Transcript 95% of the Stress in your life is self
Ten Fundamental Principles for Reducing Stress in our Lives
(95% of the Stress in your life is self-induced)
1 Focus more on the positive aspects of your life and spend less time exaggerating the negative.
2 Stuff happens, learn from it but do not replay bad experiences over and over again.
3 Choose to function with a resilient attitude whenever possible.
4 Learn to break out of your reactive modes.
5 Be aware of the quality of your own self talk.
6 Learn to create positive images in your mind when you face new challenges.
7 Learn to let things go.
8 Eat right, sleep and get regular exercise.
9 Take ownership of your day and your life before you leave home.
10 Never lose your sense of humour.
“As much as 25% of your day is lost in reacting to what is going on in your day.”
R D O’Brien and Associates
(905) 309-5035 - email [email protected] theresilientjourney.com
A short list of some practical insights that point the way to the path of personal renewal in these challenging times.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Learn to live with Uncertainty.
(security, stability and predictability are things of the past ) Beware of the Victim Mentality!
(it is an emotional trap that depletes performance and spirit) Learn to Manage your own Morale.
(refuse to commiserate and accept ownership for your own morale) Optimize and Neutralize the impact of Change.
(develop and maintain the capacity to be change hardy) Audit and Invest in your Own Career.
(take personal responsibility for improving and maintaining your value) Be mindful of your own Attitudes and Impact on others.
(sometimes our own view of life is the real problem and other people see this) Develop the capacity for effective Self Counsel.
(become self encouraging and monitor your own self-talk) Recognize the Macro Picture and be Vigilant.
(know where to focus your efforts and predict change before it happens) Dedicate your life to becoming more Resilient.
(focus on becoming more flexible, adaptive and renewing in the face of surprise) Practice effective Self Care.
(maintain energy, spirit and vitality through reasonable health practices) Make a contribution regardless of the Circumstances (circumstances do not determine a person, they reveal them) Take a stand on your principles and deliver it with Grace and Dignity.
(become the change you want to see in your organization) “Every living human being has to deal with whatever life sends them, and it is only through self confidence, perseverance, knowledge and skills that they will succeed”.
R D O’Brien and Associates
(905) 309-5035 - email [email protected]
theresilientjourney.com
1 2 I will deal with whatever surprises life sends me today.
I will rise above any negativity in my life.
3 I will catch myself before I react and seek the means to respond wisely.
4 I will smile often.
5 I will constantly remember all I have to be grateful for.
6 I will always remember that we are all doing the best we can, with what we got at the time we are doing it.
7 I will accept people for what they are and endeavor to refrain from judging, criticizing, attacking or discouraging.
8 I will try to leave this world better off than when I woke up this morning.
9 Though it will be a struggle “I will constantly attempt to improve the depth of my sleep, the quality of my food, the care of my body, and the state of my mind.” 10 I will forgive myself and seek greater wisdom when I struggle, slip or fail at these!
Life is less about chance and more about choice. You and you alone make the daily choices of your life. When things are not working well, look to your recent choices and you will discover the cause.
Eight Fundamental Choices in Life.
You can always choose: 1 What you Focus on 2 What you Think 3 What you Say 4 What you Do 5 What Attitude you will employ 6 How you will Respond to life 7 Your Self Talk 8 Your Explanations
R D O’Brien and Associates (905) 309 5035
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have a strong sense of purpose are change hardy are chaos tolerant are able to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity 5.
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can be flexible without compromising values are able to adjust quickly to the situation as it changes are able to incorporate new ideas and new information as it becomes available tend to be realistic optimists 8.
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encourage others and anchor themselves 10. deal effectively with surprise, failure and discouragement 11. are rooted in the big picture 12. know that life requires action 905 3095035 [email protected]
- theresilientjourney.com
9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Breathing Place Stretching Light Walking Laughing Island Time Self Talk Smell Rituals Time Outs Water
Some Thoughts, Places and Ideas where you can go in the middle of a difficult day to find a moment of needed peace.
R. D. O’Brien and Associates (905) 309 5035 - [email protected]
By Dick O’Brien
Places to go in the middle of a moment for a troubled mind on a difficult day.
The sun will come up tomorrow
For the vast majority of us there will be another day to live and learn from the day before, and improve on the day to follow. Every one and everything is a teacher and every day has a new lesson.
The power of appreciation
We must learn to want the things we have rather than have the things we want.
The need for simplicity
We seem to have overcomplicated our lives and are searching for a return to the recognition and mastery of the simple things and experiences in life.
The capacity for resiliency
The human being is a marvelous example of adaptability and recovery. We often have a greater capacity to rebound from difficult situations than we give ourselves credit for.
The power of laughter
It uplifts the moment and tends to be contagious. Laughter is often the spiritual glue of sanity that grounds us in a more reasonable perspective on life.
Life is sometimes difficult.
It is more of a mystery to be lived than a problem to be solved. Life is often not without pain, struggle and disappointment. This too is part of the journey.
Life should be celebrated and not survived.
Just getting by is not good enough. Quality living can never be experienced at the survival level.
Life is a journey, an adventure, and a challenge
There will be peaks and valleys, good days and bad days, success and failures and they are all part of the decision to choose life and everything that goes with it.
We must make the best of everything we can
and often with the worst of what we got. Life really is what you make of it.
We can grow from every turn in the road.
It’s not just what happens to us in life that counts, it’s also how we choose to respond to it.
"In the middle of a storm ships seek the safety of the harbour to ride out the gale."
Go-to thoughts that challenge the mind!
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Beware the victim mentality. Though we may be a victim of the present changes in society, we do not need to accept the victim mentality as our life script.
The solution to the present challenges is to develop personal self-efficacy--the fundamental belief is that you can deal with whatever life sends you.
It is not what happens to you in life that counts; it is how you choose to deal with it.
95% of the stress in your life is self induced!
Life is fundamentally a journey and not a destination. The present changes in society are part of this journey.
Much of the human fallout of change (rumours, negative attitudes, etc.) is unworthy of you as an individual and corrosive to your personal self-efficacy. The most important defence against this cancer is to learn to let go.
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Every time you allow anyone or anything to affect you in a negative way, you give that anyone or anything power and authority over you.
Before you can take good care of anyone or anything you must first take good care of yourself.
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You cannot give what you do not have. We must care for ourselves before we can care for others.
10. Most people make great leaps during periods of personal trials. You either grow to be bitter or better, you cannot remain stagnant.
11. Attitude is 80% of your resume.
12. The ultimate security you have today is yourself. This is not good or bad. It just is.
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Circumstances don’t determine us, they reveal us!
14. A human being has a much greater capacity to deal with change than we allow ourselves to believe. 15. Beware of self limiting belief systems that serve to impede our natural depth of ability to deal with life.
Dick O’Brien 905 309 5035 [email protected]
16. Though positive attitudes are greatly needed during these times, they are not natural. It is more likely to see and hear negative attitudes during difficult periods. Resilient people recognize the challenges in front of them and still choose to be positive. 17. Focus on their own personal behaviour and integrity.
18. Our outside world begins with our inside world.
19. You become what you think!
20. You are either a student or a victim of life.
21. Often, we are less victims of life and more victims of our own thinking.
22. Struggle is the price we pay for being alive.
23. Become quiet, reflect and listen to the wake up calls.
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Learn to ask yourself “Will this matter three hours from now?” 25. When you insist that life go a certain way, you are always going to be disappointed.
26. You only grow outside of your comfort zone.
27. You can start your day over any time!
28. Be the calm before, during, and after the storm.
29. Know that a well lived life is nothing more than a series of well lived moments.
30. You are not your past!
31. Life Requires Action. Good intentions are not good enough!
32. The events of your life are not your problems. The interpretation of these events are the source of your problems.
33. You are 100% responsible for how you respond to the circumstances of your life.
34. You are where your thoughts have taken you.
35. All is well, in spite of what is going on inside and outside of me.
36. Your true character is revealed by the clarity of your convictions, the choices you make, and the promises you keep.
37. What is the lesson in this for me?