Transcript Stress - Johnston Heights

PERSONALITY
Review
With your group discuss what you know about the following terms:
Character, Personality, Individuality, Disposition & Temperament
•
Character – applies to the moral qualities that determine the way a person thinks,
feels, and acts in important matters, especially in relation to the principles of right
and wrong
•
Personality – applies to the personal qualities that make one person different from
another and determine the way s/he acts in social and personal relations
•
Individuality – applies to the sum of the particular qualities that make a person
unique or different from others
•
Disposition – applies to the controlling mental or emotional quality that determines
a person’s natural or usual way of thinking or acting
•
Temperament – applies to the combined physical, emotional and mental qualities
that determine a person’s whole nature
Gage Canadian Dictionary
HAPPINESS AND OPTIMISM
Recall – Happiness and Optimism
50% of the reason a person may be more inclined to be
happy (or not) is attributed to genetics
40% of happiness is determined by intentional activity
10% other factors
Consider – The Lottery Winner vs. The Accident Victim
1978 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY TRAITS
Personality traits can be described by a range of a variety
of thoughts, actions, feelings, sensations, perceptions
and even intuition. Think of this range or continuum like a
rating scale from 1 to 10. The judgment of whether the
traits are negative or positive may be a matter of
opinion.
EXPLORING SOME PERSONALITY TRAITS
Activity 1 vote with your feet
Follow Ms. Tifenbach’s instructions
1
1. Timid
5
Cautious
Bold / Adventurous
2. Spontaneous
3. Carefree
4. Solitary
10
Thrill Seeking
Follows a strict routine
Prepared & Plans ahead some / most times
Likes to spend some time alone
5. Oppositional / Contrarian
Organised
Sociable / Outgoing
Easy going / Agreeable
6. Analytical / Detached
Friendly & Compassionate
7. Sensitive
Stoic
UNDERSTANDING HOW PERSONALITY
IS LINKED TO COMMUNICATION & LEARNING
Activity 2 vote with your hands - Follow Ms. Tifenbach’s instructions
CEO / General
Mastery Learner
Specific Details
Efficient & Organised
Inclusive
Consensual
Sensitive to people’s feelings
Results- Oriented
Precise
Diplomatic
Adaptive
Sociable; Friendly; Helpful
Direct
Urgent
Practical; Matter of fact
Responsive
Focused
Dependent
Energetic
Authoritative
Motivated by competition; grades; rewards
Prefer ?’s w/ right and wrong answers
Social Worker / Best Friend
Prefer to learn about things that directly affect people’s lives
Participatory
Need to feel relaxed, comfortable & enjoy themselves
Optimistic
Prefer cooperation / Like to work with others, share ideas
Likes to know exactly what is expected
Accountant / Scientist
Organised
Analytical
Controlled
Consistent
Predictable
Orderly
Autonomous
Historical orientation
Need assurance and praise
Understanding Learner Artist / Philosopher
Logical; Plans ahead
Provocative Questions; Curious
Patient, Persistent; Strive for perfection
Prefer to work independently or w/ same thinking type
Concern for long range consequences
Interpersonal Learner
Self-Expressive Learner
Future oriented
Dare to dream; Use imagination
Probing
Creative
Prefer open ended ?’s
Supportive
Understanding
Conceptual
Generate Ideas
Innovative
Expansive
Independent; Non-conformist
Insightful, Intuitive
Searching for new ways to express themselves
Sensitive to beauty and symmetry
Talktechniques,inc. 2001
UNDERSTANDING THAT WE ALL ARE UNIQUE
We all have a unique story: the cultural background and
history of experiences in our lives. This, in combination
with various traits and characteristics contribute to our
personalities.
Understanding that we are all different in some way may
help you appreciate that people look at similar
circumstances and events, potentially, very differently
from you. Of course, there are circumstances where
people from across cultures and a range of life
experiences hold similar viewpoints on very important
issues. This view of things is called one’s perspective.
Refer to the handout
UNDERSTANDING PERCEPTION
Perceive - to be aware through a variety of senses.
There are other ways to describe how someone assimilates
information about their environment and in order to do
so we must consider all of the senses (hear, smell, touch, taste,)
not just sight.
This is called perception and can be the source of
misunderstanding, miscommunication, or
misinterpretation of a message.
Refer to the handout
UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS OF ANOTHER
There are a number of theories related to that which is necessary for
humans to live healthy, happy lives. These theories stem from the fields of
psychology, sociology, biology, political economy, medicine and
philosophy.
Recall: What are the different types of health?
Intellectual, Mental / Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Social, Spiritual
Think: With your group discuss what you think humans need to survive and
to thrive.
These needs range from basic physical needs like food, water, shelter, safe
living and working conditions, and health care to emotional & social needs
like giving / receiving love, belonging and respect to spiritual & intellectual
needs like education, creativity, freedom, realizing one’s own potential,
being peaceful and having fun.
Maslow, Glasser, Doyal & Gough
UNMET BASIC NEEDS
AS A SOURCE OF CONFLICT
One of the theories about the needs of human beings
stipulates that humans feel pain when a need is
frustrated (unmet) and pleasure when it is satisfied (met).
The emotions associated with these frustrations are
linked to disputes between people and may be
considered a source of the conflict.
Dr. William Glasser
UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT
People live, work and play together so it is important for them
to get along. To do so, people must understand a few things
about conflict.
With your group discuss what you understand about conflict.
With your group discuss what comes to mind when you hear
the word conflict.
• Conflict is a natural part of every day life.
• Conflict can be handled in positive OR negative ways.
• Conflict can have either creative or destructive results.
• Conflict can be a positive force for personal growth and
social change
RESPONSES TO CONFLICT
People can chose one of three ways of responding to conflict:
Avoidance, Confrontation, Communication
Think: With your group discuss each of these responses and describe the behaviours
you might see in people responding that way.
•
Avoidance – people avoid conflict by withdrawing from the situation, ignoring the
problem, or denying their feelings. Because the conflict is never addressed, it can
never be resolved.
•
Confrontation – people may express anger, verbal or physical threats, or
additional aggressive acts in disputes with others. These acts may include bribery,
withholding money or affection, lack of follow through, shunning / excluding etc.
and demonstrate a win/lose attitude toward conflict. This prevents cooperation
and keeps people from reaching a mutually satisfying solution.
•
Communication – In order for people to cooperate, they must first communicate.
Communication in response to conflict means that people are willing to
participate in a common understanding, not necessarily to agree.
The Conflict Workbook
7 Habits of highly affective people Stephen R. Covey 1989
RULES OF FOR “FIGHTING” FAIR
Think: Now that we understand that conflict is a natural part of living
and being together and that it can be handled in positive ways, what
behaviours do you think would be important in a list of rules for
“fighting” fair?
No blaming, “getting even,” hitting, making excuses, name calling,
bossing, not listening, teasing, put-downs, threats, holding grudges
1. We find out the problem.
2. We attack the problem, not the person.
3. We listen to each other.
4. We care about each other’s feelings.
5. We are responsible for what we say and do.
The Grace Contrino Abrams Peace Education Foundation Inc, Miami Florida 1991
COMMUNICATION SKILLS –
A MEANS TO BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS
As indicated previously, one goal of good communication is to
participate in the establishment of a common understanding. This
is a very important factor in building and maintaining relationships.
Good communicators have the ability to successfully transfer their
thoughts and ideas to people around them.
Think: What communication skills are important between friends (a
communicator and a receiver) so that the message is
successfully conveyed?
You must be able to talk about your feelings and tell a friend when
she has made you upset or what you appreciate about her.
You also must be able to listen to your friend and pay attention to his
body language: make eye contact, consider facial expressions
and the emotions associated with these looks, notice his posture
and the position of his arms & legs.
BEING A GOOD FRIEND
In order to be a good friend and contribute
evenly to a relationship you have to know
yourself; be able to celebrate your strengths and
willing to acknowledge your weaknesses. No
friendship is perfect, and most friends have
difficulties at times. But if friends are committed
to each other and have the skills and desire to
work through a disagreement, the friendship can
grow.
EVOLVING FRIENDSHIPS
Friendships can be short-term relationships or long-term relationships that
change over time.
Think: With your group discuss:
•
•
How short term relationships may still be healthy relationships
Even short term relationships can help us develop a variety of skills and learn
a bit more about how to be a friend. You may begin as acquaintances and
stay at that level or as you spend more time together become much closer
friends.
The levels or stages a friendship that you may encounter
Intimate Relationships
Close Friends
Casual Friends
Acquaintances
Someone I have met
FRIENDSHIPS
Sometimes there is no conflict as the source of the shift in a friendship, but
there still may be sadness or hurt feelings as a result of the change.
Think: What may contribute to the break down of a friendship?
The breakdown of friendships can be categorized into one of four themes:
• Distance – some sort of “move” takes place.
• Dissimilarity – maturation rates play an important role in secondary school as
some children shift their interests from “play” based activities to “hanging
out ” and socializing in larger groups with the opposite sex.
• Displacement – emotionally charged because of rejection and
replacement
• Distrust – breaking some sort of confidence
BEING FRIENDLY
While it may seem obvious to some, in order to make friends, one must be
friendly!! However, this may be difficult for tentative, shy, introverted, timid
and self-conscious individuals.
Think: What suggestions do you have for someone who has difficulty
making friends?
These people may have to step out of their comfort zone and take the risk
of reaching out or approaching an individual or group to ask to be
included in or involved in an activity / join a club, to be secure enough to
make eye contact with others and open or contribute to a conversation
and to laugh or smile when something is amusing.
What might you do if you notice that someone is often alone?
Being empathetic is really helpful – to think about how you would feel if
you were alone and what you would want from the others around you.
You can invite this person to be a part of your group in class or at lunch.
FRIENDSHIPS
Review: With your group discuss 1. What friendship is and is not.
A friend is someone you like to spend time with; can have fun with; shares some similar
interest(s); that you care about and who cares about you; is fair and honest; can count
on and who can count on you, respects you and your boundaries. In a real friendship
each friend will make a contribution, although these contributions will be different.
A friend is not someone you just met and don’t really know; has no time for you or your
interests
2. What are the behaviours that foster a good friendship?
Giving compliments, Doing favours, Standing up for a friend, Inviting others to get
involved, Including others, Sharing / Taking turns, Being a good listener, Offering
support, Being dependable, Being honest, Being thoughtful, caring and kind,
Apologising if a mistake is made, Being humble
3. What are the behaviours that create hard feelings and conflict between friends?
Lying, Breaking confidence or agreements, Gossiping; Name calling / put downs /
teasing; Being fickle or “two faced;” Acts of physical violence, Cheating, Being overly
demanding or pushy; Ignoring someone or taking them for granted; Bragging, Jealousy