Transcript A Question of Character

A Question of Character
• Does Joe Ryan really exemplify
Leadership? Why?
• What would Covey likely say about this
situation? Why?
• What should be done? Why?
For Discussion
• How do the self-imposed barriers delineated by Hesselbein relate to
Covey’s habits? What does “elevating (one’s) life by conscious endeavor”
have to do with it?
• Bennis says “leadership is the key to realizing the full potential of
intellectual capital.” Hesselbein suggests that leadership requires high
intelligence. Is it a matter of intellect? What do you think they mean?
Would Covey agree?
• What does the shift from personality ethic to character ethic involve?
Where does personality ethic come from? Is it just our nature? Is
Leadership “natural?” Why is leadership, as Bennis says, “elusive?”
• Warren Bennis mentions that “people want leaders to provide context.”
Where & how do Covey’s 1st 3 habits fit?
• Is Bennis correct when he says character develops throughout life? And
if so, how can it be the key to leadership? Does leadership then require
age; can leadership only come from the elderly?
• How do the 1st 3 habits relate to the 4 things constituents seek, namely
meaning, trust, sense of hope and results?
Habits of Private Victory
• Be proactive
• Begin with the end in mind
• Put first things first
The Transformation to Greatness
• From Personality Ethic
– Superficiality
• To Character Ethic
– Depth
Why Character Ethic?
• Bennis:
– 85% of a leader’s performance depends on
personal character
• “Qualities of the Heart” -- Goleman
– Meaning, Trust, Sense of Hope, Optimism
– It has to do with “who we are; with how we
organize our experience”
• “the particular mental or moral attitude that makes
one feel most deeply and intensively active and
alive… a voice inside which speaks and says, ‘this is
the real me’.” -- William James
What do you see?
What do you see now?
Paris
in the
the Spring
A Theory of Behavior
Stimulus
Response
There more to it than this!
What do you see?
Exploring the Nature of The Leadership Mind
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are
tiny matters, compared to what lies within us"
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where Scripts,
Attitudes &
Paradigms
Reside
Power of Paradigms
•Order reality
•Filter experience
•Structure life
Relate to Covey
• “…the life which is unexamined
is not worth living.”
~Socrates
• “The person in charge of us is us
and we may resent the
responsibility.”
~ Judith Viorst
“Leadership...
its based on a philosophy.
You have to ask,
the ultimate questions of life
when you’re dealing with
personal leadership issues”
~ Stephen Covey
Habit #1: Be Proactive
• We (human beings) are responsible
– We not only can respond, but we are able to choose our
response
• We need not react according to unconscious attitudes,
we can do otherwise
• Attitudes are not Absolutes
• Being Proactive means awakening to our responsibility
– It means making conscious those unconscious attitudes
that are controlling our actions
• Question what we’ve always thought, explore
what/how we feel
– It means taking stock of the focus of our concern
(attention)
• Assessing where we direct our energy
Circles of Concern & Influence
In which circle is your energy channeled?
Concern
Influenc
e
Reactive vs Proactive Individuals
Being Responsible means realizing that
the only one that you can do something about is YOU
Reactive
Proactiv
e
Energy channeled
Energy channeled
Our Way of Being-in-the-World:
It’s Our Choice!
Having Mode
• Once I have “this”,
then I’d be able to do
“that”, allowing me to
think “like that”
which will cause me to
be “like that”.
Having is all about
things out there--an
outward focus
Being Mode
• By being this way, I
will think like that and
do those things that
will enable me to have
what I need.
Being is all about
what lies within--an
inward focus
“Thought defends us from that
which it is unable or unwilling
to process”.
• So What Must “We” Do?
– Cease Being Egocentric
– Transform our life
–“The person in charge of us is us and
we may resent the responsibility”
• Requires Intra-Personal Leadership
• En-act circumstances: Use every
circumstance to learn about you
Which of these sentiments are you more likely
to express or feel? What does each say about
the person expressing it?
• Thank you for causing me pain,I was
getting too complacent
• You really upset me, and I thank you
for it
• It’s not my fault!
• I had no choice, I had to do it because
The Egocentric Individual:
• Identifies with certain positions/roles and possessions, thus
excluding other (inward) aspects his/her life.
– Stays focused (directs his/her energy) toward the surface issues
in life--the superficial
– Externally referenced--focused on things/circumstances “out
there”; No depth
• Abhors giving up what he/she has
– Seeks to sustain his/her way of “being-in-the-world”
– Wants to control things
– Doesn’t change; isn’t flexible
• Avoids conscious choice by Re-acting to circumstances (often
defensive), rather than En-acting circumstances--not “responsible
beings”.
– Not the creator of his/her life, but the victim of circumstances in
their life
We must understand that
• The Ego’s impulse is to resist that which is not comfortable
(&/or not familiar)
– But this is incompatible with Reality (for it is forever changing)
– Resisting it only creates (the necessity to) change in the extreme.
• Ultimately, the price of egocentricity is death--the very thing the ego
was avoiding.
– Egocentricity (actually) inhibits our humanness from unfolding
• How We Choose IS What We become!
– Each of us alone has the final choice about how to live
“our” life and to what “our” life is directed.
– What we’ve become (so far) IS how we’ve chosen to be
Dealing with our Egocentricity
First
• Write out some typical
egocentric (external
referenced) statements you
or your co-workers use.
• Take on the character of
these statements as you say
them to an other and let
both play out the resultant
exchange
– How do you each feel
Then
• Re-write the statements into
non-egocentric form
• Take on the character of these
statements as you say them to
an other and both play out the
resultant exchange
– How do you each feel
• Practice this new way of
being and relating, daily
All behavior happens in a context...
no one behaves in a vacuum
• We choose based upon our context--our frame of
reference, our attitudes, our paradigms, our reality
maps, our scripts.
• Change your context, and you change your choice.
• To change your way of “being-in-the-world” you
must change your context--your attitudes
– you must awaken to the unconscious attitudes that
are controlling your choices; that are controlling
your life.
How do we become aware of that which
is unconscious?
• Make conscious the unconscious attitudes
behind your immediate re-actions
–
–
–
–
Cease impulsive re-action
Be a witness to your thoughts, feelings & actions
Listen (really listen) to yourself!
Seek to understand your feelings & thoughts
• Discover why you feel and think as you do
• Determine what underlies your feelings & thinking
Identifying Needed Changes
• List at least 3 major things about yourself you need to change.
– Be specific; state each as a goal.
• e.g. “I must stop procrastinating for it stops me from
attempting things”
– Re-state each in a positive light.
• e.g. “to stop procrastinating” ---> “to relax and accept
that perfection is not possible”
– Identify what is keeping you from realizing each.
• Put your goals into the categories: Interior, Exterior.
– Interior is prior to Exterior.
– Determine what you could/should do.
• Circles of Influence vs Concern
Changing Our Attitudes
(if you don’t change your attitudes,
they will dis-empower you and
inhibit you from realizing your potential)
• Make unconscious attitudes conscious
• Assess/Evaluate their validity and consistency with your
espoused values
– What you Think and Feel is important
• Better to express feelings than to repress them
– Feelings inform us what’s important/significant
– Expressing feelings requires emotional intelligence
(honesty)
• Thinking enables us to (critically) analyze & plan
– We need to integrate Thinking & Feeling
• Accept or change each attitude--one at a time
Making Conscious
Our Unconscious Attitudes
(the tacit personal rules we live by)
• Identify the current key issues in your life (i.e. work,
personal).
• For each, determine why it is an issue.
• For each, explore the various choices you could make.
• For each, identify your feelings around each choice.
• For each, take the strongest feeling and investigate why
you feel as you do--what attitudes are producing the
feeling; what rule (or rules) are in conflict.
• Bring conscious choice to each attitude
– Accept & Affirm It or Reject & Change It
Example
• “(Deep down I know that) I need to find a different place to work”
• Why?
– What is wrong with the current job? Why is there a heartfelt need to change?
• I don’t feel that I’m growing/developing in my current company.
– What are the characteristics of the ideal workplace?
• Challenging, empowering, trusting, communicative
– What questions arise in your mind when you think about changing to such a
workplace?
• Can I do it? Will I be successful? Can I meet the challenge?
– What feelings do you get when you think about changing?
• Excitement; Fear; Stressed
– Which are the strongest feelings you have?
• Fear; What is it that you fear? I fear failing
– What attitudes do these feelings point to?
• I am so inadequate I am not capable of doing/being more
– What new (general) attitude--script/context--can you choose to create?
• I am capable of greatness (I need not let fear inhibit me from trying)
Habit II: Begin with End in Mind
• It’s not just a matter of setting goals!
• You Must First BE, Before You Can Become
• It requires getting to know your deepest
values & committing to “Just Doing It”
• The Destination IS The Journey
– daily focus/meditation, one attitude at a time
Beginning with End in Mind
Requires
•
•
•
•
Knowing Your Depth
Questioning Attitudes/Assumption
Aligning Values & Assumptions
Developing a Vision of how you will BE --the
life you want to create
– Consciously Living
• Developing a Mission Statement--how you will
use your unique talents in the process of living
your vision of how you will BE.
Leadership is not Management
(see Covey p. 101)
Leadership
Management
• It is the first creation
• Is the second creation
• It comes first
• It follows Leadership
• It is therefore an
Interior practice
• It is therefore an
Exterior practice
It is not that one replaces the other, but rather one precedes the
other
Habit III: First Things First
Being True to One’s Meanings
Living From Inside Out
“Problems with time are ultimately
problems with authenticity.”
~ P. Koestenbaum
Habit III: First Things First
• Internal Subjective Time
– Interiors: Your Inner World
– The World of Meaning
• External Clock Time
– Exteriors: The Outer World
– The World of Measurement
Never put Management Issues before Leadership
Issues!
So What’s a Person to Do?
• Listen to Your Inner Self
• Know your Meanings & Commit
to them
• Cease seeing your work as
external or separate from (your)
Life’s Meaning
• Make your Work Integral to
Becoming ( to realizing what you
potentially are)
Time Management Matrix
Urgent
Important
Unimportant
Not Urgent
What are the Leadership implications?
“To be able to use the power of other people,
it is necessary to win people’s hearts.
To win people’s hearts,
it is necessary to have self-mastery.
To be capable of self-mastery,
it is necessary to be flexible.”
~Huainanzi