How to Have Faith and Prepare Every Needful Thing by Helping Those Facing Addiction.

Mark E. Beecher, Ph.D.

Office Professionals Advisory Committee Brown Bag Luncheon January 14, 2010 Adapted from the work of M. Kirk Dougher, Ph.D.

Richard A. Moody, Psy.D.

OPAC Theme

“The future is as bright as your faith.” President Thomas S. Monson “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing , and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God; That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High –” D&C 109: 8-9

Disclaimer

There are no easy or quick solutions  I will not be offering any  Seeking these solutions is usually counterproductive Condensing 14 weeks (28 hours) into one hour You will likely leave with more questions and concerns than answers

Overview

What are common addictive behaviors at BYU?

Involvement vs. Addiction Function of the Behavior Addiction Cycle What Can Be Done?

    Reduce Shame Acceptance Pursuing vs. Avoiding Working Together

“I love the story told at the funeral of Henry Eyring's father. When he was a young man coming across the border from the Mexican colonies to the United States, the customs man said, ‘Son, do you have any pornography in your suitcase or trunks?’ He responded, ‘No sir, we don't even own a pornograph.’” -Vaughn J. Featherstone, Oct. 1999, General Conference

What are the most prevalent addictive behaviors for BYU Students?

Pornography and masturbation Eating disorders Self-harm Gambling Drugs/Alcohol Video Games Others?

Involvement vs. Addiction

Involvement Example: Pornography  Not Seeking Out Porn  Comes With Being a Sexual Human Being  Exposure and Experience Through Everyday Living  Media, Billboards, Internet

Involvement vs. Addiction

Addiction  Repeated Active Involvement  Repeated Attempts to Stop  Engaging in Risky Behaviors  Sacrifice Values in Favor of Addictive Behavior

Function of the Behavior

Why Do It?

Stimulation “Intimacy” Rid the Temptation Sleep Aid Relaxation Avoidance Sense of Control Emotional Grounding

Function of the Behavior

Struggles Increase When  Angry  Lonely  Tired  Stressed  Afraid  Bored  Sad

Addiction Cycle

Avoid Struggles for a While Intrusive Thought (e.g., Advertisement, TV) Try to Push It Out Increase in Frequency and Intensity Binge; Sometimes Hours or Days on End Shame, Guilt, and Remorse Promises, Confessions, Removal of Stimulus

What Can Be Done?

Reduce Shame Acceptance Pursuing vs. Avoiding Working Together

Reduce Shame

Shame perpetuates the cycle Shame makes it feel impossible to reach out to others Constant reminders of earthly or eternal consequences of person’s behavior usually not helpful

Acceptance

“Running away” from impulses is not the answer Guidance to replace “unclean” or problematic thoughts with a favorite hymn or scripture, pray often, attend the temple often, serving others is great advice to help a person in their spiritual development, but typically not helpful as a method to overcome an addictive problem

Acceptance

How Successful Have You Been at Avoiding Thoughts, Impulses, or Emotions?

Acceptance Mary Had a Little___________

Acceptance

What If It Were Really Important  Polygraph We Learn Very Early to Avoid  Examples: Stop Crying Or I Will ….

Movie Theater Childhood Fall

Acceptance

Are you willing to “sit with” or work on the feelings/issues that create the desire to “escape”?

       Angry Lonely Tired Stressed Afraid Bored Sad

Acceptance

Acceptance  Repeated Temptation  Emotional Discomfort  Intrusive Thoughts  Desire to engage in addictive behavior (Not Behavior)

Acceptance

Recognize the Journey  Setbacks are Expected  Missed opportunities for growth vs. terrible, horrible mistakes that cannot ever be repeated again? Under which context are we going to find greater likelihood of success?

Can’t Start Over You get better at overcoming  Progress Over Time

Pursuing vs. Avoiding

Narrowing circle of focus/experience  It is unworkable to stop the journey completely until one “gets control” Actions for the purpose of “avoiding,” “running from,” or “stopping” rarely work

Pursuing vs. Avoiding

Actions for the purpose of “pursuing” values or goals are much more effective  pursuing for its own sake vs. pursuing to avoid something What are your values/goals?

Working Together

Shame Social Involvement   Significant Other Spouse, Friend, Fiancé, Parent, Sibling, RA, Roommate Ecclesiastical Leader  Therapist Intimacy Savior/Atonement “The future is as bright as your faith.” President Thomas S. Monson

Contact Information

Contact me:  [email protected]

 801-422-3035