Transcript Conversations - Professor Mark J. Grossman
8: Inter-Act, 13
th
Edition
Conversations
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Conversations
•
Interactive, locally managed, sequentially organized, and extemporaneous interchange of thoughts and feelings between two or more people
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Types of Conversations 29 different distinct types of conversation common in friendships and romantic relationships Twenty-nine Types of Conversations.
Adapted from Goldsmith, D.J. & Baxter, L.A. (2006). Constituting relationships in talk: A taxonomy of speech events in social and personal relationships.
Human Communication Research
, 23, 87-114.
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Asking a favor: talk with the specific purpose of getting someone to do something for you.
Asking out: the kind of talk one person uses when asking another out on a date.
Bedtime talk: the kind of routine talk you have right before you go to bed.
Breaking bad news: a conversation in which one person reveals bad news to another.
Catching up: the kind of conversation you have when you haven't talked with someone recently, and you talk about the events in your lives that occurred since you last spoke.
Class information talk: informal conversations in which you find out about class assignments, exams, or course material.
Complaining: expressing frustrations, gripes, or complaints about some common experience, directing negative feelings toward the topic but not the other people in the conversation.
Conflict: conversations in which the two people disagree.
Current events talk: a conversation whose topic is limited to news and current events.
Decision-making conversation: a conversation whose goal is making a decision about some task.
Getting to know someone: the kind of small talk you have when you want to be friendly and get acquainted with someone.
Giving and getting instructions: a conversation in which one person gives another information or directions about how to do some task.
Gossip: exchanging opinions or information about someone else who isn’t present.
Group discussion: group talk to exchange information, persuade other people, or make decisions.
Interrogation: a one-way kind of conversation in which one person grills another with questions.
Joking around: a playful kind of talk to have fun or release tension.
Lecture: a one-way kind of conversation in which one person tells another how to act or what to do.
Love talk: talk that has little content but gives attention and expresses love and affection.
Making plans: talk to arrange a meeting or an activity with someone.
Making up: a conversation in which one person or both apologize for violating expectations.
Morning talk: the kind of routine talk you have when you first wake up in the morning.
Persuading conversation: conversation in which one person aims to convince the other to do something.
Recapping the day's events: discussing what's up and what happened to each person during the day.
Relationship talk: talking about the nature and state of a relationship.
Reminiscing: talking with someone about shared events you experienced in the past.
Serious conversation: a two way in-depth discussion or exchange of feelings, opinions, or ideas about some personal and important topic.
Small talk: a kind of talk to pass time and avoid being rude.
Sports talk: the kind of talk that occurs while playing or watching a sporting event.
Talking about problems: a conversation in which one person talks about some problem he or she is having and the other person tries to help.
Types of Conversations 29 different distinct types of conversation common in friendships and romantic relationships
• •
Small talk: exchanging messages about inconsequential (small) topics to meet social needs of participants with low risk Gossip: exchanging messages about other people who are not present
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Gossip!
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The Structure of Conversations
Beginning (opening) Middle (body) Ending (conclusion)
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• • • • •
Characteristics of Conversations Purpose:
what the conversation is intended to do
Sequence:
–
Turn-Taking:
listening alternating between speaking and –
Scriptedness :
using routine conversational phrases or preplanned conversations
Tone
: emotional, relational quality and degree of formality
Participants:
intended or unintended audience
Setting:
physical and emotional environment 36
Guidelines for Effective Conversationalists
• • • • • •
Develop an other-centered focus.
Engage in appropriate turn-taking.
Maintain conversational coherence.
Practice politeness and face-saving.
Protect privacy.
Engage in ethical dialogue.
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Saving Face
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Saving Face (Culture)
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Practice Politeness
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Ethical Dialogue
Authenticity:
direct, honest, straightforward information and feelings
Empathy:
understanding another ’ s point of view • • • • •
Confirmation:
affirming others as unique individuals (not necessarily approving of views)
Presentness:
taking time, avoiding distraction, being responsive, risking attachment
Equality:
treating others as peers, regardless of status
Supportiveness:
praising efforts encouraging participation by 41
Ethical Dialogue
Never do the “Chat and Cut”
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Beginning a Conversation
• • • • •
Five ways to open a conversation: Introduce yourself.
Refer to the physical context.
Ask a ritual question.
Refer to another person.
Use humor or a light-hearted remark.
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Beginning a Conversation
Big Bang Theory: Leonard meets Kurt, Penny’s ex at a Halloween costume party.
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Sustaining a Conversation
• • • •
Use free information:
information volunteered during the conversation
Ask questions
– Closed-ended: “yes” or “no” answers – Open-ended: more elaboration, explanation •
Seek out topics of interest to the other person Self-disclose appropriately Actively listen
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Closing a Conversation
• • • •
Notice and use leave-taking cues (nonverbal behaviors that indicate someone wants to end the conversation).
Verbalize your desire to end the conversation.
Ask to see the person again if appropriate.
Close with a brief stock message.
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Cultural Variations
Low-Context Cultures
Include categorical words such as
certainly, absolutely
Relevant comments that are directly to the point
Speaking one
’
s mind
Silence is uncomfortable High-Context Cultures
Include qualifiers such as
maybe, perhaps
Indirect, ambiguous, and less relevant comments
Creating harmony
Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement
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Digital Conversation Skills
• • • • • •
Awareness of audience Degree of conversational spontaneity Abruptness of disengagement Multiplicity of conversations Acceptance of interruptions Notions of privacy
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Poll: You are having a conversation with a fri...
Poll: A friend just drove off from a visit to ...
Poll: When I get a text message....
Poll: When I send a text message....
Cultural Variations
Low-Context Cultures
Include categorical words such as
certainly, absolutely
Relevant comments that are directly to the point
Speaking one
’
s mind
Silence is uncomfortable High-Context Cultures
Include qualifiers such as
maybe, perhaps
Indirect, ambiguous, and less relevant comments
Creating harmony
Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement
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