Transcript LOVE & SUPPORT

LOVE & SUPPORT
Helping your child succeed in school (and life)
Mrs. CJ Fisher & Mrs. Katie Brown
ELL Family Night, 12/12/12
Shuksan Middle School
Why We’ve Gathered Tonight
Families’
attitudes and
actions can
ensure students
success.

Families will gain practical
strategies for supporting
their child's learning and
success at school

Families will choose two
learning actions to try at
home

Families will learn that
other parents face similar
difficulties at home and feel
a sense of community.
Truth #1
#1. Children need love and support
before they need academic tutoring
What leads to student success?
"Studies show that children who feel respected and
valued in their families do better in school, have
more friendships, and live healthier,
more successful lives.”
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent
Child, Dr. John Gottman
Support = showing empathy
What it is:
 Empathy is an
understanding what a
child feels
 It is a true
understanding that
the task is difficult.
 You don’t have to
agree to empathize

POSSIBLE
ACTION
What it sounds
like:
 "Yes, it will probably
be a tough
[assignment] today.
C'mon, let me help
you get ready."

youthsports.rutgers.edu
Support =
speaking love & encouragement

On average, we have
20 minutes a day
to…
◦ register a complaint, a
command, or a
request for assistance

As kids grow older,
the ratio of negative
to positive
comments appears
to increase
POSSIBLE ACTION
 Try to up your ratio
of positive to
negative comments.
 4:1? 5:1? 8:1?
 The number doesn’t
matter… the impact
is what matters.
familyeducation.com
Words that make kids feel great
Yes Good Fine Very good Very fine
Excellent Marvelous That’s right Correct Wonderful
I like the way you do that I’m pleased with (proud of ) you
That’s good Wow Oh boy Very nice Good work
Great going Good for you Great effort
That’s the way
Much better
O.K. You’re doing better
Good idea What a clever idea
That’s it Good job Great job controlling yourself
I like the way you ______
I noticed that you ____
Keep it up I had fun ______ with you
You are improving at ______ more and more
You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______
Way to go I appreciate the way you ______
You are great at that You’re the best
Good remembering That’s beautiful I like your______
I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked
Truth #2
Families do play a critical role in
students’ academic success
as strategic coaches,
not demanding bosses
ATTITUDES
OF SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES
Praise kids for
working hard, not
for being smart
Encourage
“personal best”
Show interest in
school work
Brain Rules
by Dr. John
Medina
Personal best
does not mean
perfect
Avoid nagging and
over-interrogating
about home work
What can happen
when we praise
kids for being
smart?
Learning is not
the same thing as
high grades
Here are some
more great
ideas….
We all need the
freedom to learn
from our
mistakes
Show Interest In School by…
Talk about school each day.
 Ask to see class work.
 Listen to your child read aloud
 Read to and with your child from a
variety of material in your first language.
 Contact teachers for Wednesday
meetings

ACTIONS
OF SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES
Help set
goals.
Organize with
your child.
Grades
Backpack
Activities
Agenda/
Planner
Behaviors
Binder
Establish
homework
routine
Same place
and time
every day
Support
100 %
attendance
Attendance
linked to
graduation
rates
Truth #3
All families experience
academic and school difficulties.
There are many resources
(other parents included) to help
solve specific problems.
ADVICE FROM
“Help on the Home Front for Disappointing Grades,”
from Getting to Calm by Dr. Laura Kastner
Don’t
make
it
worse.
Keep a
positive
relationship.
Link
homework
and good
grades to
social
freedoms or
to temporary
prizes.
Organize
the
home
space.
Organize the home space.

Teens may need their
parents’ help in planning,
organizing and persisting.

Intrude as little as
possible

Help a disorganized teen
manage his social and
athletic life to include a
time and place for
concentrating on
schoolwork.
POSSIBLE ACTION
◦ Decide on a block of time
for home study hall
◦ Limit access to media.
◦ Figure out the best
location
◦ Determine whether parent
“coaching” will be effective
◦ Consult with teachers or
school counselors, who
may have additional ideas
and insights into the
problem.
Strategies When Grades Slip
Make a
plan with
your
student’s
input
Make
homework
time,
learning
time
Ask for
help
Make a plan with
your student’s input.


They won’t do it, if
they don’t buy in.
What plan can you
create with your
student to improve
grades?
POSSIBLE ACTION
◦ Create a homework
contract with your
student
◦ Use it for a limited
time
◦ Monitor
◦ Check in
◦ Adjust
◦ Celebrate
Getting to Calm (Kastner, p. 213)
Make homework time,
learning time.

How can you
respond if your
student says, “I don’t
have homework!
POSSIBLE ACTION
 Make study time a
priority
 Use Learning Time
Checklist or other
resources for
additional learning
activities
Reach out for help.

Since all families
experience these
problems, there are
many, many
resources.
POSSIBLE ACTION
 Use
problem/solution
cards for strategic
intervention
 Call your student’s
teachers
 Join a parent class
like “Strengthening
Families”
Truth #4
Sometimes,
we all benefit from taking a step back.
The Big 10 Characteristics of a
Successful Teen










Motivation and drive
Practical reasoning and judgment
Moral attentiveness and character
Emotional awareness
Healthy habits
Self-control and emotional management
Social skills
Communication skills
Intellectual interests and abilities
Spiritual awareness
Getting to Calm (Kastner), p. 225
How can we set up our students for
success in life?
Focus on an
authoritative and warm
relationship with
students
View intellectual
interests as only one of
a whole set of
developing
characteristics
Getting to Calm (Kastner), p. 225
What are some take-aways
from tonight’s discussion?
*Let’s review our checklist. Select 2-4 strategies you
would like to start using with your student.
*Write a note of encouragement. If you’d like to take a
moment to connect with your student, blank note cards are
available.
*Thank you for attending tonight. This presentation
and other handouts will be available on Shuksan’s webpage
in the “Families” section. Please contact any Shuksan staff
member with any questions or concerns.
Resources
These resources were consulted in the preparation of this class
U.S. Department of Education
www.Scholastic.com/parents
www.Internet4classrooms.com/parents
www.School.Familyeducation.com
www.Parentmap.com
Brain Rules by John Medina
Beyond Smart by Linda Morgan
Getting to Calm by Kastner & Wyatt
www.Gettingtocalm.com
“Parent to Parent” videos on King 5 or at
parentmap.com
40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents
The Lawrence Hall of Science at UCAL, Berkeley
www.search-institute.org
www.Lawrencehallofscience.org/parents/
support