Chapter 7 “Building Effective Interpersonal Relationships”

1

Section 1 “Understanding Interpersonal Relationships” 2

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts 3

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Management/employees 4

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Management/employees 1.

Communication with upper-management and employees may be indirect 2.

Communication between mid and lower level is more direct, immediate and ongoing 5

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Management/employees 3. Importance    Establishes positive climate Boosts morale Increases productivity and satisfaction 6

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Management/employees 4. Purpose    Invites participation, suggestions, constructive criticism and questions Creates climate of mutual ownership Makes business operate more successfully 7

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Employees/other employees 8

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employees/other employees 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Each has designated role Tension and competition can create barriers to communication Must view self as valued and equal Appreciate others contributions Work together to accomplish goals 9

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employee/other employees 5.

 Importance So important companies may sponsor social events to develop closer, positive relationships 10

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employee/other employees 6.

    Purpose Creates better understanding More likely to cooperate and communicate productively Adds enjoyment to job Better workers 11

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employee/public 12

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employee/public 1.

 Affect business Dress conveys attitude, friendliness, professionalism, etc.

13

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  2.

Employee/public    Importance Positive relationship increases repeat business Open communication reduces misunderstandings and creates faster solutions Communication by customer can create greater service by employee 14

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Professional Relationships  Employee/public 3.

     Purpose Creates goodwill and loyalty Better work; less turn over Loyalty of customers Good word of mouth creates more business Repeat customer = better bottom line 15

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  Leadership/membership 16

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  Leadership/membership 1.

2.

3.

Work stays on track; goals accomplished Easier to share ideas and solve problems Builds cohesiveness 17

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  Leadership/membership 4.

  Importance Without ties, difficult to work as group Lack of one-to-one can create lack of interest, direction, low morale, ineffectiveness 18

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  Leadership/membership 5.

  Purpose Build sense of interdependence and facilitate achievement of goals Respect for leadership is essential for accomplishments 19

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/member 20

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/member 1.

2.

Common qualities provide base for relationships    Importance Reach goals and advance causes Sponsor events to promote goodwill between members Most events are “icebreakers” 21

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/member 3.

   Purpose Set aside personal interest and focus on group goal Individual benefit is a side effect Main purpose is group cohesiveness 22

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/public 23

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/public 1.

2.

Image plays large role in group success Each member is ambassador to public perception 3.

 Communication should be positive Say something good or say nothing at all 24

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/public 4.

    Importance Goodwill of public can generate funding or support Can promote cooperation to eliminate barriers Allows community input regarding work Organizations can provide special services for the public 25

Relationships in Professional and Social Contexts Types of Social Relationships  member/public 5.

   Purpose Create goodwill and support goals Behavior and communication skills can shape overall opinion of organization Relationship with public plays large part of success or failure of organization 26

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication 27

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Openness 28

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Openness  Willing to share ideas and feeling appropriately to others  Willing to listen carefully and consider ideas and feeling of others  Willing to reflect on effectiveness of communication and adapt to be more productive 29

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Openness  Use “I” messages to demonstrate ownership of thoughts and ideas 1.

Use active listening and provide feedback to show interest in others ideas 2.

3.

Use intrapersonal and interpersonal perception checks Carefully reflect on message so you can adapt and make appropriate decisions 30

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Empathy 31

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Empathy   Involves feeling “with” rather than “for” someone When you can understand someone’s ideas and feelings your relationship is more likely to be harmonious and productive   Use appropriate facial expressions, eye contact and posture to demonstrate interest Respect other’s feeling of personal space and physical contact 32

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Empathy  Use tentative but supportive language to show you don’t know all the answers but are willing to find them  Use perception checks and descriptive language to help the other person express exactly what he is feeling  Listen without judging the feelings or wrong as right 33

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Equality 34

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Equality  Competent communicators view others as equals  It embraces personal and cultural differences  Has equal respect , rights, opportunities and dignity regardless of status or ability 35

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Equality  Lays foundation for “win-win” situation 1.

Make sure V and NV express respect, courtesy and tact 2.

3.

Avoid evaluative or judgmental language Demonstrate willingness to listen without interrupting or responding with judgmental statements 36

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Equality  Lays foundation for “win-win” situation 4.

Use feed-forward statements to personalize messages 5.

Use perception checks to show interest and clarify understanding 37

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Supportiveness 38

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Supportiveness  Care for and respect others  Encourage and help others reach goals  Build trust and loyalty 39

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Supportiveness  1.

Contagious- when you support others, it’s more likely to be returned Use descriptive not evaluative language 2.

3.

Speak in terms of possibilities , not certainties Avoid pressing and negative strategies such as “you”, “why” questions, label or names 40

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Supportiveness  4.

Contagious- when you support others, it’s more likely to be returned Be an active attentive listener 5.

6.

Give appropriate NV feedback Use perception checks to show interest and clarify understanding 41

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Positiveness 42

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Positiveness  Based on positive attitudes and communication that moves relationships and tasks toward mutually rewarding results  Marked by optimism, confidence that you and others can accomplish goals 43

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Positiveness  Encourages enthusiasm others through your  Tends to see element of hope or humor in even the most difficult situations  Focuses on solutions more than problems 44

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Positiveness  1.

Provides constructive criticism and well deserved praise Adjust attitudes to look at bright side 2.

3.

4.

Expect best from yourself and others Be generous with sincere compliments and praise Be active listener with true concern 45

Characteristics of Productive Interpersonal Communication Positiveness  Provide constructive criticism and well deserved praise 5.

6.

Uses NV to show interest and pleasant frame of mind Provide feedback that encourages and gives sense of hope 46

Integrating Interpersonal Skill with Task Skill 47

 1.

2.

Integrating Interpersonal Skill with Task Skill Clarity, efficiency, and accuracy are necessary to carry out tasks effectively Integrate with interpersonal skills Balance provides more personal satisfaction than task skills alone 48

Section 2

“ Personal Style in Interpersonal Relationships”

49

Dominant

50

Dominant

  1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

15 % of population Behaviors Fast paced/task oriented Considered “mover/shaker” – gets things done Will do whatever is necessary obstacles to overcome Skilled at providing direction to others Sought as leaders Will delegate to those deemed competent 51

Dominant

 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Speaks Direct and to the point Can be blunt and critical Can be sarcastic Gives instruction for big picture but omits details to be accomplished before project can begin Inspires others but may be overly optimistic 52

Dominant

 Speaks 6. Doesn’t hide accomplishments self-centered and may be 7. Will escalate conflict 8. Can be manipulative to get results 9. Will close off communication when highly stressed 10. Sometimes needs to be confronted to get attention 11. You may have to push back to get respect 53

Dominant

 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Listens Not patient ; seldom seeks opinions Wants brief answers Wants bottom line first – reasons second Asks if they want more detail Is more interested in task information than people issues 54

Dominant

 1.

2.

3.

4.

How to speak to dominates Provide brief, direct, to-the-point answers Ask “what ” not “how” questions Stick to business ; outline possibilities to get results, solve problems or be in charge Stress logic of ideas or approaches 55

Dominant

 5.

6.

7.

How to talk to dominate Agree with facts or ideas, not person Provide facts , figures about probability of success or effectiveness of options Show how they will reach goals 56

Influencing

57

Influencing

15% of population  Behaviors 1.

2.

Fast paced/people oriented Has an interactor style 3.

4.

Tends to be extroverted, enthusiastic , outgoing, spontaneous and optimistic Appear stylish 58

Influencing

 Behaviors 5. Likes stimulating conversation 6. Has difficulty with routine tasks 7. Gets results by influencing and persuading 8. Valued and sought for fun-loving attitude 9. Enjoys recognition of achievements 59

Influencing

 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Speaks Friendly; initiates conversation Spontaneous and often humorous Makes positive , enthusiastic remarks Physically expressive with face, tone and gestures Often promises more than can be delivered 60

Influencing

 6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Speaks Uses excuses Influences praise and persuades through verbal Makes judgments intuitively analyzing data Physical communicator hugs, pats shoulders instead of – shakes hands, Need to verbally express at length 61

Influencing

 1.

2.

3.

4.

Listens Responsive Encouraging V and NV Interrupts to compare experiences, not dominate Very empathic emotionality due to high degree of 62

Influencing

 5.

6.

7.

Listens Hears only what he wants May not hear negatives Reacts too quickly to speaker’s first words 63

Influencing

 1.

2.

3.

4.

How to speak to an influencing Be a good listener Provide chances for verbalizing about ideas, people or intuitions Speak in democratic terms “I’m the boss; do as I say” – “we” not Give big picture without getting bogged down with detail put details in writing 64

Influencing

5.

6.

7.

8.

 How to speak to influencing Provide testimonials Provide extra incentives recognized as a leader – likes to be Lead step-by-step to conclusions to jump and not be analytical – tend Use small talk business before getting down to 65

Influencing

 9.

10.

11.

12.

How to speak to influencing Be VERY realistic support from you – he doesn’t need Give clear instruction commitment – get firm in writing or through handshake Use confrontation as last resort persuasion and encouragement work better Accept failures and encourage punish – don’t 66

Steady

67

Steady

  1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

35% of population Behaviors Slow paced – both people/task oriented Typically cooperative/efficient Can be counted on to get a job done Fairly reserved Pays attention to detail Loves structure 68

Steady

 7.

8.

9.

Behaviors Very stable Good team player but pessimistic Appears casual or conforming 10.

Reaches objectives through cooperation 11.

Tends to have warm personality and calming effect on others 69

Steady

 1.

2.

3.

4.

Speaks Usually not initiator of conversations or new ideas Likes “us” stability of groups – uses “we” or Gives practical advice Asks “how” not “when” or “if” questions – uncomfortable initiating decisions 70

Steady

 5.

6.

7.

8.

Speaks Thinks things over Faithful /loyal – sometimes to a fault May not communicate well under stress – keeps thoughts and feelings to self – becomes silent or non-involved Will not attack suppresses anger but holds grudges 71

Steady

 9.

Speaks Stores up grievances; ultimately making him suspicious of others 10.

11.

Can overuse kindness when assertiveness is more effective Often doesn’t say “no” when needed 12.

Presents thought out, step-by-step , orderly plans 72

Steady

 Speaks 13.

Can be blunt when disagreeing or defending self 14.

Withholds expression of true feelings; rarely expresses much enthusiasm 15.

Tends to think in term of either/or ; rarely thinks to compromise 73

Steady

 1.

2.

3.

Listens Patient empathic listener due to people involvement Demands honesty and openness Tends to withhold evaluative feedback; has excellent insight but won’t share unless asked 74

Steady

 4.

5.

6.

Listens Creates open-door atmosphere in which sharing work and family issues is acceptable Controls emotional expression so speaker feels accepted Can be wonderful conversationalist because he is wonderful listener 75

Steady

 1.

2.

3.

4.

How to speak to a steady Provide a sincere, personable, agreeable environment Show sincere interest in person, particularly in his family Ask “how” questions to get opinions Draw out goals systematically 76

Steady

 5.

6.

7.

8.

How to speak to a steady Present new ideas or departure from status quo in non-threatening manner and show the benefits Clearly define goals in new plans and point out how he fits into those plans Provide personal assurance and reassurance Give specific, constant appreciation 77

Steady

 9.

How to speak to a steady Refrain from aggression , ultimatums and conflict 10.

Always use logical , systematic rationales when explaining or asking for cooperation 11.

Give time to process and make decisions 12.

Be loyal and supportive 78

Conscientious

79

Conscientious

  1.

2.

3.

4.

35 % of population Behaviors Slow paced/task oriented Highly analytical perfectionists who love detail Tend to be introverted and guarded in relationships Avoid risk-taking at all costs 80

Conscientious

 5.

6.

7.

8.

Behaviors Seeks safety of rules and regulations Appears formal and conservative Follows rules /meets deadlines – expects others to do the same Gets results from working with in guidelines or structure to ensure quality and accuracy 81

Conscientious

 9.

Behaviors Often prefers to work alone groups rather than in 10.

Sought for advice about details and routine 82

Conscientious

 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Speaks Passes the buck if asked for answers Yields a position to avoid controversy Defensive when threatened Exact about details ; may talk at length about details that seem unimportant to others Feels quality is extremely important 83

Conscientious

 6.

7.

8.

Speaks Asks MANY, MANY detailed questions clarify others’ positions to Slow to respond due to processing ALL information Extremely critical of own work and highly critical of others not meeting expectations 84

Conscientious

 9.

Speaks Influences by collecting and organizing factual data and logical presentations 10.

Seldom admits true emotion al reactions and will withhold insights and opinions until feels it safe to share 11.

Seldom gives positive feedback or appreciation to others 85

Conscientious

 Speaks 12.

Has a special talent for organizing and communicating instructs correctly 13.

Follows rules and fulfills commitments 14.

Will seek opinions to argue or move on to seek someone else’s opinion 15.

Very cautious about expressing opinions or making decisions until all data has been checked and rechecked 86

Conscientious

 Speaks 16.

Enjoys intellectual argument as a way of exercising reasoning ability 17.

Seems to take little initiative or contribute few ideas 18.

Fears criticism and may keep to self to feel protected 87

Conscientious

 1.

2.

3.

Listens Attentive , intuitive listener; sensitive to feelings of speaker Misses main point and get off on tangents Asks MANY , MANY questions , which at times may feel like attacks 88

Conscientious

 4.

5.

Listens Needs to hear the same thing repeatedly , reprocess the same info and ask the same questions Takes criticism or comments personally although not aimed directly at him 89

Conscientious

 1.

2.

3.

How to speak to a conscientious Take time to prepare a logical case in advance Provide straight pros and cons of ideas and support ideas with accurate data Provide exact job description with precise explanation of how each fits into the big picture 90

Conscientious

 4.

5.

6.

7.

How to speak to a conscientious Provide reassurance of no surprises Provide step-by-step approach to goal Be specific if agreeing; disagree with facts not person Prepare to provide MANY explanations and answer “how” and “if” questions in a patient manner 91

Conscientious

 8.

How to speak to a conscientious Encourage V independ ence as well as job independence 9.

Provide MANY assurances that you value quality and accuracy 10.

Refrain from antagonistic responses that breed withdrawal and avoidance 11.

Offer much reassurance and support 92

Analyzing Style to Prevent Interpersonal Conflict  Adapt own behavior slightly from relationship to relationship  Realize that a person’s communication style is his natural orientation toward getting work done; it has nothing to do with his perception of you  Less likely to clash if you realize that four styles are necessary to get work done 93

Analyzing Style to Prevent Interpersonal Conflict  “D”s get us going and keep us on task  “I”s provides optimism, energy and humor to create positive creative atmosphere  “S”s calm us down and get us to slow down so we can do the job right  “C”s keep us on task and in line with the rules 94

1.  Adventurous  Polished  Stable 95

2.

 Receptive  Determined  Enthusiastic 96

3.

 Steady  Exacting  original 97

4.

 Poised  Patient  Orderly 98

5.

Forceful Persuasive Settled 99

6.

Cautious Bold Outgoing 100

7.

   Persistent Cooperative Brave 101

8. Attractive Controlled Correct 102

9.

   Competitive Diplomatic Accommodating 103

10. Careful Decisive Popular 104

11.

Dependable Accurate Inventive 105

12.

Convincing Consistent Open-minded 106

13.

Positive Cordial Even-tempered 107

14.

   Conservative Eager Entertaining 108

15.

   Amiable Systematic Self-reliant 109

16.

Sociable Unhurried Precise 110