CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTRIES FOR THE 21

ST

CENTURY

Penn Central Conference Annual Meeting June 8, 201 3 REV. KRISTINA LIZARDY-HAJBI, PH.D.

OVERVIEW

 Societal views of family  Five familial shifts and trends  Implications for churches  Helpful frameworks and best practices

WHAT IS A FAMILY?

Some definitions and facts:  U.S. Census Bureau (2010):   “A family is a group of two people or more (one of whom is the householder) related by birth, marriage, or adoption and residing together.” “A nonfamily household consists of a householder living alone or with nonrelatives only, for example, with roommates or an unmarried partner.”  Indiana University study “Counted Out: Same-Sex Relations and Americans' Definitions of Family” (2010):       99.8%: Husband, wife, and kids = family 92%: Husband and wife without the kids = family 83%: Unmarried man and woman with children = family 64%: Gay male couple with children = family 39.6%: Unmarried man and woman living together = family 33%: Gay male couple = family  The bottom line: A majority of people believe that having children constitutes being a family.

FAMILIES IN THE UCC

Faith Communities Today (FACT) Study (2010): UCC was the 2 older than 65.

nd highest (only behind the PCUSA) in percentage of congregations with 33% or more members On average, 12% of regular UCC church participants were children and youth (ages 0 17).

FIVE FAMILIAL SHIFTS AND TRENDS

1 . Families have become:    Less stable More mobile More influenced by culture than by institution 2. Families are smaller and more domestically isolated.  A 1957 study found that “80% of those surveyed believed that people who preferred being unmarried were ‘sick,’ ‘immoral,’ or ‘neurotic.’ At a time when more than 70% of adults were married, it's not surprising that people would express a preference for wedded life.”  Today, things are different. According to a recent study, “Americans are now within mere percentage points of being a majority single nation: Only 51% of adults today are married, And 28% of all households now consist of just one person—the highest level in U.S. history.”

FIVE FAMILIAL SHIFTS AND TRENDS (CONT.)

FIVE FAMILIAL SHIFTS AND TRENDS (CONT.)

3. The role of women within the family unit has changed drastically in the last 50 years. 4. As Christian education/Sunday School became a defining feature of spiritual formation in the church, faith formation in the home diminished. 5. Competing demands on families’ time has caused them to consider church as just one of many options for development and growth.  Families attend worship an average of once per month.



Bonus trend:

Families in general are less financially stable and face greater financial challenges than their parents.

IMPLICATIONS FOR CHURCHES

  Increased diversity of family types is problematic for a traditional church program-based model.

 Example: Weekly Sunday School lessons for children and youth of divorced parents who have shared custody  Example: Interfaith/multifaith families (“Interfaith Families: Practicing Radical Inclusion and Hospitality,” aspx?issue_id=129 )

Word & World

, http://wordandworld.luthersem.edu/issues.

 In many ways, children and families have different spiritual needs than they did 50 years ago What has attracted families in the past does not necessarily attract families today.

 Sunday School for children, Youth Group for youth, and Worship/Bible Study for adults  The institution or the building itself

IMPLICATIONS FOR CHURCHES (CONT.)

  Because of the nature of families’ lives today (through the impact of technology and aged-based over programming), more families are looking for family -friendly spaces, interactions, activities, practices, and relationships.

 Staying home and spending family time together on a Sunday vs. going to church for more programming that may separate the family Parents are sometimes more scrutinizing of the quality and depth of experiences for their children and youth.  They may expect the same level of “customer service” that they receive in other areas of their lives.

IMPLICATIONS FOR CHURCHES (CONT.)

At the heart of these shifts and trends affecting churches and families, the main questions become:  Is what we are offering as a church meeting the needs of families today?

 Should our church be trying to attract “traditional” two -parent families with young children? Why might we have this desire to attract this particular population in the first place?  How do we, as a congregation, define the term “family ”? Do we need to expand our understanding of “family” to include people who do not (currently have or have ever had) children ?

FRAMEWORKS FOR VITAL CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTRIES

“Without the formal authority of the church in place, it no longer has the influence over people’s lives that it once had. So how do we gain credibility? Build relationships by meeting them in their worlds, then provide content and resources to respond to their needs.” –John Roberto (2012)

FRAMEWORKS FOR VITAL CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTRIES (CONT.)

John Westerhoff’s Learning Processes    Categorical Age (Conservative Model). The learner is a valuable piece of raw material, and the teacher is the expert who molds children. “We do things

to

people so as to aid their growth into adulthood.” Developmental Stage (Liberal Model). This model identifies people with their category, but the same kind of manipulation is at work as in the conservative model. The child or learner is a seed, the teacher or parent is a gardener, and the process is to care for the seeds until they grow up naturally. “Now we do things

for

people.” Characteristics of Life (Integrative Model). This model is not about events but processes and brings people together by interest. The learner is a pilgrim, the teacher is a co-pilgrim, and the process is a shared journey together over time. ”We do things

with

people.” [30]

FRAMEWORKS FOR VITAL CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTRIES (CONT.)

John Roberto: Develop a network approach to faith formation; stop placing main focus on figuring out how to program for people’s time at church—this is a new way to be the body of Christ!

Shift from a one-size-fits-all approach to a network of personalized and customized faith formation activities and resources The network is now the curriculum (i.e. the whole life of the church) and vice versa This network is both physical and virtual; build it around the people and the community Example: A baptism network for young families Mentors Practices (first prayers, start of school, etc.) Parenting Milestones

FRAMEWORKS FOR VITAL CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTRIES (CONT.)

John Roberto’s Network Approach to Faith Formation ( www.faithformation2020.net

)

BEST PRACTICES

   Intergenerational faith formation—bringing all age groups together to engage their faith—is an effective way to accomplish the goals of lifelong faith formation. Congregations in which children, youth, and families are active participants and leaders in the whole life of the church are communities of vital faith formation. The role of the home is critical to faith formation. From “Foundations, Findings, and Futures: Christian Faith Formation and Education in the UCC” available at: www.ucc.org/education

BEST PRACTICES (CONT.)

 Vital formational children’s ministry is about story, ritual, and relationship.  Vital youth faith formation makes connections between a personal God, youths’ communal concerns, and their role and agency in their own lives and in the world.  Vital faith formation for children, youth, and young adults occurs when adults engage their own faith in meaningful ways and serve as models for them.  Best practices yet to be determined… From “Foundations, Findings, and Futures: Christian Faith Formation and Education in the UCC” available at: www.ucc.org/education

SHIFTING ROLES OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES MINISTERS

 From a singular teacher/facilitator to a

co-nurturer/co-equipper

 From a content creator to a

content curator

 From a program manager/designer to a

learning architect

CENTERS OF EXCELLENCE

QUESTIONS?

Contact: Rev. Dr. Kristina Lizardy -Hajbi Minister for Christian Faith Formation Research Congregational Vitality and Discipleship Team Local Church Ministries 1-866-822-8224 ext. 3866 [email protected]