Transcript Languages of Love

LANGUAGES
OF LOVE
languages of love
This talk is about how to help your partner to
meet their needs for love and acceptance, for
self worth and to belong.
languages of love
Don’t assume that the way you show love to your partner
is the way they feel most loved.
You may think, for example, that they appreciate gifts.
But they may feel most loved if you spend time with
them, or carry out some task they ask you to do.
Please keep this in mind in the rest of this presentation.
languages of love
This is a useful acronym...
languages
of
love
*
Value each other
Affirm and praise each other
Share every aspect of your life together
Touch to demonstrate your affection
Accept that whatever your
failings, you have many
good qualities that
need to be
recognized
and developed.
languages of love
= Valuing
VALUE yourself and show
you value your partner.
Acceptance of self is
essential for building
relationship. I cannot love
you if I do not love myself!
languages of love
What I think or feel
about myself affects all
my other relationships
Spend some
time looking at
your good
qualities
languages of love
It’s easy to share what is going on inside
you when you have good feelings.
When you feel
bruised or
foolish it is
not so easy.
But NOT to do so leads to
loneliness and feelings of
being taken for granted.
languages of love
It shows a lack of trust in the goodness of your
partner. It shows you judge your partner cannot
understand or accept you when you are down.
This can lead to taking
each other for granted
…unless each of you is
AWARE of this danger
and takes positive steps
to avoid it
languages of love
These are the times when you most need the love
and support of your partner so that you can feel
accepted and VALUED
Tell your partner how much they mean to you, to
your life, to your happiness: how much you VALUE
all they do to show their love and concern for you,
how much poorer you would find life without them
languages of love
As time goes by, you become accustomed to
each other’s ways. You also become more
aware of minor irritations…
languages of love
shoes…
always late for
appointments…
laundry…
too long at the
shops…
hours on the
phone…
The danger is you start concentrating
on these minor irritations and negative
feelings begin to dominate your attitude
to your partner
Then you cease to value the
other person and the affection
they give you
languages of love
So…TELL you partner
often how much you
love and VALUE them…
…and make
REAL efforts to
demonstrate this.
languages of love
= Affirmation (and praise)
Most people are very aware
of their faults, and as a result
suffer in various ways from a
lack of self-esteem.
languages of love
languages of love
But your partner chose to
marry you because they
saw a lot of good qualities
and attributes in you.
languages of love
It’s important to help your partner recognise his or
her good qualities. You can do this in two ways:
by AFFIRMATION and by PRAISE
AFFIRMATION means reminding
your partner of their GOOD
QUALITIES e.g generosity,
reliability, courage, patience.
PRAISE is more concerned with
TALENTS AND ACHIEVEMENTS
e.g. cooking, sport, diy…
languages of love
In company, praise your partner,
and let other people know how
much you VALUE them
languages of love
= Sharing
It’s important to bridge the
separateness that can so
easily happen because of
our busy lives.
We need to make
time for each other
in small ways to
show our desire to
be together.
languages of love
Make a date in your diary, time for
a romantic evening, a theatre trip, a quiet
drink or a walk. Have fun together.
This builds and cements your relationship.
Above all make
time EACH DAY
to share those
thoughts,
feelings, and
experiences
that are of most
concern to you at that
time, as well as sharing
your deepest cares and
best moments.
languages of love
= Touching
We are not talking here
about sex – which we
will talk about later, but
about the normal
physical contact that
shows you value each
other and are special to
each other.
languages of love
Hugs, kisses, any sign
of love demonstrated by
physical touching.
Some people are not ‘touchy’
people and some find it difficult
to hug or kiss, or to be
hugged or kissed.
Practice makes perfect.
languages of love
Touch is very important
to most women
Oh no:
NOT
AGAIN!
...though sometimes they may
be wondering what might be
coming next!!!
languages of love
When watching the
TV or a film –
SIT CLOSE!
At Mass, kiss at the sign of peace.
At a social function
STAY TOGETHER!
languages of love
RECOGNISE YOUR GOODNESS
Remember: God doesn’t make rubbish
Sadly we often rubbish
ourselves and rubbish
others. You are Good
and Loveable because
God made you and…
God doesn’t
make rubbish
languages of love
St. Paul gives some tips on
what helps and what hinders
growth in relationship. This is
a favourite reading with
couples for their wedding
service.
(1 Cor. 13 v 4-7)
languages of love
‘Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; it is never
boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take
offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s
sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to
hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.’
Relationships need to grow, otherwise they wither and
die. If we are to develop an intimate relationship it is
important to know each other’s desires. If we are to love
each other it is important to know each other’s wants.
languages of love
MARRIED
COUPLE’S
SHARING
LANGUAGES
OF LOVE
QUESTIONNAIRE