Customer care and its effects on dissatisfied purchasers of exotic birds

(The ‘Dead Parrot’ Sketch)

Mr Praline 1

Background 

Parrot purchased in this shop

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(erroneously referred to as ‘Boutique’)



One hour previously

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Avian description – Blue

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Country of origin - Norway

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SWOT analysis 

Strengths

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Beautiful plumage

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Moves when cage is hit

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Weaknesses

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No vital signs

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Appears to be dead

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Fails to respond to offer of cuttlefish

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SWOT analysis (contd) 

Opportunities

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Throw bird into the air

•

Bang it on the counter

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Threats

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Bird could be stunned

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(Norwegian Blues are known to stun easily)

•

Could be pining for fjords

4

New development 

Cadaver is observed to have been joined to perch by means of a pointed piece of metal hammered in as a fastener (nail)

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Rationale:

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Had this precaution not been taken, it could have reached, and then prised apart, the cage bars.

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Conclusion 

Aforementioned exotic bird is:

– – – – – – – –

Passed on No more Expired; gone to meet maker 1 Stiff (and bereft of life) Rests in peace Off the twig [sic] Shuffled off mortal coil Gone to join choir invisible [idiom]

 

1 Reference to certain religious conceptions of origination No replacement available at this time Customer declined slug due to it not being able to speak

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