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Transcript Dating - TypePad

How to Develop a Healthy Relationship

Avoiding Relational Traps

 Emotional  Infatuation  Sex

Emotional Trap:

When we try to meet personal, emotional needs through relationships with others we tend to be___

disappointed

When we try to meet our emotional needs through a relationship, we are focusing on ___ and are not free to___.

getting/give

Relationships based upon emotional needs are often ___ and jealous.

possessive

Robin - “After I had sex the second time, it made me feel horrible. First of all I didn’t enjoy it, and second I thought ‘what are you doing to yourself’? You know you can get pregnant and maybe catch an STD…all these thoughts were going on in my mind.”

Which emotional consequences(s) is Robin experiencing?

Nick - “I had come to a place through all the different heartaches and heartbreaks…I was in a real hole, a dark pit. Sleeping around wasn’t bringing fulfillment in my life. It left me feeling empty”.

Which emotional consequence(s) is Nick experiencing?

Sarah - “Every time I had sex I was giving away a piece of my heart. I was giving away something I could never get back. I found myself making excuses for the bad behavior of boyfriends. I felt used and empty…I started hating myself.”

Which emotional consequence(s) is Sarah experiencing?

Infatuation Trap:

 Infatuation is often confused with ___.

love

 Infatuation is represented by very sudden and intense ___ and can end ___.

feelings; quickly

 Only ___ can determine if infatuation will lead to a more serious relationship.

time

Love vs Infatuation Handout

 As a group, we will fill out “Love vs Infatuation”.  “Take the Love Test.”  Read “Dating to Discover” and answer the three questions.

Sex Trap:

 Sexual, romantic feelings can be confused with being in ___.

love

 Sex can involve only the ___ and prevent a deeper relationship from developing.

physical

 A relationship based only on sex usually does ___ last.

not

Why do you think that 66% of all sexually active teens interviewed reported that they wished they waited longer to have sex?

 Compatibility Areas  Character Counts 

Honesty

Self-control

Respect

Responsibility

Caring

Choosing the right person.

Choosing the Right Person

One of the most important things to know about a potential date is the quality of the person’s character.

Is unselfish

Treat others well

Is tolerate and respectful

Has similar morals and values

Is fun to be with

Respects themselves

Avoiding the Wrong Person

Do not date someone that

Hurts you physically or emotionally

Does not respect your morals and values

Makes you feel badly about your self

Is jealous

Is possessive

Being the Right Person

Honest

Trustworthy

Generous

Not possessive

Good friend

Person of integrity and character

Sexual Assault and Rape

Sexual Assault

Any sexual activity in which force or threat of force is used.

In more than half of the rapes committed, the victim knows the attacker. Being raped by someone you know is more common than left-handedness, heart attacks , or alcoholism.

Most common mistakes made:

 A teenage girl voluntarily agreeing to go to the house, apartment, or car of a young man she has known for less than 24 hours.

 The impairment of the victim by drugs or alcohol.

Safety Tips

 If you are going on a date find out as much as you can about the person.

 If you don’t know your date very well, consider double-dating.

 Know the dating plans and tell someone.

 Don’t hesitate to be assertive when you say NO.

 Be aware that alcohol decreases your ability to react and impairs your judgment.

 If attending a party, do not leave with a guy you don’t know very well.

 Avoid out-of-the way places or secluded areas.

 Listen to your instincts!

Date Rape Drugs

There are at least three date rape drugs.

GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)

Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)

Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

Because of the effect of these drugs, victims may be physically helpless, unable to refuse sex, and cannot remember what happened.

The drugs often have no color, smell, or taste.

They are easily added to flavored drinks without the victim’s knowledge.

These drugs have been used on both men and women.

What do the drugs look like?

 GHB – liquid with no odor or color, white powder, and pill.

 Rohypnol – pill that dissolves in liquids (new ones turn blue in liquid)  Ketamine – white powder

What effects do these drugs have on the body?

 They can affect you quickly.

 The length of time that the effects last varies depending on how much of the drug is taken.

 Alcohol can worsen the drug’s effects.

Are these drugs legal in the US?

 Rohypnol is NOT legal in the U.S. It is legal in Europe and Mexico and brought into the U.S. illegally.

 Ketamine is legal in the U.S. for use as an anesthetic for humans and animals. Mostly animals.

 GHB was recently made legal in the U.S. to treat problems from narcolepsy (a sleep problem).

Is alcohol a date rape drug?

Alcohol is a drug that can put a person at risk for unwanted or risky sexual activity.

When a person is drinking alcohol:

It is harder to think clearly and evaluate a potentially dangerous situation.

It’s harder to resist sexual or physical assault.

Drinking too much alcohol can also cause black outs and memory loss.

If a victim of sexual assault drank alcohol, they are not at fault for being assaulted.

How can I protect myself from being a victim?

 Don’t’ accept drinks from other people.

 Open containers yourself.

 Keep your drink with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom.

 Don’t share drinks.

 Don’t drink from punch bowls, etc.

 Don’t drink anything that tastes funny. (GHB may taste salty)  Have a friend that can “watch your back.”

If you think that you have been raped:

 Go to the police station or hospital right away.

 Get a urine test asap. The drugs leave your system quickly. Rohypnol: 72 hours GHB: 12 hours  Don’t urinate before getting help.

 Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting help. You may disturb evidence.

 Call a crisis center or hotline to talk to a counselor.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 -800-656-HOPE