Transcript Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

CHAPTER 4
Revising and
Proofreading
Business
Messages
Multimedia Instructor Version
© 2007 Thomson South-Western
The Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 1, Slide 2
Revising
Improving content and
sentence structure—may
involve adding,
cutting, recasting
Proofreading
Correcting grammar,
spelling, punctuation,
format, and mechanics
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 3
Memo Revised for Conciseness
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 1, Slide 4
Concise Wording
Revise your messages to eliminate wordiness.
Instead of this
Try this
We are of the opinion that
We think
Please feel free to
Please
In addition to the above
Also
At this point in time
Now
Despite the fact that
Although
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 5
Clichés
Slang
Wordy
Prepositional
Phrases
Long
Lead-Ins
Outdated
Expressions
Concise
Writing
Eliminates
Needless
Adverbs
Jargon
Redundant
Words
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Fillers
Chapter 4, Slide 6
Wordy Prepositional Phrases
Instead of this
Try this
We don’t as a general
rule cash personal
checks.
Students in very few
instances receive
parking tickets.
She calls meetings on
a monthly basis.
We don’t generally
cash personal checks.
Students seldom get
parking tickets.
She calls monthly
meetings.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 7
Long Lead-Ins
Instead of this
Try this
This memo is to inform
you that all employees
meet today.
All employees
meet today.
I am writing this letter
to say thanks to
everyone who voted.
Thanks to
everyone who
voted.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 8
Outdated Expressions
Outdated
Modern
as per your request
at your request
pursuant to your request
at your request
attached hereunto
attached
under separate cover
separately
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 9
Needless Adverbs
To sound more credible and to streamline
your writing, avoid excessive use of adverbs
such as definitely, quite, really, and actually.
Instead of this
Try this
The manager is
actually quite pleased
with your proposal
because the plan is
definitely workable.
The manager is
pleased with your
proposal because the
plan is workable.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 10
Fillers
Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there
and it when used merely to take up space.
Instead of this
Try this
There are two
employees who should
be promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff
who were honored.
Two employees
should be
promoted.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Lisa and Jeff were
honored.
Chapter 4, Slide 11
Redundant Words
Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What
words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warning
close proximity
exactly identical
filled to capacity
final outcome
necessary requisite
new beginning
past history
refer back
serious danger
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 12
Jargon
Avoid technical terms and special terminology
that readers would not recognize.
Computer jargon
queue
Alternative language
list of documents
waiting to be printed
export
transfer data from one
program to another
bandwidth
Internet capacity
Is jargon ever permissible?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 13
Slang
Avoid slang (informal expressions with
arbitrary or extravagantly changed meanings).
to “bag on”
clueless
turkey
chill/chill out
to tease, to nag, or to
complain
unaware, naïve
someone stupid or silly
relax
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 14
Clichés
Avoid clichés (overused expressions).
Substitute more precise words.
Instead of this
Try this
Last but not least, you
should keep your nose
to the grindstone.
Finally, you should
work diligently.
We had reached the
end of our rope.
We could go no
further.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 15
Uses
Precise
Verbs
Includes
Vivid
Adjectives
The Best
Business
Writing
Avoids Wordy
Verb/Noun
Conversions
Uses
Concrete
Nouns
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 16
What to Watch for
in Proofreading
 Spelling
 Grammar
 Punctuation
 Names and numbers
 Format
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 17
Proofreading Marks
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 18
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 19
How to Proofread
Complex Documents




Allow adequate time.
Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.
Be prepared to find errors.
Read once for meaning and once for
grammar/mechanics.
 Reduce your reading speed.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 4, Slide 20
For documents that must be perfect:
 Have someone read aloud the original
while someone else checks the printout.
 Spell names.
 Spell difficult words.
 Note capitalization.
 Note punctuation.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 1, Slide 21