Counselling Techniques Module 4

Pilot Training Trainer: Mag. Heidrun Schulz & DSA, MSM Christoph Schreiner (adapted by Dr.

in Camilla Bensch)

Basic Axioms of communication by Paul Watzlawick

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You cannot not communicate.

Every communication has a content and a relationship aspect such that the latter classifies the former and is therefore a metacommunication. The nature of a relationship is dependent on the punctuation of the partners communication procedures. Human communication involves both digital and analog modalities.

Inter-human communication procedures are either symmetric or complementary.

Schulz von Thun: Iceberg Model

    Objective meaning Revelation of oneself Relationship Appeal

Schulz von Thun: Anatomy of a Message

Sender

Fact Objective meaning Revelation of oneself

message

appeal relationship

Listener

Hearing with 4 Ears

Matter ear:

Is the information true and relevant?

Relationship ear:

How does he/she talk to me? What does she/he think of me?

Selfrevelation ear:

Which information is hidden about the sender?

Appeal ear:

What should I think, make or feel now?

„You, the traffic lights are green!“

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Objective meaning:

„The traffic lights are green.“ 

Self revelation

„I am in a hurry!“ 

Relationship:

„You do not look at the traffic lights again – you are a lousy driver!“ 

Appeal:

„Come on drive!

The Result of the Receiving - Feedback

transmitted received message Sender Listener Feedback

Criteria for Feedback Rules

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Give a Feedback when the other one listens Feedback has to be detailed and concrete Show your real perception as perception, your assumption as assumption and your emotion as emotion Feedback should not analyze Feedback should express positive emotions Feedback is given to concrete behavior

Role Plays

Group 1

The husband is watching Football on TV.

His wife tries to tell him, that she is exhausted and will go to bed. She asks him if he could wash the dishes. But he replies that he doesn ´ t need more beer.

Questions:

What are you missing in this feedback ?

What would be a positive feedback under the use of the feedback rules? Make a short play.

Role Plays

Group 2

A Counsellor meets his or her client and they talk about the agreement they made last time.

The Client tells the Counsellor that he broke the agreement.

Find a concrete situation and give an adequate feedback to the client .

Role Plays

Group 3

A client meets his or her counsellor and they talk about the agreement they made last time.

The Client finds out that the Counsellor has broken the agreement.

Find a concrete situation and give an adequate feedback to the counsellor .

Carl Rogers: active listening

Building a relationship:

Especially with young people the outcome depends highly of the counselor-client relationship.

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Carl Rogers - 3 specific qualities: Congruence:

Open, authentic, communication in which the way I present myself to the client. Rogers: "I have found, in my relations with persons, that in the long run it does not help to pretend to be something I am not.“

Empathic understanding

: to try to take in and accept a client's perceptions and feelings as if they were your own, but without losing your boundary/sense of self.

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Respect:

acceptance, unconditional positive regard towards the client.

Active listening/ Paraphrasing

 The statements of the client are repeated in one owns words  Technique to verify if we understood the client in the right way – misunderstanding can be eliminated immediately

Active Listening/ Paraphrasing

 Feedback of the emotions one has decoded of the messages of the sender.

 No advice and judgement, no analyzing questions.

 Emotions and feelings are normal, one can talk about them even if they are negative or aggressive.

Active Listening/ Paraphrasing

 Active listening should not be used to manipulate people  You should have enough time for this method.

 Active listening is not always appropriate, e.g. if the client needs information or he/she shows signs of impatience

Doose cards

4 card sets:

Dreamcards, Life style, hat cards, vocational cards

Method

Sorting the cards and putting them to different piles: things, I always wanted to do/ things which do not interest me/ things I could try sometime Playing with the cards like a board game

Material

dreamcards: 144 cards with drawings showing different activities Lifestyle cards: 58 cards with drawings showing different aspects of everyday life Hat cards: 108 cards with drawings showing different roles Vocational cards: 144 cards with drawings showing different vocational topics

Goal:

information about the person, his/her desires, dreams, interests and life style starting a conversation, getting to know the adolescent, getting

Doose cards

Steve De Shazer/Insoo Kim Berg: Solution focused counseling…

 focuses on what clients want to achieve rather than on the problems  focuses on the present and future not on the past  focuses on strengths, resources and exceptions of the problem

Solution building assumptions

         Solution building instead of problem solving The client ´ s own goal drives the activities Emphasis on future potential, not past trauma Future is created and negotiated Clients are experts for their lives Even big problems begins with small. Simple, easy to do step toward solutions Everybody is invested in solutions they generate Hopeful, optimistic, respectful or clients ´ will Everybody is doing the best they can under very difficult circumstances

Useful interviewing tools

      Exception finding questions Scaling questions Miracle questions Coping questions: How do you cope? How come it ´ s not worse?

What else?

Relationship questions: What would your best friend (mother) say…? How would your family tell there was a miracle and your problem is solved?

Solution building procedure

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What needs to be different with …? (miracle question) What do you know about your… that tells you that this can happen? (exception finding question) 3. How much have you moved toward your solution? (scaling question) 4. What is the next first small step you need to take toward your goal? (scaling question) 5. How close are you toward your goal? (scaling question) 6. How confident are you that you can maintain the level of success you have achieved so far?

7. Termination