Transcript RECLAIMING ONE’S LIFE AFTER ABUSE

RECLAIMING ONE’S LIFE AFTER ABUSE
Darlene J. Harris
San Diego City College
World Cultures Program 9/23/14
DEFINITIONS
Reclaiming
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To recover,
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To take back what was taken
IDENTIFYING CRIMES
WHAT IS RAPE / SEXUAL ABUSE
Rape is any kind of sexual intercourse (vaginal, oral, or
anal) that is committed against a person's will or is
committed with physical force or with a threat to hurt the
victim or another person. It is also considered rape if the
victim is intoxicated or unconscious and unable to give
consent. Rape and sexual assault are not about sexual
desire--they are about power and control.
IDENTIFYING CRIMES
Molestation
• is the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18,
including touching of private parts or exposure
Babies as young as 1 to 8 days old have
been reported to have been sexually
penetrated and sodomized by teenage
and adult abusers
IDENTIFYING CRIMES
Child abuse (maltreatment)
•
physical abuse
•
molestation
•
psychological abuse (what are some examples)
•
neglect
WHO ARE THE ABUSERS?
•
Abusers can be parents or other family members,
caregivers such as teachers or babysitters,
acquaintances (including other children), and (in very
rare instances) strangers
IDENTIFYING CRIMES
Domestic Violence
•
The willful intimidation, physical assault, sexual
assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated
by an intimate partner against another
WHO IS AFFECTED
•
Women are attacked about six times more often by
offenders with whom they had an intimate relationship
than are male violence victims
•
Nearly 32 percent of all female homicide victims are killed
by their husbands, former husbands or boyfriends
WHO IS AFFECTED
•
In contrast, only 3 percent of male homicide victims are
killed by their wives, former wives or girlfriends
•
Everyday in the US, more than three women are
murdered by their husbands or boyfriends
WHO IS AFFECTED BY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
•
Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or
beaten
•
Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a
relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or selfharm if presented with a breakup
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Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness
some form of domestic violence annually
WARNING SIGNS
•
The existence of emotional, mental and verbal abuse
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Threats and intimidation
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Isolation from family and friends
WARNING SIGNS
●
Controls all the family finances
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Violence may escalate when alcohol / drugs are used
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Gives expensive gifts after violent acts
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Uses electronic devices to keep track of your location
TRUE OR FALSE
•
Children make up stories about being sexually assaulted
•
People who sexually assault children are strangers to the
child
•
Most sexual assaults happen in the home or in the home
of people the child knows
TRUE OR FALSE
•
30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence
also abuse children in the household
•
The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion
each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and
mental health services
•
Domestic violence is one of the most chronically under
reported crimes
INJURIES DUE TO INTIMATE-PARTNER VIOLENCE
•
scratches, bruises, broken bones, dislocated joints
•
head or spinal cord injuries
•
chipped or broken teeth
•
internal injuries
• Nearly 80% of those who receive medical care are
treated in a hospital, and 43.6% of those victims
spend one or more nights there
rape.http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/sexual_assault_report_1-21-14.pdf
DAMAGES CAUSED BY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
• Emotional/Mental
Blackmail
• Loss of Safety, Loss of
boundaries, fear
• Abandonment – when
incest is the crime
• Depression –
psychological imbalance
• Sadness, overwhelmed
• Feelings of Betrayal –
especially when the crime
involves someone the victim
knows or when a parent is the
perpetrator
• Guilt – blaming oneself
• Shame
• Death – as a result of the
crime
THE ECONOMIC IMPACT- COSTS
• Studies indicate from $87,000 to $240,776 per rape
• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is
more than $8.3 This cost includes medical care, mental
health services, and lost of productivity
http://www.whitehohttp://www.caepv.org/getinfo/facts_stats.php?factsec=2
use.gov/sites/default/files/docs/sexual_assault_report_1-21-14.pdf
FEDERAL SENTENCING
A favorable decision from the courts does not bring healing
•
Federal law maximum sentence for sexual assault is 20
years + monetary fines
•
Federal law provides compensation to victims for
expenses directly related to the crime such as medical,
physical and occupational therapy, attorney fees and other
related expenses
See more at: http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/sexual-assault-penalties-and-entencing
PENALTY FOR RAPE IN CALIFORNIA
• Victim over 14 years of age (but not age of consent)
the potential sentence seven to eleven years
• Victim under 14 years of age the
potential sentence nine to thirteen years
(this is Statutory Rape)
PENALTY FOR THE CRIME
Domestic Violence
Prosecution Attorney determines if the crime is a
Misdemeanor vs.Felony
Please consult an attorney specializing in Domestic Violence
Law.
PENALTY FOR THE CRIME
•
The state might also consider the defendant's prior or
current criminal record and decide whether to pursue
enhanced sentencing
•
Note: State laws are constantly changing -- please contact
a California criminal defense attorney or conduct your own
legal research to verify the state law(s) you are
researching
WHAT CAN WE DO?
A Home is ALWAYS meant for a family to live
peacefully.
Healing means acknowledging, accepting that we were hurt.
And that that hurt involved three areas:
body, mind, and spirit
So, is healing possible?
If YES then HOW?
YES!
HEALING
Healing is not an overnight process. It takes time…..
A Safety Plan - A prevention center can help with this
Center For Community Solutions www.ccssd.org
Therapy - Choose carefully (recommendations/
referrals)
Healing - Continued
Beyond Survivor - Is a Three Stage Process for healing
developed by Rachel Grant
[email protected] or 415-513-0700
Network - Develop a strong network of trusted
friends/family to help you through
Groups - Joining a recommended group is very helpful
because you don’t feel so alone.
DEVELOPING A NEW MIND-SET
• Parents - Make an effort to know children's friends and their
families.
• Boundaries - Teach, communicate and set
• Education - parents, schools, higher education
• Create and develop - listening communication skills
• Demonstrate RESPECT in the HOME
DATING ETIQUETTE TO REMEMBER!
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Trust your instincts and Trust yourself and act accordingly
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Examine your own feelings about sex
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Non-verbals signals- these are 70% to 90% of our
communication
•
Be Independent and Aware of your Surroundings
The soul is a lot more fragile than the human
flesh.”
So Be Kind To YOU!
Thank you it has been my pleasure to be in
your presence.