Transcript PIZZA: Poor Example

Showing, Not Telling
The Magic in Good Writing
•Shows Instead of Tells
•Uses Sense Words
•Uses Active Verbs
By
and
What do we want to learn:
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Why it is important to show, not tell
What are poor examples of show, not tell.
What are good examples of show, not tell.
What should be included in a “show, not tell”
How to “show, not tell” actions and feelings in their writing
What we want to be able to do:
• Write descriptive paragraphs from a short, non-descriptive
sentence by slowing down the action through
• Imagery using sensory details
• Comparisons using metaphors and similes
• Action verbs
Watch the movie and take the online quiz.
Then, answer this question.
• Write one sentence on why it’s
important to show, not tell?
http://www.brainpop.com/
english/writing/shownottel
l/index.weml
• It is important to show not tell
because you need to get your
reader to picture what you are
writing about.
In the movie, Tim and Moby said that these show not tell:
ACTION VERBS
IMAGERY (sensory details: hear, see, smell, touch, taste),
COMPARISONS (simile - uses like or as)
COMPARISONS (metaphor - describing something as though it is actually something else)
Matching Game!
“Drag down” the phrase that describes how each
sentence shows not tells.
Put the phrase in back of the matching sentence.
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action verbs
imagery (sensory details)
comparisons (simile)
comparisons (metaphor)
When my dog eats, he is a pig.
My sister cried like a baby.
My stomach is grumbling.
The bells chimed four times, a high-pitched fairy sound.
http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html
Read the 2 telling and 2 showing sentences at the top of the page
the 4 telling and 4 showing sentences at the bottom of the page.
Copy and paste one poor
example of show, not tell
:
Copy and paste one
of show, not tell :
good
example
Color code an example of IMAGERY,
COMPARISONS, or ACTION VERBS
• It was foggy.
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the windowpanes
•
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the
window-panes
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Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
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Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
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Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from
chimneys,
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Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
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And seeing that it was a soft October night,
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Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html
Read the 2 telling and 2 showing sentences at the top of the page
the 4 telling and 4 showing sentences at the bottom of the page.
Copy and paste one poor
example of show, not tell
:
The girls were excited.
Copy and paste one
of show, not tell :
good
example
Color code an example of IMAGERY,
COMPARISONS, or ACTION VERBS
Giggles and screams filled the arena. The
soft curls were now damp with
perspiration and the anticipation of the
event. They held tight to each other in
a mock effort to contain themselves.
Arms flailed upward, and voices
echoed in varying tones. The moment
was here.
http://www.gigglepotz.com/hpchamber.htm
Read the first two paragraphs,
noting the descriptions.
Choose, then copy
and paste,
4 words or
phrases that are
good examples of
show, not tell:
• The steam pouring
• vivid hair
• Raindrops the size of
bullets
• Hagrid's pumpkins
swelled to the size of
garden sheds
http://www.kidsreads.com/harrypotter/book1.html#excerpt
Look for the description of Dudley and Harry.
Choose, then copy
and paste,
4 words or
phrases that are
good examples of
show, not tell:
PIZZA: Poor Example
• The pizza was good. It
was hot. I liked it.
PIZZA: Good Example
• Steam rising up off the
melted cheese made my
mouth water. The first bite,
my teeth sinking into the
cheese through the tomato
sauce and into the moist
crust, made me chew and
swallow rapidly. Even the
cheese and tomato sauce,
sticking to my fingertips,
begged to be licked.
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http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html
Look at the following pages
of examples.
• Choose one topic from the list:
• Write 3 telling sentences on the poor example slide.
• Now, let’s PLAN then WRITE 3 showing sentences
on the good example slide.
Let’s do one together!
• First we’ll write three “Tell” sentences.
• Then, we’ll write three “Show” sentences.
ICE CREAM: Poor example
ICE CREAM: Good example
Now do one with your partner.
Each of you will write on your own computer, but
discuss with your partner and write the same information.
• Choose one topic from the list.
• Write 3 telling sentences on the poor example slide.
• Now, PLAN then WRITE 3 showing sentences on
the good example slide.
REMEMBER
1. Choose one of the topics:
• pet
• nervous
• swimming
2. Write 3 telling sentences on the poor
example slide.
3. Now, PLAN then WRITE 3 showing
sentences on the good example slide.
PET: Poor example
PET: Good example
NERVOUS: Poor example
NERVOUS: Good example
HOW YOU FEEL WHEN
SWIMMING: Poor example
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HOW YOU FEEL WHEN
SWIMMING: Good example
After choosing, your example:
Now, open Inspiration
* Paste the picture of the
Good Example in the corner.
* Make the topic your main idea.
* Drag over 5 senses images: eye, nose, ear, etc.
* With your partner, web as many ideas of sense
reactions and feelings for this topic.
* Have your descriptions be vivid and detailed.
* Think of your five senses.
* What can you hear? See? Smell? Taste? Feel?
Use these details!
Now you’re ready to write
five wonderful sentences that
show your topic, including
senses and feelings.
Put this right on the slide
next to the picture!
YOUR OWN CHOICE:
Poor example
YOUR OWN CHOICE: Good
example
Good job learning more about
Show, Not Tell!
• Save by going to File, Save
• Print your page that has your GOOD
PARAGRAPH ON IT
– Make sure your names are on the page!
We’ll be posting your paragraphs on the Internet
so others can learn from you!