Transcript Step Up to Writing Training Four: Elementary and Secondary January 12, 2010

Step Up to Writing
Training Four: Elementary and
Secondary
January 12, 2010
Lil Sedgwick and Kathy DeVries, Step Up
Trainers
Step Up to Writing Blog
http://blog.weber.k12.ut.us/ksedgwick/
Agenda:
• Scott Zellmer , Utah Formative Writing
Assessment
• Samantha Bills, Getting’ Them Ready
• Topic Sentences
• Conclusions
• Summary Paragraphs
• Step Up to Writing Blog
REV 04/08/03
Scott Zellmer
Utah Formative Assessment
REV 04/08/03
Samantha Bills
Gettin’ Really for Testing
REV 04/08/03
TOPIC SENTENCES AND
CONCLUSIONS
REV 04/08/03
Great Expository Paragraphs
Topic sentences and thesis
statements are the heart.
2-20 (2.36)
REV 04/08/03
Power (Number) Statements
Helpful Number Words
Two, three, four, several, many, some, a few,
numerous, a couple of, a number of, a myriad,
various, plenty of
1. The new recruits learned four
important procedures.
2. In the winter I enjoy watching several
high school sports.
2-24 (2.44)
REV 04/08/03
Power Statements
• Must contain a number that indicates the
number of points for items to follow.
I love yoga for three reasons.
• The number may be explicit or implied.
I love yoga for several reasons.
• New teachers should follow these two
suggestions for a successful first year.
2-24 (2.44)
REV 04/08/03
Power Statements
• However, not just any number
in a sentence will work.
Forty thousand people in
Detroit practice yoga.
Do you want to have
40,000 yellow sentences?
2-24 (2.44)
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Avoiding “There Are”
There
Are
• Start Power Statements
with a:
– Who
– What
– Where
– When
2-25
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Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
• A topic sentence that is a complex
sentence structure and one that will
add sentence variety and more
syntactic sophistication.
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Literature Selections with
Occasion/Position Sentences
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Occasion/Position Statements
If the 50’s
party was
going to be
successful/
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The Occasion:
• Is the first part of the topic sentence
• Introduces your reason for writing
• Can be any event, problem, idea,
solution, or circumstance that gives
you a reason to write
• Is the dependent clause in the
complex sentence
2-21
Occasion/Position Statement cont.
T
/the committee
would need to
do a lot of
research.
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The position:
• Is the second part of the topic
sentence
• States what you plan to prove or
explain in your paragraph
• Is the independent clause in the
complex sentence
• Use a physical prompt
to help students to
sense the dependent
clause is not complete:
– Stamp foot
– Clap hands
– Use voice intonation
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
Complex Sentence
Although my family and I have
taken many wonderful vacations,
none was more fun and exciting
than our camping trip to the
Grand Canyon.
2-21 (2.39)
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
Complex Sentence
1. Before you make the decision to light up a cigarette,
consider the problems caused by smoking.
2. Even though bike helmets are sometimes
unfashionable and uncomfortable, all cyclists.
should wear them.
3. If students use chemicals to do science experiments,
it is important that they learn the proper way to
dispose of them.
2-2 (2.39)
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
Complex Sentence
Before you make the decision to
light up a cigarette, consider the problems
caused by smoking.
Lung cancer
Emphysema
High risk of stroke
2-21 (2.39)
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
Complex Sentence
Even though bike helmets are sometimes
unfashionable and uncomfortable, all cyclists
should wear them.
___________
___________
___________
2-21 (2.39)
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences
Complex Sentence
Since he is
naughty
,
Tom gets into many
misadventures.
(2.39)
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Occasion/Position Sentences
An Occasion/Position Statement is a complex sentence
and begins with one of these words or phrases.
In order that
As
Whether
If
Until
After
Even though
Although
Since
Unless
Though
Before
While
Even if
So that
When
Because
Whenever
Even
Wherever
As long as
As if
As soon as
Where
2-21 (2.39)
REV 04/08/03
Occasion/Position Sentences
Although George Washington was president,
he was also famous.
Although George Washington was president,
he was also a farmer.
REV 04/08/03
Power Statements vs.
Occasion/Position Statements
Power Statement: New teachers should follow
these two suggestions for a
successful first year.
O/P Statement:
Although new teachers
have received many years
of college training, a new
teacher can benefit from
these simple suggestions.
2-21 (2.58)
REV 04/08/03
However Statements
• Creates a compound sentence
• Independent clauses are joined by
a conjunctive adverb
2-26
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However Statements
• The “however” is preceded by a semicolon
and followed by a comma.
My father is very strict; however,
he has good reasons for all his rules.
2-26
REV 04/08/03
However Statements
My father is very strict; however,
he has good reasons for all
his rules.
Teach responsible behavior
Teach personal integrity
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However Statements
Other Conjunctive Adverbs
• as a result
• consequently
• furthermore
• in fact
• meanwhile
• likewise
Pre-service teachers are well-schooled in
theory; meanwhile, the practical aspects
of teaching are ignored.
2-27
REV 04/08/03
Topic Sentence Options
•
•
•
•
•
REV 04/08/03
And, But, Or
Prepositions
To plus a Verb
List Statements
Get Their Attention
•
•
•
•
Side-by-Side
Semicolon
Noun, Two Comas
Using a Quotation
Writing Compound Topic Sentences
With And, But, and Or Statements
REV 04/08/03
REV 04/08/03
Where/When + What’s
Happening Topic Sentences
REV 04/08/03
REV 04/08/03
“Things” Trap
Weak: As I read about Ben Franklin,
I learned two things.
Better: As I read about Ben Franklin,
I learned that his life was
filled with challenges.
2-38
REV 04/08/03
Better Word Choices
•
•
•
•
•
Actions
Benefits
Features
Reasons
Improvements
•
•
•
•
•
Ideas
Items
Choices
Qualities
Thoughts
2-38
REV 04/08/03
Practice Writing Topic Sentences
Family pets
O/P:
Although he smells, Bud is a great dog.
Side-by-Side:
Bud stinks, drools, and sheds all over the
house. He’s also my best companion.
REV 04/08/03
Writing Great Conclusions
Conclusions tie it all together.
2-49 (2.75)
REV 04/08/03
Conclusions
• Provide an opportunity to sum up
key/star ideas and really emphasize
the topic sentence.
REV 04/08/03
Follow this simple rules for writing
conclusions:
(See 5-17a through 5-17d intermediate)
First:
Go back to the topic in the introduction.
Stay on topic
Use words from the topic sentence or
synonyms.
Do not add a new topic
REV 04/08/03
Simple rules continued….
Next, remind your readers of your
topic and what you wanted to
prove or explain.
Use a new action verb that means the same
thing
Use synonyms for important nouns
Use a new kind of sentence.
REV 04/08/03
Focus your conclusion in one of four
different ways.
• 1. Summarize key points…
Example:
Everyone can do something. As
this report shows, students, business
men and women, senior citizens, and
yes, even firefighters can help conserve
water.
REV 04/08/03
.
• 2. Convince your readers…
Example:
Don’t think that what you can do
isn’t much and won’t help. Everything
you do to conserve water will make a
difference now and in the future.
REV 04/08/03
.
• 3. Encourage your readers to take
action…
Example:
If we all just turn off the faucets
and don’t let them run, we can help. Tell
your family and your neighbors. They
will probably want to do their part.
REV 04/08/03
.
• 4. Give your readers a reason to
remember.
After my family decided to
conserve water, we felt good. Each day
we learned something new that helped
save even more water. At first we had to
remind each other, but now it is just a
habit. We plan to keep this habit for
many years.
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Tips…
• Keep your conclusion interesting by
using different kinds of sentences and
different sentence lengths.
• (i.e. Intermediate Tool 5-17c)
REV 04/08/03
.• Notice the ways that other writers add
conclusions.
• (Use articles, essays , news papers
and magazines to examine the
conclusions to learn new tips and
techniques)
(i.e. Intermediate Tool 5-17d)
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
1. Restate the position
2-49
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
2. Using Synonyms:
Although new teachers have received many years of
college training, a new teacher can benefit from these
simple suggestions.
New: novice, neophyte, beginning, freshly minted, first-year
Teacher: instructor, pedagogue
Benefit: profit, gain, improve
Suggestions: ideas, tips, pointers, recommendations
2-49 (2.74)
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
3. Use “conclusion” words or phrases.
• in conclusion
• to sum up
• certainly
• clearly
• definitely
• surely
2-49
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
4. Avoid —
• As I have said
• As I proved
• As you can see
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
5. When you conclude your paragraph,
try one of these methods.
Summarize: Summarize information.
In fact, skateboarding is good exercise and
great fun for boys and girls.
Encourage:
Encourage your reader to take action.
When adults see young children smoking,
they must speak up.
Convince:
Try once more to convince the reader of your
position. Truly, bike helmets save lives.
Challenge:
Challenge your reader to think.
Not everything on television is worth watching;
stop and think before you waste your time.
2-49 (2.74)
REV 04/08/03
Tips for Writing Conclusions
6. Vary the sentence structure
7. Use a quotation
8. Imitate the professionals
2-49 (2.50)
REV 04/08/03
Practice Strategies
Although I struggled through algebra, geometry was
a breeze.
R Effective teacher
e Hands-on activities
e Available during study hall for help
R Verbalizing of logic
e Daily presentation of proofs
Effective teaching and daily proof comprehension
clearly helped me in geometry.
REV 04/08/03
SUMMARY PARAGRAPHS
AND BOOK REPORTS
REV 04/08/03
Writing Summaries
1. A summary is a shortened,
condensed version.
2. The purpose of a summary is to share
the main ideas.
3. Summaries keep the same tone as the
original piece or do not contain opinion.
4. Summaries do not require a
formal conclusion.
3-3 (3.2)
REV 04/08/03
Four Step Summary Paragraph
• Level of instruction depends on the age and
ability of your students, time available, and
writing goals.
• Can be introduced in one lesson or you can
give instruction in small segments over a
number of days
• Most importantly---Model the strategy many
times and practice it with your students
often, using reading assignments from all
content areas!!
REV 04/08/03
A Four-Step Summary Paragraph
Step 1 Write a topic sentence using the three-part
topic sentence method (the burrito fold).
Identify the item
Select a verb
Finish your thought
Step 2 Copy this sentence to look like a real sentence.
Fix spelling and capitalization errors.
Step 3 Create a fact outline.
Step 4 Use your fact outline to write the
summary paragraph.
REV 04/08/03
3-5 (3.3)
Step 1
Write a topic sentence using the three-part
topic sentence method (the burrito fold).
Identify the item
Chapter two of
The Adventures
of Tom Sawyer
by Mark Twain
REV 04/08/03
Select a verb
Finish your thought
Verb Reference List for Summaries
List A: A good place to start
tells
explains
compares
lists
shows
defines
3-9
REV 04/08/03
Verb Reference List for Summaries
List B: Try These
acknowledges
evaluates
classifies
adds
defends
asserts
features
depicts
identifies
entertains
confirms
names
considers
offers
judges
contrasts
praises
demonstrates
provides
recommends
endorses
asks
suggests
entices
3-6 (3.9)
REV 04/08/03
Step 1
REV 04/08/03
Write a topic sentence using the three-part
topic sentence method (the burrito fold).
Identify the item
Select a verb
Chapter two of
The Adventures
of Tom Sawyer
by Mark Twain
describes
Finish your thought
Step 1
REV 04/08/03
Write a topic sentence using the three-part
topic sentence method (the burrito fold).
Identify the item
Select a verb
Chapter two of
The Adventures
of Tom Sawyer
by Mark Twain
describes
Finish your thought
how Tom got
others to do his
work for him.
Step 1
Write a topic sentence using the three-part
topic sentence method (the burrito fold).
Identify the item
Select a verb
Chapter two of
The Adventures
of Tom Sawyer
by Mark Twain
describes
Step 2
Finish your thought
how Tom got
others to do his
work for him.
Copy this sentence to look like a real sentence.
Fix spelling and capitalization errors.
Chapter two of The Adventures of Top Sawyer by Mark
Twain describes how he got others to do his work for him.
3-9 (3.3)
REV 04/08/03
Identify the item
Select a verb
Chapter two of
The Adventures
of Tom Sawyer
by Mark Twain
describes
Finish your thought
how Tom got
others to do his
work for him.
Step 3
- whitewash fence as punishment
- plan to make the whitewashing look fun
- buddies come by, beg for a turn
- work gets done with no effort by Tom
3-10 (3.3)
REV 04/08/03
JOTT Strategy
•
•
•
•
REV 04/08/03
Just
One
Two or
Three
Step 4
Chapter two of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by
Mark Twain describes how Tom got others to do his work
for him. Because of playing hooky, Aunt Polly punishes
Tom by having him whitewash the fence on Saturday. Tom,
instead of making the whitewashing look like a chore,
makes it appear to be a fun activity of his choosing. As his
buddies come by, they beg to have a turn at this delightful
activity, often paying for the opportunity. By the end of the
day, not only was Tom’s chore done by others, but they
paid him for the pleasure of doing it.
3-10
REV 04/08/03
Step 1:
The Three-Part Sentence Method
Identify
“The Long
Goodbye”
Newsweek,
October 2, 1995
“Where did T.V.
come from?” by
Carl Sagan
Verb
illustrates
demonstrates
Finish your thought
how families, such as
the family of Ronald
Reagan, pull
together when one
family member is
stricken with a
disease such as
Alzheimer's.
the importance of
providing funds for
scientific research.
3-8 (3.6)
REV 04/08/03
Step 1:
The Three-Part Sentence Method
Identify
Painless Public
Speaking, by
Sharon Bower
The movie
Forest Gump
Verb
Finish your thought
provides
a number of
practical hints for
people who are
afraid of speaking in
front of a group.
entertains
the audience with a
great story and
quick review of
history.
3-8 (3.6)
REV 04/08/03
Guided Practice for the
Four-Step Summary
Identify
The movie
The Sound
of Music
Verb
captures
Finish your thought
the difficulties faced
by the Von Trapp
family when
confronting the
Nazi regime.
3-8 (3.6)
REV 04/08/03
Guided Practice for the
Four-Step Summary
Identify
The Diary of
Anne Frank
Verb
confronts
Finish your thought
the adolescent pain
of a Jewish girl
while hiding from
the Nazis.
3-8 (3.6)
REV 04/08/03
Plot line Summaries
• Show the outline of a story’s plot
• Can be used to learn or review terms
used to write about stories
• Can be used to practice identifying the
important events in a story or narrative
REV 04/08/03
Summaries Without Words
• Students use large sheets of plain
paper to draw pictures with markers
and pencils
• Students then use the drawings to
give an oral summary
REV 04/08/03
Money Summaries
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The 12-Word Trick
• Prompts students to pick 12 words
related to a text to help them recall
what they learned
REV 04/08/03
12 Word Trick Directions
• After reading an article ask your students to
pick 12 words from the text or from the
content
• Have them make a list with their words.
• Have them sort the words into categories or
groups
• Have students write and share a 2 or 3
sentence summary using the 12 words
REV 04/08/03
Topics for Paragraph Writing
Football
Family
Safety
Coaches’
Involvement
Issue
Training
3-69
REV 04/08/03
Sample Assessment Prompt
Topic
Pretend that your teacher has asked the entire class to
share ideas for two field trips for the year. One trip will
be in the fall and the other will be in the spring. Both
field trips must be no more than an hour away form
school. Write a letter to your teacher explaining your
ideas for the field trips.
What you will write about
What you will write
Verb
3-73
REV 04/08/03
Sample Student Response
Dear Mr. Clark,
I have some good ideas for our two field
trips this year.
Topic sentence for the letter
3-73
REV 04/08/03
Six-Sentence Paragraph
Topic = Giant pandas
Food
Bamboo
Habitat
Live in China
Conclusion
REV 04/08/03
Eight-Sentence Paragraph
Topic = Giant pandas
Food
Bamboo
Vegetarians
Habitat
Live in China
Zoos
Conclusion
REV 04/08/03
Essay
4.7
REV 04/08/03
Essay
4.7
REV 04/08/03
Don’t Stack Accordions—Stretch Them
Paragraph One
Paragraph Two
Paragraph Three
Green
Yellow
Red
Yellow
Red
Green
Green
Yellow
Yellow
Red
Red
Green
Green
Yellow
Red
Yellow
Green
Do not conclude paragraphs in a multiparagraph piece.
Write a conclusion paragraph at the end.
4-4 (4.7)
REV 04/08/03
Writing Accordion Essays
Thesis Statement in an
Introductory Paragraph
Organizing Information
Transition Topic Sentences
Examples and Evidence
Writing the Conclusion
Section 4 (4.17)
REV 04/08/03
12 Steps of Writing an Accordion Essay
1. Title
2. Thesis Statement
3. Make a Plan
4. Block Out
5. Informal Outline
6. Choose Transitions
4-8
REV 04/08/03
12 Steps of Writing an Accordion Essay
7. Conclusion
8. First Draft
9. Revise
10. Edit
11. Final Copy
12. Proofread
REV 04/08/03
Easy Accordion Essay/Report
Step 1: Title
The Great Camel
Step 2: Thesis statement
The camel is important
Step 3: Make a Plan
Transportation and Food
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Step 4
The camel is a very important
(thesis)
animal for several reasons. It
provides transportation and food (plan)
for desert people.
transportation
conclusion
REV 04/08/03
food
Step 5: Informal Outline
Provides transportation
-
Can walk long distances without water
-
Can carry heavy loads
Provides food
-
Milk
• for drinking
• for making yogurt
-
REV 04/08/03
Meat
Step 5: Choose Transitions

One reason the camel is useful is it
provides transportation.
- Can walk long distances without water
- Can carry heavy loads
Repro/82
REV 04/08/03
Step 6: Choose Transitions

The camel also provides food.
- Milk
• for drinking
• for yogurt
- Meat
REV 04/08/03
Step 7: Conclusion
Synonyms
- Useful
- Beast of burden
- “Workhorse” of the desert
REV 04/08/03
A Thesis Statement
(Step 2)
• Is the heart of your paper
• Gives the main idea of an essay
• Contains key words
• Presents a general idea that will
be supported
• Might be called your position
statement
4-17 (4.18)
REV 04/08/03
Step 2: Thesis (O/P)
Although Charles Lindbergh is sometimes
called “Lucky Lindy,” no one would dare refer to
his 1927 flight across the Atlantic as a feat of
luck.
Step 3: Projected Plan (PP)
His successful flight was clearly due to
extensive planning, talent as a pilot, and raw
courage.
4-19 (4.20)
REV 04/08/03
Step 2: Thesis (O/P)
Even though Ben Franklin was
seventy years old when the American
Revolution started, he still had a lot
to do with the independence of the colonies.
Step 3: Projected Plan (PP)
Helping the colonists, informing people
of the world about the revolution, and
serving on many committees were some
of the important things that he did.
4-20 (4.21)
REV 04/08/03
Steps 2-4
Even though Ben Franklin was seventy years old at
the time of the revolution, he still had a lot to do with the
independence of the colonies. Helping the
colonists, informing people of the world about the
revolution, and serving on many committees were
some of the important things that he did.
Helping
colonies
Informing
people
Serving on
committees
Conclusion
4-20 (4.22)
REV 04/08/03
Steps 2-4
If you study Greek mythology, be sure to
include the stories of Icarus and Phaëthon.
These stories are interesting because they are
about teenagers, about greed, and about
death.
Teenagers
Greed
(thesis)
(plan)
Death
Conclusion
4-21
Steps 3-4
As I read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by
Jules Verne, I discovered that Verne produced many (thesis)
ideas for future inventions. He made accurate
predictions on important things like the airplane,
submarines, guided missiles, and space travel.
(plan)
Airplane
Submarine
Missile
Space
Travel
Conclusion
4-22 (4.23)
Informal Outlines
Topic = The Zoo
Topic = The Zoo
 Lions
 Management
 Tigers
 Food service
 Bears
 Guides
 Veterinarians
4-38 (4.38)
REV 04/08/03
Thesis Statement (green)
Paragraph #1
Projected Plan (green)
Transition topic sentence (yellow)
Paragraph #2
Explanation (red)
Explanation (red)
Transition topic sentence (yellow)
Paragraph #3
Explanation (red)
Explanation (red)
Conclusion (green)
Paragraph #4
Conclusion (green)
4-39 (4.40)
REV 04/08/03
Practice Outline for an Essay
Title_______________
Introduction______________________________
_____________________________________ (green)
( ) ____________________________ (yellow)
-___________________________ (red)
-___________________________ (red)
( ) ____________________________ (yellow)
-___________________________ (red)
-___________________________ (red)
Conclusion_________________________________
_____________________________________ (green)
4-40 (4.45)
REV 04/08/03
Dangerous Snakes
Even though most snakes that we encounter are
harmless, there are some snakes that are dangerous because
their bites are poisonous. Since they could harm us, we should
all know a few facts about rattlesnakes, cottonmouths,
copperheads, and coral snakes.
(
) 1_____________________________________
2____________________________________
2____________________________________
(
) 1_____________________________________
2____________________________________
2____________________________________
2____________________________________
4-42 (4.48)
REV 04/08/03
Secondary MultiParagraph Writing
Topic = Famous dead person
1. What was the problem he/she encountered? What
was his/her society like? What happened in his/her
background to trigger his/her interest in this
problem?
2. How did the person overcome the problem or what
did he/she accomplish?
3. What effect does the person’s accomplishment have
on us today?
REV 04/08/03
Famous Dead Person
Whenever twenty-first century scientists point
telescopes to the heavens, they remember
Nicolaus Copernicus. Copernicus led a scientific
revolution by disproving old beliefs, establishing
that the sun was the center of the solar system,
and laying the groundwork for modern astronomy.
Answers to Question 1
Disproving old
beliefs
REV 04/08/03
Answers to Question 2
Establishing that
the sun was the
center of the
solar system
Answers to Question 3
Laying the
groundwork for
modern
astronomy
Practical Tips for Teaching
Multiparagraph Writing
• Select a topic that is broad enough for grade level
research materials.
• Animals
• States
• Countries
• Famous dead people
• Collect rough drafts one paragraph or section at
a time.
• Model every as a mini-lesson.
• When students are working independently,
conference with students who need extra help.
REV 04/08/03
By Maureen E. Auman
REV 04/08/03