Transcript Emotional Intelligence

Copyright [Nina Jekova] [2009].
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Emotional Intelligence
“Become the change that you
want to see in the world.”
Mohandas Gandhi
We Are About to Explore…
• What emotional intelligence (EI) is
• Why it matters
• The nature of the four, core EI skills
• The connection between EI & success
What is Intelligence?
• capacities to reason, to plan, to solve
problems, to think abstractly, to
comprehend ideas, to use language, and
to learn
• IQ accounts for 20 – 25 % of career
success
• IQ is fixed at birth
Emotional Intelligence - Better
Predictor of Career Success
• The capacity for recognizing our own feelings
and those of others, for motivating ourselves,
and for managing emotions well in ourselves
and in our relationships
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Not in opposition to traditional intelligence
Emotions are part of rational decision making
EI is not fixed at birth
EI is flexible
Basic Emotions
• Joy
• Surprise
• Sadness
• Anger
• Disgust
• Fear
What is EI physically?
• EI starts at the spinal cord
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•
(primary senses)
EI travels through the limbic
system
EI ends in the rational center of
the brain
• EI requires effective
communication between the
rational and emotional centers of
the brain
Amygdala is
deep within the most elemental parts
of the brain.
The main purpose of the innermost
part of the brain is survival.
• Try to keep this road well traveled
• A blend of reason and feeling
brings the greatest results
The four EI skills
• Personal Competence:
- Self-Awareness
- Self-Management
(it is about you)
• Social Competence:
- Social Awareness
- Relationship Management
(it is about you and other people)
Self-Awareness is the ability:
• to recognize appropriate body cues and
•
•
emotions
to label cues and emotions accurately
to stay open to unpleasant as well as pleasant
emotions
• Includes the capacity for experiencing and
recognizing multiple and conflicting emotions
Self-Management is the ability:
• to use your self-awareness to stay flexible and
•
act positively
to manage your emotional reactions to situations
and people
• We can consciously limit the duration of
•
unpleasant emotions and stay positive
Optimism and hope can be learned
Social Awareness is the ability:
• to understand other people’s emotions
• to perceive what other people are thinking
and feeling
• to consider the perspective of the other
party
Relationship Management is the
ability:
• to use your awareness of both your own
•
•
emotions and those of others to manage
interactions successfully
to communicate clearly
to solve conflicts effectively
Solid relationships are the result of how you
understand people, how you treat them, and the
history you share
Some Gender Differences
• More willing to
compromise social
connectedness for
independence
• Not as good as women
at this
• Less adept than women
overall
• More physiologically
overwhelmed by marital
conflict
• Greater need for
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connectedness
Have a wider range of
emotions
Better at reading
emotions
Better at developing
social strategies overall
Perhaps more engaged
in marital conflict
The Importance of
Emotional Development
• We have an emotional epidemic
• Only 36 % of people are able to accurately
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•
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identify their emotions as they happen
Women score higher than men
Emotional awareness is not taught in school
We lack the skills to manage our emotions
- “My way or the highway”
Emotional distress affects your health, your
relationships and your career
We Need to Learn:
• Optimism
• Hope
• Understanding
• Empathy
• Being positive
• Being real, not playing “nice”
EI Assessment
• BarOn EQ-i assessment
• Provides an objective evaluation of your
behavior
• Expends your knowledge of your ability to
understand emotions and your tendencies
• Increases your self-awareness and opens
the door for change
Increasing Your Emotional
Intelligence
• Your brain is plastic
• Train your brain
• We are what we repeatedly do
• Practice makes perfect
Strategies for Promoting
Emotional Intelligence:
• Recognizing and naming emotions
• Understanding the causes of feelings
• Differentiating between emotion and the need to
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take action
Preventing depression through “learned
optimism”
Managing anger through distraction techniques
Developing listening skills
Using “gut feelings” in decision making
• “Practice what you preach”