How to Talk to Parents about the Hard Stuff
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Transcript How to Talk to Parents about the Hard Stuff
Rochelle Ritzi, MS, LPC
Megan Krizan, M.Ed, LPC Intern,
Doctoral Counseling Student, under the supervision of
UNT
Brandy Schumann, PhD, LPCS,
NCC, RPTS
[email protected]
[email protected]
www.tots.pro
www.tots.pro
Difficult topics with staff and parents
A practical look at personality
The staff/parent (personality) you dread
How different personalities can compliment or clash
How to deliver difficult information so it can be
received
Behavioral problems
Usually a combination
Academic struggles
Complaints
Concerns
What is your uncensored reaction to
feedback?
How would you like
difficult information
to be delivered to you?
Rejection and hassles
Criticism and ridicule
Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant
Stress and pain
Lott, L (n.d.); Nelson, Lott & Glenn (2000);
Positive Discipline (2011)
If you dislike most:
Rejection and hassles
Chameleon
Criticism and ridicule
Lion
Meaningless and unimportance
Eagle
Stress and Pain
Turtle
If you dislike most:
Rejection & hassles
You probably...
Say yes and mean no
Fear confrontation
Give in easily
Worry of being disliked
Try to fix everything to
make others happy
Whine & complain
Work hard
Super reasonable
Are known to
accommodate and be
super reasonable
Make lists
Pleaser
If you dislike most
Criticism and ridicule
You probably…
Hold back your emotions
Boss others
Are organized
Argue
Get quiet and wait for
Control
others to coax you
Do things yourself
Cover all bases before you
act
Complain, sigh,
procrastinate
Get angry, explain/defend
Engage in physical activity
Put up a wall
If you dislike most:
Doing things that are
meaningless and
unimportant
You probably...
Overdo it, take on too much
Worry about doing better
Become the expert
Seek advocates
Fight to prove your point
Can be stubborn
Put down people or things,
including self
Cry, scream, or complain to
others (about the absurdity
of life/others)
Correct others
Operate on “shoulds”
Superiority
If you dislike most:
Stress and pain
You probably…
Make jokes, use humor often
Intellectualize
Do only things you already
Comfort
do well
Avoid new experiences
Take the path of least
resistance
Leave sentences incomplete
Avoid risks
Hide so others don’t see
imperfections
Overreact
Complain, cry, scream
Micromanage and spoil
others
Don’t ask for help
Tuck into your shell, attack
like a snapping turtle
Close up your heart
As a group, decide:
1.
What concern/behavior/academic problem would be
most difficult to deliver? Why?
2.
Which staff/parent/animal do you like working with
LEAST? Why?
To receive difficult information:
Chameleons (pleaser) need:
Feel cared for
Approval
Lions (control) need:
Choices (help determine solution)
To lead
Asked how they feel
Given time/space to process information
Eagles (superiority) need:
To be recognized
To be thanked
Told they are right
Help getting started (with a small step)
Turtle (comfort) need:
To not be interrupted
For you to invite their comments
Listened to
Know that you believe in them/their child
Encouraged
Eagle and an Eagle
Chameleon and a Turtle
Lion and Turtle
Others?
1. Child not ready for Kindergarten
2. Complaint against staff member
(impatient with child)
Understand yourself
Send a message of care
Figure out what is needed by imagining same animal
in your life
Use “similar” instead of “I think he has”
Learn about your student’s parent(s)/guardian(s)
Make notes after “meet the teacher”
What “animal” are they?
What do they need from you when hearing difficult
information?
[email protected]
[email protected]
Therapy on the Square
114 E. Louisiana, Ste. 201
McKinney, TX 75069
www.tots.pro
972-886-8375 office
How to Help a Child Grieve
I Thought I Knew My Child… Keys to Understanding Your
Child’s Behavior
Discipline Can Be Positive! Learn How to Avoid Pitfalls in
Punishment
How to Accept a Child When You Don’t Accept His/Her Behavior
How to Have Family (or Class) Meetings
Positive Discipline
Play – Understanding the Language of Children
Connecting and Redirecting: Understanding Misbehavior in
Your Classroom and What to Do About It.
Lott, L. (n.d.). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from
http://www.lynnlott.com/tryit/websiteTopCard2.htm
Nelson, J., Lott, L., & Glenn, S. (2000). Positive discipline in the classroom.
(3rd ed.). New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
Positive Discipline. (2011). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from
http://positivediscipline.com
Questions?