Transcript BEOWULF CAST: Hrothgar Beowulf

BEOWULF
:By Preston Walker
CAST:
Hrothgar
Beowulf
Grendel
Grendal’s Mother
The Dragon
Beowulfs Men
The Monster
Herot is the Dane’s ancient mom and pop’s coffee house.
Every morning before pillaging another European town they would
java up before donning their horned helmets.
But this morning “a murderous creature who poses a great
danger to the people…” stood ready to open a Starbucks to put
them out of business!
Enter Beowulf
Beowulf …
all
He goes to Hrothgar…
monster.
hears about this and decides to “purge
evil from this hall” .
and promises to slay the
Round One…FIGHT!
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Beowulf waits with his men inside the coffee shop for the evil capitalist to
return for another raid of java. Grendel, “seeing the hall full of sleeping
warriors” crept slowly through the place and inhaled all of the coffee…and
goes a little crazy…
Beowulf, waking up from the loud noises in the coffee
house bathroom, grabs his legendary sword and smacks
Grendel upside the head.
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VICTORY!
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“Beowulf, a prince of the Geats, had killed Grendel”.
To reward Beowulf, Hrothgar grants Beowulf his own royal
documenter, to record the story of Beowulf’s life…who later flees to
escape the drudgery of the boring epic to small Colorado town to
do more interesting things…
Yo Mamma!
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Uh oh! Has Beowulf bit off more than he could chew! Now he has to
deal with Grendel’s mom!
Beowulf dove into the lake which she lived, “For hours he sank
through the waves; at last he saw the mud at the bottom”.
Coincidence?
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Beowulfs trusty weapon could do nothing against Grendel’s
mother. Does he give up? I wish….but NO! All he does is look
around and ‘coincidentally’ there lies a “heavy sword. Forged by
giants, strong and blessed with their magic.”
Long live the King
•“After being honored by Hrothgar, Beowulf and his fellow Geats return
home” and becomes King of the Geats. But even today King Beowulf is
still known best for… his art school!
•The Geats put away their armor and swords and muster their
paints….this masterpiece is of the King Beowulf!
Dragon his arse back to battle
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“Beowulf rules Geatland for fifty years. Then a dragon menaces
his kingdom”.
The beast kept making fun of the Geat’s art….and that REALLY got
the old King mad. He set out to slay the beast with his legendary
paint brush.
His men were supposed to help him….but they werent quite as
brave as they used to be…
The story ends… WOO HOO!
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After defeating the beast with an art supply, he wins the Hero
of the Millenium Award, after his speech he thanked all who
made it possible…
“For this, this gold, these jewels,
I thank our Father in Heaven,
Ruler of the Earth…”
•What he didn’t know was that he was only being asked to
introduce the swordsman of the year award….and was laughed
off stage. He was so embarrassed, he fled Geatland, never to
return for another thousand years or so…where he made the
SAME MISTAKE!
THE END