Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style Self-Management • Click Positive to edit Master text styles – Second level in • Third level Challenging Times – Fourth level • Fifth level Janaki Severy [email protected] Phone.
Download ReportTranscript Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style Self-Management • Click Positive to edit Master text styles – Second level in • Third level Challenging Times – Fourth level • Fifth level Janaki Severy [email protected] Phone.
Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style Self-Management • Click Positive to edit Master text styles – Second level in • Third level Challenging Times – Fourth level • Fifth level Janaki Severy [email protected] Phone 206-478-7173 Managing Dynamics Presentation Outline Click to edit Master title style Key Component Key Lesson I. Managing You You can manage yourself proactively and creatively • Third II. Managing Timelevel – Fourth level • Fifth level III. Managing Stress Your success in your life is due to self awareness, balance and self-discipline IV. Reframing Changing the frame, changes the meaning V. Winning Communication Successful communication creates winning relationships • Click to edit Master text styles – Second level Your stress levels can be managed through techniques and self-care Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style I. Managing You • Click to edit Master text styles You can manage yourself proactively and creatively • Third level – Second level – Fourth level • Fifth level Managing Dynamics Performance Effectiveness Click to editImproved Master title style Performance After stabilization of adjustment strategies • Click to edit Master text styles 3 – Second level Before high growth/change • Third level Undesired – Fourth level Behavior • Fifth level Change 1 2 During adjustment to growth/change Deteriorated Performance Desired Behavior Change Managing Dynamics The 7 Questions Employees Ask Click to edit Master title style In “Normal Environment” In “A Changing Environment” • Click to edit Master1. text styles Will I have the same job? 1. What’s my job? 2. How am I doing? 3. What’s our job (the goals and objectives•ofThird my worklevel group)? 4. Does anybody care (whether or not – Fourth level I do a good job...are there • Fifth level consequences/rewards)? 5. How are we (our work group) doing? 6. What are the goals of our organization? – Second level 7. How can I help? 2. Can I do anything to prepare for changing job expectations? 3. What’s happening with my work group (in terms of job function)? 4. Will it make a difference (to my job security) if I take a new job within the company? 5. What can we do to help redefine our work group’s jobs? 6. What are the growth goals of our organization? 7. What can I do to help meet the needs of our company now? Managing Dynamics Behavior and Change Click to edit Master title style Changing Yourself to edit Master text • AClick person must desire change in orderstyles for change to be effected. Change is uncomfortable for many people and is often avoided. – Second level A deterrent to change for many people is the fear of: • Third level disappointment – Fourth level failure • Fifth level resentment A person who desires change must be able to temporarily risk: feeling safe a protected self-esteem a sense of identity Managing Dynamics Behavior and Change Click to edit Master title style Changing Others • Click to editmeans Master text styles The most effective of inducing change in the other person is to behave – Second leveltoward him or her in ways that will satisfy basic needs. • Third level – Fourth level The other person maylevel change when you are willing to • Fifth respond to their behavior. For this method to be successful, the relationship must be one of mutual requests for change or mutual compliance with the other’s wish. Managing Dynamics Increasing Personal Power Click to edit Master title style Pro-active self-management • Click to edit Master text styles – Compassion Second leveltowards yourself and others • Thirdgo level Letting of old expectations: • • • • – Fourth level Your role • Fifth level Company’s role Relationships Definition of success Open to growth Managing Dynamics • Click to edit Master title style II. Managing Time Click to edit Master text styles Your success – Second level in your life is due to self • Third level awareness, balance – Fourth level and self-discipline • Fifth level Managing Dynamics How the Conscious Mind Operates Click to edit Master title style • Click tocontent/factual edit Master text styles Collects information – Second level Needs focus and direction Needs structure and organization – Fourth level • Third level • Fifth level Has limited information storage Uses linear patterns of thinking Managing Dynamics How the Unconscious Mind Operates Click to edit Master title style information •Collects Click subjective to edit Master text styles – Second level through experiences Feeds information • Third level Responds–toFourth highlevel impact messages • Fifth level Has unlimited information storage Assimilates information as a whole Managing Dynamics Working with the Left Brain Click to edit Master title style WHEN LEFT BRAIN GIFTED: • Click to edit Master text styles START WITH LOGIC... CREATE A PLAN – Second level • Third level IN–ADVANCE Fourth level OF PROJECTS MAKE: • Fifth level Written Goals Completion Dates Objectives/Guidelines A System Managing Dynamics Working with the Right Brain Click to edit Master title style WHEN RIGHT BRAIN GIFTED: • ClickBUILD to edit Master text styles IN A REWARD ON A REGULAR – Second BASISlevel WITH “WHAT’S FUN FOR YOU” • Third level TAKE RISKS...TRUST YOUR – Fourth level • INNER Fifth levelKNOWINGNESS Trust Yourself Drop the Need for proof Experience Yourself Expanding Managing Dynamics One Minute for Myself Click to edit Master title style Before I take care of anything or anyone, I must first take good care of myself. treat myself the wayMaster I want otherstext to treatstyles me. •I must Click to edit Simplify my life andlevel stop, look and listen to the things around me. – Second • Third Ask myself, “What islevel the best way for me right now to take better care of me?” – Fourth level Listen to my own inner wisdom and follow its direction. • Fifth level In one minute I can change my attitude and in that minute I change my entire day. I will choose to experience the good and positive each moment of my day. The more I take good care of myself, the less resentment and anger I feel and the more caring I become towards myself and others. Managing Dynamics • Click to edit Master title style III. Managing Stress Click to edit Master text styles stress –Your Second level levels can be managed through • Third leveltechniques and self-care – Fourth level • Fifth level Managing Dynamics Stress is Not a Dirty Word! Click to edit Master title style is not be avoided. is, to avoid sources •Stress Click to to edit Master The texttruth styles of stress is impossible. . . for anyone who is alive. – Second level Third level Neither• is stress always damaging. Causes of stress can be – Fourth pleasurable, rather level than unpleasant. The secret is how well • Fifth level our bodies adjust to different degrees of stressful conditions. Any kind of activity, from a game of checkers to a loving embrace, can produce a great degree of stress without causing harmful effects as our bodies adjust to it. Managing Dynamics Distress vs Eustress Click to edit Master title style DISTRESS is the damaging or hurtful part of stress. • It is when our bodies or minds are unable to adapt to certain levels of stress. The stress of living with another person is a big causes of distress because our idiosyncrasies, ambitions, and ideas “get on other people’s nerves”. No matter how much we – Second level love or respect the other. When two or more people live or work Thirdwill level together,• there be times of interpersonal stress. – Fourth level Fifth level EUSTRESS is good• stress. Even joy or success can cause psychological or physical changes in the body mind • The word comes from the ancient Greek language where it meant “life meaning.” In other words, a marriage, birth of a baby or a promotion can also cause stress, yet we view these as positive happenings or “good stress” . • Click to edit Master text styles Managing Dynamics Positive Copers Click to edit Master title style DIVERSIONS GETAWAYS: Spend time alone. See a movie. Daydream. Write. Paint. Remodel. Create styles something. • ClickHOBBIES: to edit Master text LEARNING: Take a class. Read. Join a club. – Second MUSIC:level Play an instrument. Sing. Listen to the stereo. PLAY: level Play a game. Go out with friends. • Third WORK: FAMILY Tackle a new project. – Fourth level • Fifth level BALANCING: CONFLICT RESOLUTION: ESTEEM-BUILDING: FLEXIBILITY: NETWORKING: TOGETHERNESS: Keep busy. Volunteer. Balance time at work and home. Accept the good with the bad. Look for win/win solutions. Forgive readily. Build good family feelings. Focus on personal strengths. Take on new family roles. Stay open to change. Develop friendships with other families. Make use of community resources. Take time to be together. Build family traditions. Express affection. Managing Dynamics Positive Copers (continued) Click to edit Master title style INTERPERSONAL AFFIRMATION: Believe in yourself. Trust others. Give compliments. ASSERTIVENESS: StateMaster your needs and wants. “no” respectfully. • Click to edit textSaystyles CONTACT: Make new friends. Touch. Really listen to others. – Second EXPRESSION:level Show feelings. Share feelings. LIMITS: level Accept others’ boundaries. Drop some involvements. • Third LINKING: MENTAL Share problems with others. Ask for support from family/friends. – Fourth level • Fifth level IMAGINATION: LIFE PLANNING: ORGANIZING: PROBLEM-SOLVING: RELABELING: TIME MANAGEMENT: Look for the humor. Anticipate the future. Set clear goals. Plan for the future. Take charge. Make order. Don’t let things pile up. Solve it yourself. Seek outside help. Tackle problems head-on. Change perspectives. Look for good in a bad situation. Focus on top priorities. Work smarter, not harder. Managing Dynamics Positive Copers (continued) Click to edit Master title style PHYSICAL BIOFEEDBACK: Listen to your body. Know your physical limitations. NOURISHMENT: Eat for health. Limit use of alcohol. EXERCISE: fitness. Jog.text Swim. Dance. Walk. • Click to Pursue editphysical Master styles – SecondTenselevel and relax each muscle. Take a warm bath. Breathe deeply. RELAXATION: • ThirdEnergize levelyour work and play. Strive for self-improvement. SELF-CARE: STRETCHING: SPIRITUAL Take short stretch breaks throughout your day. – Fourth level • Fifth level COMMITMENT: FAITH: PRAYER: SURRENDER: Take up a worthy cause. Say “yes”. Invest yourself meaningfully. Find purpose and meaning. Trust God. Confess. Ask forgiveness. Pray for others. Give thanks. Let go of problems. Learn to live with the situation. VALUING: Set priorities. Be consistent. Spend time and energy wisely. WORSHIP: Share beliefs with others. Put faith into action. Managing Dynamics Negative Copers Click to edit Master title style ALCOHOL: Drink to change your mood. Use alcohol as your friend. DENIAL: Pretend nothing is wrong. Lie. Ignore the problem. • Click to edit Master text styles DRUGS: Abuse coffee/aspirin/medications. Smoke pot. Pop pills. bingeing. Go on a diet. Use food to console you. – EATING: SecondKeep level • Third level FAULT FINDING: Have a judgmental attitude. Complain. Criticize. ILLNESS: Develop headaches/nervous stomach/major illness. Become accident prone. – Fourth level PASSIVITY: Hope it gets better. Procrastinate. • Fifth level REVENGE: STUBBORNNESS: TANTRUMS: TOBACCO: WITHDRAWAL: WORRYING: Wait for a lucky break. Verbal sparing. Sarcasm. Talking mean. Be rigid. Demand your way. Will not accept responsibility. Yell. Mope. Pout. Swear. Behave recklessly. Smoke to relieve tension. Smoke to be “in”. Avoid the situation. Skip school or work. Keep your feelings to yourself. Fret over things. Imagine the worst. Loop your thinking Managing Dynamics A Child’s Approach Click to edit Master title style Often the very things we see children do are those we could continue in our own lives with much joy and value. Things children do that adults are encouraged to begin again: •PlayClick to edit Discover Master ball small text creaturesstyles outside – Second level Play with clay Skip/run/hop Color/paint/draw Sing/dance to music Be silly Make up stories Fantasize Remember dreams Imagine things Pick flowers Say what you FEEL • Third level Get “dirty” – Fourth level Take naps • Fifth level Love freely Give hugs Make friends Try new things Carry balloons Find pretty rocks Managing Dynamics Humor and Laughter Therapy Click to edit Master title style Be aware of how frequently you laugh . . shoot for 2x a day. • Use Click to edit Master text styles your creative mind to see things from a 180° reversal, just to change your perspective! – Second level Avoid •people are negative or pessimistic as much as possible . . . Thirdwho level seek optimistic/positive – Fourth levelco-workers and friends. • Fifth level of your own frailties leads to stress, Laugh at yourself; intolerance tension, and low self-esteem. Intolerance of others leads to blame and anger. Take responsibility in your life to be positive as much as you can. Remember, flowers won’t grow in a weed patch and neither will a stress-free life. Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style • Click to edit Master text styles – Second level IV. Reframing • Third level Changing the frame, changes the meaning – Fourth level • Fifth level Managing Dynamics The Perception Process Click to edit Master title style People have beliefs they validate by personal logic • Click to edit Master text styles People notice what supports their belief – Second level People remember what supports their beliefs • Third level People’s beliefs determine their selection of – Fourth level perceptions• Fifth level People’s beliefs determine their thought processes People can learn new thoughts and change their beliefs HOW ARE YOUR BELIEFS AFFECTING YOU? Managing Dynamics Mental Obstacles Click to edit Master title style Skill Traps: • Click to edit Master Lack of training – Second level Poor training • Third level Unclear – Fourth level expectations Attitude Traps: text styles Fear Perception Self-esteem • Fifth level Mind Traps: Your past experience Your inner stories Excuses/reasons Managing Dynamics Reframing the Mind Click to edit Master title style The mind can be reframed for greater success. •The mindtocan reprogrammed for practically Click editbeMaster text styles anything youlevel want to do or accomplish. – Second Learn•how Thirdyour levelbrain works to discover your beliefs and howlevel they are impacting you. – Fourth Use self discovery to learn your unconscious • Fifth level beliefs. Refine what you want and the beliefs you need to change to get it. Managing Dynamics Reframing: Changing the Meaning Click to edit Master title style • Click to edit Master text styles The meaning any event has depends on the – “Frame” Second level in which it is perceived • Third level If you– change the “Frame” you change the Fourth level meaning• Fifth level Managing Dynamics Reframing: 2 Levels Click to edit Master title style Internal Reframing: Reframe • Click to edit Master text styles yourself to more options and to produce –generate Second level greater • Thirdresults level – Fourth level • Fifth level External Reframing: Reframe another to consider other options and make a commitment to a better one Managing Dynamics Reframing Rules Click to edit Master title style Answer all criticisms or corrections with “Thank You”. •When Click to edit Mastercharged text styles you have an emotionally reaction, wait 24 hours before acting. – Second level Inhale and exhalelevel to the count of five before responding to other’s • Third resistance, then pauselevel and go to your second reaction. – Fourth • Fifth Always thank others forlevel being willing to express their resistance. Always communicate Re-phrase the resistance issue in the positive. Focus on what others are doing right and acknowledge them for it! Managing Dynamics We Hear What We Listen For… Click to edit Master title style Two men are walking along a crowded sidewalk in a business area. Suddenly one exclaimed: •downtown Click to edit Master text styles “Listen to the lovely sound of that cricket.” But the other – Second could not hear. level He asked his companion how he could • Third detect the soundlevel of a cricket amid the din of people and traffic. – Fourth level Fifth level had trained himself to listen to The first man, a• zoologist, the voices of nature. But he didn’t explain. He simply took a coin out of his pocket and dropped it to the sidewalk, whereupon a dozen people began to look about them. “We hear,” he said, people began to look at them. “We hear,” he said “what we listen for.” Kermit Long Managing Dynamics Click to edit Master title style V. Winning Communication • Click to edit Master text styles Successful – Second level communication •creates Third levelwinning relationships – Fourth level • Fifth level Managing Dynamics Communication is…. Click to edit Master title style Meaning in the mind of one person stimulated by words/actions of another. • Click to SenderMessage edit Master text styles Receiver – Second level • Third level Ideas – Fourth level Feelings • Fifth level Intentions Needs Attitude towards you Goals Values REACTION TO THE: Ideas Feelings Intention Needs Attitude interpretation Goal expectations Value translation RESULTING IN MEANING Managing Dynamics Communication Myths Click to edit Master title style Common Myths About Communication Rather... 1. Other people understand what their • Click to edit Master text styles internal voices tell them, then their 1. When I say things, others will understand and respond as I want them to. – Second level response is affected by their perception. 2. People attend primarily to the • Third level message I am sending; my words – Fourth level and actions are what count. 2. Meaning is created, not transmitted. My actions stimulate meaning, not always the one I sent; I control very little of the interpretation. 3. Communication is relatively simple and under the control of the communicators. 3. Communication is complex; misunderstanding is the rule, not the exception. 4. Communication takes place only when I intend it to. 4. All behavior is communication. • Fifth level Managing Dynamics Communication Interactions Click to edit Master title style 1. Most people read your body and experience their about you, Master whether text you speak •truth Click to edit stylesto them or not. – Second levelread and know your truth about 2. You conversely Third level them,• whether they tell you or not. – Fourth level non-verbal • Fifthmessages level 3. Our about people, places and things come in rapid stages and in these ways: Visual Auditory Kinesthetic Intuitive Managing Dynamics Communication Interactions (continued) Click to edit Master title style 4. The next step in the process is synthesizing input • and Click to edit text styles like: waiting for Master additional information – Second level Language (words, ideas, etc) • Third level Emotion (feelings – Fourth levelbehind the words, movement, etc) • Fifth level moderate, neutral, etc) Energy level (intense, Attitude or intention (your interpretation) Affect on other people (through observation or stories) Managing Dynamics Be in Charge of Communication by… Click to edit Master title style 1. Assessing the other person’s behavioral style and adjusting your response to their needs. • Click to edit Master text styles 2. Consciously selecting the position from which you will – Second level operate to get your desired results. • Third level 3. Decide the actions to take and create a mental plan related to: – Fourth level • Fifth level Your frame of reference Their behavioral style What you have control over What you do not have control over The time constraints, if any The long range goal The short range goal Compromises and trade-offs Your desired outcome Managing Dynamics Winning Communication Skills Click to edit Master title style “People like people who are like themselves.” • Click to edit Master text styles Research has shown – Second level people are more receptive to those they perceive as being similar to themselves. • Third level – Fourth level Unconsciously, welevel have • Fifth behavioral similarity with people we like, however under stressful conditions or in first meetings we often mismatch the behavioral cues of another person because we don’t know them yet, resulting in a strained relationship. Managing Dynamics Pacing Click to edit Master title style Engaging the conscious mind while communicating Click to edit Master styles to• the unconscious mind. Ittext is the process of opening a window to the unconscious mind. – Second level • Third level Pacing techniques – Fourth level are the heart of communication. • Fifth level Pacing refers to methods of establishing rapport and receptiveness with another person by getting in sync with some aspect of that person. Managing Dynamics Areas of Focus: Pacing Click to edit Master title style Pacing keyMaster words and • Click to edit textphrases styles Pacinglevel behaviors – Second • Pacing voice characteristics Third level – Fourth level receptivity to influence Establishing • Fifth level Supporting others Building unconscious rapport Managing Dynamics Pacing Click to edit Master title style Benefits of Pacing: Matching a person’s behavior creates rapport. • Click to edit Master text styles Rapport generates receptivity. – Second level Receptivity allows you to lead the person to • Third level your –desired outcome. Fourth level Fifth level Three types• of Pacing: Direct: Matching actual behaviors Indirect: Matching similar behaviors Complementary: Matching intensity Managing Dynamics Guidelines for Commitments Click to edit Master title style 1. Make commitments and promises you can keep. • Click to edit Master text styles 2. Make commitments aligning you with your priorities. – Second level 3. Make your commitments specific. • Third level – Fourth level 4. Make your commitments public. • Fifth level 5. Tie down your commitment with a specific details 6. Establish a structure of support: When, where, how, will we get this done? How will we measure success? Managing Dynamics The Winner’s Mind Click to edit Master title style • Has an expectation of success Has a commitment to move Click to edit Master texttoward stylessomething Is work for goals in spite of obstacles – willing Secondtolevel Is motivated internally • Third level – Fourth level Uses mistakes to notice how to do something differently • Fifth level Has options and is flexible Uses intense concentration Draws upon sources of energy and inspiration daily Can access hidden energy reserves