conclusion, the
transition statement wraps up or summarizes the
paragraph, then gives a hint of what is coming up in
the next paragraph. This creates a bridge from one
topic to another.
Transition Words & Phrases
Activity #1
In your Six Traits of Writing Notes and Assignments
Worksheet, write a transition statement that connects
the following two paragraphs and creates a smooth
transition from one paragraph and idea to the next.
(See paragraphs on the next slide and on your
worksheet.)
Transition Words & Phrases
After freeing France, Allied forces battled Germany. As their armies
advanced into Belgium in December 1944, Germany launched a
massive counterattack. At the bloody Battle of the Bulge, which lasted
more than a month, both sides took terrible losses. The Germans were
unable to break through. The battle delayed the Allied advance, but it
was Hitler’s last success. His support within Germany was declining
and he had already survived one assassination attempt by senior
officers in the German military.
CREATE a Smooth Transition Statement Here to Connect These
Paragraphs.
For two years, Allied bombers had hammered military bases, factories,
railroads, oil depots, and cities. In one 10-day period, bombing almost
erased the huge industrial city of Hamburg. Allied raids on Dresden in
February 1945 killed as many as 135,00 people.
Read Aloud for Fluency
Writing needs to be heard,
not just read.
Read your own writing out loud.
Read Aloud for Fluency
“Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.”
~ Author unknown
“Read, read, read. Read everything – trash, classics,
good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a
carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the
master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write.”
~ William Faulkner
“The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading,
in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to
make one book.”
~ Samuel Johnson
Sentence Fluency
The Final Word: 6 Tips for Success in Sentence
Fluency
1. Read Aloud: Read everything you write aloud. If
some things are hard to get, now is the time to fix it.
2. Combine: Doing a creative piece? Narrative or
personal essay? For smooth rhythm and flow,
combine sentences and stretch other s out a bit.
3. Keep it Crisp: On the other hand, if you are writing
a business letter or technical piece, keep it short.
4. Check out the first four words: Do not use the
same opener over and over. I enjoy…I like….I…..I……..
Sentence Fluency
5. Don’t get breathless: Separate one sentence from
another. Stop one thought before you start another.
6. Read other people’s writing aloud: Find the most
fluent writing you can. Read it aloud and really
listen to the rhythm.
Conventions Domain
Definition of Conventions:
Punctuation, grammar, spelling, capitalization,
paragraph structure.
These elements should be used to make the writing
content easy to read.
To Do: Read the Sentence Fluency/Conventions
domain on the Rubric. What do you need to do to
score a 4 for Conventions?
Conventions Domain
How did conventions come to be?
In the Resource section of Moodle, read “Conventions:
onceuponatime”, a story of the evolution of
capitalization and punctuation.
Conventions are simply rules on punctuation,
capitalization, and grammar.
Someone just decided what the rules would be….just like
Driving rules.
Conventions Domain
Driving Rules in America:
 Drive on the right side of the road.
 Steering wheel is on the left side of the car.
 In manual transmission cars, shift with the right hand.
Driving Rules in England:
 Drive on the left side of the road.
 Steering wheel is on the right side of the car.
 In manual transmission cars, shift with the left hand.
Food for Thought: Is that song My Country ‘tis of Thee? OR
God Save the Queen??
Conventions Domain
The English and Americans both made some rules;
conventions for driving and agreed to follow them to
avoid confusion.
In England, the conventions for driving are different.
Why?
Can you imagine the confusion if you didn’t follow the
rules of driving?
It is the same with writing conventions!!
Conventions Domain
Even math has conventions and someone called them:
The Order of Operations
Please
Parentheses
Excuse
Exponents
My
Multiplications
Dear
Division
Aunt
Addition
Sally
Subtraction
Always move right to left
Conventions Domain
If you don’t follow the order The Order of Operations,
6 + (11 – 7)2 – 1 = ???
you may get the wrong answer:
6 + 11 – 4-1 = -33 wrong
6 + 11 – 7 = 10 10 x 10 = 100 – 1 = 99 wrong
or 6 + 26 – 1 = 21 correct
Someone invented some rules for math that we follow to
eliminate confusion.
It is the same with writing conventions!
Conventions Domain
Why are conventions such a bid deal?
Because businesses need people who can write. Read the article
(under Moodle Resources) “What Corporate America Can’t
Build”.
To Do:
In your Six Traits of Writing Notes and Assignments Worksheet:
1.
2.
3.
Summarize what you learned from the article.
Read the emails in the article and score them for Conventions (14) using the Persuasive Rubric (in Moodle). Describe why you
assessed that score.
How did the quality of writing affect they way you felt about the
company who sent the emails?
Conventions – Commas
When should I use a comma?
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/commas.html
http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergram
mar/comma.html
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp
Convention Links
How should I use end punctuation?
http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergram
mar/endpunct.html
Question Marks:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/qMarks.asp
Periods:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/periods.asp
Exclamation Points:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/exclaim.asp
Convention Links
How do I use quotation marks?
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/quotation
s.html
http://www.uottawa.ca.academic/arts/writcent/hypergr
ammar/qmarks.html
When do I use parenthesis?
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/parens.asp
When do I capitalize a letter or word?
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp
Conventions
The Final Word
You probably think you have pressure to write with
correct conventions for school. Just imagine being
Thomas Jefferson, the principle author of the
Declaration of Independence. Now THAT is pressure!
“Take care that you never spell a word wrong. Always
before you write a word, consider how it is spelled,
and, if you do not remember, turn to a dictionary.”
~ Thomas Jefferson to his daughter, Martha
Conventions
Read the linked excerpt (in Moodle): Conventions, “Rise to
Rebellion”, from Jeff Shaara’s retelling of the drafting of the
Declaration of Independence.
To Do: Answer the following question in your Six Traits of
Writing Notes and Assignments Worksheet:
“What does this story teach us about conventions and
editing our writing?”
“Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as
those over IBM versus Max, and as fruitless as Coke versus
Pepsi, and boxers versus briefs.”
~ Jack Lynch
The Last Word
Finish all of the sections on your saved Six Traits of
Writing Notes and Assignments Worksheet. (Soon
this will be available via Moodle.)
Once it is complete,
use the Moodle Drop Box to send it to me.
Congratulations on a job well done!!